Entries in category "金曜日"



TLDT
金曜日: May 29, 2020



Namiss ko bigla this guy who said pwede daw magtanong kahit busy.

Tas di magrereply. Lol.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:56 PM.

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Cruel
金曜日: May 29, 2020



Club anniversary's online celebration tonight. 

I haven't decided yet if I'm gonna go. I haven't read any messages, even those that I was tagged to. I don't want additional work. I don't want additional stress. I don't want to hear any more demands. I know this is a position I swore upon. A task I promised to do, but who cares.

Am I cruel? Well, it's not like they can't do this without me, you know. I just find them so exhausting, I can't bear having to give in to any more of their demands anymore. Lol, I know they might not even be demanding of anything right now. I wouldn't know. I haven't read the messagages. But still.

Normally, I think I'm so much more responsible than this.

Also, some of my friends will be there. And the new president is also my friend.... pero...

Have you ever felt like this, repulsed at the thought of having to deal with certain people again?

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Sa kabila ng lahat, marami paring magandang bagay na nangyayari.

A friend who tested positive in COVID has tested negative twice na, so she's cleared. Ang bait ng Langit!

Also, ang sarap nung carbonara na inorder namin kahapon. Hehe.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:47 AM.

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Ambo
金曜日: May 15, 2020



I asked for a little rain. The Heavens gave me a storm.

Brownout. Lakas ng hangin. Binitbit ko yung kama ko sa kwarto ng parents ko dahil ang scary ng bagyo. Mom is way more scared than I am and this is not making me a little less scared. Well at least I'm not alone in fear. I can't believe that Dad is already snoring amidst all these.

Alis ka na, Ambo. Please bring COVID-19 with you.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:55 PM.

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Beauty in gloom
金曜日: May 15, 2020



Intended to finish another kdrama this "weekend", but ended up sleeping for 10hrs straight. My back hurts.

It's a beautiful cloudy morning. I'm hoping for a little rain. I love rain.

Parents are about to leave to withdraw money from their mini business. I haven't been really good to them lately. There're just the three of us at home, to whom will I throw my temper to?

I think I should be kinder.

Someone said na coronavirus is here to stay na and we just need to learn how to live with it. I feel neutral about this. Sabi nila, lahat daw ng bagay ay nangyayari for the greater good. Maybe this is for the greater good. Hindi ko rin naman talaga alam.

People can become nasty when they're afraid. I am afraid.

Or, well, maybe I'm just nasty.

-------

Uy, it's raining na.

Ang ganda ganda talaga ng ulan.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:53 AM.

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Doko ni mo ikitakunai
金曜日: May 8, 2020



Parents left home to the baranggay hall to get my quarantine pass. They asked the baranggay secretary to issue one for me since Mom, the quarantine pass holder in our household, doesn't know how to withdraw money from atm machine. Pumayag yung sec. Pwede na ko lumabas.

Teka, sino ba may sabing gusto ko lumabas?

The last time I went out during quarantine, I went to the market by foot. Nagpaltos ako, Bes. Pano kaya pag nag withdraw ako mamaya? Putek, ang ineeeeet.

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Spent my day yesterday in my parents room. Dun lang kasi may aircon. Every time na lumalabas ako ng kwarto nila, para akong piniprito. Nung gabi, dun na rin ako natulog. Nanginig naman ako sa ginaw. Lol. Buti today, hindi na ganun kainit. Or maybe, hindi pa. Gusto ko ng ice scream.

-------

It's been the longest that I haven't left home. Sinubukan kong alalahanin kung paano nga ulet mag commute papuntang opisina. Parang nakalimutan ko na kasi.

-------

Today still, gusto ko nang yumaman. Mayaman enough to have a choice.

Yun lang naman.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:45 AM.

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Off1
金曜日: April 17, 2020



So, paano magsisimula?

He approached in a diplomatic way. I'm not that harsh. I told him I've been busy. And that I've long been wanting to take a leave of absence. I don't know why talking with this person makes me feel emotionally exhausted every time. Siguro hindi nya naman talaga kasalanan. He said there are only 2 months left for the term, and asked for us to finish this together. I still feel tired. I know we're not at odds. If anything, we're actually allies. But... I don't know. 

I hope he'll stop pushing me into giving more time and energy than I have. I think this is the only way I can stay.

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Thursday off and I spent most of the day sleeping. Parents sleep early these days so I really only get to see them during meal time. Nasanay na akong gising sa gabi, kaya ito, gising pa ko.

Mejo tinatamaan ako ng lungkot these days. At siguro pagod din. Yung emotional na pagod na hindi napapawi ng tulog at pahinga. 

ECQ blues? 

