Entries for November, 2016
was backreading MM's post and saw his pictures of croissant he bought and ate in paris.
made me want to eat croissant.
one day, i will eat croissant in paris.
03:59 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
P, the guy I once went out with, posted a picture in fb of 2 hands intertwined. The one, I was guessing to be his hand and the other was from some girl wearing French tip.
I don't understand guys posting hands instead of faces in Facebook. I mean, I understand there are people who want to keep their private life private, and there are those who want to be loud and proud about it. But what about those who are in-between? Ugh, I don't get them. Really.
I think I like the girl's French tip though...
11:40 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
It's a Monday and I'm sick AF.
I must've eaten too much back in kaitlyn's bday party last sat. My stomach hurts and I have to make frequent trips at the bathroom so I had to phone in sick at the office. Great.
My head spins at the slightest movement. Maybe because I haven't eaten much. The thought of food makes me want to throw up. much more the sight of it. I don't remember hating food this much.
I so want to play with kaitlyn but I'm feeling nauseous so much I wonder of this is how it feels like to be pregnant. Only, I'm pretty sure I'm not. I hope all these will stop before tomorrow.
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There is this boy who reminds me so much of R. His long and lanky built. The nerdiness, the eyeglasses and also on how he talks to me. I received a friend request from the boy in fb and confirmed immediately. Got curious so I checked his profile. Same course, same interests. I even saw one post when a friend of his called him "master". That's how our other friends call R back in the day and they still do. Master. This is bad. I wonder if I should mark the boy "dangerous", but then maybe I'm just over thinking. Also, he could be gay. For the last 3 years, whenever I notice someone they either fall on that category and if not, married. So I learned not to take my eyes (and heart) seriously. Or maybe I'm just paranoid.
I think I miss R-type men. if I will once again find someone like him, under better circumstances and in a more matured setting, then maybe I will know now how to do better than what I did before... Maybe...
Tsk. I hate being like this.
11:52 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
before i lose them forever, id post them here.
1. Reality is negotiable. Outside of science and law, all rules can be
bent or broken,-TF
2. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is
time to pause and reflect.-mark twain
3. Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work.-CC
4. If you don't contradict yourself on a regular basis, then you're not thinking.-MG
5. Your true value is not determined by your valuables.-DPL
6. Find a happy person, and you will find a project.-SL
7. There is a way to get the rewards fir a life of hard work without waiting until the end.-TF
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back to work. still not in my best condition but at least i no longer feel like puking every 30 minutes. i still dislike food. i found that it is, in a way, good because when i checked the scales this morning and ive lost 5 to 7 lbs in just 2 days! hooooray!! i wish my dislike for food will go on till forever. lol.
02:13 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Labing dalawa.
Labing dalawang oras n road trip ngayong araw. Sakay ng pulang innova, apat n oras kaming nag byahe mula sjdm hanggang makati. Daig p namin ang nag Singapore. Hindi masaya.
Labing dalawa.
Ika labing dalawang araw ng ika labing dalawang buwan ng taon ka ipinanganak. Nasabi ko bang namimiss na kita?
Nalaman ko sa Facebook na nasa makati Karin pala. Maliit lang ang posibilidad n magkasalubong tayo sa daan pero kinabahan parin ako.
Nung pauwi napadaan kami sa espana. Lugar na posibleng nandun ka. Napadaan din kami sa lugar kung san tayo nagkakilala at kahit na gusto kitang makita, umasa akong wala ka dun. Delikado kasi dun pag gabi na.
Naalala ko tuloy yung linya sa isang kanta: It's just the things that happen to me when I'm reminded of you like when I hear your name, or see a place that you've been or see a picture of your grin, or pass a house that you've been in at one time or another...
Nasabi ko bang namimiss na kita?
Sa tingin ko, ang katapatan (honesty) ay pagkilos at pagsasalita nang naaayon sa tunay mong nararamdaman. Katapangan (courage) naman ang tawag sa pagsasabuhay nito.
Isang araw, siguro, magiging matapat at matapang din ako.
