Entries for April, 2016


Friday. April 1, 2016

mga bagay. things

isa sa mga favorite virtues ko sa buhay ang RESPECT.

and may nabasa ako somewhere that said, "respect has room for secrets but not for lies..." to which i totally agree.

i dont know. hindi pa naman ako sure.. pero kung tama ako.. i know i will find it really hard to forgive... well, sana mali ako.

i too lie from time to time. minsan hindi naman yun maiiwasan lalo na nga't kailangan. pero yung taong magsisinungaling for no reason... sighs... hindi ko talaga ma-justify.

eversince, i find it hard to lie to people i have high respect for. kaya pag may nagsisinungaling saken, i see it as a form of disrespect. and i dont think i can be friends with people who dont respect me.

--

i'm trying to be productive and i think i did manage to be productive for the last 2 days. And now, here's the weekend. great. you see, my brains has a funny way of shutting down just when i need it to work for me. kahet ang insomnia, hindi ko maasahan these days.

--

tm meeting today. im thinking of skipping it this time. we're doing that "what's in a bag?" thingy where the members will draw their roles from a bag. bale surprise surprise yung roles. thought of writing a speech last night just in case mabunot ko yung prepared speaker as a role, kaso antok na antok talaga ko. tapos inaantok parin ako ngayon. tas tinatamad pa ko.. tas... basta. ang daming reasons para hindi pumunta.

division A contest tomorrow. id love to watch... kaso ang aga. tas wala akong kasama. may pupunta kayang ibang member? maybe i need to attend to find out. shocks. nakakatamad.. wahhh! takte to... i still have hourssss to think about this. bahala na mamaya. sana topicsmaster yung mabunot ko or evaluator in case umattend ako.. ayoko rin naman kasi talaga ng timer tas wala akong prepared speech. sheesh.. aattend ba ko? nakakatamad.

--

lola's bday on 7th. will be celebrating it on 9th or 10th. i wish my cousins and their children could make it para masaya.

--

next wednesday will be fr. m's last wednesday mass before leaving to rome. nakakalungkot parin. but maybe ill still go there from time to time. parang hindi mangyayari pero sana bumalik sya kagad.

--

got a lot of things to work on this weekend. ngayon lang ata nangyaring hindi ko ni look forward ang weekend ko. sighs.. sabi sa nabasa ko, hindi daw maganda para sa tao ang walang ginagawa. para sa taong madalas na walang ginagawa for the last 3 years, well, i can tell. i know this has to stop somehow.

i need to kick my as* off.. gambatte, self!!

--

ang bagal bagal ng oras.

Happy weekend, everyone!


Written by cinderellaareus at 01:27 PM.

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Saturday. April 2, 2016

sabado

To give myself an excuse not to work on some project I'm suppose to work on, I attended last night's tm meeting. Naisip ko kasi na kahet ano pang role ang mabunot ko wag Lang prepared speaker, then I can get by. And guess what role I picked... prepared speaker. 

I was glad on how mentor was so encouraging. As time goes by the more I can see how I indeed made the right, if not the best, choice of choosing him to be my mentor. I delivered a supposedly prepared speech which was actually impromptu as mentor advised.  It wasn't so good, but from how the crowd seemed to enjoy the speech, I think I didn't mess up so bad. Kahet Hindi pa maganda technically ung speech ko, if I managed to make my audience smile, or feel better... then, I think my speech served it's purpose. In the end natuwa nrin ako sa mga nnngyari.

I also decided to watch the division contest. I love how mentor was so sport about not winning. I'm not sure if I can be the same if that was me. That was why I totally understand G's reaction. I too felt the same. He said he'd be happy if mentor will get any place. Saken naman, getting the 2nd and 3rd place is as good as losing. I know this is not a good mentality but that's me. 

