Entries in category "木曜日"



Thursday
木曜日: November 4, 2021



It's a really difficult day today. The appointment with the vet was 7:30. Mejo late syang dumating. My cat's surgery ran for just an hour, pero pakiramdam ko, sobrang haba ng araw na to.

Napaiyak ako when I saw how scared Iya was before the surgery. Sabi pa ng doctor, may resistance sya sa anesthesia kaya umiyak daw during operation. Awang awa ako sa pusa ko.

When we got home, she was very scared and didn't seem to recognize me. Seeing her looking so weak from the operation, naiyak na naman ako. Tas nung around 12 na when I'm supposed to make her eat and drink water, naiyak na naman ako dahil ayaw nyang kumain.

Siguro ang nakakaiyak e yung lumaki ng ganito yung pusa ko at never ko syang napalo, only to cause her this much pain dahil lang sa ayoko syang magkaanak. Kahit ilang sorry pa yung sabihin ko sa pusa ko, parang di sapat na compensation para sa pain na pinagdadaanan nya.

I've seen a lot of pages na nag aadvocate ng kapon sa mga hayop, at gets ko naman ang pinaglalaban nila. Hindi ko lang maisip kung paano nila nakayanang makitang ganito yung kundisyon ng alaga nila. Ang hirap. Sobrang hirap.

Hindi kumain si Iya the whole day today. Sabi ng doc, normal daw na walang ganang kumain sa 1st 3 days after ng surgery. Nakakapag alala parin. She used to cry for food less than an hour after getting fed. Madali kasi syang magutom. Tapos ngayon, biglang hindi na sya kumakain.

Problema ko pa kung paano ko sya paiinumin ng gamot bukas. Baka magwala yun, baka bumuka yung sugat. Paano pag di parin sya kumakain?

Sighs, hindi ko talaga alam.

Natatakot akong mawala sakin ang pusa ko. Sana makayanan namin to ni Iya.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:24 PM.

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Kowai yo
木曜日: April 29, 2021



I'm scared, Universe.

Yesterday, someone went to our store and requested for a gcash money transfer, and ran off without paying.

Today naman, there were 2 people who called claming they were scammed money that was transferred to our gcash, and all the transfers were claimed by the same person. When I checked mom's messager, someone had sent her a message na rin pala last month with the same complaint. This time, with the full name of the person involved. Their transactions look nowhere near legal. We have filed a formal complaint to the cyber crime online. Ipapablotter din namin ang taong ito bukas. Nakakatakot, my God. Sana praning lang kami. Naiisip ko kasi na baka abangan nalang kami papunta sa baranggay. 

Earlier, I sat beside mom to tell her I'm scared and rested my head on her shoulder half jokingly. She shrugged my  head off her shoulder, so I went to my room and hugged my kittens instead. I wish that they'd live well no matter what happens to me.

The last complainant I talked to made me all the more scared. Natatakot talaga ko.

Dad earlier thought that we were just being OA. Until more complaints came, now he's refusing to say anything, all because we challenged his opinion.

I wish the supposed head of the house was not this immature. I also wish he had more spine. I understand that he's old. I just wish he have more conviction. Or at least the power to make us feel safe, even if it's not true. I don't know. Though we're still not on speaking terms, I had to rely on my brother's backbone because I had no other choice.

I hate spineless men.

I can feel how Mom is trying to keep my brother out of this though. I know she's protecting her favorite child, so she plans to endure this alone with her less favorite one (myself). I remember her saying na hindi nya daw kaya kung may mangyari kay kuya. I guess she's okay if it's me.

Ok lang. I just want to get through all these. I'm just so worried about my kittens. What will happen to them if I die?

This also made me realize that if I am to live independently, I need to grow stronger spine than this in order to protect myself and the things (animals) that I care about.

It's one thing to feel alone, you know., But to feel alone even when you're with your people is another. It's way sadder. Tapos alone ka na nga, scared ka pa. Ang saya! Haha. Huhu.

Please pray for me.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:41 PM.

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4:28
木曜日: March 25, 2021



I woke up 5:30 am today with barely any sleep. I was browsing the net for ways to cure my kittens and I came accross an article that showed a lost of symptoms that if you found in your kittens, you need to send them to the vet immediately daw. My kittens have those symptoms. 

I was worried the entire night, I slept past 1am, yet woke up even before the alarm rang. Was too worried to eat breakfast, I left the house with my kittens with an empty stomach. Pag balik ko, lunch time na, but needed the leave again to buy meds.

