Saturday, April 7, 2018

No to "ok lang"

I was feeling so bad yesterday that i visited the chap twice and lighted 4 candles.

Everytime i ask something from the Heavens, I often say "ok lang po kung hindi mo ibigay, basta..." Kahit na most of the time, hindi naman talaga ok. Siguro may part saken na ayaw pangunahan ang Langit, but I think maybe the Father would rather have my honesty.

Lord, hindi po ok kung mawawala sya saken at mapupunta sya sa iba, so please don't make it happen.

There. Said it.

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TM night yesterday. I was hoping to have a drink with the girls to at least flush off the bad feelings. Good thing, i didn't have to ask because bea invited and said it's her treat. We drank and ate at Nommu and Doc Trina was even with us. Nakakatuwa. I love these people.

The only thing that makes me sad about not being an officer anymore is that i wont be able to have an excuse to hang out with them, but then maybe that doesn't have to happen because I'm still a member and they're still my friends. Di ba? I think I'm starting to find that relieved feeling i was hoping to feel before.

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"Z**, hindi nga, may gusto sayo si ***"

"Pano pag ligawan ka ni ***, Z?"

The boy and i had been talking. He reports what's happening to his life and his plans, and I do the same. If he doesn't stand a chance, he should've been rejected a long time ago. But to date, he had never received a single rejection from me. The guy's smart. I'm pretty sure he gets that. If he really likes me, he should've told me already.

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I received an invitation to be a guest speaker in some university. My intestines were screeming "No!" But my fingers typed, "Sure. Please send me the details."

I didn't do so well the last time I became a guest speaker in this other University, that I don't really feel confident that I'll be able to pull it off this time. Still, I want to give it a try para no regrets. Sabi ni Jay, she'll help me day. I love that girl so much, I'm really happy. Still, I just wish the she could just lend me her public speaking skills even just for a day because this whole idea is making my stomach churn already.

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I feel a whole lot better now but I don't understand why I still can't eat.


Written by cinderellaareus at 11:22 AM.

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