Entries in category "金曜日"



Renrakushinaide
金曜日: January 22, 2021



Rest days are almost over, and yet I feel like I've never had the time for anything.

I've been taking care of 2- 17 days old kittens. They didn't like the milk that I bought, and the other brand turned out to be potentially harmful for them, so I had to give them to the mother during feeding time. Real pain in the arse.

Lately, the mother is getting in heat and is making lampong with 3 male cats, one of which, is my cat, Jiufen.

So when the kittens cry for milk, the mother is most of the time nowhere to be found. Argness.

Then, I keep the kittens on this furry cat bed that I bought for my Jiufen that he never really used. When the kittens eyes were still closed, they might've thought that the furry bed was their mother. They've gotten used to the bed that they sometimes cry when already well-fed, so I can bring them back to their furry bed.

Today, I needed to wash the bed because it's already dirty and there were a few ants already. As you know, hindi naman talaga ako naglalaba. Ansakit sa kamay magkusot, so I used my feet and stomped on it instead. Sakit sa bewang. I must've put too many soap, the whole thing was real foamy, it took me forever to finish cleansing. Nung matapos ako, daig ko pa nag gym.

Basa pa rin yung cat bed kahit nidryer ko na. Bumili ako ng furry throw pillow of similar texture. Wala naman kasing nabibili na cat bed sa palengke. The kittens are still crying for their old bed. Bakit kaya ang bratinella ng mga pusa?

Bukas pahirapan na naman sa pagpapadede. May work pa ko. Tokwa.

Pero sa kabila ng hassle na to, I really love these kittens. Things will probably  be a whole lot harder once they've gotten bigger. Bahala na.

I wonder if parenting humans is as hard as parenting kittens. Siguro harder. Kaya saludo talaga ako sa mga nanay. At maybahay.

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Ang dami kong ginagawa. That's why I hate it when people reach out to me and add to the things that I have to do. Lalo na dun sa mga lumalapit lang naman talaga pag may kailangan. Haha. Alam ko, ganun din naman ako minsan. Pero, basta.

Kailangan ko ba talaga mag reply? Kailangan ko ba talaga gawin yung mga pinapagawa nyo sakin? Bakit? Hahaha.

Siguro one of the ways to take care of yourself is to not spend time on things that you don't really care about.

And I want to take care of myself.

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Work ulet bukas. 

Dahil sa nabasa kong entry dito sa Tabulas, naisip ko na baka kaya ayoko magtrabaho e dahil hindi ako masyadong magaling sa ginagawa ko. Baka pag mas gumaling pa ako e mas ma enganyo na akong magtrabaho.

Ewan ko.

Alam mo ba, last month na daw ng TL namin this month. Grabe naubos na ang mga TL sa office. This TL is very kind. Sobrang daling kausap ng taong to, so mejo nag-aalala ako na baka hindi na namin kasundo yung pumalit. Hindi ko alam kung sinong papalit. Sana mabait din. 

Mejo nakakalungkot. Pag bumalik na kami sa trabaho, hindi ko alam kung may matitira pa ba sa mga kakilala ko.

Alam mo, ok naman yung work ko e. IT. Ang problema lang e engineering kasi yung course ko, so mejo mahirap at first. Over 1 year into this job and I'm kinda getting a hang on things already. I also have officemates na natatanungan ko sa mga bagay bagay, so it's not really so bad.

Mahirap lang, yung sa language. Since I left company #1 year 2013, hindi na ko nakapag Japanese class ulet. Sinubukan ko rin mag self-study, kaso sobrang nakakatamad talaga, di kaya ng will power ko. Since then, I solely learn from the Japanese people I support. In a way, tingin ko, nag improve din naman yung language skills ko. Lalo na now na mas marami na kaming Japanese calls.

Siguro nga, language ang problema. Dahil hindi ko mapilit ang sarili ko mag-aral, pinipilit ko nalang na manood ng j-drama. I hate that I started with Alice in Borderland. Now every jdrama that I watch appears lame in comparison. 

