birds
Monday: July 24, 2017



-type mo rin ba?

-nope

-ayos! therefore, di sya bading.

.

.

grabe sya.

had this convo with a girl friend last night. naaliw ako sa pagka action-packed ng lovelife ng mga single friends ko recently. and i love how they're so kerenkeng. birds of a feather flock together indeed.

i miss flexing my flirting muscles. im getting really bored with this self-imposed hiatus.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:51 PM.

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Mga kumpisal
Saturday: July 22, 2017



Chatting with my girl friends and i found it amusing how we have the same opinion about the men present in our common circle right now.

You see, i never had a sister. That's why i love having girl friends around. They are the sisters i never had.

-------

So LA and I had a mini food stop after the meeting.

Kwentuhan. Chika chika. Etcetera.

Then she mentioned a dude that she noticed earlier sa meeting.

"Ay, napansin ko rin yun," i said.

When she said "shucks" thought she meant, "shucks, parehas tayo ng taste," until she followed,

"Type mo? Naku baka bading."

Ay, grabe sya...

Laugh trip.

--------

A friend was depressed a few days back so i was surprised to find out that she had completely bounced back na. All because she received a pm from some dude she's been eyeing for some time.

I know. I'm the same. I'm a woman too.

I, too, was a little bit depressed earlier until this message came. Minsan naiinis ako sa kung pano mo ko napapasaya.

I find men's effect on women both fascinating and infuriating. Nakaka amaze na isang simpleng message from a guy na special sayo e kayang i-turn ang super low days mo around and make u all bouncy. Infuriating din, kasi nakakainis na may taong may ganung power over you di ba?

I just retreated from a battle and im still wounded. I know it's not wise to get back fighting when you're not yet on your best self. At alam ko rin na hindi reliable ang nararamdaman ng mga taong fresh pa ang sugat. Siguro, chill muna.

Hindi naman ako dating ganito, pero parang ngayon, takot na ko.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:44 PM.

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So yeah...
Saturday: July 22, 2017



And i sabotaged once gain my own love life.

Thank you very much.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:29 PM.

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Mga munting katotohanan na hindi mo sinasabi
Saturday: July 22, 2017



Club contest over. Hindi ako nanalo, na disqualified pa ko. Overtime.

Ok lang naman. Nakakatawa lang na sasali rin pala ang mentee ko sa isa pang category tas sya rin na overtime.

Ayoko talaga ng natatalo pero this time, ok lang talaga. Nalulungkot lang ako na hindi ako magkakaroon ng excuse para makasama ka.

Pero kahit yun, ok na rin talaga. Pero syempre, gusto pa rin talaga kitang kasama.

---------

Alam mo ba yung hunch? Yung madalas tinatawag nateng "kutob". Common yun sa nga babae including me. I remember back in the day when cellphones weren't a thing yet, i would always know if bff was visiting our house because of this hunch. Same goes if it's nephil or anyone i have strong connections to.

This hunch also makes me foresee the outcome of things. I remember very well the times when i thought i won't get something i badly wanted and i felt this pull in my gut then ended up getting that thing despite the apparent impossibility.

There is also that other kind of pull where I'd get the opposite. I don't remember this ever failing.

Just a few hours ago, i felt a pull. A pull i recognized as that of defeat and i have a bad feeling about this.

Has anyone felt something like this before? If you're able to fight the hunch and get the opposite of what it's telling you, please, please, let me know.

----------

Then i watched the other boy slipping away.

There i was pretending i don't really care.

I hate lying. If you lie in your actions, then that's still a lie. I wish i have the courage to act the truth out though.

I already told the Heavens that i don't want to lose you.

Kaya sige, bahala na.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:10 AM.

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Super quick
Tuesday: July 18, 2017



Need to be in bed before 10 so this is going to be quick.

- im excited that injan's new co will be in cubao, meaning, we can see eachother more often. She's one of my fav peeps in the world and im dying for a little heart to heart talk with her right now.

- july 21, Friday, there will be a club contest for evals and humorous speech. That's also my brother's bday. Said kuya will be having an early out and mom's making hirit, "ikaw lang ang wala". I wonder if i should just skip the contest.

- still recuperating. i admit im not yet okay.

Time's up.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:43 PM.

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How are you?
Sunday: July 16, 2017



-Itchy eyes

-Runny nose

-Sneezing fit

These are the ingredients of my sunday evening. 3 days into my bakasyon grande and im still at the "decluttering" stage and yet to reach the "planning" stage. Kinailangan ko kasing magpalayas kaya hindi din ako matapos tapos.

------

Soap and dust.

Two things I'm allergic with. Sabi ng doctor before wala naman talagang cure sa allergy, you can only drink meds for relief or totally avoid the cause. I know it's impossible to avoid these two and I've long resigned to the fact i have to go on a sneezing fiesta in every day of my life. Pero recently, dumadagdag pa yung itchy eyes sa side effect. Hindi ko kaya, bes.. Huhu.

