Entries in category "火曜日"


火曜日. December 3, 2019

Tuesday

2:59PM and I've been awake for 2 hours already. I'm supposed to wake up at 5. Takte, pagtulog lang ang goal ko sa araw na to, hindi ko pa magawa.

Met up with Mel last night before work to plan our trip. I just learned that some of her friends will join us. See, Mel is a very kind and considerate woman. Tingin ko, hindi nya lang talaga alam na I don't feel comfortable with strangers. Hindi ko nalang din sinabi. Siguro panahon narin para matuto akong makihalubilo sa ibang tao.

Bigla kong namiss si Injan, my favorite travel buddy.

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1st day ko bilang night shift kahapon. Someone else is sitting on my usual seat so I needed to select a new one  Gelo, who logged off at 9pm, offered me to just sit on the seat he left, saying, "dito ka nalang para may kausap ka". He's so much like PK. When I asked PK saan maganda umupo, he always consider a seat kung saan may makakatabi ako in his recommendations. Sabagay, hindi nga siguro normal sa tao na ayaw ng katabi. I've long known I'm not normal. And really, do I have to? I appreciate these two though. Gelo and PK. 

So, I chose a seat just adjacent to the section where the j-speakers sit. Right behind me is TL D. Next to him is PM who's an SME. I wasn't keen on sitting anywhere near D because I thought he's strict and masungit. I learned na hindi naman pala. Feeling ko nga I picked the best seat because of him. Surely, he's strict, pero within reasons naman. Takot ako magtanong dun dati, pero nakakatuwa na accomodating pala sya. Best part e alam nya lagi yung sagot. Feeling ko talaga, best seat ang napili ko dahil sa taong yun. Pero syempre takot parin ako magtanong all the time kasi baka magalit na sakin yun. I still plan to sit next to PK ng Thu and Fri pag naka rest day na yung katabi nya sa upuan. Yun kasi kahit kulitin ko, di naman magagalit yun.

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3:24pm. Wala pang 4 hours ang itinulog ko. Good luck in staying up until 6AM.


03:31 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. October 29, 2019

Tuesday

Home now. Been commuting from home to work since Monday. I woke up 5:50 since I need to leave before 8 so that I can get to the office before 10. Kaso, putek, ansakit ng tiyan ko.

Tuesday today. Parents will leave later to watch a movie. Senior citizens are free to watch 1 movie every Tuesday here. I will be left alone in the house to nurse this stomach ache. At least I have my dog Gigi.

Earlier this year, Gigi got very sick. I thought she was going to die. I even baptized her so that she can be with her mother - my dog, Thangs - in heaven. Isa si Gigi sa hiniling ko kay Jesus nung Feast of Divine Mercy. Binigay Nya naman. Iniisip ko tuloy kung nasama ko ba sa dasal ko ang love life. Imposible namang nakalimutan ko yun din ba? Nasa Cebu ako non, nakalimutan ko ba?

Ang dami palang nangyari ng taong ito. Ang bait ng Langit. May bago akong work at sa totoo lang, feeling ko ang tagal ko na rito. It has been 3 months pero parang distant past na ang co #3 for me. The only link I got there is this dude who had been sending me messages.

Someone told me before- more like, announced - that this guy has a crush on me daw. Akala ko joke, well, baka joke lang naman talaga, but the guy started sending me messages. Wala lang naman. Hindi rin ako masyado nagrereply. Hindi sa suplada ako. It's just that, that guy is married. Sa tingin ko, hangga't mahal ko ang nanay ko, hindi pa rin siguro ako papatol sa may asawa. Mahirap magsalita ng tapos, kaya "siguro". 

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Hindi ko matandaan kung paano nagsimula, basta bigla nalang na sila Charlie at Wendy e naghahanap ng lalaking irereto sakin. Ipapakita dapat sakin ni Charlie yung picture, pero sabi ko "kahit wag na picture, payslip nalang." When I got back after lunch, Charlie was like, "payslip gusto mo di ba, may nahanap na kaming lalaki para sayo." As I got back to my seat, I asked, "sino?" Then Wendy made me turn around and pointed me to Angelo. He's also a j-speaker. I've seen that guy's payslip. Alam kong pasado. Still, I didn't see this coming. Ang bait ng taong yun, I kinda feel bad na nadadamay sya sa mga kalokohang to.

Payslip nga kaya ang importante sakin? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam.

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Ansakit parin ng tiyan ko. Ano ba to? Uso daw ang swine flu, e hindi naman ako kumakain ng baboy. Red tide?

Matutulog nalang ako.


07:33 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. October 9, 2019

Malay Mo

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different result."

Si Einstein ata ang may sabi neto.