Sobrang nakakapanic ang araw na to. Nicai seemed a little better, but the other kitten, Iya, looked more lethargic than ever, samantalang kahapon mas masigla pa sya kesa kay Nicai. Feeling ko tuloy nakasama pa na dinala ko sila sa vet. Huhu.

Both of them were vomitting, though si Nicai, mas receptive sa water na may dextrose powder, and she's also eating. It was around past 2pm when I had my first decent meal of the day, then halfway the meal, Mom called me out telling me na naghihingalo na daw si Iya.

Hayst. Ewan. I don't want to let go of my kittens. I can't. Ayaw. I forcibly fed her and made her drink rehydrating solution. The vomiting stopped. Nagka energy na rin syang tumalon para tumago sa kabilang bakod. Sabi ng doctor, every 2-3 hours daw dapat ipapainom yung rehydrating solution, I make them drink more often than that. Grabe yung relief na nafeel ko nung after ko syang piliting kumain ulet, lumapit sya sa nanay nya at nagdede.

Hopeful parin ako na my kittens will get through all these. That they will recover and be back to their happy and maharot selves.

Universe, please.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:45 PM.

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Sui
木曜日: March 17, 2021



Just wrapped up my work week. Yebah!

Gusto ko lang sabihin na mabait naman pala ang bago naming TL. Pumayag sya na gamitin ko yung SL ko para sa APE nang wala masyadong hanash. Now I'm not sure if letting my workmates know about it was a good idea. Mukhang lahat sila balak na mag SL.

Know what, I kinda feel sorry for our new TL. Kabago bago lang nya, na encounter nya na kagad ang taong gaya ni Robert. I wonder how the new TL is handling the whole thing. Robert will never run out of complaints, for sure. Napikon nga ako kasi ang bastos nya kanina. Kahit si Wendy yung nakikipag usap sa kanya sumabat na ko. Bastos e. Kala mo boss sya kung makapagsalita. Kahit sa mga TL, kung makaasta sya, kala mo sya yung nagpapasahod. Nakaka hb. Hahaha.

Sa totoo lang, wala naman akong personal na galit kay Robert. Naiiinis lang ako sa mga ginagawa nya. At mejo nabwisit ako nung nagsalita sya like that kay Wendy. She's one of the most hardworking members of the team. Sobrang dedicated nung taong yun, bukod sa magaling pa sya sa ginagawa nya. Walang karapatan ang isang tulad lang ni Robert na pagsalitaan sya ng ganun.

Well ayun lang naman. Di na sumagot si Robert sa sinabi ko. Ewan ko kung nabasa nya. Keber na. Hindi ko sya uurungan. Tae sya. Hahaha.

-----

So, "weekend" ko na naman bukas. Mamimiss ko yung officemate ko na may poging boses at gwapong profile pic, kahit never pa kami nag-usap ever. Haha.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 06:48 PM.

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Souji day
木曜日: March 4, 2021



Ang totoo nyan, hindi talaga ako masyadong naglilinis ng bahay. Nakakatamad kasi. Pero mula nang magkaron ako ng dalawang kuting na pinapatulog ko sa kwarto ko sa gabi (I sleep in my parents' bedroom). Napilitan akong maglinis every morning dahil araw araw they leave their jebs.

Share ko lang the things that I find quite amusinh dahil sa bagong skill na matutunan ko.

1, e I love this tool called "wiper mop" or just "wiper". Sabi sa isang review sa shopee, pangit daw at di nakakalinis. But after havinh tried it, feeling ko talaga e this is Universe's gift to mankind. I don't think this is meant to clean anything. I think its purpose e to move the water towards the drain in a super efficient manner. Kung gagamit ka kasi ng mop, magpipiga ka pa. Grabe, ang laking ginhawa ng merong wiper.

2, well, there is thing cleaning agent called Domex that I bought in the market. Dati I sprinkle Surf powder after removing the poo, then mop. After non, nandun parin yung smell, so kailangan pang sprayan  ng lysol.

But with a few drops of domex, then a few swipes with mop, the entire room will smell sparkling clean already. Amaze na amaze ako sa Domex.

Ayun lang naman. Lol.

Rest day ko today. Tuna sisig ang ulam namin mamaya. Excited na ko.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:52 AM.

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Yatto shumatsu da
木曜日: March 4, 2021



Spent half of the day troubleshooting some network issue. Officemates helped na, di parin na resolve. Called local IT, and after over 4 hours, waley parin. Good thing there's a workaround. I'm scared that if this network issue continues, e pabalikin na ko sa office. Ayaw. Huhu.

