Entries in category "金曜日"



12:10 AM thoughts
金曜日: November 26, 2021



We plan to go to QC tomorrow. Technically later. It's been a while sine I went there. Mejo sawa na ko sa madalas namin kainan sa mall malapit dito.

Browsing Crisostomo's menu. Crablets, kinilaw na tuna, fried hito, seafood kare kare, pinaputok na pla pla, lumpiang hubad, sizzling squid stuffed with laing and churos ang mga trip kong kainin. For half the price, pwede na kong kumain ng unli sa City Buffet. Wala nga lang kinilaw at hito. Miss ko na ang kinilaw. Yung hito naman, once palang akong nakakakain sa buong life time ko. That was when I was little, and I was in my cousin's house. My tito peping cooked fried hito, and it tasted good. I once asked Mom why she never bought hito to cook. She mentioned about hito eating stuff from poso negro. Mom was raised near the sea, I really had no idea what she was talking about. Iniisip ko nalang na siguro naman, ang mga hito dito sa cuidad e hindi pinalaki sa may poso negro.

Well, anyway... gusto ko rin kasi ng sushi. Tsaka egg soup.  Tapos ice cream. Tapos crepe. Siguro mas wise choice talaga ang city buffet. 

But then again, I remember how I've long been wanting to bring my parents in Crisostomo. But before pandamic, laging puno dun at by appointment na, so we always ended up eating elsewhere. Posibleng ngayon nalang ulet hindi puno ang Crisostomo.

Hmmmm.

Gusto ko ng crepe. Pero parang ang sarap ng churos. 

Tokwa, napuyat na ko kakaisip ng pagkain.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:29 AM.

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Fc
金曜日: November 19, 2021



I've been having nightmares for 2 days in a row already. The type of nightmare that is hard to wake up from, and makes me scream in my sleep. Yesterday, Dad woke me up from the nightmare. Today it was Mom.

I feel mentally and spiritually weak these days. There were a lot of things going on. Usually, I'm only having nightmares when I watched or heard something really scary. This time, hindi horror story, but Mom's scream over something petty, ang naging trigger sakin. Pakiramdam ko nagkaron ako ng trauma.

I feel mentally unstable. For these past 2 days I've been screaming in panic whenever something startles me. I've also been having this pounding headache at the side of my forehead that  wouldn't go away. Persistent thoughts of wishing to just die and so on. I swear, I'm so much stronger that this.

I listened to a few videos from Feast Worship. I remember a docu kasi that says na yung mentally at spiritually weak people ang madalas sapian ng evil spirit. My prayers don't feel strong enough to protect me. I'm happy worship songs were able to do the trick. 

And there's also that sad realization that at times when I'm weak, wala pala talaga akong matatakbuhan.

But then again, I'm mentally unwell, so maybe my thoughts cannot be trusted.

----

Feastcon starts today. I invited Mel to join. I miss live KCON before pandemic. I'm not really looking forward to this, pero sana ma enjoy ni Mel. This will be her 1st time to attend. Ang saya siguro kung live tong FeastCon na to.

Listening on Feast Worship earlier, naalala ko yung crush kong si Aio. He'll surely be there. Ayan, excited na ko. : )



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:13 AM.

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1AM thoughts
金曜日: October 29, 2021



Gusto kong maging sobrang yaman. Yung tipong kaya kong kumain sa fine dining kahit di ko kayang basahin yung menu.

Tipong kaya kong bumili ng damit na 6 digits ang presyo.

Yung kaya kong magbakasyon sa kahin saang bansa ko gusto.

At sana maranasan ko lahat ng ito kasama ng mga mahahalagang tao sa buhay ko.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:58 AM.

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Samut saring monku
金曜日: September 10, 2021



Still super sick. I closed my Shopee shop, so I can rest. It's not like I have hundreds of intered buyers, but answering even one query is enough to make my head spin.

Thermometer read 36.9. Wala naman akong lagnat. Pero masakit ang ulo ko, nahihilo, my joints hurt, feeling lethargic, at wala ring ganang kumain. I started eating only plain rice as I can't take the taste of any ulam. Yung ilang kutsarang kanin, pinipilit ko pang ubusin.

