Entries in category "木曜日"


木曜日. June 27, 2019

Angels

P: Ah, Toastmaster ka?
Z: Oo, Toastmaster ka rin?
P: Hindi. Yung prof ko dati pinapa attend kami. Di kami umaattend.
Z: Bakit?
P: Di ba speech, speech to? Mahiyaan kasi ako, na me-mental block ako pag nagsasalita sa harap.
Z: Ah, hindi mo trip...

*this was a job interview. Lol.*

Convo from the same dude 1 day earlier:

P: Hello. Is this Z?
Z: Yes po, speaking.
P: This is P from W. You applied for our company, right?
Z: **how the eff would I know?** A-ah... yes, yes. I think.
P: Ok. Please come for an interview at 11am tomorrow.

*most awkward phone convo ever*

PERO, pero, ang cute cute netong batang to. Lol.

Same day. Same co. Different dude.

T: You've been staying in (insert co name here) for so long. What made you stay?
Z: the people are very nice.
T: the people here are nice too. I'm sure you'll like it here.
Z: Oh, ok.

I think I like these people. They are laid-back and it feels familiar. I'll have a phone interview tomorrow directly from Japan. If all goes well... Well, I hope all goes well.

------

3 days before the month ends and technically, wala parin akong bagong trabaho. Mom said Dad is having a hard time peeing. He seems to be sick. Sis-in-law said she saw blood in Dad's pee, which made Brother confront him and convinced him to go and see a doctor. Dad hates medical check up. Can't blame him, I hate that too. Still, I'm glad that we have Brother to convince him to go. If it's just Mom and I, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't listen to us. Sis-in-law is a nurse so I ask her what could possibly be the problem. Either UTI daw or kidney stones. I hope this is really nothing serious.

With Dad being sick, it's clear that being jobless is not included in my options. I felt relieved that the Account Manager talked to me this morning and said I'll be staying in Japan support until Sept, to support  emails, and then after that, they can train me for the English account. Kung tutuusin, hindi naman talaga nila ako pinapaalis, to which I'm very very thankful.

------

Injan sent me a message regarding a job opening for j-speaker near her office. See, my Injan has two, and just two, facial expressions only: the smiling expression, and the no-expression expression. She only gives off the latter when she's tired or hungry, or when she doesn't agree with what you're saying. Other than that, she's always smiling. Injan always look unbothered. She never really look like she cares, but her actions always prove otherwise. That's why I love my Injan.

Then there's Meguri. I've sent him an email, sharing him the news about the Japan lines closing down. He then flooded me with text messages, still sounding like his old panicky self. He told me he'll endorse me to his friends in JK, a recruitment firm for multilinguals. I don't think that's really necessary pero nakaka touch parin how this person will always go out of his way to help me. He said he'll help me with mock calls and emails din in case I'll need that for my next job. He had long left the company. He never really have any obligations to me whatsoever, and yet, ayan sya, always eager to help. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit sobrang bait ng taong to. Iniisip ko talaga, angel ba sya?

I may not be in an ideal place right now. But I think this is not really so bad. Iniisip ko na had I chosen to stay in my 1st co as an engineer, I wouldn't be having these problems right now. Pero kung hindi ko yun ginawa, hindi ko rin siguro makikilala yung mga amazing na taong nakilala ko these past 6 years. I just feel so thankful I can't find it in my heart to feel regret or even complain.

I've been having a hard time asking the Heavens for a specific prayer lately. May fear kasi na baka yung gusto ko, hindi pala best para sakin. So everyday, I pray that the Heavens will guide me so that every step I make will always lead me a step closer to success, prosperity, happiness, good health, and loving relationships. I think this is the best prayer I've ever tried so far. This is training me to be more trusting.

Out of the countless companies I've applied to, I only had 3 companies where I made it to the final level. The verdic will be around next week. Hindi ko alam kung matatanggap ba ko sa isa man sa mga ito. But in my heart, I trust that the Heavens knows what's best for me.

Magiging maayos din siguro ang lahat.


