Friday: May 4, 2018

Outside my room, the birds chirp.

I love this kind of silence.

This is the 2nd day of my 4-days long, long weekend. The past day had been ordinary so far, and for some reason, I'm so happy.

Kaitlyn's in Cavite with her Mom and they will be staying there for about a month. It's been a while since the house had been this silent. I wonder if it's normal for a human being to love silence this much. But don't get me wrong, I also love having my niece around.

I had another customer again yesterday. Nakakatuwa, ang dami nyang inorder. I should've earned more, but I realized that more than their money, I want to gain their trust. I hope that through this, I could build lasting relationships with my customers.

Tomorrow,  I will have to see the suppliers again to buy orders and replenish my stock. This means I'll be killing thousands of peso again and by Monday, wala na naman akong pamasahe. Thank you very much. Lol.

Naalala ko yung sabi ni Tim Ferriss na "scratch your own itch". Something like, mag benta ka ng bagay na willing at gustong gusto mo ring bilhin. This same principle worked for Jer, and he hadn't even read Tim Ferriss yet (I think).

I'm aching for a decent watch lately. Yung branded, brand new at original. The only decent watch I have is the one that Mom gave me for my birthday last year. It's gold in color. Gusto ko rin ng silver since most of my accessories are silver. Been searching FB for it for days now kahit hindi naman talaga ko bibili. Ang dami kong nakitang maganda, ang sakit sa puso. Since I am yet to meet my suppliers, sa ngayon, afford ko pa. Can you imagine how much self-control it requires to prevent myself from buying these watches? 

I wonder if I should make branded watches my next business venture. Mag-iipon ako ng puhunan para dito <3.

Sighs... gusto ko talaga ng magandang relo.


Wala akong pasok sa work ngayon so I'm at home in Bulacan, but later, I will commute 3 hours (6 hours back and fort) to attend a 2.5 hours long TM meeting na pwede ko namang hindi puntahan. 

I think we really make time for the things that matter to us, don't we?

After tonight, 2 more regular meetings yet and I'll be free from my responsibilities as our club's VPE. Na realized ko na ang downside pala nito e wala nang pampaganda ng speaker's profile ko for my future speaking gigs (na sana dumating, and pag dumating, sana ready ako at hindi kakaba kaba ulet).

Maybe I'd try my luck in running as the president next year for that purpose. If maayos na ang buhay ko then, I will do that. Kahit manganpanya pa ko. Haha. May boboto kaya saken?

Sana nga, maayos na ang buhay ko by then. Konting kapit pa siguro.


We did some food tasting for our club anniv on May 18. Prior the agreed meeting time, LA and I met. As usual, we had a girl talk. Sabi nya, sinubukan nya daw i-evaluate kung ano ba ang passion nya sa buhay at nalaman nyang ito daw ay ang "magmahal". Na surprised ako sa sagot ni LA kasi I thought, she's just like me. Chill. Pero hindi pala. Listening to her story about her hopes and hurts felt like seeing a totally different world from my own.

Paano mo ba iko-comfort ang tao tungkol sa bagay na hindi mo naman talaga naiintindihan?

For a while I started having doubts about my ability to love. Ang lalim kasi magmahal ni LA. Para syang ocean, tas ako yung puddle sa tag-araw na malapit na malapit nang matuyo.

I don't think this has anything to do with what I experienced in relation to loving people, because for as long as I can remember, I've always been like this. Detached.

Pero narealized ko na siguro sadyang iba iba lang ang mga tao. That's why we love differently as well. The way I love maybe shallow compared to how LA does, but it doesn't mean na hindi totoo ang pagmamahal ko. Ang weird na bothered na bothered talaga ako dito. Lol.

Feeling ko kasi the lack of the ability to love is the worst handicap. Hindi ako papayag na may ganun akong klaseng disability.

Naniniwala ako na hindi ang depth ng love ang magpapatunay ng authenticity nito, kundi yung little parts of you na binibigay mo CONSISTENTLY to nurture that love and sustain it till the end.

Balang araw, patutunayan kong tama ako.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:30 AM.

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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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