Random thoughts before i snooze off
Wednesday: August 23, 2017



Everyday i brainwash my niece, "love ka ni Tita," and since then, her response to "love mo ba si Tita," evolved from "hindi" to "mamaya nalang" to "opo" to "love" to "lablab Tita".

Sabi na nga ba, powerful ang words. Matry nga sa crush ko. Hahaha. Charot.

Sighs. Just trying to lighten things up for it wasn't a good day. Iniisip ko nalang na this is the Heaven's way of pulling me out of here. Make me experience pure hell so i will have no other choice but find a way to get out. Gusto kong maniwala na magagawa ko nga to.

Was looking at a friends profile in fb. Aside from seeing what i initially sought, i found a picture of a boy resting on her chest. Probaby "The Guy". I've been wondering about this even back then. How she's highly social, sexy and confident with gazillions of other wonderful traits. i thought then that there's no way someone wouldn't notice her because patterns said there should and I'm a believer of patterns. If the guy is indeed "The Guy", then the pattern still works pala.

If so, then all i have to do is to folllow the pattern and get the same result. Kaso nakakatamad.

Kung magiging honest ako sa sarili ko, sa tingin ko, hindi ko pa talaga kailangan. Lalo na ngayon na magulo pa lahat. Na sarili ko nga hindi ko maayos. Minsan siguro, binabato lang saten ng langit ang mga bagay na kaya na natin saluhin. Sa totoo lang, ok lang naman talaga saken.

A few people lurking. One's a charmer. I don't trust charmers. They are the most deceitful type, i think. I'm familiar with their weapons 'coz partly, i am one too. That makes it harder for me to trust them all the more. Normally, i would at least take a look, but not now....

Been feeling so low. Plus there's the headache which started since Monday. I'm probably PMSing. I still eat like a construction worker. My pants don't fit anymore. Pero ayoko na magreklamo. Balang araw mawawala ang PMS at baka hanap hanapin ko naman sya.

Naiisip kita. Oo ikaw.



* * * * * * * * *



Written by cinderellaareus at 10:01 PM.

write a comment





Basic Speech Project no. 9: Persuade with Power
TOASTMASTERS SPEECHES: August 21, 2017



---------------

BSP9-Persuade with Power

Title: Seek and you shall find

Time: 5~7 minutes

---------------

Dama mo ang kada palo ng orasan. Tik tak tik tak tik tak.

Minsan pakiramdam mo para kang time bomb na sasabog nalang.

‘Twing may reunion, itatanong sayo, “trenta ka na wala ka pang asawa?”

‘Twing may ikakasal naman ang sasabihin nila, “Uyyy, susunod na sya…”

Yung pinsan mo na noon baby pa, ikaw dalaga na.

Ngayon may baby na, ikaw dalaga pa.

Napag-iiwanan ka na ba?

Bilyong bilyong tao sa mundo, gaano nga ba kalaki ang chance na at least isa dyan, nakalaan para sayo?

Ayon sa Philippine Statistic Authority, mayroong one hundred four point ninety two milyong tao daw sa Pilipinas. Fifty two point eighty eight million dyan, lalaki. Kung ang target mo ay mula thirty hanggang thirty nine years old, seven point nineteen million. Ang single dyan, three point thirty seven million. Ganyan karami ang choices mo.

Nasa lipunan tayo kung saan tinuruan tayong maghintay at maniwalang kung nakatakda, mangyayari. Kung ukol, bubukol. Na ang tunay na pag-ibig, sa tamang panahon ay ihuhulog lang ng langit kahit wala kang ginagawa.

Bakit nga naman hindi? Si Snow White nga, kumain lang ng mansanas at si Cinderella, nag-iwan lang ng sapatos, pagkatapos, boom! Nakatagpo sila ng Prince Charming.