-------

Kapapanood ko lang ng bagong ad ng jollibee sa facebook. Hindi ko nagustuhan. Eexplain ko sana reason ko pero, nakakatamad kasi. Basta.

Out of the arena for days now. Or weeks na ata. I lost counting. It is during times like this na wala akong target na naaalala kita. Tas napanood ko pa ad ng jollibee. Well, iba naman story naten pero.... Wait, ano ngang story naten?

Alam mo ba, hinihintay ko ang time na magse-settle down ka na. Gusto ko kasing malaman kung anong magiging reaction ko dun, because right now, i can only speculate.

Kamustaka ka na ba, R?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:20 PM.

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Dahil hindi na naman ako makatulog
Sunday: July 16, 2017



Pag ako yumaman, magpapatayo ako ng zoo.

O kaya farm.

Tapos aampunin ko lahat ng street animals or yung mga hindi naman talaga naaalagaan.

Tapos hinding hindi na ko kakain ng mga hayop.

.....

Ayoko na kumain ng mga hayop.

Gusto ko nang yumaman.

Sighs...

Nalulungkot ako.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:52 AM.

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Volcano
Saturday: July 15, 2017



The 1st day of my bakasyon grande just ended. My body chemicals are probably messing up with my moods once again and i feel like a volcano ready to erupt at the slightest provocation.

You're better than that, z.

A lot of things upset me lately, and really, sometimes the things that affect you the most, you find hard to talk about.

------

Took a half-day leave yesterday and a whole day leave today. Monday's a j-holiday so that's 4.5 days of freedom. I want to plan. Rebuild and redesign my life, myself, and then create something so much better.

I spent my half day leave in taguig yesterday to buy products for business. Will be meeting tita once again by Sunday and hopefully a few more potential customers.

Since i was going to pass market market anyway, i decided to walk around a bit. Market market is the worst place go when you're on diet. But hey, i managed to get out of there without eating anything nakakataba.

5 days on diet and i can now slip off my pants without undoing the zipper and button. Applied the same pattern i used 5 years back and it seems like it's just as effective. If i manage to do this for another week, i plan to switch to a healtier version of this by the following week. I wonder if this is the cause of my volcanic attitude lately.

-------

Spent the day today cleaning my room. Not yet done with it so Saturday will probably be another cleaning day. I also plan to fix my body clock by going to bed at 9 and waking up at 4, securing a 7-hours sleep. It's 12:21am now, so as you can see, I'm failing miserably on this. I did go to bed at 9 though. I intend to wake up at 4am still. Hopefully later tonight, magawa ko na matulog ng 9.

Might be meeting my cousins on Sunday, tita bebeng's daughters. They are artista level beautiful ladies. We're not really close but they are super nice bunch so hopefully maging madali for me to set the friendly, sisterly vibe since ako yung ate. Hindi kasi pwedeng ako yung awkward di ba? Jeez.. Naiistress ako.

Eversince naman mejo socially awkward talaga ko. But my parents taught me to be polite and i think it's impolite to meet people and just sit there not talking. You have no idea how this is so much of a torture for me though. Pero usually sa una lang naman ganun. Besides, the times that i tried to combat my social awkwarness turned out okay naman 100% of the time, so laban lang!

-------

12:56 am. Can someone teach me how to sleep?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:52 AM.

2 comments





Running and overflow
Monday: July 10, 2017



Been feeling low since this morning. For one, i have terrible colds and runny nose and my head's aching a bit. Hassle mag sick leave sa cage so id rather crawl and die there.

Not in my best mood too. Bad trip kasi ung ang sakit ng ulo mo tas ang ingay ng cellphone mo. Weeks, pare, weeks. At kahit once hindi ko sinagot tawag mo, text mo at pm mo... Hindi parin ba clear?

Dad warned me of this boy. Dad rarely do that, so i know i have to listen. If only it won't be so much of a hassle to change number...

Yung gusto ka, hindi mo gusto. Yung gusto mo, hindi ka gusto. Quits lang naman. At least, mabait saken yung gusto ko.... Ay wait, minsan lang pala. Haha! But really, pramis, eto na yung pinakamabait na way na alam ko.

---------

A lot of things scare and confuse me so much lately so i went to the chap para maka heart to heart talk ang Langit. Nakakahiya na naaalala ko lang Siya at humahaba lang ang mga dasal ko pag may kailangan ako.

Minsan ang sarap yugyugin ang Langit at kulitin Sya na ibigay sayo ang gusto mo. Agad agad. Now na. Pero nalaman ko na ang peace pala matatagpuan lang pag natutunan mo nang mag let go.

Gagawin ko po ang lahat ng kaya ko in my power. As for the rest, Heavens, bahala Ka na...

"i didn't give you fear." This was what i heard inside my head as i was leaving the chap. Nakikipag usap din pala ang Langit or guniguni ko lang ba? It doesn't matter.

Hindi ko alam kung ibibigay ng Langit yung hinihingi ko, pero yung peace na binigay Nya sakin today, sapat na. Sobra sobra pa.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:43 PM.

2 comments



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