Pero... malay mo.

May story sa bible na nangingisda yung mga apostles. Wala silang nahuli. Pauwi na dapat sila, pero sinabihan sila ni Jesus na try lang ulet, pero sa mas malalim na pumunta. Tipong try the same thing again but do it differently this time around. When they did, it worked for them. Ang dami nilang nahuli, muntik na masira ang lambat at hindi pa nagkasya sa iisang bangka.

Maybe it can work for me as well. Di ba? Lol.

I'm already 34. It's not like I haven't been hurt before. Hindi rin naman ako takot. Pero kung susuong ako sa laban, ayoko naman nung sobrang dehado ako. Yung alam mo yun? Ewan.

Basta. Bahala na. Siguro magpapatangay nalang ako ulit sa agos.

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Gutom na ko. Walang makain sa mall. The last time, magkaron ako ng meeting sa resto na walang salad. Lahat ng nasa menu e pork at chicken. Wala rin shrimp or squid. Ang ending, nag order ako ng cake at mango frappe.

Ngayon ko nalaman na hindi ko pala ikapapayat ang pagiging vegetarian.

Pero ang weird no? At mejo magical din. Hindi ako disiplonadong tao, pero for over a week, kahit anong gutom ko, hindi parin ako kumain ng kahit anong hayop na may back bone.

Wala lang. Ang galing lang.


08:48 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. September 17, 2019

Bagay Things

Iniisip ko kung manonood ako ng sine or mag me-memorize ng speech. Putek, kailangan ko na magtipid. Promise, gusto ko lang suportahan ang pelikulang Pilipino kahit hindi ko naman talaga nagustuhan yung pinanood ko kagabi.

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"Weakness mo talaga ang mga bading no?" BFF said a few days back.

Tingin ko hindi naman talaga ganun yun.

Mejo declining na yung liking though. For all I know, baka friendship lang rin to. 

"Ang sarap ng feeling na mauuna akong umuwi sayo." He said this earlier, pero wag ka, 8 na sya umuwi at sumabay sakin.

"Saan ang way mo?"

"Sa puso mo."

"Ha?"

"Sa puso ng Pilipino."

Kung di ko alam na bading to, iisipin kong nakikipaglandian sakin to. Pero kilala ko sya e. Alam kong normal nya yan.

Still, crush or not, I won't mind having this person around. If only he can just stay.


09:20 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. September 10, 2019

Existence and stuff

I'm taking a leave tomorrow to get my backpay from my old co. Leave without pay. Feeling ko mas malaki pa ang mawawala sakin sa isang araw na absent ako dun sa makukuha ko sa backpay ko.

Mom asked na sa kanya nalang daw and I obliged. One month din kasi akong walang sahod and it took a toll to our household's budget. They're going to Metro to get it. I know they're just finding an excuse na makagala. Syempre treat ko ang food. Ok lang naman. All these, I do for them. Pero sana soon, makahanap na rin ako ng way para makaipon.

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I remember the Wounded Puppy. I always remember that person from time to time. The last time, he told me about his frustrations and how his family has to do with it. He also told me about his plans. I love listening to men's plans. It fascinates me. I remember I was also like this with J. 

He was looking at someone from the far end opposite to where we were seated. "Tumataba na si <insert the guy's name here>. Parehas kayo." Iniisip ko tuloy kung type nya ba yung guy. Tinatanaw nya kasi mula malayo. When the guy actually came near him and asked him something, feeling ko nag-iba yung tone ng voice nya. Earlier that incident, he mentioned the word "bisexual" when what he intended to say was "bilingual".

Bisexual. Narinig ko na to. Y used this same word before. Hindi naman sa judgemental ako, pero based on experience, bi's are most likely homo. Pero syempre I could be wrong. And really, why should it matter?

Would you like a puppy to change? I tried to ask myself if I'll mind in case it's true that he's gay, and the answer is "no". So let's give it a rest and let him be.

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I met LA earlier. Super quick chat over coffee. That girl's shift ends at 12mn. Sinakripisyo nya ang tulog for a quick 30 minutes chika with me.

Ang bait ng Diyos. Binigyan Nya ko ng mga ganitong klaseng kaibigan.

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I'm feeling so tired lately. Feeling ko ang daming demands ng mga tao sa paligid ko, I'm starting to feel rebellious.

Gusto ko ng isang araw na sarili ko lang ang iniintindi ko. Yung may may full peace and quiet. Isang araw lang naman. Pwede ba yun?


11:02 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. September 10, 2019

Crush

September 10 today. In 2 days, 2 months na ko sa company na to. Sabi sa nabasa ko, pag inabot daw ng 6 months at hindi kayo naging friends ng bago mong kakilala, hindi na kayo magiging friends ever. Parang totoo. Sa totoo lang, hindi ako friendly. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong nangyari.

