Entries in category "Tuesday"

Tuesday: November 14, 2017

Almost everyday akong may insomnia. Nakakapikon na twing kailangan kong gumawa ng speech, alas nuebe palang, antok na antok na ko. Bakit ba ayaw makisama ng writing skills ko?  T_T

Then ang hirap palang magsulat ng speech while nakikipaglandian chatting on the side. Para sa lovelife ko, siguro kailangan ko na matutunang mag multitask.

I'm a bit worried about the boy. I remember someone once asked me, "sasaktan mo lang ba ko?" I thought the question was ridiculous considering that it came from the guy... He turned out to be right though.

Tingin ko normal naman na minsan may masasaktan ka kung hindi mo sila gusto. Hindi ko lang ma-justify e yung case na nangyayari yun kahit pa sa taong gusto mo.

Parang ngayon??


Gusto ko naman sya. Magulo lang kasi talaga ngayon. Ewan ko.


Ok. Sige. Tama. Hindi pa pala tapos speech ko. Huhu.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:11 PM.

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Moana and Maui
Tuesday: October 17, 2017

She used to say, "Moana ako," but Tita, who loves to annoy her, told her, "Hindi ka Moana. Ako Moana. Ikaw Maui." Instead of getting annoyed, she disarmed Tita with her cutest smile and replied, "Ah, Maui."

Tita lost it.

One time, Mom saw she had ballpen marks on her skin. When asked, "bakit ang daming sulat sa hita mo?" She answered, "E kasi Maui ako e." Jeez. Seriously, will I ever win against this girl.

Our baby Kaitlyn is turning 3 on Nov 2. I love our baby girl to bits and I pray that she'll remain as sweet and adorable as always. Maybe she can grow to be a little less maldita also.

We will be flying to the far off island of Naic Cavite the following Saturday to attend the party. Nakakatamad. Bukod pa don, TM meeting the night before, so it's either I skip the meeting, or go to the party without sleeping. Feeling ko ang dami ko nang na-skip na meeting nitong taon na to. 

Weekends are packed with family related activities. Tito just got back from Dubai and there'll be a number of family gatherings until he and Tita will fly back on Nov 10. Gathering means eating fiesta. Great, just when I got myself in our club's biggest loser challenge. If it's just me, ok lang. Hindi naman talaga ako competitive. Pero kasi I was partnered up with Ivan and our place in the challenge will be decided based on the average of our results. Enebenemenyen. Huhu.

KCON on Nov 23-26. Imposibleng hindi ako kakain. That's 2 weeks before the weigh in. My gawd! 


Family gathering a few days back. As expected, they're still obsessed with my lack of love life (at least, that's what they always assume). Cool naman ako. I even invented a lot of witty comeback for this, but this time, I was caught off guard.

Mom had a bestfriend when we were young. Tita Lita. When she died from childbirth, her husband married my tita, mom's younger sister. The marriage gained Tita 2 step children, a boy and a girl. The boy is now about 40 or late 30s and is still single. Tito told me before that if only he and Tita aren't married, he would have wanted his son to end up with me daw. That made me cringe but I just let it slide.

Pero that day on our family gathering, they went all out. Tita told me right within the boy's earshot, "ba't hindi nalang kaya kayo ni kuya * mo? Okay lang yan, hindi naman kayo magkadugo."

I was shookt. I know they've been desperate to find the boy a mate, but I can't believe they would, in their desperation, consider me. "Dyos Mio Marimar" was all I managed to say. I'm still all ewwww pag naiisip ko to and it's not because the boy looks bad (he doesn't!), it's just that, it feels like incest. I think, even if he's not Tita's step son, he's a family friend so parang family na. Incest parin yun. 

I wasn't offended or anything. I just find it weird how people seem to want to "treat" singleness like it's a disease or something. Sometimes I wish I can feel their urgency too though. Because if so, then maybe I would at least exert an effort to improve my love life.

On a date with bff the Monday that followed my birthday, she told me something about being in a relationship. She said na before daw, nung single pa sya, she thought that being in a relationship is so much of a big deal. Pero ngayong my bf sya, she realized na hindi naman daw pala. Na ang pinagkaiba lang ng single sa in a relationship e yung may ready lang kasama if gusto mo pumunta somewhere or may ready kang kausap if gusto mo ng kausap. Natuwa lang ako sa humility at sincerity nya. Well, she is my bff for a reason.

