Haru-chan
水曜日: May 18, 2022



Meguri, my former JP boss from prev company, sent me a message saying that he's now working in the same company as mine, only, he's in Yokohama. 

I owe so much to that guy. He helped me a lot, and kept helping me even long after he left the company,  and even after I also left the company myself. It appears like we'll be having the same job. It's weird to be the sempai of my former boss.

He's as friendly as ever. I told him that he can ask me anytime about work as I hope to be able to help him this time around. Sa totoo lang, sobrang laking blessing sakin ng taong yun. I don't think I can ever do enough to repay his kindness. I hope he'll get to be friends with my other teammates as well. He's super friendly. I'm pretty sure he'll get to like my teammates. Partly e para hindi ako lang yung kinukulit nya. Haha. I'm more that willing to help him out with work, but his kwento can go on forever, so it will be better he'll have othet people to chat with.

Naisip ko lang... sablay man madalas ang love life ko, nabless naman ako ng universe ng mga amazing na tao like Meguri around me. Alam kong maiirita na naman ako sa haba ng mga kwento nya at mga kulang sa hulog na banat, but I'm still glad having Meguri around again.

------------‐-------------------

I like that kiddo. We only get to meet 3x a week as we have different rest days. Heck, I didn't even see him last Monday eventhough we were both on-shift (was glued on my PC as there was an outtage that affected a lot of JP users).

Jeez, how can I get closer?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:31 PM.

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Ki ni natteru
日曜日: May 15, 2022



He was waving goodbye while leaning forward. Ang cute nya! Para syang anime! Bet na bet ko talaga this kiddo.

I should've waited a bit at the elevator. I really enjoy our mini conversations, I want to get to know more about him.

Said we're transferring building. Someone said, baka di daw kasama ang PDT. I hope that's not true.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:24 PM.

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Not Bad
土曜日: May 14, 2022



Leave office at 6. Get home by 8. dinner and evening rituals for 2 hours and around 10pm, I'll be in bed, with the alarm set at 5AM.

But this closet fujoshi cannot possibly end the day without having her daily dose of BL. I read 5-6 chapters before I sleep. I always lack sleep, but that's fine.

Life's pretty simple these days. It's not bad. It's not the best, but not bad.

Work is easy. Officemates are nice. Pay is good. Not bad.

Still, there is that "okay, ano na" feeling.

Okay. Ano na?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:10 AM.

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Gee
水曜日: May 11, 2022



Diode sched today. Armpits can finally breathe, though only for about 3 days, maybe. Then, another 6 weeks to the next session.

Still plagued with this growing dissatisfaction. 

An officemate introduced me to this online shopping app for clothes. I want to try different outfits. Denim pants are a pain in this heat. I tried out clothes after the diode session today, I didn't like any.

I felt like I've lost a few inches off my waistline. I want to lose more. I haven't heard from Mel regarding the plan to travel somewhere. She works for one of the leading TV Networks in PH. She must be busy, with the election and all.

I miss being busy. Though I barely have time for anything as I spend most of my waking hours with work and daily commute, I still miss actually being busy on more meaningful stuff.

The world is starting to go back to normal. I heard the face to face classes will start on Monday. I miss the action and the fun. I want to go back and do more.

I remember the conversation I had with some my workmates who were also on a weekend shift. I told them how different they are from my usual circle and on how I find it interesting. 

I feel like there's so much to discover. About ourselves, about other people, about the world. Sobrang dami.

I know the cause of my dissatisfaction. I want to end this as soon as possible. I feel like getting this will complicate things and may prevent me from my desire to discover... I hope not. I hate restraint.

I hate restraint...

I hate... jeez, I just remember, Marcos is winning the presidential race.

I'm sad. Also a little scared. I understand that it can't be helped as this is how democracy works. 

I remember in a management book I've read before. Said if you were to hire someone with questionable character, you have to make sure that he's super lazy and stupid. It would be great if he's actually lazy and stupid. We'll just have to wait until his term is over and hope that another chance for a better governance will come. 

Night of the election, I was looking at the wall of our kitchen, contemplating if migrating elsewhere will be a good idea.

