Entries in category "木曜日"
I'm upset.
Nagsabi na ko sa TL namin that I'll be late today dahil pinapabalik ako ng doctor. Sobrang sakit ng procedure ngayon sa kabila ng anesthesia. Ngayon lang ako naiyak sa sakit dahil sa operasyon. Iniisip ko kung may lihim na galit ba sakin tong doctor na to. In fairness naman, mas maginhawa na yung pakiramdam ng sugat ko after the operation.
Pero naiinis ako. I felt wronged. Feeling ko naperahan ako sa hostipal na to. Para sa pigsa, nagbayad ako last Tuesday around 18k tas today 37k! 37!!!!! E mas simpler yung procedure now kesa the last time, tas mas mahal pa? Hindi na kinover lahat ng hmo at philhealth kaya nag shell out pa ko ng 3k plus. Hindi pa kasama yung mga gamot. Ang kadudaduda pa e yung PF ng doc e 7k lang nung Tuesday, tas ngayon, 13k na. I can't help but think na dahil to sa alam nilang pupunta ako sa Japan. I needed to tell them, otherwise, I wouldn't know if it's safe to travel with this. Kala ba nila mayaman ako kaya nila ako pineperahan?
Nagkabiruan din kasi so I ended up telling them na magkakape lang ako kaya ako magja Japan, which was actually true.
I always dress na parang pulubi twing pupunta ako dun, napagkamalan pa rin ba nila akong mayayaman? Dahil lang mag ja Japan ako? Feeling ko naloko ako, it's not a happy feeling. The staff were kind to me, pero naiinis parin ako.
Open yung wound ko. Gaano na naman kaya kalaki ang huhuthutin nila sakin sa pagbalik ko sa hospital. Safe kaya lumipat ng doctor in my condition? I'm mad, pero hindi ako makapag maldita dahil feeling-close na sakin yung mga staff. And mabait yung isang babaeng doctor na kinocomfort ako pag natatakot na ko. Naiinis ako. Alam mo yung feeling na dinaya, niloko, inagrabyado, pinerahan... hindi masaya!
Bukod pa don, I also need to clean and dress the wound on my own habang nasa Japan. Ang dami kong hinaing sa buhay these days. Naiirita at naiiyak ako. For one, ayoko ng dugo. May pinapasok din na parang papel dun sa pinaka sugat. Fuck%&@shit, ang sakit. Kaya ko ba to? Well, wala naman akong choice. Kung sila maglilinis ng sugat, baka 50k na sunod nilang singilin sakin. Nakakainis. Ano bang gagawin ko para hindi na ako maabuso?
4 days ako sa Japan. 2 days, kakainin lang ng flight papunta at pabalik, so I only have 2 full days to explore. I initially plan to go to Kamakura, pero yung reservation ko sa coffee shop na gusto kong puntahan at sa exhibit ni Harada-sensei, mejo hindi maganda ang pagkaka arrange. Bukod pa dun, gusto kong i-explore sa Ikebukuro for BL related stuff.
Gusto kong mag BL goodies hunting, pero gusto ko ring mag kamakura. Pwede naman i-jam-packed ko yung schedule ko, pero baka mapagod lang ako at marami akong mamiss na magical moments na nakita ko sana if I slowed down. Well, bahala na.
Sana makabalik pa ko sa Japan, tas kasama ko na sila mama. Dahil di wholesome yung pupuntahan kong exhibit, hindi ko sila isasama. Hindi pa clear ang future ko sa office. Sana makabalik pa rin ako.
Hayst. Ano bang pwede gawin sa namemerang doctor? Pano ko magsusurvive having to clean my own wound hanggang sa makarating ako sa Japan? Ano bang gagawin ko sa buhay ko?
Nakakairita. Nakakatakot. Gusto ko nalang kumita ng 1 million pesos monthly.
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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:52 PM.
Takte, malupitang pagpipigil ang ginagawa ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. Gusto ko kasing bumili ng bagong sapatos, pero kailangang kong isipin na nagmahal na ang bilihin at hindi ako pwede lumagpas sa budget.
My parents are using fake crocs shoes pag pumupunta sa palengke. Sira na yung gamit nila at pinapasukan na ng tubig. I want to buy them the original one. Syempre, 1 pair for myself too. Yung pale yellow, or yung may smileys print. Tapos gusto ko isang lacoste, isang jordan, at isang addidas... or siguro Dr. Martens, hindi ko nga lang alam kung kasya sa binti ko... also, totoong hayop ata ang dr. Martens... isesearch ko siguro muna, pero gusto ko talaga nun. Kung di yun gawa sa totoong hayop, I'll buy one. Grabe nasa 5k lang dati ang Dr. Martens, ngayon over 10k na.
