Entries in category "木曜日"


木曜日. October 10, 2019

15

Mga kababawan lang naman. Sa totoo lang, hindi na kami masyadong nag kwe kwentuhan nung crush ko. Palakad lakad kasi yun sa office na parang supervisor at kung kani kanino nakikipag kwentuhan. Pero bilang parehas kami ng shift, sabay kami umuuwi. 15 minutes. Mga ganun katagal na usapan na puro kakulitan lang naman. Pero alam mo, gusto ko tong taong to.

Said the account is eyeing him to be one of the TLs. Pinag oot nga sya today to do "shadowing" or something para dun sa magiging bagong position nya. Pero wag ka, that dude ran out of the office after me, saying "wait for me!" Lol. Nakita pa sya ng isang SME pauwi, asking him "di ba sabi ko mag ot ka", but he somehow charmed his way out of it.

15 minutes.

Sabi nya, if he's to become a TL, he wants to handle APAC daw para pang-umaga. Ang gulo siguro pag sya na naging boss ko. I also asked him, "so hindi ka na aalis?" And he was like, "hindi na." Yehey! Pero magulo kasi yung taong yun. Siguro maniniwala lang ako pag mid 2020 na at nandito parin sya. Sana nandito pa rin ako nun.

Something bothers me though. Alam mo bang nalungkot ako nung nag resign si Perry? Tapos eto na naman. TL Jek talked to us about it na. Balak nya daw umalis. Di pa daw sure, pero may plan na. Hands down ako sa taong yun. Sobrang bait nya samin. At so far, hindi nya pa ko nilalagay sa pang gabi at sobrang lenient nya. Sweet din yun e. Malakas lang mang asar, pero sweet. So sobrang nakakalungkot. Di ba pwedeng wala nalang aalis?

Teka... pwede ba kong malungkot? Ni hindi ko nga alam kung hanggang kelan ako pag tyatyagaan ng account na ito...


09:45 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. September 26, 2019

Family x crush

Been feeling kinda low for days despite having some people close to me around. I thought maybe I was feeling homesicked, so I packed my bad and went home last night.

Dad picked me up from the bus stop. Mom was already asleep. I only had a few exchanges with Brother when he got downstairs for a while to get something.

This morning, I woke up and saw my niece in their room. I gave her a kiss and rubbed her cute tummy. Dad was still asleep when I visited them on the next room. The dog wouldn't even turn her head when I called her name. That was about it. But I guess this is already enough. Now I feel all ready to take on the day with a happy heart. Thank God for family.

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Kung bading si Crush, at may idea ka kung paano sya pakiligin bilang parehas kayong pusong babae... mahuhulog kaya sya sa arms mo sa ganitong strategy?

LOL. Humanap na tayo ng maayos na crush, Z.

But then again, crush lang naman. Hindi ko naman pakakasalan. Why sweat it? LOL.


10:32 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. September 21, 2019

Family x Life

Was on my home when I got a message from Brother that they are in the hospital. Sis-in-law was in ER because her BP was shooting up endangering her pregnancy. Today, they killed 4000 pesos because of that.

It must be tough getting pregnant in your 30s. She's 2 years younger than I am. Paano pa kaya ko? My BP has always been low though.

Mom managed to convince my neice to leave her parents at the hospital and go back home. I was tasked to be her yaya for a few hours. We were in their room and while watching Power Ranger, she said out of the blue, "babay, Mommy." She wasn't crying, but there were droplets of tears stucked at the corner of her eye.

Z: Bakit ka nagbababay kay Mommy?

K: Kasi may sakit sya e.

I explained to my niece that her mom's gonna come back. They're just waiting for the doctor who is probably having lunch and that her mom's gonna be ok.

I squeezed my niece in a tight hug. I feel like my heart is not made to handle children. It hurts me so when my niece is being like this, and I'm not even her mother.

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Got home past 3AM last night. We had an afters, and I feel like it's been a while since I laughed so hard, I was having stitches. I really love these people. There are just few things I'm worried about regarding the executive committee. We're already halfway the term. I wish we will be able to work this out by the following months. After this term, I'm gonna be free na. With more time in my hands, I want to explore my options and have a concrete plan on what to do with my life. I hope I still have my work by that time.

