A friend's suggestion and advise
My everyday life: January 22, 2018

Just when I finished, the boring housechores and started to study, a friend of mind texted and said he wanna see me and hang out. I got surprise because he said last year we'll meet up at March. I started panicking. I don't want to be disturbed right now and I don't want to see them. I wanted to tell them I'm busy and hang out some other time, but I couldn't. In the end, by the time that he's here along with another friend of mine we hangout outside. Treated me to some food and played at some comp site. 

Then they gave me advise. Told me I should I should look for another job while I practice my web development, then when the time's right, I should pursue my passion. They pointed about my age as well. I'm in my early 30's now. And that employers prefer younger people. Or younger have a better advantage probably because they are easier to train and learn then 'older' people. The being old part really bothered me. I couldn't disagree with them. They were right. They have a point. I've been doing this for years and nothing has happened. I gave it a thought. But in the end, I still not changing my plans for first 2-3 months to stay unemployed to study before I can apply. I want to do my best this 2018. I ask a few employers before about age limit, and they said there's none as long as your skills are good enough you can get hired. I am one stubborn guy.

And just when I'm very determine, my laptop's cooling fan made a loud noise before dying out on me. How damn convenient my situation is. The last replacement fan lasted 7 months. I was hoping the new one would give me a year, sadly, its the same. Just how weak this cooling fan is!? And yet its so expensive. I guess my laptop is telling me its need a replacement. I can easily think and choose on what model and specs to buy, but of course the problem is money. For now, I'm gonna ask my mom again for this. Dammit.

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Written by blueside2 at 02:12 AM.

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Looking back at December
: January 14, 2018

As I cleaned up the Christmas tree and decorations, I look back at December. Time goes by...I remember my frugal mom treating me to Greenwich on my birthday. I was planning to eat at Sbarro's but she commenting the servings is too small. I went along with her. One thing I don't like about is she seems to disregard my choice and look somewhere else as its her birthday instead of me. Then when I agreed to partake in Simbang gabi. Nine straight days of going to mass from 9pm-10pm. It was boring at first, the priest's sermons and story keeps me interested. The food in Christmas and New Year's eve were little compared to last year's because. The celebration feels gloomy as losing the father in the house still affects us. Mom is also frugal in spending the electricity, she don't like opening the Christmas lights everyday. For Christ's sakes, the holidays is only once a month and yet...Its was the worse time to be conserving electricity which made the atmosphere even gloomier. My older step brother arrived and stays at home today. Spent his Christmas with relatives in Manila, but spend his time in New Year at home. I just let him be. I still grieve and still feel negative thoughts and negative feelings attack me. I wanted to finish studying the web dev tutorials this month, but I failed. it sucks. Mom and I watched the live action version of the Beauty and the Beast. It was a really good movie. It takes me back in time during my childhood because I've watched the cartoon one before. Sadly, I wasn't able to watch the other movies I've downloaded and watch at Christmas day because mom was watching youtube at the computer and the speakers are too loud.

At New Year's eve, we prepared more food than Christmas as usual. Step bro arrived at January 1st to spend time here for days before going back to his work in the province. Before New Year's eve, I had the chance to go on to see the American styled homes with Christmas lights at Festival Mall which I missed during Christmas eve. I'm glad we can still prepared good food on the table during those special times.

Its a new year and a new look in life. I hope 2018 will be a good year compared to last year. It sucks I don't have money to buy what I want, so I'm hoping to finish my studies and get a job so I can buy stuff.

{ mood } calm

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Written by blueside2 at 04:07 PM.

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