水曜日: January 13, 2021

Woke up with bad colds, heavy head and nonstop cough. 2nd week palang ng taon nakadalawang absent na ko. Feeling ko, gumagawa lang ng dahilan ang katawan ko para makatakas sa trabaho.

Naiirita ako sa JP user na ina assist ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. Kung tutuusin, mabait naman sya. Nakakainis lang na araw araw syang nagpapa remote ng PC. Kahit na fix na yung initial issue, iimbento sya ng bagong issue na dapat i-fix. Feeling ko ginagawa nya na akong personal IT.

I gave him the final instructions yesterday, then closed the ticket. Sabi ko tawag nalang sya ulit kung may issue pa. Nung nag reply sya, nagpaparemote pa rin kaya hindi ko na pinansin. Na resolve na yung initial issue, at yung mga sumunod. Kung ia-assist ko pa sya, hindi na kami matatapos kaya, bahala na.

Sabi sa records, associate director daw to. Tokwa, bahala na talaga.


Nalala ko yung sinabi ng classmate ko nung high-school:

Gusto ko grumadweyt, ayoko na mag-aral. Gusto ko lang makipag kwentuhan sa inyo at maghappy happy.

Sa tingin ko ganito yung nararamdaman ko sa pagiging empleyado:

Gusto kong sumweldo, ayoko nang pumasok, gusto ko lang yumaman at mag happy happy.

Nung bata pa ko, I remember wanting to prove myself to the world. Ngayon, ewan ko. Parang gusto ko nalang yumaman. Or siguro, gusto ko lang maging malaya.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 11:49 PM.


Dear husbands
: January 10, 2021

Someone I know told me that her husband left her for another woman.

It's been barely over a year since they got married.

The wife is pretty. When it comes to looks, the husband doesn't even come close to the wife's level. I don't know.

Alam mo ba na majority ng friends ko na nag-asawa e at least once e sinabi na "sana pala hindi nalang ako nag-asawa."

Minsan nakakaawa. Feeling ko luging lugi ang mga babae when it comes to marriage. 

Agaw-buhay sa panganganak. After manganak masisira yung health mo at katawan mo. Pag nagka ngipin si baby, makakagat pa nipples mo. Madalas sa hindi, ikaw pa ang tagaluto, tagalaba, tagahugas, etc. Wala pang isang taon yung tahi mo sa panganganak e nagbubuhat ka ng isang plangganang puno ng labada.

Kung ang asawa mo e hindi gwapo at hindi mayaman, ang pakinabang mo lang sa kanya e performance nya sa kama. Pero kung kahit dun e wala syang talent, ano na?

Ewan. Saludo ako sa mga babaeng nagawang magstay sa marriage kahit walang masyadong benepisyong at puro perwisyo ang nakukuha nila. Ewan.

I hate men who have the nerve to shout at his wife despite all her sacrifices. Takte, bago mo pinakasalan yan, she was her parents' beloved daughter tas sisigawan mo lang. Porket nagtrabaho ka para sa kakarampot mong sahod, kala mo pagmamay-ari at alipin mo na yung asawa mo kung sigawan mo.

I mean, marriage can be tough, and we all have to live our part, pero takte, if you've already reached the maximum  of what you can give, and can no longer contribute some more, at least be kind.

I mean, if you can't  afford to buy your wife a gift, or expand the family budget, at least treat her nicely. 

It's just weird, you know. I used to think that marriage should be a goal for single women. But the more married couples I see, the more I feel sorry for the women who have gotten themselves in that situation.

Siguro nagkataon lang na ganitong klaseng couples ang nakikita ko.

In a way, feeling ko ok na rin na iniwanan yung kakilala ko ng asawa nya for another woman. I think she deserves so much better.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 04:58 PM.

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金曜日: January 8, 2021

January 8 na pala at ngayon ko lang nagawa ang 1st entry of the year ko. Hindi ko matandaan kung anong ginawa ko nitong mga nakaraang araw bukod sa trabaho. Probably playing some game or something.

Bukas, balik trabaho ulet.

Naalala ko yung co#1. I'm pretty sure there were days back then when I was probably sick of working and had long been contemplating to quit, but I no longer remember them now. Funny I kept remembering fond memories.

How magical it felt when the door to Chubu Kenshuu Center opened automatically in front of me. It felt surreal. Whenever I want to feel lucky, I always bring myself back to my CKC days, the day when  my dream of going to Japan and learning a foreign language came true.

Pero hindi naman lahat ng fond memories ko sa co#1, ganun ka grand. Meron ding simple fond memories lang, pero equally precious. I remember 1 time I was so busy with work that I needed to go to work on a Sunday kahit mag-isa lang ako. I had the key to the office, I decided to bring Dad along para di masyado nakakatakot. Co#1's office was posh and well-kept, Dad was amazed. Wala naman syang ginawa sa office, pinag dikit dikit nya lang yung chair para matulog.