If you happen to have watched a good jdrama, even half as good as Alice, recommendation naman please. : )

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Hinalo ko yung 1 can ng bear brand sterilized, sa around 3 scoops ng ice cream to make milk shake. My gawd, ansarap!

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Aside from Japanese, I support English speakers as well. Bilang nasa morning shift ako, kadalasan Indian ang na su-support ko. When I was new here, my coworkers often joke about the Indian callers, mostly for there accent. But over 1 year in the company, I think they are actually pretty good. And in all fairness to them, sa dinamidami ng Indian users na nasupport ko, I have never encountered anyone who was irate or rude. Every single one of them is nice. That's why I don't hate them. 

The people from EMEAR, though I have fewer encounters with them, are also very kind. Nose bleed lang talaga since madalas e hindi sila nag i-english. 

May mga rude na Japanese, may mga rude na American. Pero karamihan naman mababait. Pero based sa mga taong na encounter ko, ang pinaka entitled at nakakakabad trip na nationality sa lahat e.... can you guess? 

Pinoy. Hahaha. I only had 2. 1 male and 1 female. Parehas maangas, entitled, at kung umasta kala mo sila nagpapasahod sayo. Hahaha.

Pero hindi ko sila masisi, kasi sa tingin ko, maraming time na ganun din naman ang ugali ko. Hahaha. Hindi ko alam kung culture ba to or nagkataon lang.

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Nagwawala na naman ang mga alaga kong kuting. Kahit mejo basa pa yung cat bed nila, kinuha ko na at binigay sa kanila. Ayun, mejo tumahimik na.

OA ang pagka demanding ng mga kuting ko. Pinoy talaga. Siguro, hindi ganito ang ugali ng mga kuting sa India. Haha.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:59 PM.

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First
金曜日: January 8, 2021



January 8 na pala at ngayon ko lang nagawa ang 1st entry of the year ko. Hindi ko matandaan kung anong ginawa ko nitong mga nakaraang araw bukod sa trabaho. Probably playing some game or something.

Bukas, balik trabaho ulet.

Naalala ko yung co#1. I'm pretty sure there were days back then when I was probably sick of working and had long been contemplating to quit, but I no longer remember them now. Funny I kept remembering fond memories.

How magical it felt when the door to Chubu Kenshuu Center opened automatically in front of me. It felt surreal. Whenever I want to feel lucky, I always bring myself back to my CKC days, the day when  my dream of going to Japan and learning a foreign language came true.

Pero hindi naman lahat ng fond memories ko sa co#1, ganun ka grand. Meron ding simple fond memories lang, pero equally precious. I remember 1 time I was so busy with work that I needed to go to work on a Sunday kahit mag-isa lang ako. I had the key to the office, I decided to bring Dad along para di masyado nakakatakot. Co#1's office was posh and well-kept, Dad was amazed. Wala naman syang ginawa sa office, pinag dikit dikit nya lang yung chair para matulog.

Nagpa deliver ako ng Tapa sa Rufo's for lunch. I remember the delighted look on Dad's face when we were eating together. He ate like it was the best meal ever. I loved that day. Dad looked so happy and content. I loved Rufo's tapa mostly because of that moment. I no longer eat tapa now, but I wish I can let Dad eat their beef tapa again, and will let Mom eat too.

Gusto ko nang yumaman. Kung tutuusin, this past year, sobrang na blessed ako financially, because of co#4. Pero sa totoo lang, bawat company na napagtrabahuhan ko, naging malaking blessings din para samin.

Naalala ko dati nung namasyal kami sa SM Fairview. We were just starting our career back then kaya wala pa ring masyadong pera. I remember passing by City Buffet, at ang nasabi lang namin e, "pag yaman natin, kakain tayo dyan." Ngayon, umay na umay na kami sa City Buffet.

