sneak into here. i should be sleeping.
the storm had subsided somehow..im hoping for a dry day tomorrow. its gonna be friday!!Hhooooray!!
a lot of things happened. most of which, i just cant write here..maybe im just trying not to make things worse, but it all falls down to the same stuff..work stuff...hayyyst..ang gulo gulo..gumugulo pa lalo. ang bleak parin ng future for me.. pero sa ngayon gusto kong maniwala na everything happens for the best...tapos bahala na.
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was chatting with former colleagues from my 1st co. pati sa kanila parang ang dami na ring nagbago. siguro minsan, kaylangan mo lang maging brave enough to take that 1st step towards change and everything else will just follow. siguro, ewan ko. tama, marami akong pinanghihinayan pero sa tingin ko hindi parin ako nagsisisi. sabi noon ni jane, hindi ko daw malalaman kung hindi ko susubukan. kaya ngayon, nasubukan ko na ..alam ko na.. at least may isa na naeliminate sa sangkaterbang listahan ng what ifs sa buhay ko.
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know what, nini texted me yesterday about lu giving birth. hindi ka nga talaga kayang saktan ng mga taong hindi mahalaga sayo. naalala ko lang yung baby shoes...yung promise..yung wish..nasan na ba yon.. hindi ko maisip kung baket nagawa ni lu yung ganito. na bigla nalang wala lang. ganun lang. hindi ko maisip..kasi kahet anong tumbling ang gawin ko sa tingin ko hindi ko magagawa yung ganun nalang sa mga taong nakasama ko.ewan ko.. shet..ayoko na nga..
sa totoo nyan, konti lang talaga ang mga kaibigan ko. siguro, gusto ko lang na ikeep silang lahat. pero alam ko namang may sarili din silang buhay. sariling issue. sariling choice. i remember how jenna reacted to these back then. i wonder how she'd react now. but jenna is a woman of pride. i can imagine her brush this whole thing off with indifference..sighs..ewan ko. nalulungkot parin ako. sya lang naman kasi yung ganun..baket sya lang naman nakaisip nang ganun..ewan ko..
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jguy2 was sent to the hospital yesterday. hindi ko sya masyadong makausap ngayon. i feel like the training will last forever na this time..jeez..ano bang gagawin ko? i was on my own for like half of the day yesterday. i messed up big time, but i learned a lot. got to be with the other morning people. ate lunch with them..talked with them..all in all, naging masaya din..but as expected from a typical japanese, jguy2 went back to work by afternoon. i know the mess i made while he was out will cause him so much trouble. the emails he sent today consist mostly of sorries to our clients. sorries for the mess ive made..i know i should have been the one to make those sorries. know what, in my life, i was used to doing my own thing. cleaning my own mess. fixing things by myself. and now, with them (him and jguy1) around to fix things, it just cant feel right. i do not feel productive at all. sighs.. ano bang pwede kong gawin..
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father m were inviting people to wear white and go to luneta on mon for an advocacy.. yung sa pork barrel issue ata yun kay napoles, something, i dont know. everytime that father mario is talking things related to issues against powerful and rich people, kinakabahan ako. siguro masyado lang akong nanonood ngtelenovela, pero, sana naman, hindi nya maipahamak ang sarili nya.
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random kung random lang..
eto nalng muna
grabe, antok na antok na talaga ko..
good night..
08:55 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
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