Sorosoro kaishi
金曜日: July 14, 2019



Feels like a jobless weekday today. My brother's out to pick my niece from Cavite, it took me some time to realize that, 'wait, today is Sunday!' and 'no, you're no longer jobless'.

I don't feel so high and happy today. No particular reason. I just don't. Maybe that's okay.

Natuwa ako sa napanood ko sa Sacred Sky. The seer said something like, "it's true that it is in darkness that we can create and become creative, but you have to realize that you don't have to stay there. YOU CAN ALSO CREATE IN THE LIGHT. And there's clarity the light can provide that the darkness couldn't."

It took me some time, and I've faught so many battles. But now I can feel like I'm no longer drawn to the darkness and it's such a relief. I don't know if one can really continue to be an artist even after leaving the darkness. But if not, then so be it. I don't really mind being normal. I think 'average' is underrated. All fine.

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At the orientation a few days back, I felt like I'm walking on eggshells at first. I wanted so much to blend in that I found myself downplaying everything abt myself just so people woundn't feel uncomfortable around me. I heard their story. I know we're different. But then I realized, "bakit?"

I think we shouldn't underestimate other people's ability to accept those who are different from them. I know this stems from my own difficulty in relating to those who are different from me. Siguro kailangan mo rin lang talagang subukan.

So I told them I'd be working as a j-bilingual. They had the idea right off about the possible pay. Of course, I didn't tell them. They said, "shala ka pala", so sabi ko, "hindi rin." In the end, ok naman. Sinabi ko rin na wala nga akong ipon, which is true. Baka nga better pa sila sakin on that department.

When they asked, I also told them I was an engineer doing bridge projects in Japan. Some of them gasped, but it didn't make them treat me like an alien afterwards. Siguro nga hindi talaga dapat natin i-underestimate ang kakayahan ng mga tao sa pagtanggap.

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I'll be meeting the account on Monday. Hindi naman kasi talaga ako masyadong friendly and it's making me a little anxious. I want all of us to be in good terms at the very least, pero ideally, sana maging friends ko sila. And I know friendship don't just happen... or does it?

Sh*t, I'm probably just being my control freak self again.

During the orientation, marami na kagad bagay akong na miss sa dati kong company. Una sa lahat, yung bidet. Kasi putek, red days ko kaya, hindi ba necessity naman talaga ang bidet?

Nung nag talk yung head ng facilities, I brought out the need for bidet. I felt like it raised the eyebrows of some people there and someone asked me, "wala naman talagang bidet normally, di ba?" It puzzled me because lahat ng pinanggalingan kong company may bidet. First world problem. I know right. But I don't plan to give it a rest hangga't hindi naglalagay ng bidet ang facilities. Hindi naman kailangan na sa lahat ng cubicle e. Kahit isa lang per floor. Ang mura mura lang nun e.

And I also miss the free wifi. Sabi ng kapatid ko, hindi naman daw talaga normal na may free wifi, and I was like, "bakit?"

Pero gets ko. Siguro dapat i-tone daw din ang kaartehan, dahil, hello, kapapasok ko lang dito.

When I started in my previous co, wala rin naman  bidet at wifi. So nung nagkaroon ng pa survey, I asked for bidet. I also asked for a full-length mirror sa cr. Both were provided a few days later. No, I didn't ask for free wifi. Maybe they're just feeling generous.

In fairness sa co na to, at least meron silang gym. Sana naman maglagay na rin sila ng bidet.

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Sighs. Ang gloomy ng araw na ito. Baka kailangan ko lang maligo. Nakakatamad. -_-



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:48 AM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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