I want my family to enjoy a good life. A luxurious one. Yung bonggang bongga talaga. I can't imagine getting rich tapos wala sila sa equation. I don't want that. I want to get rich so we can all enjoy, and I feel like I need to hurry up because my parents are not getting any younger.

Sabi ni Deepak Chopra, a quiet mind is more powerful than a positive one daw.

I think I manifested co#4 through the power of silence. I want to believe that I can manifest absolute financial freedom as well, with the same effortless ease using, this same technique. 

Silence.

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The past 2 days I spent playing games, watching tv, playing with my niece and nephew etc, etc.

I consider co#4 as a huge blessing for the past year. I am grateful. Still, in my heart I know that I still want to be free.

I know, I'm getting there.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:23 PM.

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ren & den
金曜日: November 27, 2020



Had very little sleep last night. We woke up at 3am as Dad's appointment with the doc was at 7. Mom needed to give eye drops to Dad every two hours last night per doctor's instruction. She also made sure he won't touch his face. They were kinda noisy, I think none of slept well.

I've been sleeping at my parents' room for a while now. They have aircon, and my room feels like a furnace in comparison. I think my life will be a little bit easier if I'll just buy my own aircon, but I think it's impractical. 

Dad's post-surgery check up finished real quick. 

Alam mo ba, sobrang bait ng doctor ni Papa. I don't think I've met another doctor who's as nice. He always go to the hospital early. Yesterday, nung hindi agad pinapasok ng guard sila mama, sinundo nya pa. We came about an hour earlier than the scheduled time today. When Mom texted the doc, he rushed to the clinic, binaon nalang daw ata yung almusal nya. He always run—like literally—when he's needed. Kahit sa mga private na hospital na napuntahan ko, we were never treated like were prioritized as much as this doctor made us feel. 

On top of that, I think pogi sya. I never saw his face because of the mask, pero chinito sya. Maputi, matangkad at mukhang mabango. Single kaya to? Hahaha!

But all the kaharutan asside, I truly appreciate this doctor. May the Heavens bless and protect him palagi. Grabe, ang swerte ng mga magiging pasyente nya.

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Back to work tomorrow. We just had a go-live for the APAC teams a few days back. We are having a lot more Japanese calls now. And Divya started flooding us with  tickets again. Last Thursday, nabasa ko sa gc na 100 daw yung pinasa. Tokwa, good luck sakin bukas.

TL D said that this will be his last week na daw sa company. Does that mean today's his last day? Bakit kaya sya nag resign? Hindi ko na rin sya natanong. Ang tipid rin kasing mag reply non. But I'm glad na rin na he told me that he's leaving. Otherwise, I wouldn't know. Magkaiba kami ng shift e.

Sya yung gumawa ng blitz. Majority ng forms na gamit namin, galing din sa kanya. Nung kaka announce lang ng lock down, he was the one who was working so hard for us to be able to bring our work computers home. Dun ko kaya sya naging crush. Ang pogi nya nun e. 

And I also remember na mahigpit sya. Mejo takot nga ko dun. Kahit never naman talaga syang nanakot. Ang no-nonsense nya rin kasi. And I acknowledge na magaling sya as a leader, and as an IT. Kahit nung hindi ko pa crush yun, nilu look up ko yun. Ano kayang magyayari sa team pag wala sya.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:19 PM.

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Brown
金曜日: November 13, 2020



47 hours ng brown out. Nung kabataan ko, pag brown out, minsan lumalabas kami ng bahay para mag kwentuhan ng nakakatakot.

Pumunta kami ng esem kanina. Balak kong na charge ng cellphone sa coffee shop. Nagdala na rin ako ng extension. Yung maliit, para di naman garapal, pero kasya tatlong socket.

Pag dating ko, yun cbtl na di nmn npupuno dati e punong puno today. Tas kada poste ng esem n may power source, may tumpok ng tao na nakiki charge. Naisip din nilang magdala ng extension, but most of them didn't bother to be descreet. May nagcha charge pa nga ng electric fan. Lol.

