Entries in category "火曜日"


火曜日. June 23, 2021

Me no itami

Off work to rest my eyes. Feeling ko scammer yung doc. Sa mahal nung gamot, yet my eyes aren't feeling any better.

Few minutes after opening the tv, sumakit agad yung mata ko, so I spent the afternoon sleeping. My eyes hurt as I write this. It hasn't been 5 minutes since I started.

Dahil natulog ako ng tanghali, ang hirap matulog now.

Ang aga ng pasok ko. Ansakit pa ng mata ko. Good luck talaga sa work bukas. 


12:33 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. June 8, 2021

Blessed?

Said my pc replacement will get to be delivered by the weekends pa. That's a full week without work, but with pay. As much as I'm grateful, I still feel uneasy about it. I feel like I was given a gift I didn't deserve. Bukod don, nahihiya rin ako sa mga kasama ko sa work.

And the oddest part is that I still wish to be free from my job when I'm not even working. Ano bang problema ko?

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I was supposed to attend a webminar on forex with Mel today. Skipped it and decided to finish watching Encounter instead. Just a few days ago, I felt like I've already set the motion towards the most realistic thing I should work on. What's with this 180 degrees turn? Tae.

I re-watched the 1st episode of Encounter after finishing the final episode. I wanted to see the long-haired Park Bo Gum again, and I also loved the setting (Cuba). Ang ganda rin ng music na pinakinggan nila while watching the sunset. Kahit hindi naman talaga ako mahilig sa music, nagustuhan ko.

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I bought 2 cans of beers today. Foreign brands. Something that reminds me of the pre-covid luxuries I used to experience. I miss dim lights, fancy tablewares and table tops, soft music, smell of overpriced coffee, etc. Parang ngayon ko lang naramdaman to simula ng pandemic.

Gusto ko na bago matapos ang lahat ng ito ay malaya na ko.

Alam ko. Wala naman talaga ako sa posisyon para magreklamo. This job is giving me so much more than I will dare to ask. So much more than I actually deserve. Even the past jobs that I had weren't bad either. I used to think that maybe it was because of money. But I do have money now, yet still feels the same.

Then, naisip ko rin na baka dahil lang sa mapapagod ako sa byehe papasok sa trabahaho. Pero hindi na ko nagko commute, pero ganito parin yung feeling. At kahit ngayong isang linggo akong hindi magtatrabaho, andito parin yung feeling na yun.

Anong bang tawag sa feeling na to? The closest that I can think of is the word "trapped". But I feel like it's an unfair label to give to something that's been serving as a huge blessing. I'm sorry, Universe.

I'm turning 36 this year. Hindi ko parin alam kung anong gagawin ko. Hindi ko rin sure kung ano bang gusto kong mangyari. Basta ang alam ko lang, hindi ko gusto to. Lahat ng ginagawa for over a decade, hindi ko gusto. Tokwa... ano bang gusto ko?


11:09 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. June 1, 2021

Ohayowww

6時の勤務は開始した。

Tahimik. Yehey.

So kahapon, kinausap na ako ng boss. The boss is 意外と話しやすい. I didn't get the terms I want. Hudas was as epal as usual. Still I did my best para hindi matapos ang meeting na wala akong napapala. In the end, the boss ordered na tanggalan kami ng PDT skill until we finished the training. Lel. Boss ordered Hudas na siguraduhing matapos to within the week. E 3 sa group namin off ng Thursday and Friday, myself included. Bleh, ayan, dami mo extra work now.

Tinabla ko rin yung sabi nya na ako nalang daw mag relay ng info sa iba. Aba, trabaho nyo yan no. The boss listened. Extra work ulet for Hudas. Haha.

Sa totoo lang, di pala masaya maging difficult employee, or person in general, kagaya ni Robert no?

I also feel like the tiny benefit that I can get from being difficult is not that worth it compared to the peace that I have to sacrifice in order to get it. My peace worth so much more than this.

Kaya, oh sya. Ang mahalaga, wala kaming pdt calls hanggang walang maayos na training at access. I still hate Hudas. Gusto ko syang tirisin. But I guess, I'll just let this go.

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Ang hirap matulog kagabi. Nanood din kasi ako ng Saiki. Natapos ko na ang season 2. Nalungkot ako to find out na 2 eps lang ang season 3. At least meron pa nung Saiki Reawaken ata yun. I think that's about 7 eps din. 

