Entries in category "火曜日"



Inka
火曜日: May 12, 2020



I've found a girl inspiration in fb who refreshed my motivation on what to do with my life.

The girl's a VO, and boy, ang galing nya. I love her personality too. Sexy pero hindi perfect Barbie doll type. May piercing sya sa nose at tattoo all over like a rebellious teenager, but she seems very sweet to her mom (who's very pretty and just as talented by the way). When I look at this girl, I feel like she oozes with so much freedom and very less care about other people's opinion of her. I want to be like this person. Magaling sa ginagawa nya. Confident. Carefree.

I don't hate myself now. I may not be pleasant all the time, but I think I'm actually kind. Yes, I'm pretty lazy, but I'm always trying. Over the years, natutunan ko naman na ma appreciate yung sarili ko.

Pero kahit ganun, I want to develop a self-brand that my future self will thank me for. 

Extended ba ang ECQ? I want to have more time for this.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:33 PM.

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Chikara wo kashite kurenai ka
火曜日: May 11, 2020



Sabi nung relationship coach, kung single at ready to mingle ka at gusto mo i-improve ang chance mo sa gitna ng pandemic, maging curious ka daw. 

Ang instruction e check out the friends of your fb friends tas hanap ka ng tao dun who will pique your interest then send him/her a message about your common interest. Wag haluan ng expectations. Just be interested. Ganern.

I-checheck ko sana friends list ng kaibigan kong adventurous. Kaso naisip ko, ba't pa ko lalayo?

Mula pagkabata, motto ko talaga sa buhay yung "aim high". Kaya ayun, nag DM ako kay Chris Evans sa IG. Ehehe.

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Monday na. Malamang dagsa na naman ang calls sa shift ko mamaya. Sige lang. Bring it on. May battle plan na ko kung paano ko matututunang mahalin ang trabaho ko... or at least magustuhan man lang.

Sa tingin ko, ang passion e byproduct ng excellence, not the other way around. Struggle muna, tas get better, tas passion. Parang yung love ko sa Engineering Mechanics. Mahirap muna nung una. Tas pagtapos ng struggle, naging magaling na ko. Tas hanggang sa ayan, naging passion ko na.

Hindi ko ma imagine kung paano mangyayari yun sa trabaho kong ito, pero pwede naman sigurong subukan. Oh sya, let's do this!



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:32 PM.

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Not poor
火曜日: April 28, 2020



So, naghalughog ako sa singit singit ng wallet, pouch at garapon na pinaglalagyan ko ng salapi, at ito ang aking natagpuan.

Cash on hand:

100 USD

600 NT

96 Ringgit

 ...

Gusto ko lang naman bumili ng pandesal. T_T



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:16 AM.

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Fire
火曜日: April 28, 2020



2:06AM. I just woke up an hour ago. I skipped work today. I'm not feeling well. Been sleeping in my parents room for the past couple of days dahil ang epic ng init dito sa Bulacan, at sa kwarto lang nila may aircon. Takte, ngayon, inuubo na ko. Nagkaka COVID ba ang hindi lumalabas?

Nalaman ko na may delivery option sa ilang kainan sa SM na pinakamalapit samin. So I checked my wallet to see if kaya kong bimili kahit medium na pizza lang. Takte, 100 na nga lang pera ko, dollar pa. Gah!

Pakiramdam ko ngayon nalang ako ulet nakatulog sa gabi. Nagugutom ako. Iniisip ko kung kakain ba ko or matutulog ulet.

Even during my days off, I adjust my sleeping time so I don't have to deal with the other 2 humans at home (parents). I ignore messages so I don't have to deal with the rest of the humans I know. Ano kayang problema ko no? 

The kanji in Tuesday means fire.

------

Teka! Just one happy thought for this day:

So nag message ako sa mga TLs na hindi ako papasok, and his reply was:

"Sige Za pagaling ka ha : )" 

Ayun, mejo sumaya naman ako sa kababawan na to. Lol. But I guess this is the whole point of having crushes anyway.

Salamat, Crush.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:26 AM.

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Ghost
火曜日: April 7, 2020



1:27AM. Nag out ako sa office ng ala una. Kahit may soft phone, halos lahat ng natatanggap ko nung bandang gabi na e hindi ko marinig sa kabiling linya. Tinuring kong ghost call. 16 calls today. Isa lang ata yung talagang nakausap ko. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit pagod na pagod ako.

Hindi ako nanood ng news today. Extended ba ang lockdown?

Kawawa naman ang kapatid ko. Paano sya makakapunta sa Cavite para samahan ang hipag ko na manganganak?