What's the worst to happen?

I'm not scared of dying. I don't want my family to die. And I hate restraint. I HATE RESTRAINT. 

I hate it. I hate it so much. Tangina. He better be lazy and stupid. Sighs.

Okay. Let's calm down. I want to focus on the things that are within my control. I've just been slacking off all these time though.

I've been reading too much BL, I sometimes forget straight men exist.  Haha! Oh wait, do they?

Gah! I've got so much to do.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:35 PM.

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This Is It
日曜日: May 8, 2022



Nakasabay ko pauwi yung cute kiddo from pdt. Technically, hanggang sa exit ng building lang. Same pala kami ng sched. Learned that he's also voting for Leni. 

Moment of truth na tomorrow. Feeling ko hindi sya mananalo. Sana mali ako. Good luck talaga sa Pilipinas.

Sighs. Bahala ka na, Universe.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:04 PM.

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Pig
金曜日: May 6, 2022



My leg hurts. I took a leave. I think I ran out of SLs already. I regret that I took a lot of SLs when I was working from home. I should've gone to work, if only I can walk properly.

After 2 years of not wearing pants, I started wearing it last Sunday when I had my RTO. It must be the cause of this painful bump on my upper leg. It's on the inner side, it hurts when bumped with my other leg. It has gotten bigger and more painful as days go by. Even sitting on the toilet is painful. Today, it has gotten worse, I find it hard to walk.

Boils, according to the doc. I asked if there's a way to cure it sooner as I need to get back to work tomorrow. Doc said it will take at least a week, even with medicine. So much longer if without. I said it would be hard to go to work as I'll need to walk, and it rubs with my other leg. Doc told me go use gauze. I tried it earlier, and it's doing very little to ease the pain. Tokwabels.

I can tolerate the pain, but my walking will look funny. Tokwabels ulet.

-----

Still not getting used with the commute. I sleep around 6 hours daily. I used to have so much less sleep, pero ngayon, sobrang level up yung pagod. The commute on the way back home yesterday was particularly hellish, lagpas isang MRT station yung haba ng nilakad ko just to ride a bus. Gusto ko na magka kotse. Ayoko mag drive. Gusto ko na yumaman.

Said we'll be transferring building soon. Pretty near the area. Sana maganda yung office. They're keeping the old building. We're just expanding, I guess. 

-----

Nothing interesting. I also need network expansion.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:58 PM.

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Tsukareta
月曜日: May 2, 2022



Started RTO yesterday. My arms and body are hurting from carrying my work laptop and monitor from Bulacan to QC. I'm on my day off today and tomorrow. Starting next week, my rest days will be Tuesday and Wednesday. I miss my Thur-Fri off.

My elder cats seem to have missed me a little. My male cat, Hamanya, rushed towards me upon hearing my voice when I got home. And Nicai, allowed me to cuddle her a little longer than usual. Iya had always been sweet and needy, so nothing seem to have changed. And then the kittens were totally indifferent about my absence. 

I miss my cats. I usually cuddle and play with them during breaks when I was working from home. My male cat seemed to be having sepanx, Mom said he kept looking for me in our room where I used to work.

On Wednesday, I'll be back to work. I'm not thrilled. Oh well. Must be nice if I meet someone. I miss having one-sided crushes. Lol.

We have a lot of new hires we've never met before. A few of them were chatting with me via Teams and Messenger. I've met one yesterday. I can't see his face because of the mask, but his eyes look nice, and his brows were beautifully thick. I've checked his FB before, I know his face is beautiful. Sobrang bata nga lang. We just exchanged a few hello's. Anlayo rin kasi ng seat nya.

Bawal sa company namin makipag jowa among co-workers. Still nice to have an eye candy though.

Gah, all the sacrifices of having to commute and wake up early again will all be worth it if only I'll meet someone! Seriously. 

If face to face meeting will resume, I'll go back to TM. Partly in the hope of meeting someone, partly because I also want to spend time with like-minded people, meron or wala mang malisyang involved.

Just woke up from a nap. I didn't expect to feel this worn out after my first commute to work in 2 years.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:20 PM.