Feeling ko, kakanood ko ng anime, mejo nag improve ang Japanese language skills ko. I'm an auditory learner afterall. But the downside is that, my English skills seem to be getting worse.

Sabi nila, to be good in one language, you have to think in that language at least for 30 minutes daily. Ang hirap pala. I realize that most of the time, I don't use any language at all whenever I think. E for effort talaga to. Ewan ko kung nagwowork ba. Ang alam ko lang, ang pangit ng English ko sa meeting ko with the boss kahapon. The boss is an Indian. No choice. English only talaga. I'd like to think that I can speak in English so much better than this. Tokwa. Nakakahiya.

We have more Japanese calls now kesa English. I still suck in Japanese, and my English is getting worse. Alam mo yung multilingual ka, but you suck in all 3 languages. Juice colored. 

If I will watch an English series or movies for some time, I'm pretty sure my skill will improve a great deal. Pero after a while, tokwa, makakalimutan ko na naman.

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40 minutes na kong avail. Ano bang gagawin ko sa buhay ko? Makapag review na nga lang ng KB ng PDT. Tokwa.


06:43 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. April 20, 2021

Lu

Nakakadepress ang mga balita. Siguro nga designed naman talaga ang mga balita to be depressing.

Nakakapanlumo ang pangbabalahura ng Tsina. Pero mas nakakapanlumo na tila ipinaubaya na tayo ng presidente sa kanila.

Yung nagpasinuno ng community initiative, na red tag pa.

Sa daming kagaguhan, na mas pinagago pa sa loob ng isang taon ng pandemya, gusto kong maniwalang maraming tao na ang natauhan.

Pero may kakilala akong nag post parin at full support sa kanilang puon.

Nakakasuka. Gusto ko na mag migrate sa Canada.

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Nabalitaan namin ang kapitbahay around 5 blocks away e merong pusang ligaw sa bakuran. Will ask Mom to request the neighbor to take pictures. Baka nanduon lang ang mga pusa ko.

Ang walang hiya. Muntik na kong ma Covid kakahanap sayo, bumabarkada ka lang pala. Lol.

But of course, we do not know yet. Still, my hopes are high. 

--‐------

Hay buhay.

Ano bang gagawin namin, Universe? Please help us. Please help the Philippines. 


05:39 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. April 13, 2021

Byouki

Skipped work today as I'm not feeling well. Throat hurts. Plan to spend the day sleeping.

Everyone in the family has colds also. The 1st one to get better was surprisingly our youngest-- my 11 month old nephew. I feel like it's the 1st time I've seen a kiddo eating broccoli like it's chocolate. He also drinks a lot of water. Probably that's why.

Been feeling tired these days. It's hard to complain when there are people who are worse off. My TL said he won't be around for at least 14 days. I wonder if he has COVID. He sent a picture of him with a tube like thingy connecting his nose to... idk, maybe an oxygen tank? He looked really sick. Nakakaawa rin talaga. Sana gumaling na sya. Nakakatakot rin kasi, hindi pa nga namin sya nami meet tas bigla nalang syang mawawala. Ang pangit sa feeling nung ganun. 

----‐‐

I want to feel positive and all light and bubbly. Pero there are days talaga na mahirap gawin yun, no? 

I feel so down today. I also happen to be physically sick at the moment. I think the best thing to do is to hang on, keep going, and believe that the following days will be so much better. 

Isang mahigpit na yakap sa lahat nang hindi masyadong happy!


12:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. April 6, 2021

Quick ulet

Sa sobrang sabaw ko kahapon, auto in yung na punch ko instead if aux during lunch. With this, I missed 4 calls. Ininform ko na rin yung TL namin para si sya ma shock. When he called near 9PM, akala ko papagalitan nya ko. Lol.

Something about work lang pala. Nakalimutan na naman ata na until 6PM lanh shift ko. Lagi nya napapagpalit sched namin ng isa ko pang kasama. Lol. Pero ok lang. Mabilis lang naman.

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Hindi pa umuuwi ang panganay kong pusa. Hindi rin sya umuwi kagabi. Nakakapag-alala. Tas yung mga baby cats ko, katatapos lang ng week-long meds nila, ayun, nagtatae na naman.

Mukhang babalik na naman kami sa doc. Nakakaawa ang mga pusa sa byahe. Kaso, ano namang gagawin ko?

Sighs.


