its a peaceful tuesday afternoon. ang tahimik ng celfone ko ngayon. no usual calls from potential employers. nakakapanibago. nakakakaba. sighs..heavens..my days for the past weeks since i had been unemployed had been action-packed but today seems to be an exception.

at home now. patience level going down at a rapid pace along with my confidence. true, being jobless has its pros if you set  the cons aside. but it just cant go on forever. i have given up my line of work and decided to work on getting a post on a job that pays twice up to trice the salary. i had long been updated by two potential employers that i had passed their exam and interview and would me calling me for the schedule of another assessment test and final interview soon. i dont know what's taking them so long. sighss..i sent my resume to other companies yesterday. wala paring tumatawag.. jeez..waiting game. hayy..

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last sunday, we drove more that 3 hours from home to go to naic, at my brother's girlfriend's place, for my parents to meet her parents. wedding date was agreed. a few hours after we get there, i excused myself to both parties and commuted 2 hours to get to paranaque to attend to shara's wedding. met up with nini and tope. grabe, wala kaming kakilala. shara kept here wedding from our other friends and apparently kami lang palang 3 dun yung hindi nila kamag-anak. 

shara looked very pretty. she was wearing a white dress, not a gown. she was trembling and obviously trying to hold back tears when she was walking down the "impovised" aisle.  i still cant understand why women cry in their wedding. i would like to ask sha, but maybe someday i will. i dont really want to intrude in their honey moon now.

ive met sha's groom-then-now-husband first time on that day. he looked mabait..gwapo ba?hmm..mukhang mabait..basta yun. i remember some time around 2 years ago when sha showed us the picture. back then, we couldnt believe that shara accepted the guy to be his boyfriend. well, actually, i think he would have look way better if he had a different hairstyle. i mean, his features are all not bad. he even has a dimple!! he's rather dark which would have been a plus if he had been tall, but he's not. but whatever. as long as he'd treat shara well, then all will be fine.

married life..

para other dimension. parang outer space.

marriage.. 

at the wedding, we were sitting on the same table with shara's sisters. sapul ako kagad sa mga tanong...

ikaw san ka nagwowork?, asked one of the sisters

jobless po ako. i replied.

they didnt ask if im single. they already know. i dont know how. they talked about setting me up on their cousin but in the end thought better of it saying alam mo naman yung pinsan naten na yun.. said that cousin of theirs is an extremely shy one. i dont know why pero when i heard the whole thing, feeling ko they were trying to perform an act of "kawang gawa" like being single is some form of a handicap. im not actually offended..im more like..curious..wondering. basta ganun.. pero syempre nakakainis parin. hindi sila, kundi yung situation itself yung nakakainis. ewan ko. sighs..

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sa ngayon, i think i want to work on things i can control. career siguro. finances. investments. im doing my best to make R A V E work out. there are many times that i feel like we're not gonna make it, pero sa ngayon, i want "giving up" and "losing hope" to be the last in my priorities. basta..gagawin ko lahat ng kaya ko. tapos bahala na.

oh, heavens..please bless us po..

{ 気分} trying to be hopeful

02:21 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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