土曜日: April 17, 2021



Spent my rest days sick.

My head was hurting, may ubo at sipon, at ang pinakanakakainis sa lahat e may pimple near my right nostril kaya ang hirap magpunas ng sipon. Lol. TMI. Everytime na nasasangga ko to, gumuguhit ang sakit along my  nose, up to my forehead paikot sa batok. Maybe that was why I felt more sick that I actually was.

I hate getting sick. Especially at a time like this. I did all possible measures to get well based sa recommendation ng isang biochemist na natagpuan ko sa Earthclinic. The recommendations are far from normal. At times, I feel like I'm poisoning myself, but judging from how I got well after 2 days instead of the usual 2 weeks without meds, or a week with it, sa tingin ko magaling talaga sya. Also, I have ailments that the doctors were not able to cure, pero napagaling ng mga recommendations nya. Ang the items I need are always low cost, sometimes we already have at home.

He hasn't been on EarthClinic for years though. The last time I heard, he had stroke ata. Heard he has gotten better pero hindi pa rin sya bumabalik sa EC. I wonder what he'll recommend for COVID. I took notes on his recommendations for Ebola, Sars and bird flu. I'm taking some on preventive level.

Parang gusto ko tuloy mag aral ng biochem. Habang online pa lahat ng classes, I think this should be the best time.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:35 PM.

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Dp
水曜日: April 14, 2021



Still feel sick, pero pumasok parin ako sa trabaho. Many times during the day, I thought of taking a half day leave, or an undertime, pero naisip kong tapusin nalang ang shift ko. Sayang ang sahod.

Umaabot pala ng milyon ang hospitalization ng mga taong may COVID. May mga tao palang piniling magpakamatay para hindi mabaon sa utang ang pamilyang maiiwan nila.

Napaisip tuloy ako kung magkano ba lahat ng pera ko na naka invest sa kung saan saan...

Days are hard.

And seeing how so much of an asshole your country's president is, is not helping one bit. I still haven't properly mourn for my lost cat, who was probably killed in a cat fight, or something else. I don't know.

Also, I feel so unloved at a time like this that I'm sick.

Dad seems to love me though. He's the only one who do. I think that should be enough, right?

I'm going to ge better tomorrow. Things are going to be so much better.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:43 PM.

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Byouki
火曜日: April 13, 2021



Skipped work today as I'm not feeling well. Throat hurts. Plan to spend the day sleeping.

Everyone in the family has colds also. The 1st one to get better was surprisingly our youngest-- my 11 month old nephew. I feel like it's the 1st time I've seen a kiddo eating broccoli like it's chocolate. He also drinks a lot of water. Probably that's why.

Been feeling tired these days. It's hard to complain when there are people who are worse off. My TL said he won't be around for at least 14 days. I wonder if he has COVID. He sent a picture of him with a tube like thingy connecting his nose to... idk, maybe an oxygen tank? He looked really sick. Nakakaawa rin talaga. Sana gumaling na sya. Nakakatakot rin kasi, hindi pa nga namin sya nami meet tas bigla nalang syang mawawala. Ang pangit sa feeling nung ganun. 

----‐‐

I want to feel positive and all light and bubbly. Pero there are days talaga na mahirap gawin yun, no? 

I feel so down today. I also happen to be physically sick at the moment. I think the best thing to do is to hang on, keep going, and believe that the following days will be so much better. 

Isang mahigpit na yakap sa lahat nang hindi masyadong happy!



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:06 PM.

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Oh night divine
土曜日: April 10, 2021



On an emotional low today. Alam mo ba, I told my divorcee friend who seeks to find a new love na divine mercy feast bukas at bubuksan ng Langit ang floodgate ng Kanyang mercy, kaya sabi ko, ipagdasal nyang magka lovelife. Sabi nya 12mn palang magdadasal na sya. lol.

I've been feeling exceptionally low today. Sa totoo lang, masyadong magulo ang isip ko para humanap ng love life. 