Ok lang. Can't bring myself to judge. Crisis e. Nakikicharge din nmn kami. Had a few talks with people there. Naaliw din naman ako. Natuwa nga ko sa extension nung nakasama naming mag charge, may usb port. Tumatanda na nga ata ako. Ngayon ko lang nalam na meron na palang usb port ang mga extension ngayon.

Kung nangyari to 5 to 10 years ago, hindi siguro ganito ang reaction ng mga tao. Siguro 2 days of brownout wouldn't be so much of a big deal kung hindi natin natutunan to rely so much on gadgets at internet.

Alam mo ba, ngayon nalang ako ulet nagbasa ng libro. I would've spent this day binge watching on Netflix kung di lang brownout.

It's not really so bad. Mejo nakakapagtaka lang na may ilaw na sa kanto. That's just about 10 blocks away from us.

As of the moment, 49% nalang ang battery ng cp ko. I wasn't able to have it fully charged, kasi by 4pm, pinapaalis na kami ng guard. If this brown out will continue tomorrow, hindi ako makakapasok sa trabaho. I hope I'd have enough battery left by then to at least inform our TL that I couldn't work. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:40 PM.

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Don't Dare To Dream
金曜日: October 16, 2020



Just finished watching Don't Dare To Dream, which is also known as Jealousy Incarnate. An addition to my top favorites. Basta ata kasama si Kong Hyo-jin sa casts, maganda e. Grabe ngayon lang ako inabot ng past 4am sa panonood, and I could've went on watching kung di lang na deds yung cellphone ko. This is the first time that my phone totally ran out of battery since Mom bought it.

Ang ganda, grabe. Nung in pain yung male lead, I was squirming and ouching, feeling his pain. Grabe. Around 2nd-3rd eps, di ko na dapat itutuloy kasi ang pushover ng character ng bidang babae, di ako makaralate. Tas yung bidang guy, not the usual inhumanly beautiful male lead ng korean novela. I'm glad I kept watching. And as I went on watching, grabe ang laki ng kinapogi nung mail lead sa paningin ko. Wahhhhh! Mahal na mahal ko ang palabas na to it's hard to let them go. T_T

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Every time I catch myself remembering the past too much, I make an effort to be aware of the present moment. To do this, I need to touch the walls, or feel any object just so I would know that, hey, Z, you're here. This is where you are now. This is where your power is. Come back, come back...

Sighs.

Some ramdom memory from about 15 yrs back. There was this dude who was taking a picture of me. When he found out that I knew, he started asking casually to take pictures. We were kinda close, that dude and I. A friend concluded that maybe the dude liked me, but back then, I felt like that wasn't the case.

It was you, wasn't it? Ginawa mo na kasi yun before. Also, sa pagkakakilala ko sa iyo, maiinis ka pag may ibang lalaking gumawa sakin ng ganun. But that time, you were there, and you were fine with what was happening. It was you, di ba? It was you.

Anong ginawa mo sa pictures ko? Tinapon mo ba before your wedding? Or way before that? 

Kung hindi ikaw ang nagpagawa nun, then it doesn't matter. Even if it was you, maybe it shouldn't matter, no?

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Jeez. I feel like I'm watching too much kdrama. Sa sobrang daming romcom na napanood ko, malapit na siguro akong maging love expert. Lel.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:39 PM.

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Many Men
金曜日: September 16, 2020



Wednesday and I'm free again.

I remember reading somewhere that we should love in such a way that the person we love feels free.

There're just so many things running in my head now.

This week, I realized na marami pang lalaking good catch na single pa rin at hindi bading. 

Tinatamad lang naman talaga akong mag reply. Minsan kasi mas gusto ko nalang manood ng koreanovela.

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Just got a message for an officemate that another one from JP team has resigned. Hindi nya rin alam kung bakit.

Morning shift had been so hayahay lately. 2-3 calls, max na yung 7. Tas mga backlogs, minsan wala pang 10. Hindi ko maintindihan bakit hindi na kami binibigyan ng backlogs ni Divya.

