Entries in category "Thursday"


Thursday. April 12, 2018

行け~

A lot of things to do. I'm just happy it's Friday tomorrow. 

Activities were already plotted for the weekend,  I had to bail out for the ones that landed on Sunday because I really want to have at least a day of rest. Sana magbunga lahat ng pagpupunyagi for whatever "pagpupunyagi" means. 

A lot of things making me sad today but I don't even have the energy to mourn.

Lol. This is lame. 

Know what, though my friends and I have a lot of things in common, we're just worlds apart when it comes to the way we deal with the matters of the heart. 

I remember when the guy B was dating suddenly stopped seeing her. She wanted to know why because she doesn't want to go on wondering. Maybe because B is a strong woman who can handle the truth. I'm just totally different. 

If you no longer want me, then just go. Don't drop hints. Don't bother to explain. I wouldn't want to know why anyway. It's bad enough that you came only to break my heart. At least have the decency to leave me with my pride intact. 

...

Ilang frogs pa ba bago dumating yung prince?

Pagod na ko, Universe.


Written by cinderellaareus at 10:14 PM.

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Thursday. April 5, 2018

against the current

its feels like swimming upstream.

or maybe climbing up a mountain, fighting gravity.

well, not that ive tried any of these.

jay told me she doesnt want to hear what the boy has to say na. she's probably fed up and i understand. i told her though that she has to be there because we need her. i know im too soft for these sheeesh.

sometimes i wish there's someone among us who will agree with me so that i wont feel so abnormal. lol.

sabi kasi nila pag may masakit daw ibig sabihin may mali. since masakit, ibig sabihin siguro mali. well, hindi ko naman talaga alam.

i will negotiate for another chance for the boy, even if i too think that he's an as*hole. im doing this not because he deserve this but because... i dont know. this is what feels right for me.

they may not listen, but i want to at least try.


Written by cinderellaareus at 03:54 PM.

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Thursday. March 22, 2018

pcs

A lot of things are breaking my heart today that i'm surprised i'm even standing.

pero sa tingin ko talaga PMS lang to. pak this.

lakas ko pa kumain kung kelan i plan to wear swimsuit sa outing namin this sat.

pero keber. magsi swimsuit ako. sana lang kasya.

namimiss ko na mag swimming. the last time i swim was 2 weeks ago.

------

we handed one of our pups to his new owner. soon, the others will go too, leaving only my riri behind.

the new owner of the 1st pup lives just accross the house so everytime i hear a wailing animal, i go crazy.

this is just so heartbreaking. i know mom's heartbroken too. if only we can give them a better life here. T_T

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"Savings namin un ni Zah. Sabi ko sa kanya mag** ulit sya dun para makaipon kami."

a friend sent me a screenshot from the convo she had with the boy.

The "kami ni zah" joke. Bow.

sighs.

pag kami lang, hindi naman sya ganyan kalandi.

alam ko naman joke lang.

pero di ba, jokes are half meant?

still, joke parin.

...

putek, nako confuse ako.

ayoko na nga.


Written by cinderellaareus at 03:34 PM.

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Thursday. February 8, 2018

Tsumaranai hou ga ii

It's taking so much of me to prevent myself from going to NBS' book binge bazaar starting tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'd go bankrupt if I do. Oh Gawd... T_T

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Kaitlyn's sick for 2 days now. I feel sick myself too. I wonder if caught Kaitlyn's fever. Or maybe I'm just feeling lazy. It's really hard to tell the difference, you know.

Sabi sa nabasa ko, kung employer ka looking for someone to hire, pick someone who has integrity, talent/intelligence and high ambition daw. Pero kung wala kang choice and you really need to pick someone without integrity, just make sure that he's stupid and really really lazy. Bottom line is, mejo suicide para sa company mo yung someone na smart and highly ambitious tas walang integrity. I think, this makes sense.

I no longer question my integrity at this point in my life. Matalino at talented din naman ako... Sabi ng nanay ko. But then I also know how I tend to very very lazy at times, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to humanity.

I realize too that I'm at my happiest when I work...

So... Ano na?

Shucks... Nakakatamad.

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Lately, araw araw akong nagpapasalamat sa Langit for how boring my life is. Ibig sabihin kasi, my family is okay, no one is very very sick and we don't have any earth shattering problems.

I thank God, my life is boring.


Written by cinderellaareus at 08:36 AM.

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Thursday. February 1, 2018

悲しみ

Waiting for the "kalaban" who hasn't come yet. I cant watch K/Jdramas in peace. I just finished "Yamada-kun to shichinin no majo" yesterday and I'm looking for a new one to watch.

Was judging based on genre and comments. I was particularly struck when a comment thread was discussing about how Jdramas are better compared to Kdramas when it comes to the 'slice of life' kind of series. I totally agree. A commenter said though that he's watching to escape reality, and if he wants to learn something about life, he wouldve watched his own life or his family's instead. I was thinking the same thing.

Maybe that's why Hwayugi.

Maybe that's why Goblin.

------

Red days suck. Making me unnecessarily emo.

Scared about a few things too. I know.

But I guess, what will come will come. We just have to face it when it does... and then let it pass from there.