Mom and Dad are sick too, though they seem to have gotten a little better. Or at least, they can eat. I also heard Brother and Sis-in-law coughing. Nahawa na siguro sila samin. Sana ang mga bata ay hindi magkasakit. We walk around the house wearing facemasks for the kids' safety, though I admit, minsan nakakalimutan kong isuot yung sakin.

Ang problema ko e kung paano ako mag-aabsent bukas as I'm still sick. Dami na namang hanash yan, for sure. Maiirita lang ako.

Naiintindihan ko naman why companies are strict when it comes to allowing leaves for the employees. But it's not like we have unli leaves, you know. Isn't the limited number of leaves enough to prevent employees from abusing their privileges? Kailangan nyo ba talagang pagapangin ang mga may sakit na empleyado papuntang COVID-infested hospitals para lang makapag present ng medcert? Napaka inhumane na system talaga. Hindi naman ganito kaarte ang company namin dati.

Sighs. Bahala na talaga.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:52 PM.

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Genjitsu ni modoru
金曜日: August 28, 2021



Talaga bang sabado na bukas? Hindi ako prepared. T_T

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Pina upgrade ko yung RAM ng kabibili ko lang na laptop kahit di ko naman kailangan. Namiss ko lang mag frappe. Maybe it was just an excuse. Now that I've finished the latest ep of Boruto, tamad na tamad akong mag stay sa bahay. Tried watching Bleach. Not liking it yet. Maybe I'll get to like this in a few more eps. I didn't like Naruto rin naman at first, pero now, love na love ko na.

Oh, nalaman ko pala na hindi si Jiraiya si Kashin Koji. He's just his genetic clone. Nalaman ko rin na matatalo nila si Jigen, mawawala ang rinnegan ni Sasuke, at mamamatay si Kurama. Tokwa. Damn Google. Hindi ko alam kung gusto ko pa ba mapanood to. I wonder if anime will stick with the manga's plot, or make some changes. Mabubuhay pa kaya si Kurama? Maybe the author needs to weaken the strongest shinobis (Naruto & Sasuke), para mawalan ng choice ang tunay na bida (Boruto) kundi mag step up at i-save ang lahat. Siguro. IDK.

When I'm not preoccupied with anime, napapagastos ako out of boredom. Tas nadiskubre ko pa yung Food Panda. Lagot talaga.

-----

Back to work tomorrow. Gusto ko nang yumaman. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:16 AM.

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Nubenta
金曜日: May 21, 2021



Natapos ko na ang anime at manga ng Slam Dunk. Tokwa, bitin. After ilang dekada, may continuation pa daw ata ito. Ang nakakainis pag nakakapanood ka or nakakabasa ng maganda, pag natapos mo na, parang feeling mo napapariwara na buhay mo. Lol.

In a way tingin ko nagbago na ko. Hindi ko na nagiging crush ang mga anime characters. Hahaha! Si Sendo ata ang crush ko dati. Or si Rukawa ba? Hindi ko na maalala. Pero mahal ko talaga si Sakuragi. He's so adorable. 

Kung tama ang naaalala ko, ang major anime crush ko e si Seravi ng Akazukin Chacha. Sobrang crush ko rin si Killua. Puno ng poster nya ang kwarto namin dati.

Nakakamiss ang alalahanin ang nakaraan. Magaganda parin ba ang anime these days? Puro na kasi kdrama ang napapanood.

Hayst. Eto na naman yung hollow feeling. Baka after effect ng panonood at pagbabasa ng slamdunk.

Parang naha highlight ang dullness ng buhay pag nanonood ka ng action-packed na series no?

------

Back to work tomorrow. I hope having watched slam dunk again will make my heart warmer for the JP users na makakausap ko bukas.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:16 PM.

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Neko
金曜日: April 9, 2021



It's been a few days. I still haven't found my eldest cat. One of the community cats I've been taking care of is also missing. I've sent messages to the relatives and neighbors to ask they if they've seen black white cats around their area. Waley. Nag post na rin ako sa FB page ng baranggay namin, at nagsend din ako sa message ng dog pound (they used to catch cats). Sa dog pound daw, wala. Hinahantay ko pang may mag react sa post ko sa baranggay.