Still, I'm glad I went. I was able to hang out with people I have high respect for. I think I want to surround myself more with this type of people so that I can learn from them and maybe be more like them. When we were going home, before dropping us off in east Ave, G asked if it'd be nearer if he'd just drop me off in marilao. I thought of saying yes because that would mean I'd have more time to talk to them and pick their brains or something, but I remember the scorching heat and on how hard it is to find a bus that would stop to let you in in that area. 

Pero since NASA same club naman kami, siguro my ibang chance pa naman di ba?

----

So, OK. Back to reality. Back to work. Nakakatamad... siguro kailangan mo Lang magsimula talaga at hintayin na magsubside ung laziness. I want to change my life. And to do that, I think I need to work more and talk (or write) about it less.

So yeah, bye for now.


Written by cinderellaareus at 06:04 PM.

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Sunday. April 3, 2016

good morning!

My friend Joan sent me a message saying she's now doing made to order cakes. She just discovered her love for baking a few days ago!! Wow! Nainspire Lang ako on how swiftly she acted upon something she loves and make money out of it. I know I should do the Same.

.... I woke up almost an hour earlier but remained in bed para mag muni muni at mag stalk ng mga Tao sa fb... this is not gonna make me anywhere nearer to my dreams, right? 

I know that like Joan, I should act... and I will... 

It's such a beautiful morning... may our day be filled with happily working hands, striving to achieve our dreams...

HAPPY SUNDAY,  EVERYONE!!


Written by cinderellaareus at 07:02 AM.

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Monday. April 4, 2016

skip

5:50am. Was awake since 3. Mom thought her dog, yuri's dying because he was convulsing last night.. but he's walking now and at least drinking water. He's been sick for some time but mom couldn't contact our family vet. We tried to find another vet but no one was willing to do home service. Mom had to find our old vet's house and she did. Thank God for vets. Maybe they can't prevent pets from dying but at least they can give hope. Hope... that's a huge thing, right. I don't know if yuri's getting better.. but as long as he's still alive, then there's hope. 

We use to have 9 dogs. Now they're down to 6. I don't want it to be down to 5. especially Yuri. He's mom's dog... you see, in our household, dogs are not pets but family...

And so, I'm skipping work today.


Written by cinderellaareus at 06:01 AM.

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Tuesday. April 5, 2016

yuyu

Naalala ko yung mga panahong kinakarga kita nagpupumiglas ka. Ayaw mo kasi na kinakarga ka.

Pero kagabi nung bitbit ka nila bago ilibing, Hindi ka na gumagalaw...

...

Bye, Yuri.  Sobrang mamimiss kita.


Written by cinderellaareus at 04:36 AM.

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Tuesday. April 5, 2016

rice cooker

"Minsan wala nang saysay mainis kung sira yung rice cooker kasi madami namang jollyjeep dyan na pwedeng bilhan; kung na-defrost ba yung ref kasi wala namang laman; kung ubos na yung shampoo kasi may nauwi ka naman sa mga free sa hotel; kung nakalimutan magpa-gas kasi pwede naman mag-uber. Dahil ang mas importante ay bati tayo. Ok na. Diba Didoy? Tara, kain tayo sa labas mamaya. Nakalimutan kasi natin mag-grocery....hehehe #flowermore #saymorewithflowers"

Post ni sis mayi s fb... naiinspire talaga ako sa mag-asawang to. Sa tingin ko eto ang pangarap Kong love story.. : )


Written by cinderellaareus at 05:35 PM.

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Wednesday. April 6, 2016

NC Mnl

Hindi pa tapos.

Hindi pa maayos.

e kaso naeexcite na ko.

haha.

pag dumating na, friends, please support us : )


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:52 AM.