Mararaming pumupuri sa mga bansa na mahusay naha handle ang virus. Pero kung titingnan mo sila, kahit sila rin nag-istruggle. Talagang sinusubok tayo ng virus na to. Nakakatakot.

At alam kong hindi lang ako ang takot. At pag takot ang tao, lumalabas lahat ng defense mechanism nila/natin to cope.

Meron ako kakilala na medyo na off ako kasi pakiramdam ko sa sobrang takot nya, wala na syang pakialam kung anong effect ng gusto nyang mangyari para sa iba. Pero nung sinabi nyang hindi sya pwedeng magkasakit dahil kawawa naman ang nanay nya at sya lang ang inaasahan, mejo naiintindihan ko na. Nakakalungkot na minsan maiiset aside talaga natin ang pagiging humane pag nagkakagipitan na.

Sa totoo lang, madalas, wala rin naman akong pake.

Ang cheap ipagtanggol ang mga kawawa kung puro ka lang salita. Words are cheap. Action lang naman talaga ang nagka count in the end. 

Nakakabilib ang mga taong nagagawang tumulong at ilagay ang sarili nila sa panganib ngayong may krisis. Samantalang ako ni hindi makapagpaluwal ng isang libong piso para mapakain ang isang mahirap na pamilya sa loob ng isang linggo.

Gusto ko lang siguraduhin na laging may nakahandang pera para sa pamilya ko. Na pag nanganak ang asawa ng kapatid ko, hindi nya kailangang mamroblema kung saan kukuha ng pera. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ang lockdown. Hindi ko alam kung sasapat ba sa amin ang sahod ko. Paano kung biglang may magkasakit?

Scarcity mindset. Hindi ko naman talaga gusto to. Pero syempre uunahin ko parin ang pamilya ko.

Sana maraming nilagay ang Diyos na mabubuting tao para tumulong. Sana sapat ang resources nila para sa lahat nangangailangan.

Sana matapos na to. Sana talaga, Lord.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:59 AM.

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Clown
火曜日: March 31, 2020



I've been reading Deepak Chopra's 7 Spiritual Laws of Success. These laws have been helping me lot and I feel like it is because of these laws that I'm having a lot of good stuff. 

The laws speak of detachment. 

The laws speak of non-judgment. 

Ang hirap hirap i-practice ng mga bagay na ito these days.

Nakakagalit maging parte ng bansa na pinamumunuan ng isang payasong humingi ng emergency power para magpapicture kasama ng pritong isda.

Tapos sasabihin nyang maswerte ang mga tao (doctors/frontliners) na namatay para sa bayan?

These lives were wasted dahil sa kakulangan mo, g*go.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:50 PM.

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Kababawan 101
火曜日: March 17, 2020



1:46PM. Hindi pa ako natutulog. Ang daming kaganapang negative pero wala ako sa mood na ikwento yun. I'm all feeling sunshiney right now kahit medyo heavy na ang head ko from lack of sleep.

Ampogi nung crush ko.

Sa sobrang tagal ko nang walang kaharutan, minsan kinakabahan ako pag nagagandahan ako sa babae. Baka kasi na convert na ko ng di ko namamalayan. Pero dahil sa crush kong to, sigurado akong babae talaga ko. Lol.

Ayoko sa lalaking masungit. Kaya nga di ko crush to dati e. Pero bumabait na sya lately. At lalong nag-iba yung tingin ko sa kanya dahil sa pinakita nya kagabi.

5PM sya pumasok. He was working fervently to fix the PCs we were supposed to bring home para makapag work-from-home kami. 3AM na, hindi pa pala sya kumakain.

Last night, most of us went to the office only to pick up our pc. Hindi naman talaga kami dapat papasok. But the manager said we should login to recieve calls para paid ang pagpunta namin sa office. It was then that D spoke and defended us to the manager. Promise, ang laki ng kina pogi nya nung mga panahon na yun kahit dati na syang pogi.

I've always seen D as someone hardworking. Kala ko sadyang workaholic lang sya. Mataas din ang standards nya sa trabaho. He expects this same standard to the people he works with. It never occurred to me that he'd care though. Suplado nga kasi yun.

Ayoko talaga sa lalaking masungit, but leadership is a quality in a man that I can't possibly ignore. And D has that. He excels on that. On top pa yan sa skills nya sa trabaho. Ang sakto naman sa taste ko nitong taong to!

Maybe that's why he's not single. Kasi, takte, makakaligtas ba sa babae yung ganyang klaseng lalaki?