My 6 years old niece is at the height of her kakulitan at her age. Kanina while I was on call, she was shouting on top of her lungs. The last time I told her off, my brother caused a huge commotion in the house. We stopped speaking with eachother since then.

I plan to build my own house. Because I want to have some peace. Gusto ko rin ma feel na may power sa sarili kong pamamahay, ganun. If this will happen soon, I might need to bring my cat/s. But if later in life, I plan not to have any pets so I'll be free to leave or travel anytime. Freedom is whole point afterall.

The sooner the better though.

------

I haven't been feeling good these days. But to achieve peace, maybe I should learn to accept that there will really be days like this, and that's fine.

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Watching True Beauty now. Not bad naman, but the characters are too young, I can't relate with them at all. Might rewatch Mr. Queen this "weekend". Grabe, miss na miss ko na si King at Queen.

On Friday, we'll be going back to the hospital.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:31 AM.

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12:45
木曜日: February 4, 2021



Things are pretty bad, Universe.

My head hurts from the crying fiesta earlier, and my I'm still having clogged nose.

I asked the Heavens what to do, 'coz I really didn't know.

Running away shouldn't be so hard. I can rent a unit near the office, bring my cat with me, then work onsite so I wouldn't have to think about the internet connection. 

BUT I want to be with my parents. They're old. I want to stay with them while they're still here.

Also, will my cat survive being locked in the house all day?

Maybe rent-to-own house can also be an option. But I still need to think about the internet so I can continue working. Converge took months before they were able to set up our connection. Plus, if my parents will come with me, I'll need to bring 3 dogs and 4 cats with us. Ok lang ba yun?

Ang plano ko talaga, buy a lot, design my own house. I will commission Kuya Roel to build it for me. I will have a big, cozy bathroom with hot shower and bathtub. Tapos malaki yung garden para sa mga alaga kong hayop at mga halaman. Ito talaga ang gusto ko, but I'm pretty sure I can't afford it just yet.

So yeah. I think I'll just suck it up again this time. I'll buy a cage for my cat so he wouldn't go around biting people. This is just our best option at the moment. I feel sorry for my cat, pero masama rin kasi talaga yung ugali ng pusa ko. I really don't know na. Huhu.

--------

February didn't start so well. Lunes pa lang harassed na harassed na ko sa trabaho. But I guess I also need to suck up this one too. Syempre kailangan ko ng pera.

I filed a leave Feb 22 to 24, right next to my rest days para straight 5 days akong walang trabaho. I don't know what I'm gonna do with my free time. Maybe I'd put up a YouTube channel in the hope to earn money easily.

Sabi nung isang Vlogger na malaki na ang kinikita sa YT, madaldal daw sya kaya naisipan nyang maging Vlogger. I don't know how this will work for me when I'm not really madaldal.

Basta alam ko lang, gusto ko na yumaman.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:22 AM.

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Uly
木曜日: November 12, 2020



Brown out mula kaninang madaling araw. Kaninang umaga, nawalan na rin ng tubig. Syempre walang WIFI. May data naman ako, but I need to conserve my phone's battery. 56% left.

May mga lumipad na yero. Pinasok din ng tubig ulan yung kwarto ko at kwarto nila mama. Basa pa rin ang sahig.

My niece is playing with her dad sa sala. I just want a dry and quiet place to sit. Wala akong matambayan. Ang ingay. Ang init. Nakakairita.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:19 PM.

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Mou Oboenai
木曜日: October 1, 2020



I tried to remember how it felt like. Pero wala, hindi ko talaga maalala.

I told the Heavens how I felt like maybe it's pointless to ask for the nth time when He had let me down so many times before.

I know that God owes me nothing, at hindi ko sya genie na obligadong ibigay lahat ng hiling ko.

I hate this helplessness.

Alas dos na. Wala akong pasok ng huwebes kaya hindi kailangan gumising ng maaga. I'd probably still wake up early though. By early, meaning 7am-is. My body has this habit of kicking me out of bed around this hour in the morning.

Sa totoo lang, I feel unwell. Most days, I don't really feel like waking up at all.

I am once again turning a year older in a few days.

Sometimes I feel like 35 is a too long years to live.

Cristina died before 30. She sort of predicted that.

Joven was 25. Jeff was 28. Joie... I forgot.

Siguro sadyang mahirap lang ang mga panahong ito.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:56 AM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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