Entries in category "Friday"



I am a master of my emotions
Friday: October 27, 2017



This is one of my favorites from Og Mandino's scroll. When Joey de Leon's depression related comment was still hot, I wasn't one of those who cried foul because I think there is some truth to that idea. It was just that Joey didn't wrap his idea/comment in a better package. We are all about packages these days, aren't we?

Before I start feeling bad again, well, yeah, I remember the scroll. That 'I am a master of my emotions' thingy. Last night before I slept, I went to parents' room. Mom was eating peanut butter sandwich and I took a bite, then suddenly things weren't so bad anymore. I think the world can fall apart, but as long as I'm with the people I love, kahit ano pa yan, kaya ko yan.

There will be an event today. I feel far from wanting to socialize, but I already said yes.

The world demands so much of me lately. Did I sign up for this? Maybe I did. 

When down with 2 choices, what will you choose? Live with it until you hate it? Or just leave?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:01 AM.

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Good Will Hunting
Friday: October 6, 2017



The movie may not touch you the way it touched me,

but if I am to rate this with 5 stars as the highest,

...

I'd give this a 10.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:57 PM.

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asdfghjk
Friday: September 1, 2017



z,

pag sinabi mong "tara", ibig sabihin, sasama ka.

pag sinabi mong "see you", ibig sabihin, darating ka.

hindi ko naman talagang intensyon magsinungaling. ayoko lang talaga nang nag eexplain. sighs. konti nalang bi-bingo na ko sa taong to.

------

start of the month and a few heartbreaks already.

pero keri lang.

Friday holiday at work. not really complaining. im skipping a tm night for its gonna be a long day. im really dead sleepy and my stomach feels funny so mejo wrong timing, besh.

i would've looked forward to the weekend for a much longed for sleeeeeeeep, but tomorrow's division contest and i already said im coming. i think id rather stay home but i also want to support gabby. besides, nandun si crush. i want to see how he will fare against gabby.

------

membership renewals time. im trying not to panic on how i can make the ends meet.

one of our members sent me a message yesterday telling how this other club in katipunan is so much more accessible to him. he didnt actually said he's leaving the club to transfer so i asked. he just told me, nahihirapan daw sya. so how can i respond to that?

hindi ako clingy na tao. im actually a bit detached. pero kahit ganun, i dont like it when people leave... well, except if im the one leaving.

when i was younger, i used to ask: ano bang mas masakit, yung aalis or yung iiwan? ive long found an answer to that.

------

10 mins. got to end this.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:51 PM.

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flashlight
Friday: August 25, 2017



considerably feeling better. for one, friday na. plus i also had a good sleep and so far, hadnt eaten anything crappy.

to perform your best, kailangan ata talaga na nasa best shape ka.

my problems didn't fix itself when i woke up this morning. they're still there, but at least now, i can stare at them dead in the eye without panicking. Or, okay, i did panic, but only a bit.

i just spent a few pesos for market testing. the results arent looking good. i dont have any other bullets left and after this i dont know what to do next.

hahahahahaha.

or maybe i should say,

huhuhuhuhuhu.

i dont know. i thought maybe i should slow down. like the years of having not much result weren't that slow already. i want to fix my state first. at least for a couple of weeks of so. naisip ko yung "law of pure potentiality" and i want to see what it can do for me.

"begin with the end in mind," they say. Pero di ba, sa buhay, parang kang naka flashlight na naglalakad sa dilim. makikita mo ba agad yung end ng road? hindi naman di ba? makikita mo lang kung ano yung abot ng ilaw ng flashlight mo. pero kahit ganun natatapos mo naman ang paglalakbay mo kahit sa pakonti konting ilaw lang. kahit hindi mo pa nakikita kung anong nasa other end.

kaya siguro ok lang kahit hindi pa naten alam lahat. kahit hindi pa naten alam kung ano ba yung nasa kabilang side of kung ano bang kahihinatnan ng lahat. baka minsan kailangan lang talaga naten na magpatuloy sa kahit anong konting liwanag meron tayo. parang flashlight.

sighs...

...

im feeling considerably better.

pero nalulungkot at nag-aalala parin ako.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:16 PM.

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Il Principe
Friday: June 23, 2017



been reading some machiavellian writer i recently discovered. i am halfway through the transcript of his talk in some huge university and my head started spinning already. i feel like my brains had been too exposed to goody goody books from goody goody writers that it's finding it hard to adjust. i felt my neck, i think im having fever.

nakakalagnat pala to?

---------

the scent of your hostility reached me across my pc, totally bypassing geography. im pretty sure you're a charmer, i didnt know u can be coquettish too. they say the most dangerous types are the mixture of 2 or more characters and i should know because im a mixed type myself.

... but i think im sick now so im letting u get this one. or maybe i should drop the game altogether.

i feel tired.

maybe im truly sick.

---------

"absolute power corrupts absolutely...

absolute powerlessness corrupts even more than that."

few weeks for my bsp9. nakakahiya mag beg off kung ikaw ang nag assign ng date na yun para sa sarili mo. im thinking of writing about aos... or maybe about gaining power through radical realism anik... these ideas are too good not to share but they might find it hard to accept it right away and it's just a 5 to 7 minutes speech. nako-kornihan naman akong pumili ng generic topics. i want to give them something good. something that will radically change their views about life. i think, as a speaker, our speech is our gift to our audience, and i want to give them something that will be beneficial for them and at the same time... maybe something that will make them remember me as well??

huwwooow... getting machiavellian, z?

kaso kasi, nakakatamad din talaga.

