Fukuzatsu ni suruna
Tuesday: March 26, 2019

So I was reading a complilation of tweets in fb with #AlamMoBaCrush, and I realized that human beings are the most complicated creatures.

See, look at the animals... pag type nila ang isa pang animal, they won't beat themselves up, asking themselves, "how can I stop liking you," or drown themselves in their own negativity saying, "bakit ba gusto kita kahit di mo ko magugustuhan", (even if they haven't really verified it yet) or make themselves jealous over something they just assumed saying, "alam ko crush mo si *insert name here*, ayoko na mabuhay!"and all that shit. 

Nakita mo na ba ang aso nyong nag sulk sa isang sulok at sinabi ang mga bagay na ito? Malamang hindi. Tao lang ata ang ganito ka-complicated.

This is so 16 years old, but I'm really glad that I'm crushing on someone right now, dahil kung hindi dahil sa kanya, I'm probably sulking, depressed over losing my first love who married off to someone else. Instead I'm all goofy, all smiley, sometimes annoyed and a little crazy, but I must say that this is so much better than being depressed and heartbroken.

There is this tarot reader that I follow in YouTube. Her readings these past months resonated so much it filled me with so much hope. Pero yung latest reading nya for the month of April, hindi ko nagustuhan. Said we're having communication problems (which is true), and I'm getting bored of waiting (also true) and that there are other offers (maybe true as well). She said I'll stop waiting and accept a better offer and this will leave the other person with so much regret. 

Kaya siguro nakalagay sa bible na ayaw ni God sa fortunetelling because hindi naman talaga sya laging healthy. The reading made me sad for a while until I realized that the power is still in my hands. I'm free to like whoever I want. At least for now, it's still that person. I don't want anyone to regret anything. I'll take care of my own feelings, he'll take care of his. No further complications needed.

I know it took me some time, but really right now...


* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 08:15 PM.

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Monday: March 25, 2019

Whenever I want to talk to you, I write here instead. What's up with that?

I was watching KMJS last night. They featured a love story where a woman met her forever sa pila ng tubig (poso). Natawa lang ako sa part na sinadya nung girl na mag-igib, kuntodo ayos and all, para makita yung guy. Tapos sabi nung nanay nya, "bakit ka mag-iigib, e ang dami dami nating tubig?"

I only have a few excuses left to talk to you. Can we just be together already? Lol.

I've just been learning 'cunning' recently. True blue late bloomer. I did like men even back when I was little, but there were so many things I liked that my attention were all over the place. Hindi talaga ako natutong magpapansin. The very few men who ever noticed me were all men close to me. Probably those who have a thing for weird, nerdy women. Lol. 

Some may say that mine is an age too old to still be single. But I feel in my heart that I'm just right where I'm supposed to be. Had I gotten married earlier, I would have gotten myself into trouble, because I know that emotionally, I still wasn't ready. But I'm starting to learn things now, and even the way my heart behaves seems to be changing. 

Maybe emotional maturity is already starting to catch up with my age. Finally.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 08:45 PM.

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Saturday: March 24, 2019

I don't know if there's a scientific explanation on this, yung pag pinagsabay mo ang alak at mint candy, mas malakas ang magiging effect ng alcohol?

Had a little inuman shesh/bonding/meeting with the gang, so today, I woke up and attended the training with a skull-cracking headache.

Namiss ko to. Alcohol and conversations is my favorite mix. The ladies and I are planning for another inuman shesh next Friday. Ang tagal ko nang gustong makipag inuman, gulapay levels. Lord, pengi pera, please.


Jer saw that Bea's boyfie was working on some stock market-related sheesh on his laptop. We flooded questions on him afterwards, and Bea beamed proudly.

Ang cute ng mag jowang to. I feel so happy for Bea. I think it would be great kung sila na ang magkakatuluyan. I wholeheartedly support these lovebirds.


If there's something I've learned in the love front as I grew older, siguro yun e yung "little things matter." Ang fragile ng puso ng taong nagmamahal, that's why you have to be extra careful. If you feel like your person is seeking assurance that he's the only one, then by all means, give it to him. Mind games are only for children and inducing jealousy is only cute in koreanovela. In real life, these things can set you apart little by little until the rift grew to a point na hindi nyo na kayang i-reconcile.

Gusto kong tandaan ang lesson na to in case magamit ko in the future. *wink wink*


Sending Gigi back to the hospital on Thursday. I'm happy that the cage allowed me to take a leave. Thank you, Lord.

Our fur baby might be needing to undergo an operation. Sana ma accomplish lahat ng kailangang gawin on Thursday because I'm starting to feel bad about having to take a leave already.

Gigi looks so much better now. Sana tuloy tuloy na.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 01:06 AM.

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Friday: March 22, 2019

I'm not liking the upcoming changes in the club. I wish I can just stop caring.

Maybe the best I can do e wag na makigulo pa. For one, I suspect that my intentions are not entirely pure.

Hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling ang lungkot na ito.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 11:07 AM.

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Tuesday: March 19, 2019

I've known his brother before I met him some time about 2 years ago. They are twins, but not identical. The brother was kinda cute, I was expecting them to at least look the same, but I was suprised that he was taller and a whole lot more handsome.

Before he left PH, he asked that we take a picture together. I wish I asked him for a copy just so I can verify if he was indeed as handsome as I remember him to be.

He's been working as a sea man for the last 2 years. I can't believe a person can change that much for a short period of time. His twin brother is the same as ever. Surely, his eyes still look nice and all, and I'm pretty sure he's still capable of sweeping women off their feet since he's still a smooth talker, but I can't help but feel panghihinayang because I remember he was such an eye candy.

