Asanebo
月曜日: February 18, 2019



Hello Monday!

I'm supposed to wake up at 3am today to get to the office before 7am. Great, I just woke up. It's 7:14.

I spent the day yesterday sleeping everywhere I went; at Tito's couch, bus seats, our sofa and so on. I'm used to having very little sleep. I don't know why I felt so sleep deprived.

It was a bonding weekend with the girls. We booked a place around QC where we just slept, ate and watched movies. I didn't know that two of our guy friends will join us. The clothes I brought were thin and short and I brought very few bras. I just find it funny when the guys left for awhile for the day's engagement, Bea was like "tatanggalin ko na yung bra ko." Lol.

Gay guys they may be, but I guess I'm not the only one who still see them as men.

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If I had known that people will ask about you in the future, I wouldn't have immortalized you in my speeches. That's one regret I have. I wonder if I should just deny your existence  just so people will stop asking questions. 

I just want you to leave my life silently, completely and without causing me so much hassle.

If being given a choice between the easy and the difficult, which one will you choose?

I will always, always choose the most convenient. 

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"Wag mo na asarin si Z, marupok yan."

He said the same thing back when we were with Sasi. I wonder what makes him think that way. I also wonder if he's right. Right now, I don't think so.

Surely, I get easily fascinated. But as to liking, there are very few people I've ended up liking for these past 3 years. Well you can't add Park Si Hoo, Lee Min Ho, Gong Yu, Lee Seung Gi, Taron Egerton, Tom Holland, Chris Hemsworth,  Chris Evans, Tom Hiddleston, (the list is too long), and the others to that. They're not real people.

The real people I liked are very few. I think I only had two.

And they like eachother.

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18 days before bff's wedding. Man, how did I get this fat? I tried my gown on last night. It barely fit. I looked pregnant. Lol. Who cares. My beautiful skin can more than compensate. 

Who am I fooling? Lol.

Bff chose violet for me. The rest of her bridesmaids will be wearing Lilac. When I complained why I wouldn't get to wear the same pretty color, she just said, "maputi ka naman."

Though the color looked quite nice, I think bff failed to consider that she will be sending me to the resort the day before the wedding and I'll be swimming my hearts out and by the time her wedding came, malamang negneg na ko. Sana hindi ako magmukhang inihaw na talong. Lol.

Sa totoo lang, ok lang naman. My entire family will be there. I'm  too excited to care much about how I'd look like. And besides, bff said walang masyadong single na lalaki dun, so ok lang. Ang sarap lang kasing mag reklamo just to annoy the people close to your heart, lalo na't alam mo na di naman sila magagalit. I remember during Nini's wedding I told her na gusto ko yung gown ko nakatago yung braso ko at di kita legs ko. She complied down to my last specification.

I'm happy that my friends found amazing men to be their forever partner. Someone once asked kung hindi daw ba ako naiinggit and the answer is no. I often wonder if that's normal, but I'm glad I'm not.

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Someone was lecturing me about clarity just a few weeks ago. 

I hate questions and clarity requires so much asking and I hate that. Pero alam ko rin na without it, I'll blindly let the days drag by without knowing exactly where I want to go. It's like living life just to get over it until it's actually over. Masaya ba yun? I remember what Aggy said during the Anything-goes: have a goal, but keep an open mind. Siguro dapat ganun.

Do your best, and then let go.

.

.

Okay, it's time to ask questions. Boy, I'd rather sleep.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:29 AM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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