I emptied my work desk and locker yesterday, and brought ng work laptop home. Once the month is over, I'll be free from this company.
Kahapon technically ang last day ko sa office. May onting lungkot, at wala rin yung feeling-the-wind-breeze-on-your-face-for-the-first-time feeling. Siguro dahil papasok parin naman ako, though wfh. I'm also starting to worry about the future. Pumapasok din sa isip ko na baka mas wise na i-retract ko nalang to since I need stable income. I mean, who doesn't.
Pero kasi, twing nabi bwisit ako sa trabaho, or nahihirapan, my only consolation is knowing na matatapos din to soon.
Haaaayst. Ano bang next?
Mom, Dad, and I are planning to go to Quiapo this weekend. I could use some Divine intervention and guidance sa kung anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko. Ayoko na kasing maging empleyado. I need to find a way to earn a lot of money to sustain the lifestyle we have gotten used to for the last 4 years.
Gusto ko ulet mag abroad. Gusto ko magtravel. Gusto ko kumain sa magagandang restaurant, at bumili ng magagandang damit. I want to be able to give my parents a good life. I want to be able to give good presents to my niece and nephew. I want to give my family and myself the best life possible.
Kailangan ko kumita ng maraming pera.
Haaaah.
Universe, I need your help.
10:39 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I have over a month pa, pero ang diwa ko e naka resigned mode na.
Mapayapa ang isip ko today, dahil hindi sumasagi sa isip ko na may pasok nga pala ako bukas.
Haaaaaa. Konting tiis nalang. Matatapos din to.
Next week, I will meet the SAP girls, my workmates, for lunch on a Saturday. Sa totoo lang, gusto ko magtipid bilang magreresign na ko, pero sige na nga. Minsan lang to.
I feel at peace at the thought of resigning from this company. I emptied my locker sa 14th floor from my previous account, since I'm currently using Seki's- a workmate who resigned over a month ago. Before February 1, I have to empty this locker too, and all my stuff sa office. Because yung pagbalik ko dito sa office e to return the assets na.
Normal ba na ma excite ka at the thought na wala ka nang trabaho? Ewan ko.
Habang nakatambay ako sa bahay para magpahinga at mag-isip, I want to use this mantra:
I am smart and talented.
Whatever I do, I will prosper.
Wherever I go, I will flourish.
I'm earning massive amount of money.
Then, if maayos na ang lahat on that department, siguro ito naman.
I want to find a man I can love to my heart's content.
A man who will return the same love to me twice as much.
I'm grateful that I feel this hope in me. A hope for an even better future. Sana nga, maging so much better pa ang lahat pag nakaalis ko sa company na to.
07:18 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I hate that bitch. I want to pull her hair off and smack her face on concrete wall until she loses all her front teeth.
Not good. Hindi dapat ganito. If my goals can be achieved with a quiet mind, then I got to get all this hatred off my system.
Hayyst. Konting tiis nalang.
I sent my resignation letter last Sunday. Effectivity was supposed to be February 15. Nakiusap boss ko na until end of Feb nalang, but in exchange, he'll let me go on wfh the entire February. Pumayag na ko. Pero sa totoo lang, gusto ko na mag immediate resignation.
Hayyst.
Takot ako. Sobra. Pero kasi, ayoko na talaga.
Sana gabayan ako ng langit.
10:40 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Last night, I talked to Mom and Dad about my plan to resign. Earlier sa office, sinabi ko na rin kay Kayla. I'll be sending my resignation letter on Monday, para hanggang February 15 nalang ako sa office.
Haaaayst. Ewan ko.
Nag post yung dati kong workmate na may urgent hiring daw sa kanila for J-speakers. I was already typing my message for him, nang maisip ko, "teka, gusto ko muna magpahinga".
Sobrang dami ng ticket namin kahapon. 30+, at naninigas na yung kamay ko from too much typing. Even my arms, nangangalay na rin.
They pulled 6 people from Espoire project to focus on JT tickets. Tatlo nalang kaming natira sa BAU. Hindi ko maintindihan bakit hirap na hirap silang magdagdag ng tao. Pag Friday, 2 lang kami. Pag may nagkasakit or nag leave, kawawa yung natitira.
Tapos, ginawa pa nila akong crisis writer. I'm on my first ticket ever. Si Grace yung crisis manager. I hate working with Grace. It's obvious that she doesn't like me, which is fine, pero kasi, yung dislike nya sa tao, nagrereflect sa trabaho. And since I'm not the type na uupo lang pag inaapi, ibang way ang ginagawa nya to bully me.
All good sana kung hindi ako crisis writer and won't have to work with Grace.
But then, this is not only about Grace. I'm tired. I feel like I'm gonna get sick for real if this goes on. Hanggang ngayon, masakit parin ang arms at kamay ko.
Kanina while eating lunch at the office, mejo naiyak ako ng maisip ko na I won't be able to provide more for my family. Hindi ko na sila mati treat sa masasarap na restaurant, or mapapasyal sa ibang bansa.
I feel so sorry for my Mom and Dad. I want to give them the best life. Habang nabubuhay pa sila at kasama ko pa sila. Pano ko gagawin yun if I no longer have this high-paying job?
Tokwa. Naiiyak na naman ako.
Pero ayoko na talaga mag stay dito. I know things here will not get better soon. Lahat ng tao dito overworked, except yung mga nasa Espoir. I'm technically a backup for Espoir, pero tokwa, ano ako, robot?
Ayoko na.