Nagpa deliver ako ng Tapa sa Rufo's for lunch. I remember the delighted look on Dad's face when we were eating together. He ate like it was the best meal ever. I loved that day. Dad looked so happy and content. I loved Rufo's tapa mostly because of that moment. I no longer eat tapa now, but I wish I can let Dad eat their beef tapa again, and will let Mom eat too.

Gusto ko nang yumaman. Kung tutuusin, this past year, sobrang na blessed ako financially, because of co#4. Pero sa totoo lang, bawat company na napagtrabahuhan ko, naging malaking blessings din para samin.

Naalala ko dati nung namasyal kami sa SM Fairview. We were just starting our career back then kaya wala pa ring masyadong pera. I remember passing by City Buffet, at ang nasabi lang namin e, "pag yaman natin, kakain tayo dyan." Ngayon, umay na umay na kami sa City Buffet.

I want my family to enjoy a good life. A luxurious one. Yung bonggang bongga talaga. I can't imagine getting rich tapos wala sila sa equation. I don't want that. I want to get rich so we can all enjoy, and I feel like I need to hurry up because my parents are not getting any younger.

Sabi ni Deepak Chopra, a quiet mind is more powerful than a positive one daw.

I think I manifested co#4 through the power of silence. I want to believe that I can manifest absolute financial freedom as well, with the same effortless ease using, this same technique. 



The past 2 days I spent playing games, watching tv, playing with my niece and nephew etc, etc.

I consider co#4 as a huge blessing for the past year. I am grateful. Still, in my heart I know that I still want to be free.

I know, I'm getting there.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 09:23 PM.


Lemon Square
水曜日: December 30, 2020

2nd entry of the day.

Wala masyadong calls at 1pm pa ang break ko kaya patambay muna.


Nung bata pa ko, gustong gusto ko ng lemon square cheesecake. Pakiramdam ko humihinto ang mundo pag kumakain ako non. I remember Mom let me eat as many cheesecakes as I want  to the point ma umay na umay na ko at hindi na ko kumain ulet ng cheesecake. The next time I ate cheesecake, I was already an adult. Until now, kumakain lang ako ng cheesecake pag walang choice.

I bought a pack of assorted lemon square cup cakes a week back. The 3 pcs left were all cheesecake. Tokwa, anong gagawin ko rito?


Croissant ang paborito kong tinapay. Lalo na yung super thin at crispy ang mga layers, tas may palaman na chocolate sa loob. Maybe if I eat as many croissant as I want, siguro mauumay din ako at hindi na kakain ulet ng croissant. But it's hard to overindulge on something when it's not easily available. Saan ba merong croissant? I'm suiting myself with a packed bread called "crossini". I kinda like it, but it's not croissant.


Ang bango ng ham na niluto ni Mama nung noche buena. Mom is a good cook, but she rarely cooks as she always leave the cooking to Dad. But since Dad just undergone an operation, Mom did the cooking for a few weeks. I particularly love Mom's adobo. I think hers is the best adobo ever. It's been a really long while since I last tasted her cooking, pero ngayong nagluto na sya, hindi ko naman makain. 

The food smelled good, yet as I stared  on the dead animal meat, my stomach squirmed in disgust. It's the exact same feeling as the thought of eating a puppy.

I wonder if the reason why I can't eat meat is due to a psychological problem or something.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 12:48 PM.


Ato ichinichi
水曜日: December 30, 2020

1 day and 2020 is over. 

Pretty slow year. There were bad news here and there, so if at this point you are still able to read this Tabulas entry, ay aba! Survivor ka!

I really can't say I'm ending the year with a happy note, although, ok naman kami. I'm grateful. The people I love are still with me, and we still have money. We're good. All is good.

I don't know if 2021 will be better for myself and for the rest of the world.

My prayer is 2021 will be great year full of blessings beyond imagination. 

That businesses that were hit hard, will be able to stand back again.

That people will be healthier, wealthier. And more jobs will be available for those who are in need.

That there will be healing to those who have gotten sick.

And comfort for those who have lost a loved one... or so.

Wisdom for the Filipino people. Protection and providence for the Nation.

Tas, world peace.

For my family and myself, happiness, excellent health, great opportunities, and abundance in all things. Same for my friends, the people I care about, and you, tabulas people.


Then, gusto ko na magkaroon ng 2 million pesos monthly income, earned effortlessly! That I'll be able to have the liberty of time and resources to do whatever I want in life. And that I'll be able to give my parents a luxurious life they never dared imagine.


Thank you, 2020. Let's do this, 2021!

