Opinyon at kuro kuro
土曜日: April 3, 2021



Iniisip ko lang...

If we adopt and rescue puspins, do we really have to hate those who buy furry ones na may breed? Is it really fair to say na hindi sila animal lover because they opted to buy instead of adopt?

Tapos, if you chose to live a meat-free lifestyle, do you really have to look down on those who eat meat?

Our family adopt and rescue cats and dogs and feed strays. I've been full pescetarian for 2 years now, yet I still feel like there's something wrong about common arguments like these.

Sa totoo lang, gusto ko ng french bulldog. Or any bulldog. Ang cute cute kasi. Parang ang cute din ng beagle.

Hindi ako masyadong interested sa cats na may breed. Mukha kasing higad. Hahaha. I think the cutest cat breed is the puspin. Or maybe I'm just biased. Lol.

Siamese cats are also cute. I met one when I was living in Manda and she always visited me at my place. Madalas ayaw nya na umuwi.

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Back to work on a Black Saturday. Mejo naiinggit ako sa may 4-day long weekend. Well, mejo lang naman.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:16 PM.

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Tuesday
火曜日: March 30, 2021



Grabeng pakikibaka sa work kanina. I sometimes feel like I'm holding on to the last strands of my sanity. Pagkatapos ng tabaho, dami pa gagawin, ie., makipaghabulan sa mga kuting para pilitin silang uminom ng gamot.

Nakakaaning. Pagod na ko. Pagod ka rin ba? Tokwa.

Iniisip ko nalang, as long as my loved ones are here, and we still have food to eat, then the heck with everything else. Kahit ano pa yan kaya ko yan.

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Bad trip pa ko sa isang kasama ko sa trabaho na gustong makipagpalit ng shift sakin. Kainis yung reason, hindi kapanipaniwala. May PTA meeting? Weekly? Ano yun walang trabaho lahat mga parents sa school ng anak nya. Tsaka nadun naman asawa nya. Kesyo nasa Manila daw, e online naman lahat ng meetings ngayon. Lol. Balakajan. Hahaha. Ganda ganda ng shift ko, ayoko makipagpalit. Ang tagal kaya nilang di nag calls at pumetix, tas ngayong babalik na sya para mag calls ulet, gusto nyang may shift sya sa weekends dahil konti calls dun. Neknek nya. Lol.

Tsaka bad idea na ilagay yun sa weekends. Sigurado pepetiks yun dahil wala bantay. Kawawa makakasama nya sa weekends. Feeling ko the best na talaga tong ganitong setup. Ewan ko lang kung papayagan sya ni TL. Bahala na.

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Hay... ang hirap nitong mga nakaraang araw, Universe.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 06:30 PM.

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Chotto ne
日曜日: March 28, 2021



Hindi ko alam. Posible kasing ako yung mali. Trust issue lang ba to, or sadyang something's off with this person?

The last time, I learned from a teammate that he was asking to borrow 4k. Kinapos daw e. Tapos, recently lang, he posted on the GC asking for financial help because his mother was going to be discharged from the hospital and the bill got all piled up daw. And he wasn't asking to borrow money then ha, but a "help" daw, so hingi. Tas this morning, wala pang 1 week ata since he posted that on our work GC, kaka in ko lang sa work, nag private message na sya sakin asking to borrow 1k.

I know how it felels like not to have money while your loved one is in the hospital. I experienced that first hand. But it never occur to me to ask for my workmates' help. I never asked anyone to lend me money. And those people have known me for years ha. Eh sya kilala lang namin sa pangalan at sa profile pic na gamit nya sa outlook. That's it.

Pero alam ko, mahirap naman talaga mag judge. Baka sadyang iba iba lang ang mga tao.

I said "no" when he asked to borrow money dahil totoong maintaining balance nalang ang natira sa bank account ko at wala pang sweldo. I even borrowed some money to Mom to buy prescription pet food for my sick kittens, because the store was only accepting cash. I practically live with credit cards alone. I rarely leave money in the bank, much less in my wallet. Hindi naman sya namilit nung humindi ako. Iniisip ko nalang, baka nasa sitwasyon sya na wala talaga syang choice kundi manghiram ng pera. Though I'm not sure if napilitan lang ba syang humingi ng tulong. He sent his message sa GC around 3x when he was asking for financial help.

I feel like there's something off with this guy. Pero siguro nga judgmental lang ako. Our TL said alam daw nila ang sahod naming mga bilinguals. I was ok with it, until this other TL started acting this way. Parang hindi na tuloy ako comfortable. Nag-aalala rin ako na baka masanay sya na laging lumalapit samin twing gipit sya dahil lang sa alam nya how much we earn. Sana mali ako. Siguro hindi naman sya ganun.

Hayst.  Alam ko naman na posibleng misjudgment lang to on my part. Pero kahit ganon, I'm glad that he's not our TL. Salbahe ba ko?

