Entries in category "Tuesday"

Tuesday: January 16, 2018

Half of the month just passed. Ano bang ginawa ko? 

I know I'd be in trouble but I don't really know how to fix my life so I decided to just sleep. Lol.

At least I'm not sleeping now.

I still don't know what to do, but i should at least do something, right?


Our pups are 4 days old now and they're getting cuter. Our family is a dog loving family. If it's up to us we'd love to have them all inside the house. We used to have all our dogs inside the house until they started killing eachother. The favorites who didn't kill eachother were the ones we were able to keep inside. Thangs, Yuri, Mongee and Gracie May. The 3 died though, so now we only have mongee. I can insist on having the babies inside but that would mean I have to keep gigi outside because otherwise, she'll kill the pups. But I can't do that. I love gigi. Huhu. I wish they can all just get along.


For 2 days in a row,  I was asked by 2 different random strangers about my husband. Both were men. I wonder if I should start wearing a placard stating that I don't have one. 


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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:30 AM.

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2:22 am thoughts
Tuesday: January 9, 2018

I miss writing handwritten letters, 4 pages long (back to back).

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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:19 AM.

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2018 and other sh*ts
Tuesday: January 2, 2018

Watched Siargao. It wasn't good. But out of it came an old idea I held a few months back.

Running away.

I had/have this crazy idea of leaving everything behind, go to Cebu and live and work there for a few months or maybe a year or so.

I think there were many times in my life where I lived a life I wanted to run away from. This is one of those times.


I started to hate how things are.

How do you cure hate? How do you kill hate?

I don't think hate is the opposite of love because if love has an opposite, it must be indifference. And sometimes love and hate are just two sides of the same coin. Is it possible to kill hate without killing the love attached to it?

I don't know. 32 years of living and I'm still not an expert when it comes to life.


2017 had been more about people and less about things. For my own sanity, I wonder if I should make 2018 the other way around.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:00 PM.


Remember me
Tuesday: December 26, 2017

Coco's Remember me playing on loop. I didn't know the audio player of my phone has this feature until now. Few days since I watched it and i want to watch it again. Ang ganda ng coco. May kakaiba pa syang "aftertaste". Lalong gumaganda sa memory mo after mo mapanuod, ganun. Or is it just me?

May way ba na naka loop e 2 songs? Gusto ko rin kasi yung Un poco loco. Bale Remember me tas Un poco loco on loop. Pwede ba sa audio player ng android yun? Any techies here? : )


Hermit mode on. Truth is, i don't really want to watch too much movies/series because I feel like these are killing my braincells, but that's the only way I can block the outside world–having my headphones on with the volume turned up. Wala naman akong issue sa mga taong kasama ko. I just need peace. Yun lang naman. Ang antisocial ko no?

I don't know why I'm this withdrawn lately. PMS?


MMFF started. I'd love to watch it 8/8 pero kasi, una, wala akong pera. Pangalawa, parang ayoko ng vic sotto at vice ganda, no offense. For sure pinaghirapan naman un ng mga gumawa ng film, mejo nauumay lang ako kasi lagi nalang sila.

Kahit wala akong pera panonoorin ko yung Larawan. Nakita ko ung trailer nung nanood ako ng Coco. Mukhang promising. I need to hurry up though kasi sabi nila ipu pull out na raw kasi hindi kumikita. Bakit kaya wala pang say si Heneral about this? Huhu. I hope more people will watch this soon. Sana talaga maabutan ko.

Gusto ko rin panoorin yung 5 pang iba. Bale 6 panonoorin ko. I'm trying to convince Dad na ilibre ako. Hehe. Sighs, why am I so poor? Lol.

I want to change things sa 2018. Alam ko, wala narin akong masyado choice talaga.

Oh Lord, help me.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:39 PM.


Kdrama and stuff
Tuesday: November 28, 2017

LA and Bea suggested an ongoing kdrama to watch. Ep11 na ko. Up to ep13 palang available. Ok narin. After neto pipilitin ko nang maging productive. Hindi naman superb, pero ang sakit talaga sa puso ng mga kdrama.

"Is there a way for me to reach your heart?"

Meron nga kaya? Idk.


