Entries in category "金曜日"



Moon
金曜日: March 20, 2020



Hello.

Day 4 ng home quarantine. Our baranggay will issue a quarantine pass that will enable just 1 person in every household na bumili ng grocery at gamot. 18-50 years old lang ang eligible, so either me or my brother. Brother is on work from home. So malamang, ako. Mom told me to lock myself up in my room, so when the baranggay people shows up, they'll have no choice but to name the pass to either of my parents. Ayaw kasi ni Mama na ipangalan sakin yung pass. Hindi daw kasi ako marunong mamalengke.

Hindi ko alam. Sa totoo lang, natatakot ako.

May mga usap usapan na may mga tricycle driver daw na nagbabalak nakawan ang Puregold dahil nga suspended ang byahe nila at wala silang makain.

Parang ganito ang inaalala ng tatay ko a few days back. Pag nagutom daw ang mga tao, baka dumami ang magnanakaw at akyat bahay.

Tumawag ang bestfriend ko kanina, kahit nasa Malaysia sya at nasa maayos na kalagayan, naisip nya pang alalahanin ang mga tricycle driver na mawawalan ng hanap buhay. Kawawa daw.

Ako, iniisip ko lang kung anong mangyayari sa pamilya ko.

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Sinusubukan ng kompanya namin na magpadala ng PC saming mga bahay. Yung mga taga Metro Manila, nakuha na ang PC nila. Yung sakin, ewan ko. Mahigpit ang checkpoint dito sa Bulacan. Hindi ko alam kung papapasukin sila dito. 

Sabi ng iba, mas marami pa daw namamatay sa ibang sakit kesa sa COVID19. Pero iniisip ko, kung meron pa bang ibang sakit sa kasaysayan na naging dahilan ng pagsasara ng mga paliparan, ng pagpapanic buying ng mga tao, at nang malawakang quarantine ng mga lalawigan.

Nakakatakot.

Sa sobrang takot ko at pag-aalala, hindi ko maintindihan kung paanong nagagawa ng iba na magpatuloy na mabuhay na parang wala tayo sa krisis.

Si Mel, gumawa pa ng GC kasama yung dati kong kasama sa trabaho na gustong gumaling sa English para daw maturuan namin.

Si Jane, nakipag video call pa para ipakita sakin yung baby nya na marunong nang sumipa.

Yung mga kasama ko sa club, busy sa pag aasikaso sa kauna unahan naming online meeting. Kinukumbinsi ako ng presidente na sumali.

At yung kaibigan kong si El Ey, naisipan pang mangumpisal ng damdamin sa taong nagugustuhan nya. Oo, sa kalagitnaan ng krisis ng coronavirus. Ayun, na reject sya.

Iniisip ko kung paano nila nagagawa ang mga bagay na to. Hindi ba kayo nag-aalala?

Mabilis uminit ang ulo ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. Hindi naman ito normal sa akin. Nangyayari lang ito pag takot at nag-aalala ko. Alam iyon ng nanay ko kaya madalas nya kong pagsabihan na wala naman daw mangyayari kung mag-aalala. Baka daw magdulot lang ito ng sakit sa akin.

Nagluto sya ng paborito kong champorado para sa almusal kanina. Araw araw rin na merong hipon sa hapag, bilang hindi naman ako kumakain ng karne ng hayop na may backbone. Binilhan nya rin ako ng lettuce dahil alam nyang mahilig ako sa salad.

Isa sa mga bagay na pinahahalagahan ko sa buhay ay ang aking kalayaan. Ngayong limitado lahat ng galaw namin dahil sa quarantine, natatakot talaga ako. Hindi na ko makapaghintay na bumalik ulit sa dati kong buhay.

Pero siguro, mali nga ako. Mali nga siguro na magpatalo sa takot at kalimutan na sa kabila ng lahat ng ito, pinagpala parin ako sa napakaraming bagay.

Sa totoo lang, ayokong kausapin ang mga kaibigan ko. Gusto ko kasing magmukmok at isipin ang nga bagay na inaalala ko, pero makukulit ang mga kaibigan ko. Ipinagpapasalamat ko na hindi sila basta bastang sumusuko sa akin.

