Naiinis ako pag hindi niya ko kayang isupport emotionally, pero ayan ngayong siya yung nangangailangan, ayaw ko pala siyang isupport
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Written by chronicwind at 02:59 PM.
These days I'm alternating between two modes: extreme anxiety and extreme horniness. Mej kawawa si ldr fubu kasi at one point sobrang swerte niya, ang sipag ko magsend ng sexts tas bigla biglang i'll push him away, saying "dont expect much from me it'll be months before this whole thing is over" etc etc and ayoko replyan yung words of comfort nya
Yan, kaya di ako pwede jumowa eh
.
But ayun im privileged AF -- i dont have to worry abt food and a house and don't have to feed a family; it is only myself I have to take care of. Konti - as in sobrang konti - lang ang naimbak kong salapi; thankful na lang ako at hindi mahilig maningil ng rent si landlady. I can stretch what little I have until I guess abt a month? Tapos di ko na alam sizt
This is absolutely the wrong year to be out of employment anez?
Haay I hope we all make it
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Written by chronicwind at 05:07 PM.
Last friday, I went to this freelancer's meetup and in the introduce yourself part, I said i was there because I hope to be inspired.
As the afternoon went on, a fellow participant approached me and enthusiastically said she's a budding photographer and was inspired by my quitting-job-moving-to-duma story. Huh. Never thought that I would be the inspiration instead 
) We went on talking and geeking out and ended up being each other's accountability buddy. That interaction lifted my spirits and I needed that.
I've been feeling so low the past couple of weeks, and I have pinpointed the cause to be: having no money. I am behind on rent and it sucks. Buti na lang mabait si landlady. I've dwindled my savings to four digits and I am thinking what to sell to augment it. Ang hirap hirap gumalaw. I am now really considering jobs in the middle east, apparently maraming openings for photographers dun.
I am feeling apprehensive and down and impatient with myself. So, so impatient with myself. But this week was better than the last few weeks, so I guess, progress is progress.
Hindi na ako ganun kagalit sa sarili ko and that's a start.
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Written by chronicwind at 04:17 AM.