Speaking of work, I just hit the 2-month mark last September 12. An officemate often tease me because I keep calling myself "shinjin"(new person) to which he passionately disagree. Now he always greet me, "hello, Shinjin-san" para mang-asar. In fairness to him, I do feel like I've been here for a long enough time already though. Well, save for my shinjin-level skills, that is.

Well-paid, well-treated, very low workload. Ano pa bang hahanapin ko? Ang sabaw nga lang ng mga calls ko lately, iniisip ko kung hanggang kailan kaya nila ako mapagtyatyagaan dito. While here, I think I really should save money.

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Queen B's birthday celebration next Sat. The Instagirls are coming. They are girl-friends I miss to bits. The theme is Britney Spears. I wonder is my permed hair is Britney Spears enough.

I also just registered for KCON classes by November. I still don't have leave credits by then. Sayang ang sahod. Bukod don, hindi ko rin alam kung papayagan ba ko.... or kung meron pa ba kong trabaho sa mga panahong yon. Muli, bahala na.


07:33 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. September 13, 2019

Modoritakunai

1:15 and I still can't sleep.

Yung guy na feeling ko type nya has taken the seat next to him bilang nag resign na si P****. Ewan ko.

When he got to the office, he went to my seat to initiate a convo. I made myself busy with the things I'm busy with outside the office. He took the cue.

Mega kwento sila nung guy na feeling ko crush nya kanina. He's sarcastic most of the time, pero to that guy, mabait sya.

From time to time, pumupunta sya sa seat ko in another attempt to start a convo. Ang hirap. Ang hirap hirap makipag-usap. Hindi ko rin gets. Parang ayoko ng palalain pa to. Pag nakausap ko ulet sya baka mas magustuhan ko pa sya e.

Lagi lagi sa kanya ako nagtatanong pag meron akong hindi alam gawin sa office. May Japanese call na pumasok sa kanya kanina, so Kurt told him na ipasa sakin. The whole time, he was behind me, pero mas pinakikinggan ko si Charlie. When he left to go back to his seat at hindi alam ni Charlie yung sagot sa tanong ko, normally sa kanya ako magtatanong, but I went to ask PM instead. Ang hirap makipag-usap. Ang hirap ngumiti sa kanya. Dati dati never akong umalis ng office na hindi nagbababye sa kanya, pero kanina I skipped mentioning his name and went out and said bye to everyone in general. Heck, I couldn't even say his name.

Siguro iso-sort out ko lang muna tong nararamdaman ko. Gusto ko parin naman syang makasama. Sana kahit paano magawa ko yung friends lang na setup. Sana maayos ko to. Kasi, putek, ilang beses na bang nangyari yung ganito? Ayoko na bumalik sa ganito.

Nalulungkot ako.


01:41 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. September 12, 2019

Uso bakkari

As humans, we often lie when we're scared.

I've been lying a lot lately that sometimes I don't know what's the truth anymore.

Itigil na natin to, Z.

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I bought bracelets made of healing stones, one of which is called BOTSWANA. Said this stone is beneficial for overcoming depression and strengthens you at times of grief. Oh, wow.


09:01 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. August 22, 2019

Hirugohan

Lunch. TL asked if I can go back by 3:30 for health card orientation. 1 hour lunch barely suffice, 30 mins pa kaya?

I plan to send the list of roletakers for Aug 30. I forgot my notes. Bakit antagal maluto ng food ko? Rawrrrr!!!

Hindi ko maintindihan. Bakit lagi nalang tayo nagmamadali, Z?


03:16 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. August 15, 2019

Reality check and stuff

Got home early to pay the rent. Funny that I now earn more than 2x my previous salary pero negative parin. Lol. Di masaya.

Chatting with my old friends in college. Ang hirap maka relate lalo na't ang topic e tungkol sa mga anak, binyag, pagkuha ng yaya at iba pa.

Planning to meet some TM friends on Sat just to fill up my love tank, kasi sila at least nakakarelate ako. But I need to go home in Bulacan for my laundry.