And my pure mother. Sumasayaw sayaw pa sya kanina kahit alam nyang mainit ang ulo ko. Paminsan minsan, kumakanta sya in silly lyrics as if telling me na, it's ok, we can take things lightly.

Marami pa kaming pagkain.

Gumagawa rin naman ng paraan ang kompanya namin para makapagtrabaho kami.

May kuryente, may tubig, may cellphone, may internet.

Siguro hindi naman talaga kailangang magpatalo sa pag-aalala.

Sinend ko kay El Ey yung picture ng crush ko. Kahit sya, umagree na gwapo. Tinanong nya ko kung sure ba akong hindi bading to. Kasi nga, ang daming kong nagustuhan na bading dati. I told her, hindi bading si crush. May anak nga eh. Sabi nya, umiwas daw kami sa taken. So I told her na inspiration lang naman. Bukod kasi sa gwapo to, magaling din at matalino. She understood.

So I look at crush's picture and somehow the world seem to feel a little less crueler. Takte, ang gwapo talaga nitong lalaking to. Sa totoo lang, hindi ako mahilig sa gwapo. Kaya nga hindi ko nagustuhan dati to e. 

Ang sarap nya lang rin talagang tingnan. Sa totoo lang, mas bet ko ang mga lalaking masarap kausap. Hindi ko alam kung masarap ba sya kausap, kasi pag nasa trabaho ako, takot ako sa taong to. Mahigpit nga kasi sya. Pero sa kanya parin ako laging nagtatanong pag hindi na alam ng mga katabi ko ang sagot sa tanong ko. Magaling nga kasi sya. Hayyyy, namimiss ko na yung crush ko.

Nasa gitna na tayo ng krisis, pero takte, naiisipan ko pang kumerengkeng.

Pero sa totoo lang... mas kalmado na ko ngayon.

Salamat, Crush.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:16 PM.

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Dark Clouds
金曜日: February 28, 2020



I'm back to work, alright. Nothing seem to have changed. Makukulit parin ang mga kasama ko sa trabaho. I'm good and happy.

Except, when I'm alone, there's that dark cloud hovering on top of my head, and there's that heaviness in my chest, I don't know what to do with.

You see, my dog, Gigi, died today.

Just a year ago, she got so sick and was dying but somehow survived. I asked the Heavens to lend her to us some more, and the Heavens did. But this time, I asked and asked for extension... but Mom texted, wala na daw e. Wala na si Gigi.

I don't know. Universe... bakit po?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:53 PM.

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Kin
金曜日: February 21, 2020



Hello Tabby. I'm back. I guess you'll see more of me these days dahil wala akong ginagawa at hindi pa ko makapasok sa trabaho. Pagbalik ko sa work, mahirap na namang makahanap ng time para sumulat dito.

Halos kababalik ko lang sa bahay.

Dad was in the hospital to see an Opta. He needs to get his eyes operated daw, sabi ng doc. 81,000 pesos. This is for just one of his eyes. The other eye needs to be operated once the other is fully healed. Will probably need another 81k by then. We met at SM to eat lunch when they told me about it. I noticed Dad's arms were cold so I asked if he's scared of the operation. It was then that he started crying to which Mom started crying too. Dad said he's scared of the 81,000. I ruffled his hair and assured him we have a lot of money. Ang sarap sabihin na maraming kang pera. Mas madali kasing maniwala na totoo even when there's nothing much to be found on my wallet, niether on my bank account. Pero kahit ganun, I'm glad that this is happening now at hindi back when I earn less than half of what I earn now pa. Hindi ko parin alam kung paano mag produce ng 81k in 2 weeks though.

On the way back home, Mom thought about the alternative that the Doc told them about, which will reduce the amount to be paid by 75%. If this will work, wala na kaming problema.

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Will be visiting Tito Leo tomorrow. They live in a place that looks like a squatters area around QC, but don't be fooled. They're not poor. Tito Leo owns a lugawan operating 24 hrs that is earning big enough for him to make his 2 daughters quit their jobs and help out with the lugawan instead.

Magtayo nalang kaya ako ng lugawan no?

