I really hate having weekends off. Sometimes relatives visit. And when they notice you have some money, kahit malayo pa e gusto na nila agad mamasko. Idk.
I spent weeks of having real bad allergies. Isang week lang akong naging maginhawa while on meds. After stopping meds, the allergies came back. I went complete vegetarian, pero tokwa, hindi nawala yung allergies. Mom called Tito Leo, yung kamaganak naming albolaryo. Mom resorted to getting an albolaryo dahil hindi mawala wala yung allergies ko.
Days later, I figured that my allergies were from butter and peanuts. Tumigil ang allergies after avoiding these stuff, but my mom still claimed it was because of Tito Leo. Lol.
Do you know that raw butter helps you get rid of wrinkles? Kaya I always add butter on rice. But now that I can't have butter anymore, I wonder if I'd start having wrinkles. I hope not.
i guess the sad part is that most bread has butter. I love bread. Huhu.
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I feel sick of this life. Hahaha.
Nakakatamad gumising.
Busy sa work. Wala ka manlang makuhang inspiration since wala akong crush dun. Ang lungkot kaya.
I'm not even asking for a boyfriend. Gusto ko lang ng bagong crush. Seriously.
Oh, wait! I have one. Si Stell ng SB19. I've watched him sa The Voice Generations. He's funny and cute. I love him.
But I still want a real-life crush. Or better, maybe a legitimate boyfriend.
Will travel to Hong Kong with my parents as my birthday celebration. Sana may mameet akong pogi.
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Haaaay. Ganito ba pag adult ka na? You need to force yourself to get used to being unhappy?
01:00 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Today, lahat ng teammates ko na nakaupo sa isang buong aisle where I sit e sama samang nagwork from home dahil sa bagyo. Well, except Kayla. I'm really grateful for her. Pumasok daw kasi sya dahil kawawa naman ako, at malapit lang naman daw ang bahay nya.
Kung wala si Kayla magmumukha akong na bully ng teammates ko, dahil nagkaisa silang sama samang mag wfh, at iniwan akong mag-isa. I wonder if it's true though. Well, whatever. Sa totoo lang, wala akong pake.
Nilibre kami ng boss ko ng SB today. Sure, I can buy myself a drink, pero thankful parin ako.
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Kahapon ang last day nila Wendy at Gelo sa Takeda. Nalulungkot ako dahil hindi ko na sila makikita pag umakyat ako sa 14th floor. Gusto ko rin ng forever work from home setup. Pero kasi, anong mangyayari sa buhay ko kung forever akong magkukulong sa bahay?
11:51 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Nakakatamad sa Earth. Buhayin ko na ba mga dating apps ko?
I really like my new work. It's intellectually interesting. Wala nga lang masyadong lalaki. There are mostly women here, I might just turn into a lesbian any time soon. Lol.
Ano ba gagawin ko?
05:22 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Hindi ko alam kung bakit pagod na pagod ako these past few days.
Nakalipat na ako sa new account. The employees here are young, and our team is comprised mostly of women. And they're like "womanly" women. The type who wear skirt and all. From my previous account, 3 lang kaming babae, at ako lang yung pumapasok ng naka dress sa office. I've been browsing Shein for new clothes. Because with this, I can dress up without holding back, since wearing girly clothes here will less likely make you stand out. E kaso naalala ko na ang dami ko nga palang leave without pay, at posibleng wala akong masyadong sahurin next cut off. Oh well.
Busy sa new account, but the kids here seem to love their job. Mabait yung mga boss. The big boss talked to me at day 1. Sabi nya, I'll have another language assessment where pag pumasa ako, I'll be a part of JT. If that happens, pure Japanese support lang daw ang gagawin ko. Pero if not, I have nothing to worry daw, as I'll stay here, only, I'll be supporting English, and serve as a JP backup.
I informed Meguri of my transfer. Nag apply din pala sya sa account na ito, pero hindi daw sya pumasa. He told me na I'll be better off supporting English dahil kahit daw native Japanese like him e nahihirapan sa technical terms sa account na ito. Well, ewan ko. May sense naman. Siguro pride lang din na ayoko bumagsak. At the same time, despite having the big boss reassuring me that they'll gonna make me stay, andun parin talaga yung takot. I still need this job. Basta. Bahala na.
On my Day 2, nilibre ako ng officemate ko ng milk tea bilang pag welcome. Ang sweet lang.