---------

mom's birthday today. we're probably going to have something special for dinner tonight. masaya na ko sa spaghetti at cake. sana may spaghetti at cake.

ive always loved spaghetti since i was a child. the other things i loved as a child, i already outgrown. i wonder when will i ever outgrow my love for spaghetti.

when i was a bit younger, nagkaron ako ng theory na malalaman mo lang na adult ka na pag nagsimula mo nang magustuhan ang lasa ng paksiw(isda)...

hanggang ngayon, ayoko parin ng paksiw.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:27 PM.

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Gloomy Friday
Friday: April 14, 2017



APAC people were in OB so it was just partner and I at work. I'm just glad that we got past that phase when we're constantly pissing each other off. Indeed, miracles happen the moment na mag decide kang mag focus sa good side ng mga bagay bagay at wag i-stress ang sarili sa bagay na hindi mo ma-control. As a whole, I think partner and I share a lot of things in common and minus the silly away-bata, I think we can make a good tandem. 

----

The air feels considerably gloomy today. If I remember it right, ganito rin ata last year. Ang lungkot lungkot ng hangin pag good Friday. Siguro kailangan din talagang pagdaanan to para mas ma appreciate naten ang Easter. 

Iniisip ko kung nasa good Friday lang din ba ko ng buhay ko. If so, then I only have to hang on for a few more days because, hey, easter's coming! 

----

Saw Cristina changed her profile pic in fb into some pic of her na black and white. She's my friend who passed away last year. The old self that I know would probably get creeped out at that. Ikaw ba naman, kung yung friend mo na mag wa-1 year na na deds e nag update ng profile pic, hindi ka ba matatakot? But I wasn't scared. Sometimes when I pass by the street that leads to their house in citrus, I remember her. I wonder what people do once they're in heaven na. Or meron nga kayang heaven? iniisip ko kung inimbento lang ba ng tao ang idea ng langit so that they won't feel so bad about dying.

I don't know what's true. Ang alam ko lang, sobrang limited lang ng buhay kaya hindi dapat sinasayang sa mga bagay na hindi naman mahalaga. Sabi mahahanap mo daw yung peace kung yung words at actions mo e in line sa nararamdaman mo. My words are barely keeping up with my feelings and my actions are nowhere nearby. Baka kaya walang peace. 

Ang ikli lang ng buhay... Dapat siguro, magsimula na akong mag build ng sarili kong peace. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:21 PM.

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Hikari
Friday: March 31, 2017



Sabi ko, sa McDo ako mag be breakfast today para makapagsulat ako ng speech, kaso may pumasok sa isip ko na kailangan ko isulat dito. Well, siguro tinatamad lang rin ako. 

Ang galing galing ni Irish (heneral), sumasakit ang puso ko...

Sabi nila, yung mga taong nirerespeto at hinahangaan mo ang clue sa kung anong gusto mong maging. Alam ko naman na before pa. Pero siguro overtime e nag eevolve din talaga ang mga gusto naten. 

-----

I got home last night and was about to enter my room when I saw sis-in-law with walis tambo in hand wiping sweat off her forehead and a broad smile drawn across her face. She showed me kaitlyn's newly assembled playhouse that she assembled herself. She intends to show it to kaitlyn daw once brother came back home from work so that together they can surprise their daughter. She looked happy. 

I saw it even before she and my brother got married, how she can make a wonderful wife and mother. Just like mom. I think they are the type whose happiness is defined in building a family. Being a spouse and a parent. 

and that was when it hit me. How different I am from her and mom. 

Sure, there is also that side of me who daydreams and wishes to build a family, but it was more of a very silent voice so much like a whisper. A more dominant side screams something else. Something I want so bad it hurts. Magagawa ko kaya? Siguro yun yung exciting na part. Ung fact na wala naman talagang nakakaalam... 

As I age, mas maraming pume pressure saken about how I should be this and that. I know most of them are just concerned. But instead of living to fit in to the world's standards, sa tingin ko, what I want most right now is to follow my heart. 

Unti unti, lumilinaw na sakin ang lahat...



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:27 AM.

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Friday breakfast and dark clouds
Friday: March 24, 2017



Hello morning. I'm having breakfast with versace on the floor playing in the background. Days had been low and I really miss the time back when good breakfast can still lighten a heavy heart. 

One of our dogs, Junior, has been sick for months. Doc Jack saw him for a couple of times already yet it seems like he's not getting any better. I think he's leaving us soon. Last night, mom asked me to make junior eat something. He can't eat on his own anymore so we have to gently push the food into his mouth to make him eat. He was so weak when I saw him. I held a side of his face to hold his mouth upright, but he instead rested his cheek on my hand. We stayed in that position for a while. He's tired. I allowed him to rest in my hands ignoring the mosquitoes biting me. It would probably hurt him if I make him eat. I couldn't do it. 

It's been months since my dog tanga died. August 26 to be exact. It still hurts and I still sometimes wish that I can have her back. Now junior is probably going next. I don't know...

Other sides of my life are just as bad. I can't wait for these dark clouds to pass. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:29 AM.

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超眠い
Friday: March 17, 2017



kung magpapaperm ako ng buhok at magpapakulay ng gaya neto, magiging kamukha ko ba si J-Law?

ugh. hair reached that awkward length again where strands stick out in every direction imaginable. gusto ko sana magpahaba ulet ng hair...

didnt sleep much. im too sleepy i cant find my brains.

i want bed.

image source: www.badtaste.it



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:48 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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