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Fukusatsu
木曜日: April 28, 2022



Battling over whether to buy a wrist watch or not. I like those plastic ones, like baby g's. Looks like g-shock but not as expensive. I wonder if I should buy a g-shock instead. RTO starts on Sunday. I need a watch.

I remember years ago, I had a JP interpreter gig in one of Casio G-shock's events. I met the G-shock inventor, Sir Kikuo Ibe. He was so nice and humble, as expected from a Japanese. Funny though, the event was Casio, and one of Ibe-san's attendants jokingly mentioned that my jissho was Sharp and not Casio. LOL. It got me pretty embarrassed, but I was glad they were all good-natured people.

Should I buy a G-shock? Namiss ko bigla si Ibe-san. I still have his calling card.

Mom bought me Seiko 5 watch as a gift for my birthday years back. It was around 5k then. Now it costs around 8k. Mom said I shouldn't wear it outside as it might get snatched. I feel like it's such a waste having this watch and not being able to wear it. Maybe Mom was just exaggerating. I mean, if you're holding a cellphone worth 8k, I don't think anyone will bother snatching something that cheap.

I'll probably just wear my Seiko 5. It's just annoying that if you stop wearing it for a few hours, the time will stop moving also. I mean, it's nice that I will never need to replace the battery for life, but it's still a hassle that it keeps on stopping on certain conditions. 

Gusto ko ng G-shock. 

---‐

Mel and I are planning to go on vacay by June. It's been a long time since I went out. Mel's a cowboy adventurous type. I am the lazy and extremely maarte type. I think I can somehow adjust sa mga trip nya. Afterall, she always adjusts for my food preferences. She asked if I'm okay sleeping on a tent. I told her I prefer a bedroom with AC, but I'm willing to try.

Kinakabahan ako sa tent. Sana hindi malamok at walang ahas. Sana may ma meet kaming pogi. Haha!

----

Checked Casio's Flagship store in Shopee. Apparently, most G-shock watches are even pricier than a Seiko 5. Will it get snached if I buy one? Is this even pawnable? 

I remember when Sir Kikuo Ibe was having a tour here in the Philippines. They launched a limited-edition Pinoy themed G-shock watch. It looked so nice, Partner and I were hoping to get one as freebie. Sadly, we didn't. I didn't find anything similar on the Casio shop.

Must be nice to have a G-shock. 'Guess will just buy it later, pag mayaman na mayaman na ko.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:30 PM.

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Mushi
月曜日: April 25, 2022



Must be a side effect of BL love bug. Guess I'll allow myself to write this uber mushy thoughts. Lol.

See, I've always thought that the concept of "closure" is all bs...

I'm 100% sure that I no longer feel the same way now. But it surely bug me why it was so much easier for me to forget everyone else, but you.

Gah! I hate that line!

It's more than a decade too late. I still remember the desperate look on your face when you were holding onto my wrist, asking me to stay.

Again, I'm 100% sure I no longer feel the same way. I guess I've been bothered because of the things that you said. Or how you've gotten a lot of things wrong. Or on how I didn't bother to correct all the misunderstandings.

Your feelings had long been reciprocated. Sorry, I didn't tell you. 

It had always been mutual. Sorry, I didn't let you know.

I was happy whenever you gave me gifts. I was just too embassarassed to say thank you. Sorry.

When you asked if I was happy being the reason of someone else's pain, I thought those were just your baseless accusations. Sorry, it took me some time to get where you were coming from. I should've told you. I should've corrected. Sorry. 

Oh gawd, this is pointless. I just don't know where to put all these long overdued apologies knowing it will never reach you. It's pointless.

But maybe I'll just use this dissatisfaction as a lesson never to do the same mistake again. I want to happily move forward without having to carry all these.

Ok. Stop na.

-------

Skipped work today. My stomach hurts. Boss didn't reply. Bahala na.

Few days to rto. Thinking about this is giving me insomnia, I can't explain why.

In a way, I think I also want to go out and see the world again. Pero kasi... can't I really do that at home?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:20 PM.

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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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