01:11 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
i am a person of focus, (which is just a better way of saying that i suck at multitasking) that's why lately ive been having a hard time juggling a lot of things at a time.
too much going on lately. im finding it hard to keep on track.
kcon is just a couple of days away. im still thinking if id commute from home to moa and back or just find a place to stay somewhere in cubao. im yet to pack anything so i guess id most likely end up commuting.
just a week after kcon and its nini's wedding. i have to strictly regulate my food intake otherwise, the gown may not fit me anymore. leche.
also, i just became a member of herbalife. im intending to make a business out of this soon, but before that, i need to use the product first and make sure it works on me so that i can be a walking testament that the product works. so yeah, diet kung diet itech. but i think its refreshing to have a totally different motivation this time.
got hold of an awesome book. tim ferriss' "the 4-hour workweek". the most expensive book i ever bought but i think it was all worth it. halfway the first chapter and its making my heart race already. im just excited to apply what i learn in my life soonest.
...
and then there's that boy... well, we will get back on that.
04:00 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
11 minutes and im off to my super long weekend. will be back to the cage on tues. not bad, eh?
4 days to spend at kcon(maybe 50%++ of which im gonna spend in traffic).
skipping TM meeting on Fri. grand feast on sun. i had to skip some family event. i hate skipping family event.
monday, will go bgc with mom for to buy herbalife products. need their aloe concentrate so bad.
losing an average of 1lb/week. hopefully, this will go on until the wedding. i wonder if he's coming though... tsk, yaan na nga. ugh. sa totoo lang, ayoko nang ganito ko...
3 minutes. sana maging masaya at maayos ang lahat at sana maenjoy namin to.
03:59 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
there's that abnormal thumping in my heart as a write this. i am like this whenever i feel a mixture of excitement, awe, fear and a whole galaxy of other emotions.
4 wonderful days at kcon were over. as always, i learned a lot. i just realized i feel most alive whenever i learn new things and meet new people i wonder if being this way has something to do with my life's purpose. idk.
one of the classes i chose was entitled "from grit to great" where the speaker was jonathan yabut who was the champion of the apprentice asia season 1. grabe, he was so galing i was in awe the whole time. i dropped writing down notes altogether because i didnt want to miss a single word from his talk. grabe, ang galing nya!! he actually reminds me of my mentor, ivan. the composure, the way he speak, his outstanding common sense.. and pati aura din. i dont know if its just me.
we were not able to take a photo with jonathan but i think its ok. in fact i wasnt so keen in taking pics with anyone from the speakers i admire from this year's kcon because i dont think taking a pic will make a difference--I WANT TO MEET THEM IN PERSON. i want them to know my name. i want that when they see me, they greet me by the name with matching beso beso pa. ganung level. i dont want to be a mere fangirl anymore. i really want to hang out with these people. i want to be like them. be one with them. i dont want to just sit in the sidelines admiring how great they are. i want to see if i can do the same and i want it so bad it hurts.
i just thought of sha. she was once someone i admired and i still do. but it's different now. whenever she see me, she now greet me by the name and do beso beso. i want things to be the same with the other people that i admire. before i met sha i was scared of her. not because she's scary, maybe because i saw myself as someone who doesnt/cannot/wont keep up with her level. i guess sometimes it's just us who's building our own barriers that keep us from reaching out to people.
i told yang we will find a way to meet dylan wilk(another speaker we loved at kcon) in person. i intend to do the same with jonathan yabut. i dont know how, but i will. i dont know if i can pero bahala na.
sabi ni tim ferriss, mas madali daw i reach yung mga (seemingly) impossible dreams kasi majority daw ng tao e ine-aim lang yung sa tingin nila e kaya nilang ma achieve, which is mediocrity.. kaya sa mediocre dreams, marami kang kompitensya at sa impossible dreams konti lang, so when it comes to numbers, mas mataas ang likelihood na maabot mo ang impossible dreamsn kesa sa mediocre dreams. gusto kong panghawakan ang concept na to.
started watching the apprentice asia season 1 in youtube, ewan ko kung bias lang ako pero episode 1 palang, i think jonathan was really quite promising na. but well, we know the ending. he was the champion.
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a lot on my plate still. bsp6 due in less than two weeks and i still cant find the inspiration to write anything, which is quite ironic because i am nothing but inspired right now. kung hindi ko masusulat to before friday, id be in trouble.
friday will be nini's wedding. im trying not to worry too much on how i can shed off kcon-acquired fats in just a few days, i wish lipo can be an option. lel.