I've been doing mini searches around the neighborhood since yesterday. Sometimes I wish I have a seer-like ability to find the missing. 

Gutom na siguro yung pusa ko. Huhu. Sa paghahanap ko kanina, may nakasalubong akong skeletal-thin dog na may collar at leash pa. Mukhang nakawala..natatakot ako na maging ganun ang pusa ko.

I have a stock of premium cat food for my cat. Maarte syang kumain. I've been feeding some of his food to the strays. Yung tira ng mga kuting na masisira lang pag kinabukasan pa makain. Nakakainis na I'm feeding stray cats good food, tapos yung sarili kong pusa e probably gutom na gutom na out there somewhere. Huhu.

Natatakot din ako na baka nasagasan na sya. Or napulot ng manginginom at ginawang pulutan. Baka nilapa ng mga aso. Or... or...

Nah, I don't think so. My cat is very smart. And he keeps as much distance as possible from humans. He's probably just out there somewhere. Baka ayaw nga lang umuwi dahil lagi syang kinukulong sa kwarto. Ewan ko.

Nung bata pa kami, may pusa kaming ipinaampon sa tita ko. Binitbit nung pamangkin nya yung cat papunta sa bahay nila blocks away from tita's house. Ayun, naligaw ata yung pusa at never nang nakabalik.

Sana makauwi na si Jiufen at si Gen-gen. Miss na miss ko na sila. Huhu.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:17 AM.

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Bargain
金曜日: March 26, 2021



My kittens were very weak when we arrived back home from the hospital yesterday. I made them drink the prescribed rehydrating water, but they didn't seem to improve.

I cleaned my room, where they sleep, and mop it with zonrox. Same. Doctor's directives. I also cried a number of times when they wouldn't open their mouth to drink. I was so afraid they'll die.

Last night, I wrote an agreement with the Universe that if He'll let my kittens live, recover and become healthy again, I will give a certain amount as tithes on the next cutoff—an amount more than twice my usual tithes. 

I had a quick shower. Pagbalik ko, Iya was eating her recovery meal. Tas mayamaya nakikipaglaro na sila. When I checked their food bowl this morning, naubos nila lahat nung laman.

Tokwa, laki ng babayaran kong tithes this month. Lakas mang-asar ng Universe. Lol.

Pero okay lang. Sana tuloy tuloy na talaga.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:37 AM.

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Renrakushinaide
金曜日: January 22, 2021



Rest days are almost over, and yet I feel like I've never had the time for anything.

I've been taking care of 2- 17 days old kittens. They didn't like the milk that I bought, and the other brand turned out to be potentially harmful for them, so I had to give them to the mother during feeding time. Real pain in the arse.

Lately, the mother is getting in heat and is making lampong with 3 male cats, one of which, is my cat, Jiufen.

So when the kittens cry for milk, the mother is most of the time nowhere to be found. Argness.

Then, I keep the kittens on this furry cat bed that I bought for my Jiufen that he never really used. When the kittens eyes were still closed, they might've thought that the furry bed was their mother. They've gotten used to the bed that they sometimes cry when already well-fed, so I can bring them back to their furry bed.

Today, I needed to wash the bed because it's already dirty and there were a few ants already. As you know, hindi naman talaga ako naglalaba. Ansakit sa kamay magkusot, so I used my feet and stomped on it instead. Sakit sa bewang. I must've put too many soap, the whole thing was real foamy, it took me forever to finish cleansing. Nung matapos ako, daig ko pa nag gym.

Basa pa rin yung cat bed kahit nidryer ko na. Bumili ako ng furry throw pillow of similar texture. Wala naman kasing nabibili na cat bed sa palengke. The kittens are still crying for their old bed. Bakit kaya ang bratinella ng mga pusa?

Bukas pahirapan na naman sa pagpapadede. May work pa ko. Tokwa.

Pero sa kabila ng hassle na to, I really love these kittens. Things will probably  be a whole lot harder once they've gotten bigger. Bahala na.