D doesn't have a single post about his wife in FB. He doesn't really post so much, but he did post some pictures of his son. I wonder how his wife looks like. But regardless, takte, ang swerte siguro ng asawa neto, no? Kung naging jowa ko siguro to, baka ang dami ko nang nasabunutang babae. Hahaha.

------

Pinagdadasal ko, kasabay ng pagdadasal ko sa safety ko at ng family ko, na sana hindi tamaan ng coronavirus ang future husband ko. Sana rin may qualities sya na gaya ng kay D.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:21 PM.

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1238
火曜日: February 25, 2020



I'm just a little bothered. Nothing serious naman.

A friend announced to our ladies' GC her happiness about her club being able to open a bank account under their club's name. Said the maintaining balance is 50k and all of these, they got from their club fund and a kidney daw. I immediately thought the 'kidney' part was a joke.

We congratulated the friend. But the math-loving kiddo in me felt restless. I got a calculator and started computing. Theirs is a relatively new club and an even smaller one. Even with the size of my own club, I knew it's impossible to have a 50k fund. So I asked, "seryoso yung kidney?"

The friend didn't confirm but said something like, "kailangan kasi e." I think this is outrageous and utterly impractical. Things felt off because that friend doesn't seem to be someone who do impractical things. I still can't rest. But if the friend is happy... go nalang siguro. It was then that she said, "hindi pa pala kumpleto 50k, need pa namin ng isang kidney."

Then followed... "baka gusto nyo mag donate ng pusong hindi nagagamit." Lol. I felt attacked.

I love my girls, you know. I still think that they should've used the money for something else though. The bank account, after all, doesn't have any other purpose other than to recieve money, which they'll be sending to the international website soon enough anyway. Hindi ko ma gets. Pero hayaan na natin.

------

Few days and I'll be back to work. Parang ang dami nang nagbago sa setup sa trabaho. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako magsu-survive. Lalo na pag nalipat nako sa panggabi. Hayst... help, please, Universe.

Aalis na yung TL namin soon. Mabait din naman yung papalit. Siguro magiging okay naman. Pero nakakalungkot pa rin. From what I know, open pa ang QA. Sana mapunta kay PK. Wala lang. Para masaya. Naalala ko lang yung interview ko nung nag aapply pa ko rito.

TL: matagal ka sa dati mong company, what made you stay?

Z: the people are nice.

TL: mabait din ang mga tao rito. Magugustuhan mo rito.

Tapos ngayon, aalis sya. Ano kaya yun?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:40 PM.

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Otwh
火曜日: January 21, 2020



A month before my trip, nagsubmit na ko ng leave request kay TL. Ewan ko kung nakukulitan na ba sya sakin. Shift bid kami ngayon, meaning, kung sino ang mas mataas na score, sya ang may karapatang mamili ng shift. 

Partial result for the 1st 17 days of the month just came this week. I'm ranked 6th. 8 lang kami. Syempre naka panic mode na ko dahil dito dahil: 1) ayoko na bumalik sa night shift, 2) I need the best shift possible para konti lang ang makuha sa leave ko for the Taiwan trip, 3 ) Well, mejo nagising rin ang competitive side ko. Syempre ayokong matalo. But more than anything else, ayoko na talagang bumalik sa night shift.

Had a coaching sesh with TL earlier. Inexplain nya kung paano kino compute yung scores. Iniisip ko kung nakukulitan na ba sakin to.

Hayst. Ang hirap mag leave. Ang hirap, Universe. And this is just the 1st streak. I have more in the following months. 

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Ang alam ko, I've unfollowed the guy a long time ago na. Ewan ko kung bakit lumabas sa news feed ko yung post na tinag sa kanya ng wife nya. Nanganak na pala yung asawa nya. Baby girl. Kamukha nya. Hindi naman na masakit. Pero syempre may part sakin na nagwo wonder, "kung kami ang nagkatuluyan, ano kaya hitsura ng anak namin?"

It helps na may iba akong nagugutuhan ngayon.

Pero negs din. Wala naman syang gusto sakin. Hahaha. Pero ok lang. Mejo boss ko kasi yun so magiging complicated lang pag na reciprocate. Tamang pang paalis lang ng boredom lalo na't naiistress na ko sa kaganapan sa iba't ibang aspects ng buhay ko. 

Minsan naiisip ko na "hindi kaya panahon na para bumuo ako ng pamilya?" But building a family requires another person. And that other person is out of my control. I have decided to let go of everything that I couldn't control.

Tingin ko, magpapayaman nalang ako.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:18 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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