I am in no way missing the times when I'm working on over 40 tickets per day. Nakakapraning lang kasi pag biglang ganito. Tas malalaman ko nalang na biglang nag resign si Kenta? Tokwa, bakit? 

Sighs.

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I don't know what's with this feeling. Yung... ano ba tawag dito? Yung feeling na parang walang saysay lahat,  ganun? Ewan ko. Kung tutuusin, ok naman ang lahat. My family is happy and complete. We sleep in warm bed. We have lovely dogs and a cat. And I have a job that pays me well...

Tapos?

Hindi ko masasabing love life ang kulang. Not at this time. I feel like it's all within my grasps, as if offering a hand for a handshake and I'm just standing there staring.

Ano ba tong hallow part na hindi kayang punan kahit ng love life? 

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When I signed in for work this morning, a call immediately came. When the man on the other line spoke, I understood the language but somehow got lost on how to respond. I fumbled for the Japanese words to use, yet nothing felt applicable until I realized, "takte, Korean."

Been watching a lot of kdrama. I never really stopped since we subscribed in Netflix. I'm seriously thinking of studying korean. Someone from the Korean team at work gave me a link where he self-studied Korean Language. Took him 1 year lang daw, and now nag ko Korean support na sya. Gusto ko rin matutong mag Korean.

Minsan feeling ko kaya I lack interest in meeting real-life decent men e dahil di sila katulad ng mga bida sa Kdrama. Bad trep. 

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May friend, LA, is crushing on this Japanese dude she met on an online TM meeting for a TM club in Japan. Infey, gwapo yung dude. There'll be having a meeting again this week, pero Saturday kasi at tatapat sa shift ko. I'd really want to join. Nakakatuwa kasi yung guy. I've checked his profile tas based on his picture e parang yung mga trip nya sa buhay e same ng mga trip ko sa buhay. Laman din kasi sya ng learning events. Tas Japanese pa sya. Wala lang. Interesting lang.

Yung crush ko sa TM from another club, ok rin naman e. Single din yun. And he's Chinese. Parehas din kami ng mga trip sa buhay. Alam mo, ang dami pa talagang ok na lalaki na single e...

Oh e tapos?

Sighs. Manonood nalang siguro ako ng Koreanovela.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:43 PM.

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TLDT
金曜日: May 29, 2020



Namiss ko bigla this guy who said pwede daw magtanong kahit busy.

Tas di magrereply. Lol.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:56 PM.

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Cruel
金曜日: May 29, 2020



Club anniversary's online celebration tonight. 

I haven't decided yet if I'm gonna go. I haven't read any messages, even those that I was tagged to. I don't want additional work. I don't want additional stress. I don't want to hear any more demands. I know this is a position I swore upon. A task I promised to do, but who cares.

Am I cruel? Well, it's not like they can't do this without me, you know. I just find them so exhausting, I can't bear having to give in to any more of their demands anymore. Lol, I know they might not even be demanding of anything right now. I wouldn't know. I haven't read the messagages. But still.

Normally, I think I'm so much more responsible than this.

Also, some of my friends will be there. And the new president is also my friend.... pero...

Have you ever felt like this, repulsed at the thought of having to deal with certain people again?

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Sa kabila ng lahat, marami paring magandang bagay na nangyayari.

A friend who tested positive in COVID has tested negative twice na, so she's cleared. Ang bait ng Langit!

Also, ang sarap nung carbonara na inorder namin kahapon. Hehe.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:47 AM.

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Ambo
金曜日: May 15, 2020



I asked for a little rain. The Heavens gave me a storm.

Brownout. Lakas ng hangin. Binitbit ko yung kama ko sa kwarto ng parents ko dahil ang scary ng bagyo. Mom is way more scared than I am and this is not making me a little less scared. Well at least I'm not alone in fear. I can't believe that Dad is already snoring amidst all these.

Alis ka na, Ambo. Please bring COVID-19 with you.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:55 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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