2 comments


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Thursday. April 7, 2016

drained

funny how my mood fluctuates from giddily happy to depressingly sad, nearly suicidal state. tae.

nakakatamad.

i spent the last 4 hours answering this 1 email I have na takte, ang hirap sagutin, mega nosebleed man. promise, kanina ko pa gustong umuwi. huhu.

and then i have a lot of other things im so concerned about. topping my list is , well, money. sheesh.

sabi nga sa nabasa ko, there is no such reality as "something for nothing". Para matupad ko pala ang mga pangarap ko, kailangan ko nang pera.. oh Gawd.. penging pera.. huhu..

marami pang ibang bagay na nakakapagpalungkot saken lately... yuri's death.. fr. M leaving for another country...ano pa ba? sabi nga, "seek and you shall find." kung hinahanap mo kung anong nakakapagpalungkot sayo, e malamang yun yung makikita mo. siguro pagod lang ako.

tinatamad din akong umattend ng meeting bukas. i might be having 2 roles for tomorrow's meeting. originally, topicsmaster ang role ko. but g asked if i can be a backup speaker just in case another one of the speakers fail to show up(because one already said he's not coming). ok lang naman. i was about to say no because i was thinking of writing another speech pero kasi ang tagal nang paurong urong ang schedule ng bsp3 ko. i just want to have it over with. ganun.. para move on na. para bsp 4 na. bahala na kahit hindi ko pa type yung speech ko.. isa pa tinatamad na rin akong magsulat. tsaka hindi naman mortal sin ang mag deliver ng panget na speech di ba? sheesh.. feeling ko lumalabas na naman yung pagka little miss perfectionist ko.

time ba kailangan ko? motivation? tulog? hindi ko alam. hindi ko alam kung anong puno't dulo ng lungkot na ito. baka pms. ewan. siguro may mga ganitong moments lang talaga sa buhay. ang trick lang e yung patuloy mo paring gawin yung mga dapat mong gawin kahit tinatamad ka, nalulungkot at wala kang kagana gana sa buhay.

...

or whatever.


Written by cinderellaareus at 01:49 PM.

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Saturday. April 9, 2016

again

Sabi ni sis rizza, you can only go out of your way for someone to notice you once. If he didn't take the bait, then maybe he's not into you and if so, thene you've got to move on to the next one....

Sabi wag daw ilalabas ang checklist mo unless you're already heading for engagement... Hindi ko naman nilabas... e kaso memorized ko siya. Lol.. it's hard not to notice when you see someone who checks quite a number on your list...  still, ewan.. it's too early. He could be married or he could be gay... but I'm really hoping he's neither...

I take pride of the fact that I now know what I want... because that means, I only have to figure out a way how to get that.... which of course not entirely easy. Technically, isa rin to sa mga pangarap ko. At di ba ang pangarap, dapat tinutupad... hindi yung hinihintay mo lang na matupad..


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:16 AM.

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Sunday. April 10, 2016

hands off

Not married. Apparently not gay too.. but man, ang ganda ng girlfriend! 

Oh, ok... so, off to the next? 

----

Lola's birthday celebration today so I'm throwing diet out of the window for now (actually did it in advance about a couple of days ago). Will have to work harder on eliminating these fats (and more to come) tomorrow. 


Written by cinderellaareus at 08:22 AM.

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Wednesday. April 13, 2016

alamat ng procrastinator

i must be feeling overwhelmed by the size of the things im suppose to do that ive ended up not doing anything.

when i was suppose to write a script for some vid that our NC-Mnl project needs, i ended up deciding to write my bsp4 instead. hindi pa naman kailangan. wala pa namang schedule. gusto ko lang.

then when i was about to write my bsp4, i thought maybe id have more inspiration if i watch some more videos from past world champions.. and the supposed "some" videos turned into around 10+ videos from 10+ world champions, completely forgeting about writing my bsp4 part. ang galing mo, z. you always have an ingenious way of avoiding things you're suppose to do. very good yan. uhmp.

shheeesh.

i wasnt given any role in our next TM meeting. I'm just going to read our TM's promise, which anyone else can do. i wonder if i can just skip this meeting and work on our project instead... but then i remember that having a really cute niece can make working at home nearly impossible.

feeling ko ang dami dami kong gustong gawin wala na tuloy akong nagagawa. i remember oliver emberton's post about saying no to any other alternatives and on how you need to tame the swarm and line up your bumblebees. sa tingin ko kailangan ko na ngang i-tame ang swarm.

i was invited to a book launching event (thanks  sanguine_soul!! =) ) and I'm bringing yang with me on sat. I agreed to meet yang earlier to shoot vids. If i want to not look like a panda because of my eyebags, i think skipping the TM meeting prior that day would be an absolute must. pero kasi...

