Please don't panic, please don't panic
Tuesday: August 14, 2018



I asked the Heavens for the rain to stop. Mejo maulan pa pero nakapasok na ko. Putek, ano ba pinaggagawa ko kahapon?

Nakita ko announcement sa FB na ready na daw ang club namin for the Filipino Speech Contest. I remember I'm supposed to back up our initially agreed contestant after he begged off. And boy, I'm so far from ready. Pak, ano ngang pinaggagagawa ko kahapon?

I was home. I think I just spent the day sleeping, eating, repotting my plants, reading posts and articles in facebook about plants and so on. Hindi man lang ako nag attempt gumawa ng speech. Juicecolored!

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I rewatched Jane's reading for August. For some reason, it no longer resonate as much as it did the first time. 

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko forte ang magmultitask. Kaya pag marami akong nararamdaman, nadidisorient ako. Sa tingin ko, wala namang hurt. Fear lang. Regret. Sadness. Mga ganun. Naisip ko rin na if mabibigyan ako ng power to snatch the boy back, hindi ko rin naman gagawin. In the end of the day, I also want him to be happy.

Napansin ko lang rin na inuulit ulit ko lang yung mga situation ko sa buhay. I want to focus on making sure that this won't happen again especially because my recent situation is starting to look like it's heading to that same direction. 

Fear. Regret. Sadness. Ihalo mo pa yung panic na nafifeel ko about the contest. Pero siguro, katulad ng ulan, huhupa rin naman to.

Tag-ulan man ngayon, the sun will soon rise up. And when that time comes, siguro may bulaklak na yung mga alaga kong jade at cactus. Magiging okay din ang lahat.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:50 AM.

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