Entries in category "Wednesday"



Something
Wednesday: January 17, 2018



I remember it quite clearly. When I was younger, I thought that the moment you'll realized that you're in love with someone, may makikita kang rainbows, may makikita kang butterflies, complete with mushy details and all. 

Years ago, I learned that it's not really like that. 

I remember I was boarding a jeepney then when I felt a sudden kick in my gut that told me, "now this is something". I knew then that it was real.  Nothing fancy though. Walang rainbows, walang butterflies. Just a silent realization that I was feeling "something".

Sabi nila futuristic daw ang mga babae. Tipong hiningi lang ang number mo, iniisip mo  na kagad ang magiging motif ng kasal nyo pati pangalan ng mga magiging anak nyo. Well, I don't deny that. 

But then at that time,  I was beyond futuristic. Kasi that time, I thought that if this is something real, then it can't just stay here in this life time. That it must surpass my days and his and should probably last for all eternity. Iba rin no?  I remember I even wrote a poem out of this. I forgot the 1St line, but the rest went like, 

When centuries gone past, will you and I be just a part of history, lost and replaced with a new world? 

If so, how can a love so true fade away just like that? 

Yeah, mushy. Ikr. 

I don't know. It's been years and I never felt that "now, this is something" feeling again. 

Maybe because he was the only one who came that close. 

I wonder if in the future, someone else will come just as close as that. Or at least close enough to maybe fall in love with me. 

.......

Kdrama effect. Ugh, damn this. 

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Bukod sa time at money, may isa pa pala sa mga resources ng tao ang dapat nyang i-conserve.

Ang kanyang attention span. 

Sa ngayon talaga si Son Oh Gong (Lee Seung-gi) lang ang naiisip ko.  Nakaka adik yung 'A Korean Odyssey', ayoko nahhhhh!  T_T



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:24 AM.

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Thoughts before bed
Wednesday: January 10, 2018



I remember the kdrama, goblin, and wonder if being immortal could mean that you can gather riches at magpayaman since marami kang time. Pero naisip ko na baka hindi rin. Because maybe it's not really about how much time you have but on how you actually spend your time. Ang hirap siguro maging immortal tas broke ka. Buti nalang hindi ako immortal. 

Iniisip ko rin na siguro masaya lang maging immortal if may kasama ka na gusto mong kasama for all eternity. Kung ako yung Goblin's bride, gugustuhin ko rin maging immortal kung si gong yoo ang goblin ko. All the more if si Lee seung-gi. Wahhhh! Puso ko!!!! Lel. ><

Pero eto seryoso...

I tried thinking of a person (or persons) I'd be willing to spend eternity with, but I couldn't name one. Parang nakakalungkot tuloy. I wonder how other people would answer this.

Ikaw, do you have anyone in your life you are willing to spend eternity with?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:32 PM.

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水曜
Wednesday: December 6, 2017



pick your reason:

1. I am pregnant

2. I am getting married

3. I am migrating to Antarctica

i hate lying, but then sometimes id want to keep the truth to myself. i wish they will just quit asking.

---------

December had just started and i cant wait for it to be over already. 2 more events and im free.

club's yearend party this friday,

then the following friday, ill be meeting meguri and the kids.

then, maybe finally, i can have some peace.

bff will also be going home in rp later this month with her boyfie. she asked me to go to baguio with them and said she'll bring romel along. her moves scream desperate measure of setting her single friends up. smh.

its been a while since bff and i had a heart to heart talk. i havent updated her much about my life. when she went home in time for my birthday, we mostly talked about her new found love life. whenever she asked about how i had been, i kept my answers short and brought the topic back to her. idk. that girl knows me so well. one wrong word and i know she'd see through me.

dont get me wrong, i trust bff with my life. siguro sometimes, no matter how close we are to the person, there are just things that we'd rather keep to ourselves.

isnt it odd how sometimes, the things that affect us the most, we find so hard to talk about?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:19 AM.

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Fed up
Wednesday: November 29, 2017



One by one, their reasons emerged as to why they cannot be there.

As much as I want to be all understanding since I know that we all have lives outside this circle that we are in, I just can't help feeling like I was left all alone on this.

...

Kailangan ko ba talagang gawin to?

E kung hindi narin kaya ako pumunta?

Naiinis na ko.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 06:33 PM.

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12:00am thoughts
Wednesday: November 2, 2017



If you can't sleep, count your thoughts instead of sheeps.

1. Ang galing ni Heneral. Parang kahit anong isulat nya, kalokohan man or seryosohan, nagiging work of art. Pak. Ang galing talaga ni Heneral.

2. A photo of Bo Sanchez facing his wife in kimono. He had his hands in his pocket gazing at Marowe like she's all that he can see. Super awww moment. Pag nakatagpo ako ng lalaking ganito... Ay nako, Universe... Kung makakatagpo lang talaga ako ng lalaking ganito.

3. Sabi sa nabasa ko, hindi daw healthy na masyado naten i-fangirl or i-idolize ang isang tao kasi minsan nakakalimutan naten na kaya rin nateng gumawa ng bagay na just as impressive.

4. Mejo masaya ko lately.

5. Nanood kami ng The Ghost Bride kanina. Majority ng tagalog horror films na napanood ko, panget (Shake Rattle n Roll, Pagpag, etc). This one, hindi panget. Not exactly maganda, pero nagustuhan ko yung latter part. Nakaka amaze ang culture ng mga Chinese. I wonder if the Chinese traditions shown in the film are fact based.