Gusto ko nang maayos ang NC-Mnl project namin. gusto ko yumaman. gusto ko pumayat. gusto ko maging world champion sa speech contest. gusto ko magresign. gusto kong.... wahhh!!.. ang dami kong gusto. nakakatamad. hindi pala maganda yung marami kang pangarap tapos tamad ka. di magandang combination.

know what, out of the many vid of speeches from toastmasters world champion, which are all great, there is this one speech that i love the most. The 2014 champion, Dananjaya Hettiarachchi... See for yourself and judge.

Ang galing nia. promise.

i want to be a world champion myself. and i cant even write an acceptable bsp4. feeling ko may chance akong makasulat ng winning speech. feeling ko lang. wala naman akong ebidensya. haha.

pero pramis, gusto ko talaga.

Do you see something in me? lol! Oh... TM Dananjaya, please marry me!! wahahaha!


Written by cinderellaareus at 01:13 PM.

3 comments


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Sunday. April 17, 2016

日曜日

Parents going to Tito Leo's place for his  birthday.  Bro, wife and kid going to the mall to chill. I was given a choice which group I'd like to go with. The plan was to all meet up at the mall by 3pm for an eat out. I think I'd rather stay home and sleep.

A few things bother me...

I thought it's the opposite that attracts.  But i realized that when you're too different it's just hard to see the point. This realization sort of saddens me.

And then I went back to being so sleepy again I think I'm not gonna end this entry properly.


Written by cinderellaareus at 08:42 AM.

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Sunday. April 17, 2016

ang lovelife ko

Ang love life ko e parang math problem na hindi ko ma solve...

....

Kung sobrang paborito mo ang subject na Math,  maiintindihan mo ang ibig kong sabihin.

....

Nung college ako algebra ang paborito kong subject next to advanced math. I loved my text book then. In fact I can still remember the name of the author. Catalina Mijares. I remember answering every miscellaneous exercise in that book. Yun kasi yung mahirap.Yun kasi yung hindi ko agad masagot. Minsan kahet hindi naman kailangan, sinasagot ko parin... natutunan ko sa algebra na kahit yung mga math problems na parang walang sagot, meron.

Math problems.. 

Parang love life ko.

Totoo nga kayang lahat ng math problems may sagot?

....

Malalaman ko yan.


Written by cinderellaareus at 11:17 PM.

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Wednesday. April 20, 2016

all the J's

what is the date today? i have no idea. i feel like im losing my sense of date and time. my mind is flying forward to the 29th. anong meron?

wala. wala akong pasok. sis-in-law + kid will be going to their place in cavite. bro will still be in Laguna by then to work. it's gonna be just mom, dad and me. the house will be silent. just exactly what i need.

ill be making videos (of myself!! i know.. the F***, ryt?) for our project. i wonder if showing myself in our vids would actually do more good than harm. but at least i no longer feel too lazy to work on it... in fact na aamaze ako na ang sipag sipag kong gawin ang project na to lately.. siguro kasi.. nag si-sink in na saken na wala narin naman akong masyadong choice. besides, this is NOT really a bad choice, right? mejo na uumay na ko sa kaka japanese pero push.