Christening of injan's baby boy soon. im gonna be a ninang again. jeez.. gusto ko na namang magbenta ng body parts. haha. sighs..
sabi ni tim ferriss, instead of asking what you want, ask what are the things that excite you and find ways to do that. kung yun lang ang tanong sa tingin ko kayang kaya ko yong sagutin. learning things, meeting people and reading books. these are the things that make me feel so much alive and come to think of it, if these are the things im suppose to be doing in my life, then im already living it. nice right. i guess i wasnt doing so bad after all.
another thing. table topics and international speech contest due in january. this is what ive been waiting and preparing for the whole time since i joined toastmasters. i fear that i wont be able to write a piece in time for the club contest again just what had happen back in the contest for midcon. malulungkot ako kung hindi ako makakasali sa inspirational speech contest this year. ayoko ng table topics. at dahil delusional na tao naman talaga ko, pangarap ko talagang maging world champion.. pano ko kaya gagawin to kung pagsulat palang ng bsp6 ko e hirap na hirap na ko..
pero kahit ano pa man.. masaya ako kasi meron akong ganitong mga pangarap...
04:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Just texted nini and asked if R's invited and it's a 'yes'.
....
Takte, bat hindi ako nag diet??!!!
Just a couple of days to go. Was texting shara and learned that she's pregnant with her 2nd child.
Nini's getting married.
Shara's once again pregnant.
And everyone else seems to be getting engaged.
Younger cousins who were babies not so long ago were now having babies. People who were once married were now having their second marriages (hey, give chance to others!!).
Our idea of get together are now weddings, Christenings and baby showers. Seriously.
As much as I don't want to, it's hard not to be sad or bitter about all these. I mean, God... what about me???
10:03 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Nini's response when I asked her if R's invited was really vague. I can't believe she didn't invite R despite him being one of our closest friends. Despite Shara telling her to replace my supposed partner in the entourage with R because the original guy couldn't come. It would have been perfect if it was R whom I walked with, with my arm wrapped up in his elbow (in fairness to the man I actually walked with though, he was nice and really courteous). But well, that's her wedding, so she has all the right to do so. Still, I couldn't understand... Why, Nini?
Great day just passed. I got to the hotel Nini booked for us and was surprised that it was an executive suite. Grabe, yayamanin. And the view was spectacular. I swear I can live there forever.
I also got to meet and hang out with the other bridesmaids and also Nini's sister and we were instant hit. I wonder of Nini noticed how much I changed. I remember she used to lecture me for being antisocial. I also got to exchange a few talk with some of the grooms men. Weird, it seems like I just woke up and people don't seem so scary anymore. I must say I like being like this.
So there. Another major event is over. Next would be our club's yearend party. It's like a normal tm party only will dinner and raffle. I'm supposed to be one of the speakers and I'm getting really panicky right now because I'm yet to right anything. I invited Yang and esteff and said they are coming. I hope they will get to love and enjoy our club as much as I do.
Still sad that I wasn't able to see R. With most of our common friends already married, I wonder how else can i find an excuse to see him again. In a Christening, maybe. But that usually happen in a Sunday. He was never available in Sunday.
A thought just hit me though. If I will one day find out that R is marrying someone else, will I die? I can still remember how I felt when I thought he was liking shara...
01:07 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
before your heart race upon seeing a booksale announcement, remember that you're on a low-fiction diet. jeez.-
another month that's critical to the budget. sana pwede ibenta ang body fats.
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was so relieved for finishing my bsp 6 i forgot i have to memorize it too.
last meeting for 2016/yearend party of our club this coming fri. ill be bringing yang and esteff along. this is the first time ill be bringing real life friends in our club. plus, i would be one of the speakers..mejo parang nakakajahe...
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feel like ive been living in autopilot again. i feel excited upon thinking about my plan. i guess the real problem is that i have the knack of getting stuck into thinking.
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was watching some movie at the pantry earlier. a character said, "other people can say bad things about you, but do not say bad things about yourself." this served as a beautiful reminder.
i am now set out to make myself my number 1 ally.
02:26 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