I wonder if parenting humans is as hard as parenting kittens. Siguro harder. Kaya saludo talaga ako sa mga nanay. At maybahay.

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Ang dami kong ginagawa. That's why I hate it when people reach out to me and add to the things that I have to do. Lalo na dun sa mga lumalapit lang naman talaga pag may kailangan. Haha. Alam ko, ganun din naman ako minsan. Pero, basta.

Kailangan ko ba talaga mag reply? Kailangan ko ba talaga gawin yung mga pinapagawa nyo sakin? Bakit? Hahaha.

Siguro one of the ways to take care of yourself is to not spend time on things that you don't really care about.

And I want to take care of myself.

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Work ulet bukas. 

Dahil sa nabasa kong entry dito sa Tabulas, naisip ko na baka kaya ayoko magtrabaho e dahil hindi ako masyadong magaling sa ginagawa ko. Baka pag mas gumaling pa ako e mas ma enganyo na akong magtrabaho.

Ewan ko.

Alam mo ba, last month na daw ng TL namin this month. Grabe naubos na ang mga TL sa office. This TL is very kind. Sobrang daling kausap ng taong to, so mejo nag-aalala ako na baka hindi na namin kasundo yung pumalit. Hindi ko alam kung sinong papalit. Sana mabait din. 

Mejo nakakalungkot. Pag bumalik na kami sa trabaho, hindi ko alam kung may matitira pa ba sa mga kakilala ko.

Alam mo, ok naman yung work ko e. IT. Ang problema lang e engineering kasi yung course ko, so mejo mahirap at first. Over 1 year into this job and I'm kinda getting a hang on things already. I also have officemates na natatanungan ko sa mga bagay bagay, so it's not really so bad.

Mahirap lang, yung sa language. Since I left company #1 year 2013, hindi na ko nakapag Japanese class ulet. Sinubukan ko rin mag self-study, kaso sobrang nakakatamad talaga, di kaya ng will power ko. Since then, I solely learn from the Japanese people I support. In a way, tingin ko, nag improve din naman yung language skills ko. Lalo na now na mas marami na kaming Japanese calls.

Siguro nga, language ang problema. Dahil hindi ko mapilit ang sarili ko mag-aral, pinipilit ko nalang na manood ng j-drama. I hate that I started with Alice in Borderland. Now every jdrama that I watch appears lame in comparison. 

If you happen to have watched a good jdrama, even half as good as Alice, recommendation naman please. : )

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Hinalo ko yung 1 can ng bear brand sterilized, sa around 3 scoops ng ice cream to make milk shake. My gawd, ansarap!

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Aside from Japanese, I support English speakers as well. Bilang nasa morning shift ako, kadalasan Indian ang na su-support ko. When I was new here, my coworkers often joke about the Indian callers, mostly for there accent. But over 1 year in the company, I think they are actually pretty good. And in all fairness to them, sa dinamidami ng Indian users na nasupport ko, I have never encountered anyone who was irate or rude. Every single one of them is nice. That's why I don't hate them. 

The people from EMEAR, though I have fewer encounters with them, are also very kind. Nose bleed lang talaga since madalas e hindi sila nag i-english. 

May mga rude na Japanese, may mga rude na American. Pero karamihan naman mababait. Pero based sa mga taong na encounter ko, ang pinaka entitled at nakakakabad trip na nationality sa lahat e.... can you guess? 

Pinoy. Hahaha. I only had 2. 1 male and 1 female. Parehas maangas, entitled, at kung umasta kala mo sila nagpapasahod sayo. Hahaha.

Pero hindi ko sila masisi, kasi sa tingin ko, maraming time na ganun din naman ang ugali ko. Hahaha. Hindi ko alam kung culture ba to or nagkataon lang.

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Nagwawala na naman ang mga alaga kong kuting. Kahit mejo basa pa yung cat bed nila, kinuha ko na at binigay sa kanila. Ayun, mejo tumahimik na.

OA ang pagka demanding ng mga kuting ko. Pinoy talaga. Siguro, hindi ganito ang ugali ng mga kuting sa India. Haha.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:59 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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