I want to have my own place soon. Maybe Dad will come with me. He's equally sick of this too. I don't know if Mom will. And of course, I probably can't afford just yet. Or maybe I can, but that would mean that I need to go back from scratch sa pagpupundar para sa future ko. Siguro konting tiis pa.

Basta. Bahala na.

May sakit pala ang TL namin. Kaya pala ang quiet nya sa GC. Hope it's nothing serious. I'd probably add this to my Feast of Divine Mercy list. And to check if magkakatotoo nga, I think I should write it down here:

1. Healthy, wealthy, long and happy life for me, mama, papa, and the rest of my family, kasama ang cats, kittens and dogs namin.

2. Makauwi na samin ng safe and healthy si Jiufen at Gen-gen agad agad.

3. Mag thrive kami ng aking pamilya sa kabila ng pandemic.

4. Manatili kaming ligtas sa alin mang sakuna at kalamidad. Mailayo kami sa lahat ng masama.

5. Patuloy at higit pa kaming kumita ng mas marami pang pera. Gusto kong magkaraoon ng net passive income na 2 million pesos per month.

6. Sana makasama ko pa sila mama at papa nang matagal hanggang sa may asawa na si Kaitlyn and beyond.

7. Sana maging laging in good terms ako sa mga kasama at nakakasalamuha ko sa trabaho. Sana lalo pa ako mapalapit sa kanila at mapamahal sa trabaho ko. Sana I'll get to keep this job as long as I want, at lalo pang lumaki ang sweldo ko at dumali ang trabaho.

8. Sana lumaking healthy at happy at mababait ang lahat ng mga pusa ko. Sana wag silang mawala sakin at manatili silang safe lagi.

9. Sana mapuno ng love, joy, peace at harmony ang aming family.

10. That I'll always feel loved, favored and well taken care of kahit ano pa ang relationship status ko.

11. Ma reclaim ng Pilipinas ang lahat ng aming isla, at mailuklok sa posisyon lahat ng best people, and best people only, para sa posisyon.

12. Patuloy nyo po kaming gabayan, protektahan at alagaan araw araw—ako, ang aking pamilya, kasama ang mga tao at hayop na mahalaga sa akin.

13. Sana walang calls at chats the whole day today and tomorrow.

14. Maging sobrang galing ako sa nihongo, native level.

15. Complete healing for TL Allan.

Well, let's see...

--------

Alam mo ba, bilib na bilib ako kay VP Leni. Grabe kasi sobrang... she's such a rare gem in politics. Same with Vico Sotto. It's been a long while since we had leaders like these. Sana naman mabigyan ng chance ang Pilipinas to have a person like her to be the highest leader in the country.

Sana talaga.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:16 PM.

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Kurushi
土曜日: April 10, 2021



My heart hurts.

Tomorrow will be the Feast of Divine Mercy. Sabi bubuksan daw ang floodgates of Mercy ng Langit sa araw na ito.

Sana maawa ang Langit at ibalik nya sakin ang pusa ko. Mga pusa, including Gen-gen.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:37 PM.

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Neko
金曜日: April 9, 2021



It's been a few days. I still haven't found my eldest cat. One of the community cats I've been taking care of is also missing. I've sent messages to the relatives and neighbors to ask they if they've seen black white cats around their area. Waley. Nag post na rin ako sa FB page ng baranggay namin, at nagsend din ako sa message ng dog pound (they used to catch cats). Sa dog pound daw, wala. Hinahantay ko pang may mag react sa post ko sa baranggay.

I've been doing mini searches around the neighborhood since yesterday. Sometimes I wish I have a seer-like ability to find the missing. 

Gutom na siguro yung pusa ko. Huhu. Sa paghahanap ko kanina, may nakasalubong akong skeletal-thin dog na may collar at leash pa. Mukhang nakawala..natatakot ako na maging ganun ang pusa ko.