Nakakatawa na t’wing bibili tayo ng gadget, mag reresearch tayo. Magbabasa ng reviews para sa magandang model. Hihingi ng recommendations sa mga kaibigan at kakilala naten. At bibisita ng napakaraming gadget stores hanggang sa mahanap naten ang gadget na fit para saten.

Pero sa paghahanap ng taong makakasama naten habang buhay, handa tayong saluhin ang unang jerk na ibato saten ng tadhana. Hindi ba walang sense?

Sa libro ni Bo Sanchez na “How to find your One True Love,” sinabi nya na isa sa mga paraan para ma-attract ang One True Love mo ay ang pagiging responsable sa paghahanap nito.

Huwag mong iasa sa langit. Huwag mong iasa sa kapalaran. Huwag mo iasa sa mga bituwin. Sa parehong hindi mo iaasa lang sa langit ang pagtupad sa mga pangarap mo o ang paghahanap ng paraan para mabayaran mo ang mga bills mo.

Pero, teka, kung ako ang maghahanap, paano kung hindi si “the One” yung matagpuan ko?

Na brainwash tayo ng lipunan sa konsepto ng “the One”. Destiny. Tadhana. Na may iisang tao-IISA LANG-na nakatakda para satin.

Pitong biyong tao sa mundo, gaano naman kalaki ang chance na matagpuan mo ang “the One” na yan? One in Seven billion. Mas malaki pa ang chance mong tamaan ng kidlat o manalo sa lotto.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang paniniwala mo, pero naniniwala akong kung totoong may Diyos na lumikha ng lahat, isa syang tagapaglikhang mapagbigay. Pinuno Nya ang mundo ng napakaraming biyaya. Binigyan Nya tayo ng iba’t ibang uri ng puno, halaman at hayop para marami tayong pagpipilian. So, bakit Nya lilimitahan sa iisa ang pagpipilian natin pagdating sa taong makakasama natin sa buhay? Naniniwala ako na marami posibleng maging “the One.”

So, kung hindi iisa ang “the One” at may three point thirty seven million kang pagpipilian, ibig sabihin ba magiging madali lang ang lahat? Uhm… hindi rin.

Si Oliver Emberton, sa kanyang blog ay nagbigay nag formula para sa dating success.

Dating success = Jellybeans x awesome

Isa isahin naten.

Jellybeans.

Kunyari may isang garapon na pupunuin mo ng limang daan na pink jellybeans at limang daan blue jellybeans. Gaya ng karaniwang social circle, hindi gaanong mahahalo ang mga pink at blue jellybeans. Isa ka sa jellybeans na yan at kailangan mong makihalo, makihalubilo, dahil ito daw ang multiplier ng dating success mo.

Multiplier. Kasi mayroon ka nang magandang produkto, sarili mo. Kailangan mo lang iharap ito sa mga potential buyers. O sa kasong to, potential partners. So, mix up.

 

Ang sumunod ay Awesome.

Posibleng merong mga tao na mas attractive kesa sayo, pero ibig sabihin ba, wala ka nang magagawa tungkol dito?

Sabi ni Oliver Emberton, “make a life that’s awesome”. Kapag awesome daw ang buhay mo, tumataas ang attractiveness mo.

Maraming taong single ang nagtataka kung bakit nananatili silang single. Magaganda naman sila, matatalino, mabubuting tao.

Karamihan sa mga single na ito ay ginugugol ang bawat weekend nila sa harap ng TV. Paminsan minsan, tatayo sila papuntang ref. Tapos babalik sa harap ng TV. Ref TV Ref TV. Kailangan nilang ma-realize na sa pagitan ng ref at TV, walang masyadong potential partners dun. Kailangan mong palawakin ang mundo mo. Gawin mong awesome ang buhay mo.

Mag volunteer, sumali sa mga clubs, sa Toastmasters. Matuto ng bagong sports o di kaya ibang languages. Sa ganitong paraan, parehas mong mami-mix ang jellybeans at makakagawa ka rin ng buhay na awesome. Karamihan sa mga kakilala ko ay nakilala ang naging partner nila sa buhay sa mga ganitong klaseng activities.