11:15 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. June 20, 2019

Moshikashitara suki ja nai kamo

10:24pm. Should be sleeping because I'll be meeting Injan very early tomorrow.

The week has been emotionally exhausting. I heard from a talk before that being an introvert has nothing to do with being shy. There are shy extroverts too. According to the talk, all of it has to do with one's energy. Introverts recharge their energy through solitude and exhaust it by socializing with people. Then extroverts are just the opposite. Through and through, I'm an introvert, and quite a shy one at that.

The entire week is fully booked I had to schedule things by the ffg week, that I kinda feel bad that when the next calls came, I had to schedule them around Wednesday already. There were invitations for the month of July also, but I couldn't commit to that yet. Kasi nga, naghahanap parin ako ng trabaho. Nasan na kaya ako by then? Sana talaga maging maayos ang lahat.

------

"Parang ayoko na mag engineer. Hehehe. Hanap ako Japanese(job) ulet. Yung chill lang sana tas mataas sweldo. Haha. Plano ko sana mag ipon muna kami ng asawa ko tas mag put up ng business. Naghahanap nga ko ng magandang business. May mare recommend ka bang pwede maging asawa? Ahahaha. Cheret."

This was my response when a friend asked about my plan now that they're closing the Japan lines at work. Her reaction was priceless. Ang dami daming similar jokes na nagkalat sa facebook, I can't believe she actually fell on that. Lol.

--------

I'm kinda getting a hang on FB's "dating" thingy. Not so bad naman pala, at ang dami ring cute. Let's see where this will go.


10:48 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. June 13, 2019

Involve

"It is with a heavy heart that I have to decline your invitation." 

Sabi ng isang blogger na finafollow ko dati sa tumblr, malalaman mo daw na tama ang decision mo depende sa amount ng peace na nararamdaman mo.

I always feel that peace everytime I say 'no' to a company. Pero kahit ganon, I'm far from being at peace at the thought of supporting an english account. So, Lord, ano nang gagawin ko?

Currently waiting for the others to arrive. It will be our Executive Committee Meeting in about an hour. I arrived early. Funny, when I got here, I saw the office of the company that I just said 'no' to. Feeling ko sinasabi nya saking, "ako nga pala yung kompanyang sinayang mo." Lol.

I just got a link from another co for an online exam. Astig. Online. I already told them I can't answer this today since I have a meeting. I was given until Saturday. This co is in BGC but I found the role interesting since this is sort of managerial and I don't have to deal with customers. I only need to coordinate with the j-bosses. They might need higher level Japanese skills for this though, pero subukan na rin naten.

I once read, or maybe heard, something that went like, "live a life of least resistance." Control freak as I am, I find this as a challenge. Pero siguro right now, ayun lang rin naman talaga ang pwede kong gawin.

Pag natapos to, siguro magiging super better person na ko. 

----------

Iniisip ko kung mali ba na ininvolve pa kita. Hindi na rin kasi ako makakilos ng maayos. Hindi ko parin kasi talaga ma-sort out ang mga bagay bagay bilang hindi pa rin kasi maayos ang lahat sa buhay ko ngayon.

Kaya iniisip ko kung mali nga kaya na ininvolve pa kita.


06:37 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. June 13, 2019

Postlude

Another call. Lahat ng ayaw ko sa setup ng trabaho nasa kanila except sa location. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ba ko umoo to go to the interview. Sayang pamasahe. Takte, laki na ng nagagastos ko sa grab. Itigil ko na kaya to?

------

I'm feeling worse day by day I'm starting to wonder if I need to see a doctor already. I feel so bad most of the time, it no longer feels normal.

Will be seeing Injan next week. She's one of my most favorite human beings. I remember when we were in highschool, sa taong iyon ako laging umiiyak. Sya ang paborito kong iyakan at pagsabihan ng problema. Hindi kasi sya nag re-react. Uupo lang sya do'n with a neutral look on her face and wouldn't bother to offer any advice whatsoever. I love her for that. Pagkatapos kong umiyak, nagagawa na naming magkwentuhan at magtawanan na parang walang nangyari. Kaya naman paborito ko si Injan.