Sa tingin ko, simple lang naman if gusto mo magka jowa. Magpa cute ka sa type mo hanggang sa magustuhan ka nya. If hindi effective, e di yung dude na may gusto sayo na hindi mo type, patulan mo na. Simple lang naman di ba? Ang hindi lang magets nung mga tao na wala sa sitwasyon mo e yung angle na, "wait, kailangan ko ba talaga?"

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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:35 AM.

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all for Daisy
Tuesday: September 26, 2017

I remember our former J-quality manager, Meguri, loved Leonardo diCaprio. He used to rant about how he cannot believe why Leo was yet to get an award from Oscars. I wonder how he felt when Leonardo finally got one. I love that dude too since Inception, so today I decided to watch one of his movies. Chose The Great Gatsby. Ngayon ko lang naintindihin bakit Gatsby at Daisy ang pangalan ng 2 pomeranians ni Meguri.

Hindi naman 5 stars pero super affected ako sa movie na to. Now, it's taking so much of me to fight the urge to storm the bookstore later and find the book version. Please, please... wala pang sahod, Z... T_T

Sheeeeeet. Nakakalungkot.


Yesterday was the Huntsman. Because Chris Hemsworth.

Watched him in Ghostbusters last Sunday, and shoooot, ang gwapo nya please! *drools*


Oh, I just realized TGG was my 10th movie since I started watching at least 1 movie per day.

I don't know what I'm trying to get out of this. I don't watch a lot....


Wait... I think... Actually, I know.


So what to watch next?

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 04:00 PM.

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9th and how it all started
Tuesday: August 15, 2017

Was searching for an entry on how i first attended a tm meeting. found this on a september 2015 entry:


it was a happy weekend.

saturday, yang and i went to a toastmasters chapter in QC. extreme nosebleed moment, man. people in there use the english language as naturally as breathing. ang gagaling nila! my normal self would've felt intimidated, but during those times, i didnt feel that way. i was more like... challenged. see, i've seen sha nacino's plaque for winning a toastmasters contest before and since then, i want the same plaque for myself. i dont know how could that be possible.. but yeah.

from what i understand, there would be an inter-division contest where a girl named janelle will be joining as representative for their division. she looked smart. i wonder if she's going to win the contest. i have no idea how good people from the other divisions are. i dont even know what division sha is from. there's also another girl in there who seem to be joining a contest for evaluators. i didnt know they do contests for evaluators too. she' great too, with matching animated face, actions and all.

the people we sat with on the same table was a married couple who just recently joined the club. i find it so nice watching them doing something like this together. i think for most cases, after getting married, the lives of a married couple will be all about raising a family, sending the kids to school, etc etc--but will never be about theirselves as an individual or their personal growth... it made me think that maybe, marriage doesnt always mean having to live a life less than the life you had as a single person. maybe you can continue learning. maybe you can continue taking care of yourself. maybe you can continue to be an awesome human being just as how you were as a single person. or even better, maybe you can get to do it all together with your partner. i guess it all relies on picking the right partner... maybe.

aside from that couple, there was another couple there who are much older. indeed, one can never be too old to learn new things and extend youself to your full potential. this said couple were 2 among the 5 who gave their prepared speeches. And despite the age, they were awesome!! i love their stories and i love how they delivered it. nakaka amaze. nakaka.. awe... nakaka... basta.

if it wasnt for the whopping 3200 membership fee, i wouldve join right away. funny, 3200 use to be nothing back in the day, but now i consider it as a whopping amount. hindi naman ako magastos. in fact, the last time i updated my wardrobe was  more than a year ago. And kung uso pa ang piko ngayon, sa sobrang obsolete at lowtech ng phone na gamit ko, pwede mo nang gawing pamato. i dont know why money has the habit of extinguishing itself before my eyes recently. i wasnt even able to take advantage of the recent stockmarket bloodbath. sighs..

siguro tama si yang, ang dami dami kasi naming gustong gawin. laser focus daw ang isa sa mga secret ng successful people-- and that's the very thing i dont have at the moment.