Tandaan mo, may magagawa ka para sa kinabukasan ng sarili mong love life. “Seek and you shall find,” sabi nga sa bible.

Kapwa Toastmasters at mga panauhin, ang pagpili ng taong makakasama naten sa buhay ay isa sa pinakamahalagang desisyon gagawin natin. Huwag naten itong ipaubaya sa tadhana, huwag naten tong isa walang bahala. Dahil ang mga bagay na mahalaga, pinag-iisipan, pinagpaplanuhan, at kung sakaling hindi mo pa natatagpuan, hinahanap.

---------------

This speech lacks coherence, but for some reason, I ended up the best prepared speaker that night.

the GE who was a law student said gusto nya daw ako kasuhan for having so many english words for my supposedly filipino speech. lel.

So long as my audience is happy, then im happy. im just so glad bsp9 is done and over with. wooohooo! Plus, this is my first (and maybe, only) speech in tagalog.

bsp10 na lang. pero saka ko na siguro to pro-problemahin.



* * * * * * * * *



Written by cinderellaareus at 10:59 AM.

write a comment





Time is gold. The plated type.
Sunday: August 20, 2017



One month + advanced birthday gift from the parentals.

A shining, shimmering, splendid automatic wristwatch, price of which amounts to the wristwatches i owned in my entire lifetime.

For someone who lived with divisoria bought wristwatch (about 50- 75 php apiece) most of her life...

I cant wipe the smile off my face. Lel.



* * * * * * * * *



Written by cinderellaareus at 03:48 PM.

write a comment





Saturday and rain
Saturday: August 19, 2017



One laid back Saturday. It's been a while since a weekend had been like this. I took a nap after lunch and woke up at around 4. Went downstairs and found mom and dad on the sofa sitting with our dog, mongee, beside them. I squeezed myself inbetweeen mom and the dog.

I love days like this. Doing nothing next to the people you love.

One day, I'm gonna build something like this too.

------

We were calling it a night. I got off the car and waited for the bus. He was waiting with me. It was raining and he was just standing there getting drenched. I raised the umbrella over his head to cover us both. He took it from my hand and held it for the two of us.

We know in part, we understand in part that's why i try my best not to judge people especially since i can only see molecular portions of their story. Still, i know that this person is someone good and I've seen how he has taken care of the people closest to him. I pray in my heart that he will be taken care of and will be treated better. I really do.

Tiny role though, my part in his life... I promise, he will always have my respect...

For as long as I'm a part of it.



* * * * * * * * *



Written by cinderellaareus at 08:24 PM.

write a comment





Jellybeans
Thursday: August 17, 2017



Wait, what? Thurday na?

Parang ang bilis ng week na to. Nakakapikon kasi isang linggo na rin tong monstrous appetite ko. Sa apat na taon ko sa cage, kanina lang nagkaron ng pictorial anik para sa APAC and JP teams. Kung kelan ang taba taba ko na. Thank you very much.

Speech ko bukas. BSP9. Matapos ang matinding pagpilit sa sarili, natapos ko kahapon. Taglish. Sabi pwede daw mag english or mag tagalog ang mga prepared speakers pero walang nagsabing pwedeng taglish. Sighs.. Bahala na bukas.

Naiinis pa ko sa naisip kong topic. Kung kelan persuasive ung speech, tsaka pa ko pumili ng topic na wala akong credibility. I usually try to make my speeches spotless pero kasi ayoko nang ma stuck sa bsp9. Gusto ko na mag move on. Still, sana magustuhan ng audience.

-------

Naaaning ako sa ilang mga bagay bagay... Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla kong naaalala lahat ng nakakainis na ginawa mo ages ago. 

Ang weird, na mimiss ko yung panahong mahal pa kita.