I have a stock of premium cat food for my cat. Maarte syang kumain. I've been feeding some of his food to the strays. Yung tira ng mga kuting na masisira lang pag kinabukasan pa makain. Nakakainis na I'm feeding stray cats good food, tapos yung sarili kong pusa e probably gutom na gutom na out there somewhere. Huhu.

Natatakot din ako na baka nasagasan na sya. Or napulot ng manginginom at ginawang pulutan. Baka nilapa ng mga aso. Or... or...

Nah, I don't think so. My cat is very smart. And he keeps as much distance as possible from humans. He's probably just out there somewhere. Baka ayaw nga lang umuwi dahil lagi syang kinukulong sa kwarto. Ewan ko.

Nung bata pa kami, may pusa kaming ipinaampon sa tita ko. Binitbit nung pamangkin nya yung cat papunta sa bahay nila blocks away from tita's house. Ayun, naligaw ata yung pusa at never nang nakabalik.

Sana makauwi na si Jiufen at si Gen-gen. Miss na miss ko na sila. Huhu.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:17 AM.

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Quick ulet
火曜日: April 6, 2021



Sa sobrang sabaw ko kahapon, auto in yung na punch ko instead if aux during lunch. With this, I missed 4 calls. Ininform ko na rin yung TL namin para si sya ma shock. When he called near 9PM, akala ko papagalitan nya ko. Lol.

Something about work lang pala. Nakalimutan na naman ata na until 6PM lanh shift ko. Lagi nya napapagpalit sched namin ng isa ko pang kasama. Lol. Pero ok lang. Mabilis lang naman.

-----

Hindi pa umuuwi ang panganay kong pusa. Hindi rin sya umuwi kagabi. Nakakapag-alala. Tas yung mga baby cats ko, katatapos lang ng week-long meds nila, ayun, nagtatae na naman.

Mukhang babalik na naman kami sa doc. Nakakaawa ang mga pusa sa byahe. Kaso, ano namang gagawin ko?

Sighs.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:53 AM.

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Quick
月曜日: April 5, 2021



Wasn't able to sleep so much last night. Tokwang coffee ice cream. Ayoko sana pumasok today, kaso absent na ko last Monday, at ayoko rin itapon ang 1-day worth of salary ko para lang matulog. I probably won't sleep anyway.

Gusto ko ng pasta na puro mantika at hindi matamis. Miss na miss ko na ang pasta ng Shakey's. Makapagluto nga mamaya.

Nakita ko sa nf ko yung nilutong ravioli ng kakilala ko. Feeling ko hindi pa ako nakakatikim ng ravioli. Parang masarap.

Ang weird ng tiyan ko today.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:36 PM.

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ES
日曜日: April 4, 2021



Happy Easter!

In a little more than an hour, I'll be ending my shift.

Whenever I pass a picture of an echeveria on my newsfeed, I remember Angel of The Black Princess—some girl who used to raise succulents and recently died. I've been following her page in Facebook. Her plants looked out-of-this-world beautiful. I wonder what happens now that she's no longer around.

My friend's uncle, who was a known fashion designer, also died yesterday. Comorbidity daw. COVID + diabetes.

Alam mo ba na may mga taong naniniwala na hindi totoo ang COVID? Gawagawa lang daw ito ng gobyerno at ng China.

Just last week when I went to the hospital, I found 2 people on the ER asking for their family member to be admitted in the isolation facility. The patient was tested COVID positive. They looked and sounded desparate. The doctors, who seemed to have done this a lot of times already, didn't look any better. Said they were already full, and there were about 20 people on the waiting list pa.

Ang hirap ng mga panahong ito. Ang hirap talaga. Isang malaking hug, people.

Next week, Feast of Divine Mercy na. I haven't been in good terms with God for quite some time. I'm still trying to quietly rebuild my faith. 

Sabi sa promise ni God through Sr. Faustina, He will open His floodgates of mercy daw sa Feast of Divine Mercy. Might still be worth the try.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 05:00 PM.

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