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 12:07 PM.


Nisen nijuu
火曜日: December 29, 2020

MMFF is worth 250 pesos per movie. Keribels, since there are 6 of us in the family who can watch the film, so not bad na (the 7th member is an 8 month old boy who cannot watch tv yet).

I asked Mom what she wants to watch, and she was like, "lahat". I think my mom is overestimating my financial capacity. Lol.

I miss Heneral Dizon's MMFF review. I wonder how she is now. Maybe somewhere fighting for what she believes in, probably disapproving the government. 

Or, she could be also dead.


Naiisip ko pa rin yung Alice In Borderland, days after I finished watching. It's been a while since I last watched a good J-drama. Kelan kaya ang season 2?

I think Kdrama men looks good, mostly because of their clothes. Have you seen Kento Yamazaki in Alice in Borderland? Shabby clothes, messed up hair, pero tokwa, pogi parin! Haha!


The year 2020 feels so old, there are days when I'm convinced that it's already 2021.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 12:24 PM.


Alice in Borderland
: December 24, 2020

Ep 1. Ang intense. And, oof, ampogi Arisu, my gahd.


Naalala ko lang, ang last major kilig ko sa buhay e nung lumabas si Cris Evans, full beard, sa Infinity War. And that was, what? 2018? Gah!


It was the 1st time in a long time na nakompleto ko ang workweek na walang absent.

Ano bang gagawin ko sa buhay ko, Universe.


Sa totoo lang, ngayon nalang ulet ako nakapag Netflix. Bukod sa busy sa trabaho, mejo nahu hook ako sa game na Legend Of the Phoenix.

Grabe sobrang productive ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. 

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 01:13 AM.


日曜日: December 20, 2020

12 years na kong empleyado. And I still feel the same all these years.

I've worked for 4 employers already.

Kung tutuusin, maswerte ako sa mga napasukan kong trabaho.

Company #1 made my major dreams come true.

It sent me to Japan. Made me study Japanese.

Company #2 wasn't so good, but it led me to change my career, so I landed to Company #3.

Company #3 was an answered prayer. I asked to get paid with the same amount as I was having back in co#1 minus the work load. 6 years spent with almost just having to sign in and out of the office. Supee petiks! Sounds good? Sa totoo lang, hindi masaya.

And now Company #4 came. I got the exact salary the I asked the Heavens for. Sabi ko rin, yung medyo may ginagawa naman, so yeah, may ginagawa naman talaga. I also asked for officemates I can be friends with, and I kinda have it now... okay ba? Okay!

Okay naman e. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganun parin ang feelings ko towards work.

Kahit mabait ang mga boss ko.

Kahit ok ang sweldo.

Kahit mababaut ang mga katrabaho.

At kahit ngayon na hindi ko na kailangang bumyahe, may mga araw parin na ayoko nang pumasok.

Kailangan ko ng pera. Di ba kailangan naman talaga ng pera para mabuhay? And I want to give my parents an even better life. Habang kaya pa nila mamasyal, gusto ko silang ipasyal. And I want to give them all the fine things they can have, and I can only do that if I have money.

Tae. Sinubukan ko rin namang mag negosyo pero ganun di  yung feeling. Yung feeling na you owe everyone everything. Parang kahit oras mo hindi ikaw ang may-ari. Ganun. Ewan ko.

May way ba? 

Yung hindi ka magtatrabaho, or mag nenegosyo, pero masusustain mo pa rin ang sarili mo financially, without having to downgrade your lifestyle? Naniniwala akong may way...

Alam ko.... mahahanap ko rin yan! Sa 2021, mahahanap ko yan! At makukuha ko rin. And my family and I will enjoy all these together. 

Thanks in advance , Universe.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 12:10 PM.


土曜日: December 20, 2020


Ang nasa isip ko e isang pares na tasty na may palamang tuna at mayonnaise. Tapos Fita na sinawsaw sa Milo. 

I don't even feel hungry.


I hate relatives who speak as if my mom is so kawawa that she doesn't have an apo from me. Then proceed to ridiculously suggesting na ipaampon nalang daw dapat sakin ng kapatid ko ang isa sa pamangkin ko. Ano yun, tuta?


Then he even had the nerve to ask me na pahiramin ko sya ng pera?????! Wahahahahayuuup. Lol. 

Doesn't it feel so wrong sometimes...

Yung kailangan mong galangin those people who offend you like it's nothing, all because mas matanda sila. Tas kamag-anak mo pa. Tas alam mo mapapahiya parents mo kung babastusin mo sila, kahit sila e hindi ka naman nirerespeto.

Tae no. Tae talaga.


12:06 am na. Di ako makatulog. Trabaho pa bukas. Gusto ko na yumaman. 

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 12:12 AM.


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