He was introduced to me as "Paul". Pero ang tawag sa kanya ng mga tao ay "PK". He was very friendly, malakas mang asar at umiingay ang office twing dumadating sya.

I was having my training right next to his seat. Pero madalas wala sya dun. Para kasi syang supervisor. Palakad lakad lagi. Madalas mo sya makikita sa kumpol ng mga tao at nakikipagkwentuhan. 

It changed one day though. Nag iistay na sya sa seat nya. He would sometimes help my trainor in training me. Magaling sya magturo. Seryoso sya pag nagtuturo sya. At nagagawa nyang magmukhang simple ang mga bagay na komplikado. Naniniwala ako na ganun ang tunay na genius... those who can simplify things that are otherwise complicated.

Then time went by. Yung training, nasisingitan na ng kwentuhan. Hanggang sa hindi ko na alam kung yung kwentuhan ba ang sagabal sa training or yung training ba ang sagabal sa kwentuhan. Lol.

He often walks around the office para mang asar. Madalas dala yung yung stuffed pillow na lamb ata yun. Ang cute cute nya para syang puppy. Madalas syang tumambay near my seat para mag kwento. Naaliw ako sa mga kwento nya. Ang dami nya kasing sob stories. Para syang wounded puppy. We all love wounded puppy, don't we?

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Ok, wait. Tbc. Dumating na yung ka meet ko. Lol.


10:04 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. September 3, 2019

Mukatsuku

I took a leave in the hope to have myself checked kung ano ba ang sakit ko. I've been using the health card from prev co because it's supposed to be valid for the rest of the year dahil ikakaltas nila sa last pay ko yun. The clinic said mine was cut last July. Current co is using the same health card so I once again tried my luck. Nyemas, wala rin daw. Old and new co are both very near to where I am now. I can easily go there nalang if only I'm not wearing "this" outfit.

Nakakapikon.

Nakakapikon sa Earth. Naiirita pa ko sa napakamaraming bagay at nakakairita na ayaw humupa ng sakit ng ulo ko. Mom said bayaran ko nalang daw yung clinic. 1k plus ang test for dengue. 600 consultation. Afford ko naman. Ayoko lang. May health card kasi ako dapat! Grrrrawr.

Sakit ng ulo ko.

I can ride mrt home. Or bus. Or tryk. Whichever option, kailangan parin maglakad ng konti.

Gusto ko na mag teleport.

I want to stop being sick already.


03:12 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. August 27, 2019

Bad state

Last night, I slept at 12mn.

Woke up at 2am.

Then 4.

Then 7.

7:15

7:30

7:40

Got tired of waiting for the alarm to ring at 8 so I got up a few minutes earlier.

My head feels heavy and I'm having chills. Even appetite is out of sight. I'm probably sick.

This is not good.


08:21 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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火曜日. August 13, 2019

Peks

Pwedeng friendly fondness lang to, pero bilang malungkot pag walang crush, patulan na natin.

Rest day nya today at bukas so walang 5 minutes moment. Kahapon nung nag beep yung pinto, alam ko na kagad na sya yun. 

Sagad sa buto ang pagiging torpe ko so normally, magpapanggap akong hindi ko sya nakita, pero that time, kusang gumalaw yung kamay ko to wave at him. 

Nakipag siksikan sya sa kumpol ng mga lalaking nagchi chismisan papunta dun sa dulo kung saan ako nakaupo. 5 minutes na kwentuhan at ang una kong nasabi e, "PK, namiss kita." I saw his eyes twinkle at that. Then I boldly told him, "tabi tayo pag nag night shift na ko ha." He asked kelan ba ko mag na night shift. Syempre hindi ko alam. He started planning kung san kami uupo.

Friendly si PK. Mahal sya ng lahat at dama ng buong office ang absence nya pag wala sya. Siguro friendly lang rin ang fondness na to, pero ang boring ng walang crush kaya ipilit natin.

"Pag nakikita ko ang buhok ni <insert ng name here>, parang gusto kong kumain ng pancit canton." - mga ganito banat nya. Lol.

I often call him "anak ng drug lord" because of an inside joke.

Ano't ano pa man, sana maging mabuti kaming magkaibigan ni PK. 

R was the closest guy friend I ever had. Nagkatalohan, nagka harutan, pero in the end, hindi naman nagkatuluyan. Ok lang rin naman.

Masaya kasama si PK. Mukhang malabo namang magkatuluyan kami non, pero sana makasama ko pa sya ng matagal.


09:45 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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