I guess I need someone who will hear me right now. I know Injan is the only one perfect for the job. I'm sure she wouldn't attempt to console me, or offer solutions I don't even need. I wonder why other people do that- you ask for their ears and they'll give you more things to think about. I think Injan is the only one who get it. 

-------

I was reading Neri Miranda's post about her son. Siguro nasa sensitive mode lang ako ngayon, pero naiyak lang ako sa post nya. So sweet that boy. 

Damn, I really want to build my own family already. But instead that, I spend my time fixing my life, I can't even reply to the messages from the dating app.

...

Gaano pa ba ako kalayo sa mga bagay na gusto kong makuha? I wish I can take a peek on the future para at least I know whether what I want is really up in the horizon. Kasi kung hindi, at least I can already move on to something else. Talaga bang tayo ang pumipili ng future na gusto natin?

...

Maybe this is just PMS.


12:36 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. June 6, 2019

White flag

Wahhhhhh!!! Ayoko naaaaaaaa!!!

Putek, 4 days palang akong job hunting mode, depressed na depressed na ko. T_T

Kung tutuusin, kamamatay lang ni Lola. Ang daming nangyayaring kaguluhan, hindi na ako nagkaron ng pagkakataong magluksa.

Parang you just recieved a hard blow from the Universe, tas hindi ka pa nakakatayo, eto na naman yung isa.

They say good and bad things come in 3. May paparating pa bang isa?

Well, ok lang naman. Hindi naman sa nagrereklamo ako. Maybe what's stressing me out is how I put so much effort to appear put together when I feel like a wreckage inside.

I haven't tell anyone other than my family, you know. That's why it adds up to my stress when friends invite me go out and I have to say no. It's not that I don't trust my friends. I just don't have the energy to explain things right now.

Pak this. Gusto kong magpaka layu layo.

I wonder if I should I just go to Cebu.


11:57 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. May 30, 2019

Rely

Minsan, ok lang naman talaga. Kaya ko naman mag-isa.

I'm used to fixing my own sh*t, you know. All cool, I can manage. Pero minsan, mas masaya siguro kung hindi ka mag-isa. Kung meron isang kaluluwa (hopefully, buhay) na kukunin ang ilan sa emotional baggages mo at sasabihing, "bitbitin ko na yan, para hindi masyadong mabigat". Yung ganun.

Self-reliant naman ako, pero kahit ganun, gusto ko parin ng someone na I can rely on to.

------

Revived my dating app account. Ang gulo kasi nung "dating" sa Facebook. Hindi ko ma gets ang setup. So I'm back to the good old app. Updated all my pictures. Keber na kahit antataba ko dun. Infairness, ang ku-cute naman ng mga nag like.

Lol. Ang gulo na ng buhay ko, dume-dating app pa ko. What the eff.

Gusto kong iapply yung natutunan kong formula dun sa financial consulting manual. 15-5-3-1.

Like 15, Chat 5, Date 3... then who knows, maybe I'll stumble to the "One" eventually. Kainis lang, hina ng data.

----

It's 10:24pm. Takte, di na naman ako makatulog.


10:28 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. May 30, 2019


Siguro yung mga ganitong bagay e pinag-iisipan muna. Hinahayaang mag sink in, tas saka na kikilos kung anong pwedeng gawin.

Was just talking to the boss. Said the client's closing Japan lines. Tentative date is June 30. Meaning, wala na kong trabaho. Kung ako lang, I'd pretty much use this to have a time off and think. But I can't do that. I have a family to feed. I already texted Mom. I kinda feel sorry.

The account said I can stay with APAC support and said they'll retain the salary package daw. That's very nice of them. And the people are very nice too, pero...

I don't know. 

Was checking jobstreet. There seem to be a lot of jobs related to mine that can offer higher compensation. Even just the thought of repeating the whole application process exhaust me.

Sana pwedeng hindi nalang ako magtrabaho pero kumita parin ng pera kahit wala akong ginagawa. Don't get me wrong. I love to work and I'm willing to. Sadyang ayoko lang talagang maging empleyado.