I want to buy 4 more pairs for myself, tapos ititigil ko na ang di makatarungang pag gasta. Kaya ko yun.
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Nakakatamad. I want change.
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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:34 PM.
Probably because I've been wearing this pride cap at work, I wonder if people are thinking that I swing that way.
There is this girl who keeps telling me na ang ganda ganda ko. Lately, may very light na paghawak hawak na syang nalalaman. I don't know for sure, but she does look like a lesb*an. It's fine if she is. It's just that, I've been wondering if all this act is because she's thinking I swing that way too and see me as a kindred spirit... or is she actually hitting on me?
Well, my bad for causing the misunderstanding. See, I wear cap because I'm getting stomach gas pag nalalamigan ang ulo ko. I chose this pride design as a testament of my love for BL, and because I find the rainbow thingy design quite cute
I'm super open about things, and I think I'm willing to explore. I don't think it will ever work with a girl though, because I absolutely don't have any interest in a woman's body. I mean... if gay people cannot help that they're gay, I guess straight people also cannot help that they're straight.
Well, I don't know. Baka wala lang naman talaga.
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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:19 PM.
Last Monday, an officemate lost her mother. She went home halfway her shift. She texted around 7pm on our GC that her mother was sent to the ICU. Around 8PM, she said her mother left her already.
I can imagine the pain. It's something I don't want myself, nor anyone else, to go through. Ano bang pwedeng sabihin sa taong nagluluksa?
Today, just like everyday, hinatid ako ni mama sa may kanto pasakay sa bus on my way to work. She said "babye, nak", when I was about to get inside the bus. I can't imagine losing my mother. Just the thought of it makes me feel like crying already. Hindi ko talaga kaya yun.
Hayyyy.
Ano bang sasabihin ko sa officemate ko pag balik nya sa work?
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Written by cinderellaareus at 06:57 AM.
Ang daming absent due to sickness kanina. There were only 2 agents, including myself. Chill naman nung morning until pumalo na yung Indian business hours.
Workmates I haven't talked to before started talking to me since konti lang kami at that time. Then, I was on a Teams call, and they were still talking, until the conversation went into something like this:
WM1: Alam mo na ba hitsura ni *insert my name here*? Ang ganda nya kaya.
WM2: Talaga ba? Patingin nga. *Walks in front of my seat*. Oo nga no.
*****
Ang sakin lang, sakali mang makita nila ang hitsura ko behind the face mask, hindi ko naman siguro kasalanan kung ma disappoint sila, di ba?
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Hybrid wfh setup na ang mga agents from Japan, Poland, and China. Kami na nasa Pinas, matira matibay parin.
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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:36 PM.
1. Back to work, and super sleepy.
2. I'll be taking a leave next week, so that will be a long "weekend" for me.
3. I want more sleep.
4. I've realized how looks matters, and how most people are attracted with good looks, yet very few people actually do something about their own looks to make themselves attractive no? Well, that's a bit understandable. Magsuklay nga lang, nakakatamad na.
5. Kailangan ko na mag diet.
6. Wendy's Shrimp Burger is one of my favorite burgers in the world.
7. I miss having action-packed life.
8. I feel like I should start to actively go out on "friendly dates" again, kaso nakakatamad lumabas.
9. Conversing with people via chat is good, but if you want to get to know people, I guess the quicker and more efficient way is meeting them face to face.
10. Kumasa ako sa weight-loss challenge with a female officemate, tas parehas kaming mahilig magpadeliver ng food. Good luck.
11. I really want to start dating this year. Wish me luck, I guess.
12. Came accross a pinoy comics website. Pretty nice, with a number of BL too, though most are ongoing. Someday, I will post my on manga there. : )
13. I want to work on becoming the woman I wish to become. Siguro yung may shoulder length, beach wave hair, tas with bolder color, siguro blond. Tas very slim. Tas tamang feminine, pero bad ass parin. ^<
14. Jeez, I keep updating this list.
15. What the eff can I do to be so good in drawing comics like Kashenori?
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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:57 AM.