Anong magandang Kdrama pang divert? Takte, di kaya ng puso ko yung Hotel del Luna. Pakdis, ang scary!



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:50 AM.

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Good
金曜日: April 10, 2020



Spent the day sleeping. Tapos gigising lang para kumain. Nakipagkulitan sandali sa nanay ko at ng solve ng mga iq test sa fb. Ngayon eto, nasa kwarto ulet. Tambay ulet.

Sabi ng author ng isa sa mga books na naging influential sakin, mas powerful daw ang QUIET mind kesa sa POSITIVE mind. Naging sobrang effective nito sakin. Ang problema ko lang ngayong ecq, pag sinusubukan kong i-quiet ang isip ko, nakakatulog ako. Pag nagpapa quiet kasi ng isip, bawal magsalita, bawal magbasa, bawal manood ng tv or vid... lahat ng ito bawal for 2 hrs or longer. The longer the better. 

Law of pure potentiality.

I manifested mostly money. Nakuha ko down to my last spec. Pero syempre, not without a cost. I also asked for a person or two,  LOL. Seems like the Universe processes people a little longer. I ended up returning the goodies like defective items.

The Universe holds so much power. I think, we already know this. We're just too lazy to rediscover. Sabi sa book, even the most successful people in the history knew this.

Naisip ko lang si Hitler. He had a problematic childhood. He didn't finish his education, and once lived in homeless shelters. But look at what he was able to achieve. Hitler was surely evil, but boy, he was great. His charisma, his brilliance, this evil who was able to gain power--worst combination ever--we all know how he made history, don't we?

No wonder, I've never trusted Duterte...

I downloaded Hitler's book, Mein Kampf. I only looked at the snippets. Natatakot akong basahin. I remember what I felt when I read portions of 48 Laws of Power, or Machiavelli's Il Principe. Hindi ako sigurado kung gaano ako kabuting tao. I've always felt drawn to this kind of Philosophy even back when I was younger. In a way, ang weird din na hindi ako naging DDS.

Good Friday ngayon. Rest day ko. As usual, tamad na tamad parin akong kumilos. Sakali mang ma emerse ako sa mga prinsipyo ni Hitler at lumabas ang pagiging evil ko, siguro magiging safe parin ang mga tao sakin. To achieve what Hitler had, kailangan mo kumilos. I mean, nakakatamad kaya.

Babasahin ko na nga ang Mein Kampf. Pero magcha charge muna ko. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 06:07 PM.

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TINWIE
金曜日: April 3, 2020



Good morning!

I just woke up. Napuyat ako kaka chat with friends and then sa panonood ng Chinese film na "This is not what I expected". Ang cute nung guy, naalala ko so Tony Stark. Kulang lang sa chemistry yung tandem nila ni girl, pero ok lang.

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Umagang umaga mejo tumataas na ang kilay ko. One of the things I hate e yung pinapakialaman ako sa oras ko or yung tinuturuan ako kung anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko...

Or maybe sadyang bad trip lang ako sa taong to. Irita ako sa choice of words nya. Hindi ko mapatulan, dahil technically, wala naman syang sinabing masama. Sa totoo lang, nag iisip na akonh umattend, pero dahil pakialamero sya, ayoko na.

People are sensitive these days. Choice of words is very crucial. Bigyan ko kaya to ng seminar? Leche.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:56 AM.

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Moon
金曜日: March 20, 2020



Hello.

Day 4 ng home quarantine. Our baranggay will issue a quarantine pass that will enable just 1 person in every household na bumili ng grocery at gamot. 18-50 years old lang ang eligible, so either me or my brother. Brother is on work from home. So malamang, ako. Mom told me to lock myself up in my room, so when the baranggay people shows up, they'll have no choice but to name the pass to either of my parents. Ayaw kasi ni Mama na ipangalan sakin yung pass. Hindi daw kasi ako marunong mamalengke.

Hindi ko alam. Sa totoo lang, natatakot ako.

May mga usap usapan na may mga tricycle driver daw na nagbabalak nakawan ang Puregold dahil nga suspended ang byahe nila at wala silang makain.

Parang ganito ang inaalala ng tatay ko a few days back. Pag nagutom daw ang mga tao, baka dumami ang magnanakaw at akyat bahay.

Tumawag ang bestfriend ko kanina, kahit nasa Malaysia sya at nasa maayos na kalagayan, naisip nya pang alalahanin ang mga tricycle driver na mawawalan ng hanap buhay. Kawawa daw.

Ako, iniisip ko lang kung anong mangyayari sa pamilya ko.