* * * * * * * * *



Written by cinderellaareus at 07:47 PM.

write a comment





9th and how it all started
Tuesday: August 15, 2017



Was searching for an entry on how i first attended a tm meeting. found this on a september 2015 entry:

------

it was a happy weekend.

saturday, yang and i went to a toastmasters chapter in QC. extreme nosebleed moment, man. people in there use the english language as naturally as breathing. ang gagaling nila! my normal self would've felt intimidated, but during those times, i didnt feel that way. i was more like... challenged. see, i've seen sha nacino's plaque for winning a toastmasters contest before and since then, i want the same plaque for myself. i dont know how could that be possible.. but yeah.

from what i understand, there would be an inter-division contest where a girl named janelle will be joining as representative for their division. she looked smart. i wonder if she's going to win the contest. i have no idea how good people from the other divisions are. i dont even know what division sha is from. there's also another girl in there who seem to be joining a contest for evaluators. i didnt know they do contests for evaluators too. she' great too, with matching animated face, actions and all.

the people we sat with on the same table was a married couple who just recently joined the club. i find it so nice watching them doing something like this together. i think for most cases, after getting married, the lives of a married couple will be all about raising a family, sending the kids to school, etc etc--but will never be about theirselves as an individual or their personal growth... it made me think that maybe, marriage doesnt always mean having to live a life less than the life you had as a single person. maybe you can continue learning. maybe you can continue taking care of yourself. maybe you can continue to be an awesome human being just as how you were as a single person. or even better, maybe you can get to do it all together with your partner. i guess it all relies on picking the right partner... maybe.

aside from that couple, there was another couple there who are much older. indeed, one can never be too old to learn new things and extend youself to your full potential. this said couple were 2 among the 5 who gave their prepared speeches. And despite the age, they were awesome!! i love their stories and i love how they delivered it. nakaka amaze. nakaka.. awe... nakaka... basta.

if it wasnt for the whopping 3200 membership fee, i wouldve join right away. funny, 3200 use to be nothing back in the day, but now i consider it as a whopping amount. hindi naman ako magastos. in fact, the last time i updated my wardrobe was  more than a year ago. And kung uso pa ang piko ngayon, sa sobrang obsolete at lowtech ng phone na gamit ko, pwede mo nang gawing pamato. i dont know why money has the habit of extinguishing itself before my eyes recently. i wasnt even able to take advantage of the recent stockmarket bloodbath. sighs..

siguro tama si yang, ang dami dami kasi naming gustong gawin. laser focus daw ang isa sa mga secret ng successful people-- and that's the very thing i dont have at the moment.

yang and i were thinking of club hopping first tas saka na muna magpa member, kasi nga, mahal. we we're so amazed by their guest general evaluator named jesse. we heard he's from a chapter in cubao. we're thinking of sitting in for that chapter too (to hunt jesse. but he's probably married, #zannen..haha).. mejo inconvenient nga lang yung sched and merong "Membership eligibility criteria required" daw. so im not so sure if we are eligible to sit in. we'll see.

------

fast-forward today, ang dami nang nagbago. ang dami palang pwedeng magbago in a short span of time. i wonder how things would be like if i didnt join elite, if i ended up in another club instead. hindi ko maimagine.

i honestly think that our club is the best. pero syempre, bias ako. i also checked the profile of tm's from another club that i recently added in fb. i have this weird feeling na they probably feel the same about their own club. ganun ata talaga.

TM meeting this fri. im supposed to deliver my bsp9. im still halfway through its completion. halfway palang. anong petsa na? it's gonna be a filipino themed meeting. taglish speech ko. i told mentor i wont be sending him my draft kasi baka uminit lang ulo nya sa wrong grammar ko.

tagalog naman kami magsalita sa bahay. kaso kasi, jeje levels talaga yung tagalog ko so mejo kinakabahan ako this meeting. etong lokong andre pang to was proposing na mag multa daw para sa mga mag-eenglish. ayawan na. mag sa sign language nalang ako.

in character na ang mga kasama kong tm sa aming group chat. ang lalim ng tagalog nila, literal na nakahilo. mukhang mano nosebleed ako sa meeting. magdadala ko ng tissue.

shucks... wala pa pala kong speech. huhu.