Kung tutuusin, wala naman ginagawa sa new account ko so far. They just instructed me to observe. Pero since I have a new pc na, I started reviewing for the coming language assessment. Wala kasi exact date kung kelan, so I feel like I need to prepare, the sooner the better.
Hindi ko nameet yung other JP agent. Wala sya the entire week. I could be wrong, pero iniisip ko na baka ayaw nya pa ko ma meet. Hahaha. But it's not like she can avoid me forever. Lol.
May dadating daw na VIP. Yun yatang nag interview sakin na client from Russia. Mejo makulit yung naging interview ko with him. Sana hindi sya ma disappoint upon meeting me personally. But then, what's there to be disappointed about? I mean, if I'm awesome enough during the interview that they decided to hire a complete clueless like me, then they should be prepared to be surprised on how so much more awesome I am in real life. Heh.
Ah, jeez. I want to buy new clothes.
08:46 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I got a chat yesterday from the new account sa gc kung saan naka add yung manager ko. Hinahanap nila ako as I was supposed to report to work with them that day daw. I didn't know. Ora oradang alsabalutan. I cleared my desk and went on a half day para makapahinga kahit paano. Dapat papasok ako today dahil sat- sun na ang off sa new account. Humirit akong mag leave dahil kagagaling ko lang sa sakit, and working for straight nine days didn't sound like a good idea. Nakakahiya man, pero ang day 1 ko sa work, I spent with a leave already. Oh well.
Kinamusta ko yung kasama ko na nakalipat na sa new account. Magada daw dun, mababait ang mga tao, maraming trabaho, at bawal malate. Can't say I'm thrilled. Kagabi, napanaginipan kong lumipat daw kami sa malaking bahay. It's so big that when I call out for my mother, she can't hear me across the many rooms. Nung nagising ako, I felt relieved that we're still on our old house. I wonder if I'll be fine sa new account. Well, not that I have a better choice. Alam ko na right now, its the best choice for me. I'm grateful. A little apprehensive, yes, but grateful.
I'll miss the super chill environment sa dati kong account. Still, I hope maging maayos ang lahat sa bago kong account. Sana ma enjoy ko ang stay ko dito, and I hope I'll get to meet and have fun with interesting people.
01:20 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I'm gonna get back to work tomorrow though I'm still sick. I hate being sick. Siguro konti lang ang namamatay sa ubo't sipon, but I really hate this feeling.
Ano na kayang balita sa bagong account? Kelan kaya ako pipirma ng bagong contract with HR? Sana magaling na ko by the time makalipat ako sa bagong account.
I announced to my friends na posibleng Sat-Sun na off ko by July. They started planning on meeting. I'd love to see my friends, pero tamad na tamad akong umalis ng bahay.
I left our TM GC sa messenger. I was suprised that a friend mentioned about it a few days after I did it pa. I don't hate TM. I had fond memories with the people I met in there. Pero naalala ko yung pagod. At sa ngayon, parang ayoko ng extra stress. Gusto ko rin gumawa ng paraan para matupad ko na yung pangarap ko makawala from corporate slavery. Gusto kong mag focus dun. Ano bang gagawin ko?
I feel so fed up about so many things. Siguro dahil din sa masama ang pakiramdam ko. Natatawa lang ako sa ilang mga taong nag memessage sakin before. Haaaaaah. Sa tingin ko, finally, hindi na ko drawn towards unrequited love.
04:18 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Down with colds, so I took a leave at work. Since I've used up all my SLs and VLs, madadagdagan na naman ang salary deduction ko for the next 2 cut offs. Well, anong magagawa ko?
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Hindi pa ko nakakalipat sa new account. Baka 1st week ng July daw. Baka. Nung nicheck ko yung account ko with the current account, July 21 pa ata ang end ng contract. If the contract is the reason, baka matagal tagal pa bago ako makalipat.
I heard na dalawa lang daw kami sa SAP JP Manila team. Tas may 3 pa na Japan-based agents. Yung makakasama ko dito sa manila e JLPT N2 level. I'm only N3. Nabanggit din sa interview na N2 ang hanap nila. Well, they took me in knowing full well that I'm only N3. Still, ang hirap paring hindi kabahan.
Sabi ng kasama kong nakalipat na sa new account, the other girl I'm gonna be with sa team e ipapadala daw for business trip sa Japan for 2 weeks around August. So sabi ko, "teka, hindi ako kasama?" I mean, dalawa lang kami sa team, do I really have to be left behind?