Still, I'm not looking forward to go to Tito Leo's place except for the lugaw. Ang init kasi. Ang sikip. Ang daming tao. Mas gusto ko nalang mag stay sa bahay at magbasa. Pwede naman ako mag stay nalang sa bahay at magbasa. Kaso.... wala lang.

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Next Friday na ang balik ko sa trabaho. One of my colleagues told me na ang dami daw Japanese calls these days. Sobrang dami that some of them needed to report to work on their rest days na. Sabi nila baka hanggang 23rd pa yung ganito karaming calls. Nawa ang hindi ko na abutan. Or at least not for now. Kasi naman, nakalimutan ko na yata kung paano mag support. Gusto ko naman makakuha ng Japanese calls. Wag lang muna ngayon. Kailangan ko muna mag review.

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Inaalala ko rin ang pagtatapos ng term at ang susunod na election ng officers. Natatakot akong ma elect na president. I don't know what else to do to prevent this from happening. Wag na kaya ako mag renew? Takte.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:00 PM.

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JS
金曜日: February 14, 2020



Siguro JS prom na sa dati kong school. Malapit lang yun sa bahay namin. Dinig kong may party. Ganda ng tugtugan. Hula ko may Battle of the Band na nagaganap. 

Parang gusto ko tuloy magpunta sa bar at mag sound trip sa isang sulok habang nagmumuni muni tungkol sa mga maling desisyon ko sa buhay. Lol. 

Valentine's na pala bukas. Naka house arrest ako (home quarantine). Pero syempre lalabas parin kami.

Sino kayang ka date nung crush ko?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:47 AM.

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Friday
金曜日: January 25, 2020



I brought some clothes with me today. I don't have plans on going home kasi. There was some fellowship night with the gang. I had other plans but some newbie member asked for me to go kasi nahihiya daw sya kung wala syang kakilala. I obliged. Tomorrow, I'll be doing some errands and maybe go home by afternoon.

We went out tonight. The 21-year old rich kid crush was there. I've always found him easy to talk to, it's kinda odd that he couldn't even look at me kanina. Ewan ko dun. Siguro kasi anlakas ko rin kasi syang asarin. Napipikon na kaya to?

When we were getting home, he offered na ibaba nya na ko along EDSA. We came from QC, he dropped me off to Boni kahit papunta syang Marikina. IkR. Well, hinatid nya rin naman yung isa pang kasama namin. Tamang kwentuhan inside the car. Ngayon ko lang syang narinig na nakipagsabayan sa asaran. I felt like the drive was too short. Masarap pa rin sya kausap.

Ayun lang naman. Siguro sadyang masarap lang kausap ang mga kabataan. And he's actually very matured to talk to. Such a breath of fresh air.

I'm starting to weigh my chances. Lol, this is ridiculous.

You know why I took up Civil Engineering kahit naknakan ako ng arte at ayoko ng maalikabok at mainit? Because I knew this was a challenging course. Yung tipong pag napasa mo, feeling mo ang galing mo. Parang miscellaneous exercises sa Algebra book ni Catalina Mijares. Gaya ng math problems na mahirap i-solve.

Eto na naman tayo, Z...

Nakahanap na naman tayo ng Math problem. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:13 AM.

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Woes and prayers
金曜日: November 22, 2019



Tita Inday, Mom's younger sis, is having a hard time sleeping so she decided to go to the province and see Tito Bibot's funeral- probably until burial. The elder sister, who happens to be my mother, decided to do the same. Mom asked if I have money. Since I'll be giving money for the expenses in the funeral, etc, waley na kong pera. Lol.

I don't like days like these. I am truly grateful for the money that I have... but Heavens... more please! Haha.

------

Ang sakit ng tiyan ko. T_T



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:13 AM.

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Home
金曜日: November 9, 2019



Home is where family is. My parents, brother, niece, sis-in-law... thet are my family. But aside from them, I have other people I consider family though we're not related by blood.

With them, I'm not afraid to be seen as "maarte". They already know. I eat food from their plates, and they sometimes finish mine. I often rest my arms on their back, or on their lap, with very little hesitation. When in a crowd of strangers, theirs are the faces that I first look for. They bully me a lot. I'll give them my most sarcastic retort. Then, we will laugh.

