i typed "a" in my mail's search box and deleted everything that has "a" in it, which happens to be everything.. and so, i no longer have any emails on my inbox now including the important ones that ive kept for years. oh, very smart. arg.

i just feel like organizing my stuff.  to help myself think clearly, i guess. ive started with the inbox. im way to go.

do you think its weird that im doing all i can--searching my brains for an answer when i dont even know what the question is?damn, i still feel so lost. i wonder if id ever stop feeling lost.

soooo, how was everything?

we're half way in may.still, i am yet to figure out what im gonna do and what i want do with my life. so its quite explainable why im still not making any progress. 

ive finished off 2 books this week, plus nearly a hundred articles (not an exaggeration, i swear. I have loads of free time).. these too didnt give me an answer.

i can feel the lack of motivation eating my spirits away.

i miss having a dream. i miss feeling alive. i think i just want to find another dream to pursue. i cant understand why im having a hard time in figuring that out. i dont know what i want. i wonder if i already stopped wanting things. 

do i need a psychiatrist?

sighs.

well.. i think, i still want a better self. a better life. a great future. maybe its not that i do not know what i want. maybe ive just lost the ability to believe that i can make them happen. i wonder which of the two is more pathetic.

---

totally unrelated:

im listening to this at the moment.

is it just me?or talagang bang she doesnt sound like human? i think she sounded like nature..parang elemental ganun. like a faery or something. or maybe im just lacking sleep.

but i like this song. hindi ko ma absorb (yet) yung meaning.. but i like this song..

{ 音楽} skinny love

11:47 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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