Work setup is not really getting better. Wala parin akong ginagawa. The other new hire asked TL na magpang gabi sya para makapakinig sa mas maraming calls. Mukang mas masaya nga sa panggabi, ok lang naman, ayoko lang.

Si May lang bukod sa new hire ang nakakausap ko. Her shift ends 1pm. Robert's there. They don't seem to like him, pero mabait naman sya sakin, so ok lang. pero mas gusto ko parin kasama sila May at Charlie. Charlie's shift starts 5pm. So from 2pm-5pm wala akong kausap. Ok lang naman. Mejo nabo bored na ko. Gusto ko na mag calls.

Ang dami pa nilang hinahire na bago. Hindi ko nga gets. Wala naman masyadong calls. Feeling ko rin maliit ang chance na mapunta ako sa panggabi. Part of me wants to go on night shift, pero... ewan.

Siguro kaya ako nalulungkot dahil nakafocus ako sa wala at gusto ko na naman maging in control.

Kailangan ko na naman isipin ang future. Tinatamad ako.


07:56 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. August 8, 2019

Mata uso da

"Miss you."

Sa totoo lang, ok na ko. Sa tingin ko, kaya ko nang hindi patulan ang mga munting landian na alam mong walang patutunguhan.

Lately I've been asking the Heavens to help me protect my heart. Para sa susunod na magmahal ako, hindi na dun sa kung saan mauuwi lang sa... wala?

Mejo nalulungkot ako lately. Must be pms.

I told a colleague that I'm a few days delayed already, and she was like, "congratulations". Lol. Ano kayang feeling ng mabuntis?

When I was younger, people often asked, "may boyfriend?" Ngayon ang unang tanong na, "may anak?" Mejo bastos. Lol.

Lumabas na ang schedule ng english support after ng reshuffle. Pang gabi na sila Per*y at PK. So sad. Then I remember, nilalagay daw sa pang gabi ang mga bagong j-bilinguals para mahasa. P&P are the people closest to me in this new environment. As much as I want to stay close to them as possible, ayoko parin magpanggabi.

Ba't nga ko ulet napunta rito?


09:12 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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木曜日. July 25, 2019

Dear Z

July 25, 2019. Tomorrow will mark your 2nd week at work. How are things going?

Know what, Zah, it's either you dwell on the good, or you dwell on the bad. The choice is yours. Ano gusto mo?

You are being trained by Per*y now. Bilang presence naman talaga ang madalas mong reason kung bakit nagugustuhan ang isang tao, admittedly, you see Per*y, don't you?

Pero siguro this was before what happened yesterday.

Sande*p, the acct manager, brought cake and ice cream for July celebrant. October ang bday mo pero someone from the office told you to join and you did.

A W K W A R D.

Naawa ka sa manager nyong Indian kasi he brought cake and ice cream and invited people to eat with him pero all of you just awkwardly ate there tas wala man lang kumakausap sa kanya. 

So what did this has to do with Per*y? Because he also just stood there awkwardly, not talking. And you thought him to be a whole lot more confident than that. Ambabaw no?

Then there's PK. Do you remember what he said to you? We won't write it here, but it has to do with **. If you had been your younger self, mao-offend ka dun. But you chose not to. And you feel like it paid off. Ok kausap si PK no? He kind of reminds you about Sir Fr*d. Crush mo yun dati, di ba?

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Z, you ought to read the 48 laws of power, kasi may sablay ka. You shouldn't have told Charl*e about "mairimasu". It's probably not wise to send them Meguri's translations either. They might feel corrected. Paano ka kaya makakabawi?

Putek, ito na naman. You're walking on eggshells again. Can we just chill?

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Nag-usap kayo ni Mel kahapon and you felt like what she said made sense. For a change, let's give this whole love life thing a rest.

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2 weeks. You can't really expect things to be perfect the first time, right? I wonder how was it back in co no.3. Siguro hindi naman yun sa kung paano ka nagsimula, kundi sa kung paano mo nagawang i-sustain ang lahat for a long time. 

Whatever happens, let's do our best.


01:34 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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私の名前はZです。


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