* * * * * * * * *



Written by cinderellaareus at 03:27 PM.

write a comment





Dear Crush, I am good.
Saturday: August 12, 2017



One down. Isa sa mga problema ko ay natapos na.

So i served as a test speaker today for the area contest of areas 1, 3, 5 and 6. First time to be evaluated by 11 people in one sitting. May mga humabol pa nga ng evaluations after the contest. Nakauwi na ko ng bahay at lahat, meron paring humabol ng evals via messenger. Nakakaliw.

I was once a contestant too so alam ko dapat kinder ako. Pero kasi hindi ako nakapag lunch kanina at gutom na gutom na ko kaya lumilipad yung kilay ko paminsan minsan sa ibang evaluators.

One mentioned about Malcolm gladwell and assumed i read his book.

I didn't.

One assumed i am a CC and the speech i delivered was from an advanced project.

It wasn't an advanced project and im not yet a cc.

One called me Cha.

Another called me Sha.

Another one didn't even know my name and called me "the toastmaster". Weird.

One kept on gesturing towards where i WAS and never hitted my actual place.

I would be more understanding if i wasnt so hungry.

Natutunan ko na being evaluated by that many people pala was no joke. My head started pulsating after the 5th evaluator. 

Pero sulit naman. Nandun kasi yung crush ko. Bakit ba nagiging sulit lang ang kahit anong hassle pag may lalaking involved no? Lol.

Anyway, he was my first Toastmaster crush back when i wasn't a toastmater yet. Yang and i first saw the guy the first time we visited a TM club as guests. I didn't join that club but i remember, he was the GE then, and i was mezmerized.

Simple, effortless at ang gentle tingnan at pakinggan. After a few research (aka online stalking), nalaman ko na, wow, maka Diyos din sya. Smart, magaling na speaker tapos maka Diyos pa. Super perfect! Only, nalaman ko rin na merong konting problema....

Married sya. Hahaha. Magpapamember sana ko sa club nya nun kaso exclusive daw club nila and hindi open to all so i ended up in my club now.

And so, ayun nga, contest. Kita ko yung name nya sa contestants and i was like, "OMG! Yung crush ko!"

Tagal ng hinintay ko, men... 3rd to the last speaker sya e. Pero sulet. Sarap nya parin pakinggan. Ang gentle. Parang ang bait. I was like, "i-uwi ko na kaya to?" Hahahaha... Hayyyyy crush.

Nakakatawa na for the last 5 years, consistent ako. Laging sa dalawang klase lang ng lalaki ako nagkakainteres. Kundi bading, married. Haha. Pero sigurado akong wala akong gagawin, because i am good.

I am good.

I am good.

I am good.

Powerful daw ang words at pag paulit ulit mo daw na sinabi ang isang bagay, malaki ang chance na magka totoo.

I am good.

I am good.

I am good.

-------

I asked LA to invite crush to be our GE in one of our following meetings. But he'll be competing with gabby and we have to keep our aces on our sleeves as Gabby said, so baka matatagalan pa. Ok lang. 

Division contest in a few more weeks. I'm pretty sure Gabby will win, pero excited parin akong makita si crush ba bigyan sya ng good fight.

Also, kanina, kahit mahiyain akong tao, i asked crush for a selfie. Keribels. Hindi nya naman ako laging makikita e. Kakainis lang ang pangit ng kuha. Hindi ko tuloy mapost at nang maitag ko sya sa fb (yes, na-add ko yung crush ko sa FB!!! Gosh, I'm so brave...). Kakaunti lang ang picture ko na kasama ang someone na crush ko. Takte pa, kahit isa yata walang maayos dun.