BSP3 on friday

by sun, we might be going to sis-in-law's place in cavite. fiesta. nakakatamad. i told mom let's just skip it and eat buffet at tito renz' instead. ang init kasi. ayokong gumalaw. i think mom too is toying the idea. tsaka ang layo kaya ng cavite.

opening ng SM SJDM on the 29th.. we plan to go. sakto wala akong pasok. sayang i wont be attending our TM meeting. weird ba kung dadayo pa ko para lang iumattend ng toastmasters meeting? i really hate missing a speech. ang dami mo kasing malalaman sa tao pag narinig mo ang speech nila.. this will be the 1st time id ever skip a meeting since i joined pag nagkataon.

on 8th next month, we will be going to Tanay, rizal para mag swimming. falls daw. makaka swim ba ko sa falls? nakakaswim lang ako pag merong sahig. bahala na.. we will be going with relatives. it's been n years since i last felt the summer spirit. excited na ko.

and on may 9, election na. election-related items in my timeline have been making my head ache. i needed to unfollow a few people for a while. follow ko nalang ulet sila pagkatapos ng election. hindi ko maintidihan kung kailangan ba talaga nating maging ganito ka bayolente dahil lang sa may mga taong hindi uma-agree saten. must be the social media. hindi naman ganito kalala ng nakaraang election. parang lagi tuloy may cockfight sa fb. ewan ko.

--

so far. ayan lang naman. mejo matahimik ang buhay ko lately. sabi to grow, kailangan mo ng gulo. siguro hindi naman laging ganun yung case. guguluhin ko rin naman to soon. but for now, please allow me to enjoy my peace.

ang bait din ng insomnia.. hindi nia na ko dinadalaw lately...


Written by cinderellaareus at 02:57 PM.

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Thursday. April 21, 2016

kumpisal

Isang kababawan. Nakakaasar.

Dati kasi parang mythical creatures ang mga taong gumagawa ng trabaho mo. Tas lumapit ka saken isang araw para magtanong tungkol sa leave ko... woah, ikaw pala yun. Dati pangalan ka na walang mukha. Tas hanggang saken mo na rin tinatanong ang leave ng seatmate ko. Hanggang tinatawag mo narin ako by name. Aba, meron na akong pangalan. hanggang sa aba, ngingitian mo narin ako pag nagkakasalubong tayo sa corridor. Tas minsan pumunta ka isang araw para sabihin saken na ifile ko nalang ang leave ko. Wla pang mythical creature na gumawa non. Trabaho naman na kasi yun ng TL, di ba? Hindi ko alam kung may mythical creature na ba na gumawa ng ganun ever. Kahet yung mga APAC people at that time nagulat. Mejo nanukso tuloy sila ng onti. Hindi ka narin na man bumalik mula non. Tingin ko naman wala lang rin yun on your part. Siguro bored lang ako at nakakalungkot din kasi pag walang crush. Tsaka type ko kasi yung mga tall at mejo dark like you.. Ang arte. Haha.

Kanina, nakita kita ulet, after a long time, sa corridor. Imbes na ngumiti, tumingin ako sa sahig. dang, that was sooooo nene. sixteen years old lang, z??!

Leche. I need to unearth my good old otl book to brush up what tiny amount of flirting skills I possess.

Sh*t,  bat ba ang wirdo ko?

Nerd na weird pa. That's soooo not sexy right? Ugh!

OK. Ayun lang naman. Mga onting kababawan. Siguro bored lang ako.

Ugh! Ignore me. I'm so annoying. 


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:15 PM.

4 comments


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Monday. April 25, 2016

excuses and stuff

gusto kong sumulat ng kagilagilalas na bsp4...

kaso wala akong notebook.

gusto kong gumawa ng lesson for NC Mnl...

kaso naiwan ko yung text book ko.

gusto kong maging produktibong mamamayan ng pilipinas...

kaso tinatamad ako.

bow.

---

lazy weekend passed.

i had my least favorite TM meeting so far last fri. i wasnt feeling well to begin with. then i messed up my speech. alam ko naman ang mga mali sa speech ko tinatamad lang talaga akong mag edit. bat nga ba ko nag toastmasters ulet? ugh. ewan. winning the best speech that night made things even worse. ayoko nang maulit to.. inspirasyon, dapuan mo ko please...

got 3 weeks before my next speech. i actually have a lot of stories and ideas to share. i just dont know how to put them in words. ironic, i've always believed that writing is my core gift. guni guni ko lang ba? baka naman speaking. pero parang hindi din naman. besides, makakapag speak ka ba kung di ka magsusulat muna? pwede naman..pero hindi na ikaw yun di ba? anong point?

ewan. bat nga ko nag toastmasters ulet?