6. I remember you liked (likes?) this Chinese girl... Urgh! Nevermind.

7. Don Juan of the Zodiacs. Ito yung description na napanood ko sa youtube about your sign. I think that was on point. R has the same sign too. Also a Don Juan in his own way. The rest of the descriptions fit just as much. Naisip ko lang na theoretically, sino bang magkakagusto sa lalaking babaero, hindi gentle with his choice of words at hindi keen on settling down?

8. Jeez, I have terrible taste in men.

9. "Ako si Super Maaaaaam"... My niece and sis-in-law left for Cavite last Saturday and since then, wala ng sumasagot ng "lumalaban!" everytime na kumakanta ako ng "ako si Super Maaaaaam".

10. Ok. Hindi ko na kaya. Inaantok na ko.

11. Shucks, it's working...

12. Antok n q zzzzzzzzzz....



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:29 AM.

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Turning tables and stuff
Wednesday: October 4, 2017



I know this.

That feeling when your stomach tightens into a knot at the thought of not seeing him there.

Of going crazy knowing that he will be with this other girl (eventhough he said she's someone else's), because you know what presence can do and it drives you nuts.

How you try so hard not to look obvious whenever your eyebrows fly off the ceiling everytime he's talking with another girl. Or girls for that matter.

If it's up to you, you'd want him all for yourself, but you believe that being jealous is so unattractive, so you keep your cool. 

Keeping cool didn't bring you so far back then.... Why insist? Idk.

This is what I hate about allowing someone to hold a place in your heart. These mini tortures that are side effects of caring about another human being other than yourself.

And I thought I wouldn't like you.

Jeez.

----------

Still feeling not fine. Probably bday blues. I know my life is not really as bad as how it feels like. 

I know.

I still wish I feel otherwise though.

I heard from jane earlier about how one shouldn't let the mess inside be projected outside. Good point.

Still thinking if I'd attend the meeting on Fri. I need a bday rest, but my mentee will deliver her 1st speech and I feel bad to even consider allowing her deliver her speech without her mentor. Pero kasi...

I've been feeling so low lately I prefer fewer human interaction. I did see them a few days back though and it went well naman. Idk. I still have a day to decide. Bahala na.

---------

Wait, I need to sleep.

Ciao!



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:34 PM.

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Random thoughts before i snooze off
Wednesday: August 23, 2017



Everyday i brainwash my niece, "love ka ni Tita," and since then, her response to "love mo ba si Tita," evolved from "hindi" to "mamaya nalang" to "opo" to "love" to "lablab Tita".

Sabi na nga ba, powerful ang words. Matry nga sa crush ko. Hahaha. Charot.

Sighs. Just trying to lighten things up for it wasn't a good day. Iniisip ko nalang na this is the Heaven's way of pulling me out of here. Make me experience pure hell so i will have no other choice but find a way to get out. Gusto kong maniwala na magagawa ko nga to.

Was looking at a friends profile in fb. Aside from seeing what i initially sought, i found a picture of a boy resting on her chest. Probaby "The Guy". I've been wondering about this even back then. How she's highly social, sexy and confident with gazillions of other wonderful traits. i thought then that there's no way someone wouldn't notice her because patterns said there should and I'm a believer of patterns. If the guy is indeed "The Guy", then the pattern still works pala.

If so, then all i have to do is to folllow the pattern and get the same result. Kaso nakakatamad.

Kung magiging honest ako sa sarili ko, sa tingin ko, hindi ko pa talaga kailangan. Lalo na ngayon na magulo pa lahat. Na sarili ko nga hindi ko maayos. Minsan siguro, binabato lang saten ng langit ang mga bagay na kaya na natin saluhin. Sa totoo lang, ok lang naman talaga saken.

A few people lurking. One's a charmer. I don't trust charmers. They are the most deceitful type, i think. I'm familiar with their weapons 'coz partly, i am one too. That makes it harder for me to trust them all the more. Normally, i would at least take a look, but not now....

Been feeling so low. Plus there's the headache which started since Monday. I'm probably PMSing. I still eat like a construction worker. My pants don't fit anymore. Pero ayoko na magreklamo. Balang araw mawawala ang PMS at baka hanap hanapin ko naman sya.

Naiisip kita. Oo ikaw.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:01 PM.

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Level up
Wednesday: August 2, 2017



Dapat talaga secret lang e. Pero ang hirap to keep a secret from a friend. I'm just so excited for me and jay. Mejo puyatan nga lang. Meeting on friday. I wonder if i can do something to ensure we end on time. I will be the tme after all. Besides, the contestants have to rest.

Excited na rin ako for our contestants. Im just a bit worried about the boy. He looked drained. When we talked as we were going home, i was able to confirm if my guess as to why he was being that way was true. Turned out, i guessed it right. I hope he's feeling better now.

Know what, im bothered by how the boy is so much like R. See, I'm a believer of patterns and i haven't seen one failed before, so i really don't know.. Still, baka mali lang ako. But if tama ako, e ano naman? Wala naman problema dun di ba? Ewan ko. 

Para rin kasi syang glass na pwedeng mabasag sa kamay ko. Or baka nako-compare ko lang sya kay R. Minsan kasi parang detached rin naman sya like me. If that's the case, edi walang problema. Or wait, baka wala naman talagang problema. Lol. Praning lang.

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Kailangan ko ng magsulat ng speech. Tumambay na sa pc ko ung jonathan speech ko. Hindi ko mabigyan ng justice. Kasi naman may pagka horror. While writing halfway, natatakot ako na baka bigla bigla nalang may multo. Hahaha. Pak this. Baka umisip nalang ako ng ibang speech. Puteeeeek, anong petsa na? Huhu.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:33 PM.

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