I'm liking our TL so much better now. Surely, I mistook him for a scammer on our first encounter. LOL. Pero sobrang ok naman pala sya. Best plus point nya sakin e when he didn't let Robert have his way when he asked demanded not to take backlogs. The other TL said yes to that without considering na unfair yun sa ibang members ng JP team. Nagustuhan ko how he's fair and firm. Hindi sya nagpa intimidate sa unli-complaints and unli-demands ni Robert. Buti nalang talaga, sya ang TL namin.

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My stomach still feels funny. The doctor prescribed rehydrating powder for me kahit wala naman akong diarrhea. Sabi monitor ko daw for 24 hours. If I'll show symptoms, I will need to go daw to East Ave to see a toxicologist. Goodluck. ECQ na sa Bulacan bukas.

Ampangit ng lasa ng rehydrating powder na hinalo sa tubig. Bleh.

Hindi ako papasok bukas. Mag rest daw sabi ni doc. Watching kdrama ng nakahiga is also "rest", di ba?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:06 PM.

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March 28 2021
日曜日: March 28, 2021



"1 part H2O2, 1 part water," - the label says. I put that label myself. Pero dahil ang sabaw ko nitong mga nakaraang araw, napagkamalan kong tubig.

What a wa-poise way to be sent go to ER.

Tokwa.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:39 PM.

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Bargain
金曜日: March 26, 2021



My kittens were very weak when we arrived back home from the hospital yesterday. I made them drink the prescribed rehydrating water, but they didn't seem to improve.

I cleaned my room, where they sleep, and mop it with zonrox. Same. Doctor's directives. I also cried a number of times when they wouldn't open their mouth to drink. I was so afraid they'll die.

Last night, I wrote an agreement with the Universe that if He'll let my kittens live, recover and become healthy again, I will give a certain amount as tithes on the next cutoff—an amount more than twice my usual tithes. 

I had a quick shower. Pagbalik ko, Iya was eating her recovery meal. Tas mayamaya nakikipaglaro na sila. When I checked their food bowl this morning, naubos nila lahat nung laman.

Tokwa, laki ng babayaran kong tithes this month. Lakas mang-asar ng Universe. Lol.

Pero okay lang. Sana tuloy tuloy na talaga.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:37 AM.

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4:28
木曜日: March 25, 2021



I woke up 5:30 am today with barely any sleep. I was browsing the net for ways to cure my kittens and I came accross an article that showed a lost of symptoms that if you found in your kittens, you need to send them to the vet immediately daw. My kittens have those symptoms. 

I was worried the entire night, I slept past 1am, yet woke up even before the alarm rang. Was too worried to eat breakfast, I left the house with my kittens with an empty stomach. Pag balik ko, lunch time na, but needed the leave again to buy meds.

Sobrang nakakapanic ang araw na to. Nicai seemed a little better, but the other kitten, Iya, looked more lethargic than ever, samantalang kahapon mas masigla pa sya kesa kay Nicai. Feeling ko tuloy nakasama pa na dinala ko sila sa vet. Huhu.

Both of them were vomitting, though si Nicai, mas receptive sa water na may dextrose powder, and she's also eating. It was around past 2pm when I had my first decent meal of the day, then halfway the meal, Mom called me out telling me na naghihingalo na daw si Iya.

Hayst. Ewan. I don't want to let go of my kittens. I can't. Ayaw. I forcibly fed her and made her drink rehydrating solution. The vomiting stopped. Nagka energy na rin syang tumalon para tumago sa kabilang bakod. Sabi ng doctor, every 2-3 hours daw dapat ipapainom yung rehydrating solution, I make them drink more often than that. Grabe yung relief na nafeel ko nung after ko syang piliting kumain ulet, lumapit sya sa nanay nya at nagdede.

Hopeful parin ako na my kittens will get through all these. That they will recover and be back to their happy and maharot selves.

Universe, please.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:45 PM.

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Ano kare ga suki
水曜日: March 24, 2021



In my dream last night, I was with a man. We were eating at what seemed to be a sidewalk. I've mentioned na parang ang sarap ng softdrink. Then out of nowhere, may biglang sumulpot na vendo machine. The guy bought me a coke. In the dream I was secretly wishing that he bought me coke zero or coke light instead, as I couldn't stand the taste of a regular coke.

Tapos, andaming celebrities dun who act like normal people. Near me, there was Kento Yamazaki squat sitting in his pambahay ala Alice in Borderland. On the other side naman nandun si Kamenashi Kazuya, nakaupo sa concrete stair next to the sidewalk. May iba pang celebs dun na di ko alam ang pangalan. I asked the guy who was with me if we were in Tokyo, kasi parang inaka(province) yung place, pero dun nakatira yung mga celebs. The guy said, Tokyo daw pero inaka part. Kulit nung dream.