yang and i were thinking of club hopping first tas saka na muna magpa member, kasi nga, mahal. we we're so amazed by their guest general evaluator named jesse. we heard he's from a chapter in cubao. we're thinking of sitting in for that chapter too (to hunt jesse. but he's probably married, #zannen..haha).. mejo inconvenient nga lang yung sched and merong "Membership eligibility criteria required" daw. so im not so sure if we are eligible to sit in. we'll see.


fast-forward today, ang dami nang nagbago. ang dami palang pwedeng magbago in a short span of time. i wonder how things would be like if i didnt join elite, if i ended up in another club instead. hindi ko maimagine.

i honestly think that our club is the best. pero syempre, bias ako. i also checked the profile of tm's from another club that i recently added in fb. i have this weird feeling na they probably feel the same about their own club. ganun ata talaga.

TM meeting this fri. im supposed to deliver my bsp9. im still halfway through its completion. halfway palang. anong petsa na? it's gonna be a filipino themed meeting. taglish speech ko. i told mentor i wont be sending him my draft kasi baka uminit lang ulo nya sa wrong grammar ko.

tagalog naman kami magsalita sa bahay. kaso kasi, jeje levels talaga yung tagalog ko so mejo kinakabahan ako this meeting. etong lokong andre pang to was proposing na mag multa daw para sa mga mag-eenglish. ayawan na. mag sa sign language nalang ako.

in character na ang mga kasama kong tm sa aming group chat. ang lalim ng tagalog nila, literal na nakahilo. mukhang mano nosebleed ako sa meeting. magdadala ko ng tissue.

shucks... wala pa pala kong speech. huhu.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:27 PM.

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Tuesday, rain and flood
Tuesday: August 1, 2017

dead sleeeeeeeeeeepy. i ran out of tea. i cant believe i will be this antok without a dose of caffeine. coffee's (and milo) free here at the cage, but i cant risk having GERD back.

just about an hour more and im off.


finally thought of a speech for some event in about 2 weeks from now. now i have a place to tell my "jonathan" story. gusto ko sana yung pwede ko na gamitin sa bsp9 or 10 ko. pero ok narin. sayang naman kasi yung kwento kung walang makakarinig. sana mabigyan ko ng justice. excited na kong isulat! sana magawa ko ng maayos.

will be going to ivan's place later to see gabby and everyone else. support lang for their training. might do some coaching. gabby asked me to coach him. antok na antok talaga ko pero nagtatampo na daw kasi si gabby, kaya o sya, pupunta na. gusto ko rin naman pumunta. magluluto daw si gabby. sayang hindi makakarating si LA. sana pumunta si jay. hindi ko alam kung pano ko iko-coach ang taong nag-coach sakin pero siguro ang mahalaga nandun ako kahit for moral support lang. marami rin naman akong nabasa at napanood na tips sa net. maybe i can share that too. or maybe some of my theories on how one can apply aos in public speaking. kahit ano pa man, sana may maiambag ako kay gabby.

everyday yata this week ang training nila. sa sabado na kasi ang contest. nakaka miss din mag  training. excited na rin ako para sa aming mga pambato. sana back-to-back gold ulet for elite. We need a heart-to-heart talk about this, Universe.


i thought you've made a decision. why are we getting back here?

i love your way of making things happen.

i hate how i keep saying im leaving only to find that my feet had always been planted in that same field from where we started.

know what... para kang ulan.

hindi ba, maganda naman talaga ang ulan?

kaya, o sya...


saka ko na iisipin kung pano ko masu-survive ang baha.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:16 PM.

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Super quick
Tuesday: July 18, 2017

Need to be in bed before 10 so this is going to be quick.

- im excited that injan's new co will be in cubao, meaning, we can see eachother more often. She's one of my fav peeps in the world and im dying for a little heart to heart talk with her right now.

- july 21, Friday, there will be a club contest for evals and humorous speech. That's also my brother's bday. Said kuya will be having an early out and mom's making hirit, "ikaw lang ang wala". I wonder if i should just skip the contest.

- still recuperating. i admit im not yet okay.

Time's up.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 09:43 PM.


Tuesday: June 13, 2017

Was 13 minutes late today. Another 2 minutes and I'll be expecting a love letter from the cage. 

The day was stressful. We had some line issue which would've been good since line issue means no calls, if only we didn't need to report the whole thing to the client all in Japanese. Thank you very much. 