We correct eachother right on the face. We bully eachother and laugh about it together.

Well, hindi rin naman talaga perfect. Nagkaka bad tripan din. Naiirita din ako sa kanila madalas. Pero in the end of the day, sa piling nila, alam ko, I'm home. Isa sa mga pinagpapasalamat ko sa langit e yung hinayaan Nyang matagpuan ko ang mga taong to.

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Contest today. Dahil nakipagpalit ako ng shift para rito, alam syempre ni TL. Sobrang lakas mang-asar nun. Sabi nya manonood daw sya at magdadala ng banner. Tas niyaya nya pa yung iba. Lol. Syempre joke lang naman yun.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ako masyadong friendly. I prefer to be alone over being with people I'm not comfortable with. On the 12th will be my 4th month here. I think I really like these people. They don't feel like home to me yet, pero sana over time, maging malapit din sa puso ko ang account na ito gaya nang nararamdaman ko para sa Elite. Challenge yun for me kasi nga, hindi ako friendly at mejo mahiyain pa ko. I love the concept of family. It would be nice if a day will come that I'll start considering these people as family.

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Placed 2nd sa Evaluation contest. We will be sending 2 contestants per contest sa Area Contests on January. This means I'll be competing by then. Gusto ko maging national champion. Tinatamad din talaga ko. Pero wala lang, para makapag papansin lang sa mga crush ko, ganun. Lol.

Yung mga friends ko nag eexpand na ng pamilya, ako napapansin parin sa crush.

------

May nirereto sakin si Diana na lalaki. A Korean dude in his 30s. Pulis daw work nito sa Korea. Ayoko talaga ng foreigner at mas lalong ayoko sa pulis, pero naisip ko na date lang naman at hindi naman kami magpapakasal, so I told her, "sige, go."

Naalala ko yung sabi ni Andee. Single women should date a lot daw. Hindi para kilalanin yung guy, kundi para mas makilala mo pa yung sarili mo.

Sa totoo lang, nakakatamad makipagdate lalo na't hindi naman talaga ako interesado. Still, bring it on.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:03 AM.

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Crush Talk
金曜日: September 27, 2019



P: nakita mo ba yung post ko? Ba't di mo nila like posts ko?

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He will be going to his province in Romblon for a week-long vacay starting Saturday.

Z: mamimiss kita

P: grabe, 1 week lang naman yun

Z: pasalubong

* joke kasi yun (na half-meant). Di pa tapos yung punch line, kinikilig ka na. Hmp!

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P: your endearment makes me kilig

Z: san naman nanggaling yan?

P: wala nabasa ko lang

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P: ambango mo ngayon

Z: *dodges the topic*

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He sent me an email template that I can use to send to the users we support for an easier transaction. The email contains screenshots with circles and arrows done free hand, probably through MS Paint, tas mukhang drawing bata, so I often tease him about it.

Z: grabe, professional na professional.

*after seeing me forward exact same email to different users*

P: grabe, makalait ka sa sinend ko sayo, tas ngayon gamit na gamit.

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Pag umooverboard sya sa pang-aasar, sina side hug nya yung taong inaasar nya to compensate. He does that to everyone.

But I'm pretty sure, there was never a single day since he went back to day shift na hindi nya ko ni-hug. 

Syempre, hindi naman ako nag rereklamo.

-------

Pag ito nahulog sa arms ko, ay takte, di ko pakakawalan to. Wapakels na kahit ano pa sya. Gay or whatnot.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:34 AM.

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Infra
金曜日: September 20, 2019



Just a few days back, I wondered why I haven't been having dreams. But just last night, I had one. And it got me wake up feeling so bad I feel like I will never be happy again.

Part of me feels certain that that dream is actually true. Damn, I'm nobody's mouse.

"Bakit ang tahimik mo ngayon?" Coworker asked me for the nth time today. How am I supposed to answer that?

Isn't it odd? The things that hurt us the most, we find so hard to talk about.

My heart hurts.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:14 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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