------

Sinusubukan ng kompanya namin na magpadala ng PC saming mga bahay. Yung mga taga Metro Manila, nakuha na ang PC nila. Yung sakin, ewan ko. Mahigpit ang checkpoint dito sa Bulacan. Hindi ko alam kung papapasukin sila dito. 

Sabi ng iba, mas marami pa daw namamatay sa ibang sakit kesa sa COVID19. Pero iniisip ko, kung meron pa bang ibang sakit sa kasaysayan na naging dahilan ng pagsasara ng mga paliparan, ng pagpapanic buying ng mga tao, at nang malawakang quarantine ng mga lalawigan.

Nakakatakot.

Sa sobrang takot ko at pag-aalala, hindi ko maintindihan kung paanong nagagawa ng iba na magpatuloy na mabuhay na parang wala tayo sa krisis.

Si Mel, gumawa pa ng GC kasama yung dati kong kasama sa trabaho na gustong gumaling sa English para daw maturuan namin.

Si Jane, nakipag video call pa para ipakita sakin yung baby nya na marunong nang sumipa.

Yung mga kasama ko sa club, busy sa pag aasikaso sa kauna unahan naming online meeting. Kinukumbinsi ako ng presidente na sumali.

At yung kaibigan kong si El Ey, naisipan pang mangumpisal ng damdamin sa taong nagugustuhan nya. Oo, sa kalagitnaan ng krisis ng coronavirus. Ayun, na reject sya.

Iniisip ko kung paano nila nagagawa ang mga bagay na to. Hindi ba kayo nag-aalala?

Mabilis uminit ang ulo ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. Hindi naman ito normal sa akin. Nangyayari lang ito pag takot at nag-aalala ko. Alam iyon ng nanay ko kaya madalas nya kong pagsabihan na wala naman daw mangyayari kung mag-aalala. Baka daw magdulot lang ito ng sakit sa akin.

Nagluto sya ng paborito kong champorado para sa almusal kanina. Araw araw rin na merong hipon sa hapag, bilang hindi naman ako kumakain ng karne ng hayop na may backbone. Binilhan nya rin ako ng lettuce dahil alam nyang mahilig ako sa salad.

Isa sa mga bagay na pinahahalagahan ko sa buhay ay ang aking kalayaan. Ngayong limitado lahat ng galaw namin dahil sa quarantine, natatakot talaga ako. Hindi na ko makapaghintay na bumalik ulit sa dati kong buhay.

Pero siguro, mali nga ako. Mali nga siguro na magpatalo sa takot at kalimutan na sa kabila ng lahat ng ito, pinagpala parin ako sa napakaraming bagay.

Sa totoo lang, ayokong kausapin ang mga kaibigan ko. Gusto ko kasing magmukmok at isipin ang nga bagay na inaalala ko, pero makukulit ang mga kaibigan ko. Ipinagpapasalamat ko na hindi sila basta bastang sumusuko sa akin.

And my pure mother. Sumasayaw sayaw pa sya kanina kahit alam nyang mainit ang ulo ko. Paminsan minsan, kumakanta sya in silly lyrics as if telling me na, it's ok, we can take things lightly.

Marami pa kaming pagkain.

Gumagawa rin naman ng paraan ang kompanya namin para makapagtrabaho kami.

May kuryente, may tubig, may cellphone, may internet.

Siguro hindi naman talaga kailangang magpatalo sa pag-aalala.

Sinend ko kay El Ey yung picture ng crush ko. Kahit sya, umagree na gwapo. Tinanong nya ko kung sure ba akong hindi bading to. Kasi nga, ang daming kong nagustuhan na bading dati. I told her, hindi bading si crush. May anak nga eh. Sabi nya, umiwas daw kami sa taken. So I told her na inspiration lang naman. Bukod kasi sa gwapo to, magaling din at matalino. She understood.

So I look at crush's picture and somehow the world seem to feel a little less crueler. Takte, ang gwapo talaga nitong lalaking to. Sa totoo lang, hindi ako mahilig sa gwapo. Kaya nga hindi ko nagustuhan dati to e. 

Ang sarap nya lang rin talagang tingnan. Sa totoo lang, mas bet ko ang mga lalaking masarap kausap. Hindi ko alam kung masarap ba sya kausap, kasi pag nasa trabaho ako, takot ako sa taong to. Mahigpit nga kasi sya. Pero sa kanya parin ako laging nagtatanong pag hindi na alam ng mga katabi ko ang sagot sa tanong ko. Magaling nga kasi sya. Hayyyy, namimiss ko na yung crush ko.

Nasa gitna na tayo ng krisis, pero takte, naiisipan ko pang kumerengkeng.

Pero sa totoo lang... mas kalmado na ko ngayon.

Salamat, Crush.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:16 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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