Was also doing some VP ed duties on the side while creating and sending out invites for mom's 60th birthday party. Pag nag mumultitask ako, feeling ko na di dilute ang utak ko. Hindi na nga ata utak laman ng skull ko kundi taho. Ang hard, bes. 

I proudly showed mom the invitation poster I designed myself when she noticed I had the date wrong. Ang masama pa, it was the same poster that I sent to everyone earlier. Very smart. Sighs. 

Sabi what you focus on expands daw. Kaya oh sya... The day's done, we can make bawi tomorrow. 

Still, im fancying having a few days off. Total shut down away from... Everything: Responsibilities.. Social media... Etc. Pwede naman. I can go have a trip somewhere.. Kaso parang ang lonely naman kasi. Kung single lang sana si injan, pipilitin ko syang samahan ako. 


Know what, simpleng tao lang talaga ko e. Simple lang yung mga gusto ko at mga hinahanap ko.

Gusto ko lang ng makakasama kong magsimba.

Or tumakas somewhere pag hina haggard na ko ng mundo. Or kami ng mundo.

Yung sasamahan akong pumunta sa baguio para kumain ng strawberry taho kahit ayoko naman talaga ng lasa.

Tas sasamahan ako sa bencab museum at Mt. Cloud bookshop. Tas syempre bibili kami ng longganisa. Sh*t, ang sarap ng longganisa sa baguio! Biglang gusto ko tuloy ng tocino. Haha. Anong konek?

Isang araw babalik ako ng Baguio...

Tapos isasama ko yung taong gusto kong kasama. 

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 10:32 PM.

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not friday
Tuesday: May 30, 2017

tuesday payday. it feels so much like friday.

will be exhausting my social juju laters for some multilingual night with other multilinguals from different accounts. im feeling so much like a hermit right now id rather go home early but i guess it wouldnt hurt to meet new people that hopefully share the same interest. hope this event will turn out to be a good one.


i learned years ago how i do not have to explain myself on why i do the things i do or choose the things i choose and the like. i guess i have to relearn these all today.

we know in part. we understand in part. sometimes people behave as if they know everything even when they have no idea about your whole story. i wouldnt get pissed of on a normal day. it's just that im PMSing now so i am indeed pissed off. but this will pass.

i have high regards for people who somehow managed to retain some degree of their innocence although i think most of it is an act. but then ignorance is something i repulse.

i hate hating things/people so i have to stop now.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 03:31 PM.

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patterns and gloom
Tuesday: May 23, 2017

some bad news. i feel like the Universe is pushing me to the edge.

pag nasa rock bottom ka na daw, makakagawa ka ng incredible feat.

i know this feeling. that feeling like your chest is being tighten into a knot. and your insides too.

pure hell. ive been here.

i believe that the Universe operates in patterns, because God is an organized god. He didn't place things at random. all are systematically arranged and each has a purpose. parang planets na umiikot sa axis in patterns. parang DNA or yung atoms. kaya merong clues, may chance i-replicate ang results.

i remember after pure hell comes bliss. at least, that was what happened back then. umaasa ako na the same pattern applies this time around. well, as to that, we will see.


the air felt tight. im not liking this. bigla ko tuloy namiss sina mina at mel. i hope things get better once we get a hold of the changes. sa ngayon, hindi ako masaya.


when depressed, i eat and sleep a lot. as far as i know, hindi naman ako depressed, troubled lang. but lately ive been having 2 to 3 servings of rice per meal. PER MEAL, pre. what the fudge. i dont even eat rice on a regular basis.

buntis ba ko? eto na ba ang susunod na immaculate conception since Mama Mary? (joke lang po, Lord. Peace!)

thankfully, my clothes still fit. until when, im not so sure.


ang buhay ko ay sumasabay sa gloominess ang langit ngayong magtatag-ulan na naman.

gusto ko ng ulan kasi pinapaganda nya lahat ng bagay na madadaanan nya. parang yung mga dahon at bulaklak pag umuulan.

siguro ganun ata talaga ang pattern. parang holy week. kailangan mong pagdaanan ang gloominess ng maundy thursday, good friday at black saturday para mas lalo mong maappreciate ang saya ng easter.

nasa anong araw na ba ko? sana black saturday na, para bukas easter naman.

* * * * * * * * *

Written by cinderellaareus at 01:09 PM.


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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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my name is z




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