Basta. Kaya ko to. Gagawa ako ng paraan to earn more money kahit wala akong trabaho. Kaya ko to.
I'm gonna find a way to give an even better life—the best life, for my family and for myself. Kaya ko to.
Haaaaaa.
Kaya ko to.
07:51 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Today, I slept in, ate, took a bath, paid the bills, updated my financial spreadsheet, cuddle my cats, read BL.
2023 was a pretty unremarkable year. I think that, in itself, is a blessing.
I am grateful that my family is still complete.
I know others are not as lucky.
I have work, though I've been itching to resign.
I have met new people, visited places I've never been, learned new things, and so on.
There were sad days, but I think, I was overall happy.
I pray that 2024 will be just as kind.
I pray for peace and prosperity for myself, my family, and my country.
I pray for great new people to meet.
I hope that 2024 will be a year of smiles, laughter, and building good relationships and memories.
I hope I'll get to build more wealth this year.
That my family and I will live with abundance on all good things.
I pray for health. I pray for love. I pray for happiness, and massive wealth for me and my family.
I pray for more travels, more reunions with friends.
I'm glad that I feel so hopeful.
Sana maging masaya at masagana rin ang 2024 ninyong lahat.
Happy New Year, Tabby peeps! ❤️
06:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
On shift ako today. Work from home. Sobrang chill, that's why I'm super grateful.
Alam mo ba, it feels like ages ago, kahit months lang naman ang nakalipas nung inannounce ng previous account namin na they are letting go of the JP team.
Ako ang unang pumasa sa next account na interesadong kuhanin kami. I remember how I tried to comfort Wendy when she was worried and sad dahil hindi sya makabasa ng Kanji during the assessment. I told her na malay mo, pag natapos ang lahat ng to, mas maganda pa pala ang napuntahan nyo kesa sakin.
Hah! It came true.
Alam mo, I've long known the power of words. It's nice to use it to give encouragement to people. Pero tokwa. I should've known better than to use it against myself.
Hahhhhh.
Yung account na napuntahan ni Wendy, forever work from home, at madali lang daw ang work. Tas today at sa new year, wala silang pasok.
Sa totoo lang, wala namang bitter feeling. Hindi naman puro bad stuff ang naranasan ko sa account na ito. I'm glad to have met Kayla, Johanna, Diday, John and Alex. Sam is also treating me well. Hindi naman talaga masama.
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I couldn't sleep kagabi. Like, past 3 na, gising pa ko.
Siguro may dahilan ang langit why I ended up here. Whether I stay here or leave, sana maging maayos ang lahat.
Malay mo, ako naman yung maging maswerte this time.
Baka ito pala yung mag led sakin sa one true love ko. Char!
....
Sa ngayon, gusto ko lang ng malaya, masagana, at maligayang buhay.
I wish the same for you, Tabby peeps.
Merry Christmas sating lahat.
01:13 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Hindi pa ko nakaka recover sa deductions from my 4 days sick leave without pay (I've used up my SLs), ito, may sakit na naman ako. The last time I was sick, I felt harrassed from the demands from the office, at napaaway pa ko.
I'm bracing myself for another away. I sent a message to my boss, with sorrys and pasensya na pos. Then it hit me. I really hate this—having to say sorry for being sick. Kasalanan ko ba na may sakit ako?
God, I want to resign.
Siguro it's not that bad. I appreciate how Kayla tries her best to help me. Even Shain is not really that bad on most days.
My parents are old. It's Dad's 11th year since stroke. Turning 12th by October next year. They said stroke survivors usually last only 10 years after stroke... I mean, heck, I need money. I need this job. I feed 5 cats, plus 2 more outside. People and animals are relying on me.
I love my family and my cats. Ano ba naman yung konting hirap sa trabaho. Maraming trabaho, pero hindi pa naman ako napapa ot ng husto, and I know... I know... people at work are trying to be supportive.
Siguro it wasn't being sick that I have to say sorry for. It's having to leave them on their own knowing na konti lang yung tao.
Still, I don't like this feeling.
Ugh.
For now, I need to focus on getting better.
06:43 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Realizing that in almost every work place I've been in eh napaaway ako at least once, napaisip tuloy ako na, 'could it be that I'm the problem?'
Well, whatever.
Dad's been seriously wanting to win Lotto. He's been going to mass every week to pray for it, tas balak nya pa kumpletuhin yung simbang gabi.
Sana nga. Magreresign ako agad pag milyonaryo na kami.
I feel like I'm really not suited for corporate life, lalo na't may pagka tigre talaga ko. But Whenever I try to endure the feeling of being wronged, and try to hide tigre-ness, it feels so painful. I hate that feeling.
That's why I feel so much better off alone.
Haaaa. Ayoko na. I want to be so rich that I will never have to work anymore. Once I'm free, I'd study something. Maybe I'd go to law school. Or maybe study Mandarin, polish my Japanese skills, or maybe learn graphic arts. The possibilities are endless.
This tiger wants to be free. I don't wanna be caged in this place called "work" anymore.
10:40 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I made a little scene at the office last Friday after the boss asked to talked to me. I'm too tired to explain about it right now.
I've been sick for over a week. I haven't been finishing my meals properly due to lack of appetite, but I'm seriously craving for homemade cookies. It's been a super long time since sis-in-law made some. I wish she'll make them again soon.
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I want to resign. I don't know how long will I be able to hold on to this job. It's really painful to stay, but I need money.
Ano bang gagawin ko?
11:31 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