-------

Off tomorrow. Debating whether it's safe to bring my kittens to the community vet dahil ang hina nila kumain. Sabi ng staff dapat daw 8am nandun na. Parang kangaroo ang mga pusa ko, at mabilis din silang tumakbo, baka bigla sila makawala, masagasaan, or kaya makain ng aso dun. The vet near the house is still closed. Ayoko naman ipagsapalaran sa vet na kakilala ng nanay ko. Lahat kasi ng alaga namin na nainjectionan nun, na deds. Baby palang ang mga pusa ko.

When I got my other cat, Jiufen, he was a little bigger than my kittens now. But since then until now, I don't remember him ever losing his appetite. The kittens also have diarrhea, that's why I'm really worried. Ano ba gagawin ko? Huhu.

Dapat siguro nag vet nalang ako at hindi Civil Engineering nung college. Pero kahit ganun, wala naman akong pinagsisisihan. Mag aral kaya ako to become a vet, no? Online naman na ang classes e. Tokwa, hanapin ko nga to.

-------

Alam mo, bet ko talaga tong guy na to.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:14 PM.

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Ichi nenkan
月曜日: March 22, 2021



It's been a year since this Work From Home setup started.

I am supposed to have APE on Wednesday. Kaso ayun, lock down na naman ulet. Hindi pa ma confirm ng HR kung kelan pwede magpa sched sa clinic. I was actually looking forward to my planned SL. Pa APE sana ko ng maaga para maagang makauwi at makapag kdrama marathon. Lol.

I can kdrama marathon daily though. I just don't. 

For some reason, bringing back the lockdown made me remember how I felt like nung 1st time na nagkalockdown last year. I hate this uncertain feeling. See, uncertainty is something a control-freak like myself find really disconcerting. I feel like grasping to find control again. Tokwa. Bahala na.

But as long as I still have the people I love, and we still have money to feed ourselves, then maybe it's not so bad.

Know what, a former colleague's mother just died. The Mother is not far from my age. Maybe late 30s or early 40s. Biglaan daw. Na stroke. After 2 days, deds na. She looked pretty fit in pictures.

Ewan.

-------

An officemate and I were talking about a dating app while I was on lunch. Kulit ng convo.

Officemate: ang dami ring poging AFAM dun, kaso yung iba mga mukhang puday.

Z: hahahaha. Anong hitsura nung mukhang puday? May hiwa sa mukha? Hahaha.

Officemate: I mean, mahilig manghingi ng nude pictures. Hahaha.

Tokwa, hanggang ngayon tawang tawa ako sa imagination ko sa kung ano hitsura ng mukhang puday. Hahaha. Ang literal. Tokwa. Hahaha ulet.

Sabi ng relationship coach na finafollow ko sa FB, don't put your life on-hold daw dahil lang sa pandemic. Kung ayaw mo makipagdate at a time like this because you're not good at chatting, then take it as an opportunity daw to learn this skill. And dating is a skill daw.

Kaya ayun, nag open ako ulet ng dating profile. Hahaha. Tapos ang tamad tamad ko naman mag reply. Hahaha ulet.

I'm actually interested in someone at the office. Wala lang naman. Pampasaya lang ng araw, tsaka inspirasyon din para magpapayat ulet para makapag post na ko ng bagong picture sa FB. Hahaha.

I seem to really like men with authority, no? Pero sigurado ako na ayaw ko sa taong authoritative. Gusto ko ng lalaking chill, pero ayoko rin nung hindi maingat sa trabaho nya.

Was backreading entries from years ago, and came accross my posts back nung may ganap pa kami ni L. 

I never hated that person, you know. And I don't think I hated any men na nakaharutan ko lang, tas nawala nalang. Lol. Because even for however brief moment, they actually added color to my life. And in however little ways, may natutunan ako sa kanila about men, or about relationship itself. At napapangiti pa rin ako sa memories ng mga kilig moments eventhough the feelings I've felt for them had long left na. All cool.

You know what, I feel really comfortable about being single. I actually love the freedom of being single. Hindi naman talaga ako natatakot to stay this way for the rest of my life. It's just that... 

I like men. I genuinely do. It's not even in lustful ways. I just feel like they were built to suit my taste.

And I still think about building a relationship.

So I figured, if I still think about it, then maybe it's because, I still want it. Di ba? Idk.

Kaya ayun. I plan to do what any normal person who would like to build a relationship will do—attend a seminar! Hahaha. 

Wala lang. Hahaha. Paparegister ako sa workshop tungkol sa mga lalaki. Sounds silly, but I really think this will be fun.

Dami ko pa pala gagawin. O sya! Ja!



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:02 PM.

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Do
土曜日: March 20, 2021



Sumagot pa pala si Robert sa message namin, the following day, kung kelan off namin nila Wendy.

As always, he sounds like a toddler having tantrums. 

Madali lang naman pumatol at palakihin pa ang mga bagay na ito, but if this wil cause me my peace of mind, will that be worth it?

Syempre hindi. 

Hayahay weekend at work today. Holiday sa Japan, so there will probably very few calls. Hindi ko maintindihan. Binasa ko lang naman yung message ni Robert, pagod na pagod na ko.

-------

I'm feeling a little sad today.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:24 AM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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