Oh well, joke lang naman yun. If they will send me too, then that's good. If not, okay lang rin. Kasagsagan ng summer ang August sa Japan. When I travelled there the first time, it was around August too. Nangangagat ang init back then. And that was like 14 years ago. With global warming and shit, it's probably even more mainit. Well, keri kahit ano. Though between going and not going, I think mas gusto ko pumunta.
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Damn, I feel so sick. I can't visit my cats in their room coz I'm scared that I'd pass them the virus, lalo nga at kagagaling lang rin ni Iya from being sick. I miss my cats. I want to get well already.
05:52 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Two days and I'll be back to the office. Kung ako ang masusunod, gusto ko nalang mag stay sa bahay. Pero alam kong hindi commute ang dahilan why I dread going to work. I also felt this way even back when we were working from home. But don't get me wrong. I'm truly grateful for this job.
The last 8 days, I've been spending feeding, cleaning, and giving meds to my cat. She finished her antibiotics last Sunday, so now we just need to wrestle for the ear medicine. It's so much easier than the oral one, but not entirely easy.
This morning, I accompanied Mom to walk the puppies. It was more like we walked while carrying the dogs. They're still not used to going outside.
Nangamusta ako sa mga kasama ko na nakalipat na sa kabilang account. Nalaman ko na kaya pala hindi pa ako nakakalipat e dahil mag contract pa ko sa current account until end of June. So mukhang sa July pa ko. Nalaman ko rin na 2 lang kami sa SAP JP team. The other one is a girl na galing sa JP SD team. Sabi ng mga kasama ko, mabait daw. Kinakabahan nga daw yung girl na baka hindi daw kami magkasundo. Kasi daw mas madali daw kasi makipag friends friends sa lalaki kesa sa girls, dahil it takes time daw na maging close sa babae. I actually feel differently. And sa totoo lang, hindi ako comfortable sa mga babaeng "one of the boys" type. Siguro dahil hindi ako makarelate. I'm actually more comfortable with girls. Still, sana magkasundo kami at maging close. Afterall, dalawa lang kami sa SAP JP team. Sinabi ko sa kasama ko na sabihin sa girl na parehas lang kaming kinakabahan. Sana nga mabait sya. At sana maging super close friends kami. Sana maging friends ko rin yung ibang mga makakasama ko. I know life at work will be so much bearable if kasundo mo ang mga kasama mo.
Sa totoo lang, wala akong kagana ganang bumalik sa work. Well, wala rin sigurong gana sa buhay in general. Yung tamad mode ko is at its peak. Still, gusto ko paring maging great human being, and live an incredibly happy and fulfilling life.
Sana ipadala kami sa Japan for 6 months para sa training. Para makapasyal ako at maka attend sa BL-related events easily.
Sana mabait lahat ng kasama ko sa work at maging happy kami na magkakasama at maging close sa isa't isa.
Sana kumita ako ng one million pesos monthly, happily, easily, effortlessly.
Sana magkaron ako ng gwapo at sexy Japanese boyfriend na inlove at loyal sakin. Hahaha!
Hayst.
Makapagbasa na nga ng BL.
10:04 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Andaming ganap sa araw na to. Or, andaming ganap nitong mga nakaraang buwan.
Nag pirmahan na daw sa paglipat sa kabilang account sila Charlie at Ian. Nauna pa yung result ng pag tanggap sakin sa J*I, pero nauna pa sila makalipat. Siguro dahil naka leave ako. Well, hindi ko talaga alam. Sa totoo lang, hindi kami nagpapansinan ni Charlie for months now. Childish despute. Keri lang. Parehas naman kaming hindi kawalan sa isa't isa. Awkward nga lang knowing na magkakasama kami sa bagong account. Yung mga taong ka close ko sa team, sila yung mga hindi natanggap. Well, hindi rin naman ako sure. May part sakin na nag aalala na baka nagbago na ang isip ng account na yun sa pagtanggap sakin.
Hindi ko nilu look forward ito. Pero ayoko ring mainis ang langit sakin sa pag reject ko sa sarili kong blessings. Sana maging maayos ang lahat. Sana makasundo ko ang mga bago kong kasama. Sana hindi ko na kailangang mainvolve kay Charlie—or even kay Ian, kahit in good terms naman kami. Parang gusto ko kasi ng bagong buhay.
Hayyyy. Nakakakaba.
11:08 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。