Huhu. Anong ginawa nila sayo?


Z: *reacts about a logo-making contest she found in fb*

B: Sumali ka. Dapat yan ang mga ginagawa mo. Sa ganyan ka kaya magaling. Wag na yung mga bagay na di ka naman magaling.

Z: San ako hindi magaling? Magaling naman ako sa lahat ng bagay ah.

B: Sa pagbi-business?

Iniisip ko kung may point ba sya. 


I'm done with the online training and will proceed with the classroom room training this Saturday. Hopefully by the following Saturday makapagtake na ko ng licensure exam. Maybe by the start of April, pwede na kong magbenta ng insurance. Naisip ko na nga ang magiging line ko e:

"Hi, my name is Z. I sell life insurance for a living. So if I invite you to have coffee with me, alam mo na. Open-minded ka ba?"

Lol. Iniisip ko kung lalayuan na ba ako ng mga kaibigan ko.


J-holiday on Thursday. Mom discovered a community hospital for animals near home. Said they also perform complex surgery for free. I'm bringing our Gigi there since I don't have work.

Sana maging ok na ang aming bunso.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 09:02 PM.

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And you are different
Monday: March 18, 2019

So ayun. Medyo tinatamaan ako ng lungkot lately. One of those times when you wish you can invite a friend for a chat over coffee kaso di mo magawa kasi lahat sila may asawa na.

Okay, that's not entirely true. Pero almost.

Iniisip ko kung time of the month ba to. I'm haunted by unwanted thoughts lately, uselessly driving myself crazy over something that might not even be true.

I wonder if that's the purpose of getting married or being in a relationship- having someone to sit down with when you want to stop yourself from overthinking.


I read his vow. I tried watching the video itself, but poor internet connection prevented me from doing so. Looks like he didn't change so much. Except for his voice. I no longer remember his voice but I'm pretty sure he didn't sound like that. His thinking seems to be the same though and I can't help but see the wife with curiosity. Looks like she doesn't mind that he thinks that way at all. 

Between Maria Clara and Gabriella Silang, I'm more of the former. I feel like in a relationship, moreso in a family, the man should be the one to lead. How can he do that if he's always afraid and doubting himself?

Or are my expectations too big?

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 01:02 PM.

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Sunday: March 17, 2019

There's a newly intalled Breadtalk in Shang. Nakakapikon na umaalingasaw ang amoy ng kanilang tinapay, hinahatak yung paa ko papunta sa counter.

Antaba ko na nga wala pa ko pera. I hate you, Breadtalk.


I can't understand why my FB timeline is full of animal videos. I once saw a cow licking a man's face like a dog. I find it hard to eat hamburger since then. Gusto ko naman talagang maging vegetarian, ayaw lang makipag cooperate ng tiyan ko. Last week, I brought a week supply of fruits from home to my place in Manda. Siguro ganito yung feeling ng mga aswang na nag settle nalang sa pagkain ng buhay na manok at daga dahil ayaw na nilang kumain ng tao. Hindi masaya. Napakain parin naman ako ng karne. Ita try ko nalang ulet next week.

When we were younger, I remember BFF stopped eating pork because she found them cute (she's a fan of Superboink). Maybe if I'll start finding pigs cute too, maybe I'll stop eating them also.

Nalulungkot talaga ako pag kumakain ako ng hayop. Pero anong kakainin ko?


Extreme tipid mode. Hay, Lord, pengi pera!

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 10:51 AM.

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Friday: March 15, 2019

Ang dami kong pera. Ang dami kong pera. Woohoo! Dami kong pera!!!

*ulit ulitin hanggang sa magkatotoo*


Finally watched Captain Marvel. The movie ran 2 hours pero sa post credit talaga ko na hook. Syet! Ang gwapo ni Cap! Isang Chris Evans naman, Universe.

N times ko nang napanood yung trailer. So excited for the Endgame. Please don't break our hearts, Marvel. Pag na deds si Cap or yung iba ko pang favorite, ayawan na.


I started crafting the congratulatory toast for bff's wedding right at the reception, few minutes before my name was called. Hindi ko pa natapos because Ice was pestering me. Pero ok naman nakaraos naman.

Sana ganun din tonight. 

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 07:36 AM.

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Wednesday: March 13, 2019

Travelled 3 hours back home last night bilang walang tubig. Kahit sa cage wala. Mukhang nasalanta ng bagyo ang cr. Lol.

I was planning to commute home for a while until the water shortage in Mandaluyong subsides, pero sabi ni Tita 3 months pa daw to.

I was on my way to work this morning when my stomach started acting up. I've decided to take a leave kasi ang hirap naman nagloloko tiyan mo tas walang flush yung banyo...

Wahhh! Ayoko na! Pengi tubeeeeeg!


Gusto ko na manood ng Captain Marvel. I might drop by the cinema later. Mukhang promising din yung Shazzam.

Right now, I just want to finish the training. I want to master all the products involved so that I can help my brother find the perfect insurance tas yung mga future customers ko na rin siguro. It was after all my brother the reason why I'm joining this insurance company in the first place. Ikayaman ko kaya to?

Sa totoo lang namiss ko to. Nakakamiss din palang mag -aral.


I'm taking one of the prepared speaker roles for the meeting on Friday but I'm too lazy to even craft a draft. Nawa ay sapian ako ng inspirasyon bago mag Friday.


"Zah, nasa Batanggas ka pala the last time nung kasal ni ***," 

I guess this is not leaving me anytime soon.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 10:38 AM.

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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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my name is z




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