Ilang insurance ba ang kailangan kong ibenta para di na ko magtrabaho? E kung magsulat kaya ako ng libro, mabebenta ba na parang hotcakes? E kung mag-asawa nalang kaya ako ng mayaman? Lol.

Sa ngayon, hindi pa naman ako nag pa panic. Baka mamaya pa. Still, I need to arrive at a decision bago mag June, because by then, I only have 30 days to solve this. 

Good Heavens, help me.


11:18 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. May 23, 2019

Wala

Thursday. Nagsisisi ako na hindi ako nag half day leave tomorrow. Anniv party ng club. Gusto ko muna maligo bago pumunta don. Syempre magme-make up at mag-aayos ng kaunti. I bought a baby blue floral dress bilang Havana-Coachella ang theme namin. Ang cute nya, I super like it. Pero mas cute siguro kung mejo mas payat pa ko, pero keber.

I'm a little sad that Jay will just drop by lang daw. I'm detached by default, but I'm pretty attached to people closest to me. It made me feel down for a while pero siguro dapat nagfo-focus sa mga blessings at mabubuting bagay.

Mel said she's coming. Ewan ko lang totoo. LA said, dadaanan nya ko para sabay na kami sa party. Basta kasama ko tong dalawang to, okay narin. Si Bea, for sure, kasama ang boylet. Close din naman ako sa iba pang members. I just want my closest friends to be present. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing the point on why I joined Toastmasters-- to improve my social skills, that is.

Mejo nalulungkot parin ako. Sana maging masaya yung party.

-----

Attending trainings on Sat to prepare myself in selling insurance. Sa totoo lang, I'd rather go home. I have 2 interested buyers already, hindi ko pa natatapos yung briefing. Will be meeting Jer again on Monday. Dear Universe, gusto ko na pong yumaman. Sana ikayaman ko to.

-----

I just got the program flow for a friend's wedding that I'll be hosting on September. Puro pangalan ko yung nasa list, hindi naman ako yung ikakasal. Lol.

I'm from the groom's side. Naiistress ako na tinatanong nya saken kung anong bagay na kulay ng sapatos. Parang gusto kong magpa crash course about fashion.

Lahat ng formal shoes ng kapatid ko, black. Ni hindi ko alam na iba iba pala kulay nun.

Naisip ko lang, sadya bang nahihiya ang mga lalaking tanungin ang bride/gf nila tungkol sa kung ano magandang isuot?

I remember, no one from xyz ever asked me about shoes. Ang wirdo talaga ng mga lalaki.

-----

I heard so many bad things about this dude, it's hard to take risk. Pero kung lagi naman akong vigilant, anong mangyayari sa love life ko? Still... ewan.

Ok naman ako as is. Gusto kong hintayin- more like, hanapin- yung okay talaga para sakin. 

Sabi ni Chinnie, malalaman mo daw na tama ang napili mo depende sa amount ng peace na nararamdaman mo with that person.

Kung peace at peace rin lang, I think I found that peace already. Yun nga lang, yung taong involved, wala namang gusto sakin.


07:02 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. May 9, 2019

Nani mo nai

Having very little sleep is driving me nuts. I feel so walang gana about everything including food. Hindi ko naman kinapayat.

It rained last night. I didn't know the area could be this bad when raining. TM night tomorrow. Finally, human interaction. I wish there will be no rain.

Election long weekend in a couple days. Needed to file a leave since it's not a j-holiday. I'm eyeing Colminares since I like his stand on most of the major national issues. I also like Diokno and Gutoc. I'll probably go Otso Derecho anyway, plus Colmimares. I did try to give the others a chance naman talaga since I think it would be a good balance if we elect people who can support our highest leader, pero wala e. Sabaw talaga. If you think otherwise, please educate me, I'm open to other ideas. Mom is thinking of voting Bong Revilla. I know there's no way to talk her out of it. Please forgive my mother.

Been sick for almost a week now. Feeling ko pinagtutulungan ako ng insomnia, cough at colds.

Gusto ko na bumalik sa Cebu. Or Bohol. Or anywhere other than here.


12:27 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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