I must've gone a little overboard today. On our clan's GC, the talk about separating Lola's land amongst her children is ongoing. There were a few misunderstandings, and I wasn't very calm when I reacted. It could've been worse if Mom wasn't there to constantly tell me to be careful with my words. Just for today, alam ko, I was at fault.
Tita was said to have ran off with my other tita's money. If I'd listen to what I truly feel about this, deep down, I really think Tita didn't do any of that. But the other stronger part of me chose to believe my other tita, who was the victim. Siguro dun nanggaling yung hostility ko kanina. Just now, I started feeling bad, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it. Maybe I should send a quick sorry to Tita, no?
Kanina pa nagpapapansin ang pamangkin ko sakin. Gusto nya kasi makipaglaro. But I was busy consulting people about our land, answering our GC and stuff. Kawawa naman yung pamangkin ko.
I'm not super close with my titas, kaya masaya ako na I have so much better relationship with my own niece. My nephew is still too young, but I hope we'll be as close. I love my neice and nephew to bits, it will really break my heart if they will see me the way I see my titas when they get older. Sana maging close parin kami when they grow up.
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I just sent a quick sorry to Tita. Kinda feel better now.
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I didn't have enough dose of BL today, that's why I'm all cranky.
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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:06 PM.
1:14AM. Jeez, gising pa ko. Alarm is set at 4:45. Tokwa, wala na akong itutulog.
Been reading manga until past 11. Must be the reason why I can't sleep. I remember the doc used to warn me about using cellphone before bedtime back when I was complaining about insomnia.
I'm grateful that I have a job. But if I can choose better, and if money is not an issue, I'd like to go back to school. Maybe I'd study graphic arts, or anything that will get me closer into creating films, literary works, or whatever. I want to create stories and touch the heart of many people. Gaya nung nararamdaman ko whenever I find a good manga, book, anime na sobrang nagugustuhan ko. Maybe I can write a book, but I think I really like to do films. Instead of creating my craft alone, I think I'd like to collaborate with brilliant people.
I should've picked ECE as my college course, instead of Civil Engineering. I picked the course because of my love for math and drawing. I think ECE can also give me that.
Oh well, it's all done now. I can only more forward.
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I gained 3 effin kilos lately. Mom's and Dad's birthdays are only a few weeks apart, kaya sunod sunod ang kainan dito sa bahay. Kailangan ko na mag diet.
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Teka, tokwa, kailangan ko na talaga matulog.
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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:38 AM.
My 1st Tabulas account was created 2004. Been here for 18 years na pala. Thanks, dear Roy, for keeping this site up. Really, thanks.
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Rest day today. Naglaba ako ng rubber shoes at payong, naglinis ng kwarto ng pusa, nagpakain ng pusa, nag breakfast, then by the time I was done, alas onse na. BL manga time na. Lol.
I want to go out and have a brazilian treatment for my hair, pero nagtitipid ako. Isasabay ko nalang siguro sa diode session ko on August 3.
A lot of things scare me these days, I've been trying hard not to think. I can't plan my own future because I'm afraid of what's in there... or maybe more afraid of what will not be there anymore.
Mom said she dreamt of her parents. They're both dead. I don't know what's the meaning of dreaming of dead people. I used to dream of Cristina a lot after she passed away.
I wish I can keep my parents forever.
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Dad's siblings are planning to separate their land. This is the same land where we live. One of my Titas plans to sell her share to us. My brother will buy it daw. Mom said I can keep Dad's share. I'm not really interested. I'd probably just give this to my neice, so that my nephew can have his dad's share for himself. Well, it will change a little if Brother will have more babies in the future.
I'd probably get a condo. It will be less hassle to maintain in case I'll be needing to leave the house a lot. I need to think about the cats though.
Ugh! I don't want to think about the future anymore.
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Got a lot of things I wish to buy, but maybe not yet. Maybe once I reached my target savings. For the mean time, I'll dump the list here.
1. Nike air rubber shoes
2. Crocs sandals
3. Decent flats
4. Decent choker
5. Cropped pants
6. G-shock wrist watch
7. Converse shoes
8. Shouchie beanie
9. 3-level Cat tower condo
10. Cat scratcher
Feeling a little sad lately. I think I should meet my friends. It's LA's birthday early August. There are plans to meet. If I am to meet them, I need a place to sleepover since I have work the following day. I can just sleep in our usual spa, but that's in Makati pa. Is there any spa around QC na may sleeping area? Please drop recommendations. TIA!
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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:38 AM.