------

Super blue blood moon last night. Mom announced, so i was able to watch. The moon is a star too, right? Sabi nila, when you wish upon a star daw, it will always come true. Lalo na nga't special ang moon last night. I still want the same thing. I just want to go away...

Escape reality, huh?

I cant wait to watch the next ep of Hwayugi.

{ mood } sad


Written by cinderellaareus at 01:56 PM.

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Thursday. January 25, 2018

dokidokisuru

1st GE stint outside our club tomorrow. i intended to say no when i was invited. nahihiya lang talaga ko kay erika. besides, di ba do something that scares you? wahhhhhh! puteeeek, this is sure scary.

neri's going with me. she also invited some of her boys and 2 agreed. i think that's the nice thing about having a pretty friend. you'll never go alone as long as you're with her, plus, she'll bring her "bodyguards" along. lel.

-----

ive been pretty ok these past few days. naniniwala ako magiging ok ang lahat.

fighting and all smiles.


Written by cinderellaareus at 03:42 PM.

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Thursday. January 11, 2018

Edge

Sabi nila, pag against the wall ka na daw or over the edge ka na, equipped daw ang tao ng ability na alisin ang sarili nya sa sitwasyon na yon to the point na makakagawa sya ng incredible feat.

Pure hell forces action. Pure hell. Sighs.

Feeling ko kumo quota na ko sa buntong hininga lately.

Received some bad news. In a way, siguro blessings na rin to. For one, napabalik ulet ako sa chapel para maka heart to heart talk si God. Siguro namimiss Nya na ko dahil matagal tagal na rin akong hindi dumadaan dun.

I've been against the wall for some time and bad news like this make me feel like the Universe is pushing me further back. Siguro pinapakilos Nya na talaga ko. Sana sabihin Nya nalang rin saken kung anong gagawin ko.

Sighs.

Still, I'm glad that I still feel hopeful. But then hope is not a plan. 

Sighs ulet.

Kaya ok na rin siguro na may mga problema kasi yung mga problema lang naman ang nakakapagpakilos saken at hindi yung hope. Hindi masyadong effective ang inspiration kaya siguro desperation nalang ang binibigay saken ng langit.

Sighs again.

Pero kahit ano pa yan, kaya ko yan. Bring it on, Universe (naks, antapang....).


Written by cinderellaareus at 11:06 PM.

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Thursday. January 11, 2018

Breakfast thoughts

Last Tuesday, we watched The Revengers Squad all because that was the only one option left with the time that we had. Was surprised that it wasn't as bad as I thought.

If there's one thing that Ang Larawan failed at, siguro yun e dahil they forgot to think about their audience. They produced an art for the sake of art and that was all. I think art is there to serve people, to serve humanity. Kung gagawa ka ng art for the sake of art, then you're missing the whole point. The Revengers Squad beat Ang Larawan at that.

.....

Gusto ko ring gumawa ng films na kahit artsy, magugustuhan parin ng maraming tao.

Gusto ko rin gumawa ng films. Period.


Written by cinderellaareus at 08:13 AM.

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Thursday. December 7, 2017

Nakanaide

4 na oras kong tiniis ang wiwi ko para matapos ko yung ginagawa kong online shop. Naalala ko nung una akong nagtayo ng online shop. Akala ko non, mabebenta na parang hotcakes ang paninda ko. 4 failed online businesses later, now i know better. Nakakatakot. Pero at least alam ko sa sarili ko na sinusubukan ko parin.

Maganda ring diversion pag busy. This is the only thing that's keeping me from crying. Pero siguro ang luha na gustong lumabas, dapat pinapalabas. Parang jebs? 2-3 hours ang byahe ko pauwi. Ang hirap maging busy pag nasa loob ka ng bus so mahirap pigilang mag-isip. Ang hirap hindi umiyak. Ang nakakainis sa luha e yung pag may pumatak n na isa, magsusunuran na yung iba. Tas kahit magmakaawa ka na, "tama na please. Awat na," tutulo parin sila. Naiinggit ako sa mga taong pag umiyak e pagkapunas ng luha, parang wala nang nangyari. Hindi kasi ganun saken. Pag umiyak ako, 30 minutes na lumipas, mukha parin akong bagong iyak. Worst part e the following day, mamaga yung mata ko at magmumukha akong frog. Timing, may yearend party kami bukas.

Halfway na ko ng byahe ayaw parin paawat ng mata ko. Unli? Bakit ba ko umiiyak?

I sent my message and was met with silence. It wasn't the first time and I'm not the type who would demand reaction to anyone. I guess what's painful was that I knew that this won't be the last and that maybe this will always be like this from now on. I remembered the louder days. I guess that was what's making me cry. See, I'm crying again. Putek.

I've been in situations way tougher, pero ayoko ng ganito. Tumitiklop talaga ko sa ganito. The last time I felt like this, I left. Hindi ko kasi talaga kaya yung ganito. But i can't leave now. I can't leave prematurely because that would cause suspicions, it might make things worst. I have to stay put for the next three months and it's killing me already.

I already told the Heavens. I've already done everything in my power to fix things. Now, He have to do the rest I guess.

I wish that He will also make me stop crying. I hate how I have so very little control of my tear ducts.


Written by cinderellaareus at 10:02 PM.

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