---

i spent half of my saturday cleaning my room and the other half sneezing because of it.

ugh. damn, allergic rhinitis.

sunday, i had a date with my parents. how so not cool. i know. but who cares.

we ate out. then went back home. had some weird convo.. etc, etc.

watched the presidential debate after. bro came just when poe, who gave her closing remarks last, finished.

magulo man at masakit sa ulo ang election, in our household, isa parin itong bonding moment na nakakapagpasaya saken... kahet na nga ba hindi kami pareparehas ng iboboto.

---

3 more days to endure and im gonna wrap up this week then ill have 1 full week of no work! woooohoooo!! it would be fun sana if only my niece will be at home then, but she wont be. pwede naman akong lumabas.. kaso ang init. at tsaka nakakatamad.

---

i started eating fish (yeah, first world issue eto). i hate fish. lasang styro foam. well, di pa naman ako nakakakain ng styro pero feeling ko ganun ang lasa. but to be healthy, sige. fine. push. fish pa. sheeesh.

ang kagandahan pag di mo gusto ang kinakain mo hindi ka gaganahang kumain. mas madali magdiet. sabi ko gagawin ko to for the next two weeks. well, wish me luck.

---

kanina ko lang nalaman na #RORO rin sina sha at gly. nakakatuwa. ive always have high regards for shara's judgment. i dont know... alam kong hindi eto concrete na basis, pero knowing that my friends too are rooting for the same candidate made it feel right-er? hehe.

hindi ko alam. wala namang nakakaalam e. basta ang alam ko lang, buhay ko, responsibilidad ko. hindi ko yun iaasa sa sino mang mamumuno sa gobyerno.

still, ayoko paring magkamali. kasi nga, hindi naman to tungkol saken, di ba?

went to the chap early this morning. i asked the Heavens for wisdom. i often hear bro bo and other people too who said they "heard" God.. or God "spoke" to them. i wonder if literal ba yun. like they heard His voice ganon. i wish God will do just like that. ang labo kasi pag sa paligid ka lang hihingi ng sagot e..

gaya kanina. sa harap ng altar, nadun si Kristo, nakadipa sa crus na ang background e blue... bakit po hindi YELLOW, God?? haha..ewan ko. sabi ni bo sanchez, wag daw humingi ng magical signs... tumingin daw sa scriptures.

you shall not kill..

you shall not steal..

you shall not bear falls witness against your neighbor..

lahat naman ito nasa ibat ibang kandidato. hindi ko matandaan kung meron ba sa scriptures na nagsasabing better ang liar kesa sa killer kaya kung pipili ka from these 2 evils, dun ka sa liar kasi less evil sya. wala namang ganun di ba? or vice versa. basta ang sabi, wag kang manghusga... hindi ka naman judge. haha. ewan ko.

hindi ako bulag sa mga mali. nakikita ko naman. at ayoko rin ipikit ang mata ko sa tama dahil lang sa may mali. lahat naman sila may mga kanya kanyang mali at kanya kanyang tama. ano bang malaking epekto ang magagawa ng iisa kong boto?

....

hindi ko alam.

kahet blue ang nakita ko sa harap ng altar kaninang umaga, alam kong binigyan ako ng Diyos ng kakayahang magpasya..

God, YELLOW parin po ang pinipili ko.. as for the rest, Ikaw na ang bahala.


Written by cinderellaareus at 02:43 PM.

1 comments


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Wednesday. April 27, 2016


i hope my baby thangs will live forever... : (


Written by cinderellaareus at 10:06 AM.

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my name is z


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