10:53 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. March 30, 2021

Tuesday

Grabeng pakikibaka sa work kanina. I sometimes feel like I'm holding on to the last strands of my sanity. Pagkatapos ng tabaho, dami pa gagawin, ie., makipaghabulan sa mga kuting para pilitin silang uminom ng gamot.

Nakakaaning. Pagod na ko. Pagod ka rin ba? Tokwa.

Iniisip ko nalang, as long as my loved ones are here, and we still have food to eat, then the heck with everything else. Kahit ano pa yan kaya ko yan.

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Bad trip pa ko sa isang kasama ko sa trabaho na gustong makipagpalit ng shift sakin. Kainis yung reason, hindi kapanipaniwala. May PTA meeting? Weekly? Ano yun walang trabaho lahat mga parents sa school ng anak nya. Tsaka nadun naman asawa nya. Kesyo nasa Manila daw, e online naman lahat ng meetings ngayon. Lol. Balakajan. Hahaha. Ganda ganda ng shift ko, ayoko makipagpalit. Ang tagal kaya nilang di nag calls at pumetix, tas ngayong babalik na sya para mag calls ulet, gusto nyang may shift sya sa weekends dahil konti calls dun. Neknek nya. Lol.

Tsaka bad idea na ilagay yun sa weekends. Sigurado pepetiks yun dahil wala bantay. Kawawa makakasama nya sa weekends. Feeling ko the best na talaga tong ganitong setup. Ewan ko lang kung papayagan sya ni TL. Bahala na.

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Hay... ang hirap nitong mga nakaraang araw, Universe.


06:30 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. March 16, 2021

Yume ka

I had a dream last night. It felt so real, I was convinced that I was probably living someone else's life in that dream. Lol.

--‐---

Things are pretty tough at work. I want more sleep.

Kung yayaman ako bigla to the point na hindi ko na kailangang magtrabaho, ano kayang gagawin ko sa buhay ko?

Siguro 1 week akong magpapahinga. Or 1 month. Tapos non mag aapply ako ng kahit anong trabahong trip ko. Gusto ko mag try mag work sa fast food chain. Or kaya hotel. Bet ko yung hotel. Taga serve lang ng food, ganun. Tas pag tinatamad ako, hindi ako papasok. Hehehe.

Gusto ko na yumaman.

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May sinend sakin na voice recording ng isang kontrobersya sa trabaho. The chika item was shocking in itself, but I couldn't help but notice a guy's voice on the recording. He's one of our new hires.

He was so diplomatic, and despite trying to make a point, his grammar was still impeccable. Tapos ang ganda pa ng boses.

Napa check tuloy ako ng profile sa fb. Tokwa, ang pogi. Matinee idol levels. Sya ba talaga to? Sobrang discreet ng profile.

But regardless... ang pogi ng boses nya. Hehehe. Galing pa mag English. 

Hay nako. It would be nice to meet the guy and see if he's as handsome as his profile pic, pero ayoko pa rin bumalik sa office. Lol.

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Oh sya, laban na ulet.


11:24 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. March 9, 2021

Shigoto shigot shigo

I just ended my shift a few minutes ago. The new TL is asking us to have 1 hour OT today and tomorrow, e naka out na ko. Ayoko rin mag OT bukas. Mawawalan ba ko ng trabaho if I refuse to work OT?

Nakakatamad. Why do I have to comply to other people's whim? We barely know the person, dami kagad pinapagawa. Urgh. Hahaha.

Dami ko reklamo sa buhay no? Lol. Ewan ko.

I bought Gomo sim a few days back. I received a message na delivered na daw kahit wala naman nakarating sakin. I sent message to their FB page, chat bot lang ang nagrereply. Sa sobrang badtrip ko, nireport ko sila sa DTI. Hahaha. I sent them a screenshot of the report, kaya today, they sent me a refund.

Tae. Kung tutuusin, DTI's service is just as bad. Chat bot lang din nagreply nung nagreport ako. But at least it was enough to force the concerned party into action.

Have you ever felt so frustrated with the entire universe? Lol. Ewan ko kung PMS parin ba to? Sabi sa forecast, hindi daw maganda ang taon na ito for people who were born sa year of the ox. I feel like my lucky year was 2019. 

But I think what makes me feel so off about this year has more to do with what I feel inside, than what's happening outside.

Ano bang gagawin ko?


04:27 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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