--------

In-injan kami ni jay at jer so it was just LA and I. We ate our super late lunch after the contest and had our lengthy kwentuhan. I'm so happy that LA was there. Kung wala siguro sya, baka umiyak nalang ako dun. Hahaha.

I told LA of this dude who's a TM from another club. I needed to ask her if it's normal for that dude to constantly chat with another TM. Hindi daw. I told her how the dude is off limits and my reason on why i plan to keep him around.

I know it's hard to accept my unconventional reasoning. I'm just glad that instead of being preachy and all, LA always seem to understand. She's such a wonderful human being.

-------

So yun... 1 down. Isa nalang ang problema ko. BSP9. Oh help me, Lord.



* * * * * * * * *



Written by cinderellaareus at 10:29 PM.

write a comment





Power and danger
Thursday: August 10, 2017



Last sat,  after the contest, we ate, watched kita kita and then trained a beauty pageant contestant for her Q&A portion. 

The girl's name is Unity. Beautiful name, beautiful face, but more than that, she's a super sweet human being.

But sabi ni gabby, the sweetness should be toned down daw while on stage... Siguro kasi naooverpower ng sweetness ung confidence at elegance na nirerequire ng pageant. 

If there was someone who can project a sexy confidence vibe among us in that table then, that's probably Jay. Nag mark lang saken ung convo nila ni gabby that time. 

G: Jay,  pag ikaw ang may mukha na gaya ng kay Unity,  pano ka kaya? 

J: Ay, baka naging makasalanan na ko. 

Jeez... That Jay gave me a good laugh.

Wala lang. Naisip ko lang na time and again, I've seen how a lot of things can make more potent weapons than good looks. Especially since people often underestimate the effect of these things. 

I've been seeing positive effects. I guess I'm getting better with my weapons. 

Have u ever been trusted with power? When I was young, I was scared of having power for I might mess up. When I got older, I was scared because of what I could turn into with that power. But recently, things are changing. I realized, I'm no longer scared. Siguro finally, na convince ko na ang sarili ko na I can be trusted. Na wala akong gagawing masama. 

Sabi ni Bo Sanchez, ang money daw is neither good nor evil. Instead it is neutral. It doesn't turn u into something good or bad. It can only magnify what u already are inside. So kung mabuti ka,  with money, lalo lang bubuti. If masama ka,  with money,  mas sasama ka pa. I think,  same goes for power. 

I believe I am good. I believe I can be trusted...

Sana nga tama ako. 



* * * * * * * * *



Written by cinderellaareus at 11:13 PM.

write a comment





37
Thursday: August 10, 2017



that number of minutes and im capping off the week. j-holiday tomorrow so it's a long weekend for me.

asked mom to cook buchi tomorrow. i miss mom's buchi, im so excited.

---

this week's mood fluctuated between super happy to super depressed and those that are in-between. probably the time of the month. ang lakas ko pang kumain. been on cheat day the entire week. ENTIRE WEEK, TEH. gah! kung kelan kailangan kong rumampa sa sabado.

kinakabahan ako. ano na naman ba tong pinasok ko? pero kasi, minsan, kailangan din naten ng konting gulo para mag grow tayo, di ba?

---

ang labo. kaninang umaga ang saya saya ko. tas puteeeek, now, depress na depress ako. ang nakakatawa (nakakainis) pa, hindi ko alam kung bakit.

ugh, damn pms!



* * * * * * * * *



Written by cinderellaareus at 03:30 PM.

1 comments



« · »
C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

about me

my name is z

navigate

Home
Archive
Profile
Gallery
Friends
Friendsof
Favorites

credits

template|| Up4Grabs
image 1 ||www.neatorama.com
image 2 || deviantart
blog host|| Tabulas
content || cinderellaareus


layout design : izaia_zah






reliable Counter
Web Hits Stat