Moments ago, I texted a college friend, Glaza, to see which of her numbers on my phone was her real number. Si Nesto ung sumagot. Apparently, one of the numbers was his. Glaza and Nesto were both my classmates in college, and yes, they are now married with 4 kids. Even Nini ended up with one of our classmates, Tope. I just find it cute and rather magical na yung mapang-asawa mo e classmate mo pala. I remember Mom once asked, "bakit ikaw, walang kang nakatuluyan sa mga classmates mo?"

Sa tingin ko, minsan, the kindest thing we can do for a person is to not ask questions. Mom didn't realize that though.

"Is there a way for me to reach your heart?"

Sighs... Ano bang gagawin ko?

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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:47 PM.

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Tuesday: November 14, 2017

Almost everyday akong may insomnia. Nakakapikon na twing kailangan kong gumawa ng speech, alas nuebe palang, antok na antok na ko. Bakit ba ayaw makisama ng writing skills ko?  T_T

Then ang hirap palang magsulat ng speech while nakikipaglandian chatting on the side. Para sa lovelife ko, siguro kailangan ko na matutunang mag multitask.

I'm a bit worried about the boy. I remember someone once asked me, "sasaktan mo lang ba ko?" I thought the question was ridiculous considering that it came from the guy... He turned out to be right though.

Tingin ko normal naman na minsan may masasaktan ka kung hindi mo sila gusto. Hindi ko lang ma-justify e yung case na nangyayari yun kahit pa sa taong gusto mo.

Parang ngayon??


Gusto ko naman sya. Magulo lang kasi talaga ngayon. Ewan ko.


Ok. Sige. Tama. Hindi pa pala tapos speech ko. Huhu.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:11 PM.

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Moana and Maui
Tuesday: October 17, 2017

She used to say, "Moana ako," but Tita, who loves to annoy her, told her, "Hindi ka Moana. Ako Moana. Ikaw Maui." Instead of getting annoyed, she disarmed Tita with her cutest smile and replied, "Ah, Maui."

Tita lost it.

One time, Mom saw she had ballpen marks on her skin. When asked, "bakit ang daming sulat sa hita mo?" She answered, "E kasi Maui ako e." Jeez. Seriously, will I ever win against this girl.

Our baby Kaitlyn is turning 3 on Nov 2. I love our baby girl to bits and I pray that she'll remain as sweet and adorable as always. Maybe she can grow to be a little less maldita also.

We will be flying to the far off island of Naic Cavite the following Saturday to attend the party. Nakakatamad. Bukod pa don, TM meeting the night before, so it's either I skip the meeting, or go to the party without sleeping. Feeling ko ang dami ko nang na-skip na meeting nitong taon na to. 

Weekends are packed with family related activities. Tito just got back from Dubai and there'll be a number of family gatherings until he and Tita will fly back on Nov 10. Gathering means eating fiesta. Great, just when I got myself in our club's biggest loser challenge. If it's just me, ok lang. Hindi naman talaga ako competitive. Pero kasi I was partnered up with Ivan and our place in the challenge will be decided based on the average of our results. Enebenemenyen. Huhu.

KCON on Nov 23-26. Imposibleng hindi ako kakain. That's 2 weeks before the weigh in. My gawd! 


Family gathering a few days back. As expected, they're still obsessed with my lack of love life (at least, that's what they always assume). Cool naman ako. I even invented a lot of witty comeback for this, but this time, I was caught off guard.

Mom had a bestfriend when we were young. Tita Lita. When she died from childbirth, her husband married my tita, mom's younger sister. The marriage gained Tita 2 step children, a boy and a girl. The boy is now about 40 or late 30s and is still single. Tito told me before that if only he and Tita aren't married, he would have wanted his son to end up with me daw. That made me cringe but I just let it slide.

Pero that day on our family gathering, they went all out. Tita told me right within the boy's earshot, "ba't hindi nalang kaya kayo ni kuya * mo? Okay lang yan, hindi naman kayo magkadugo."

I was shookt. I know they've been desperate to find the boy a mate, but I can't believe they would, in their desperation, consider me. "Dyos Mio Marimar" was all I managed to say. I'm still all ewwww pag naiisip ko to and it's not because the boy looks bad (he doesn't!), it's just that, it feels like incest. I think, even if he's not Tita's step son, he's a family friend so parang family na. Incest parin yun. 

I wasn't offended or anything. I just find it weird how people seem to want to "treat" singleness like it's a disease or something. Sometimes I wish I can feel their urgency too though. Because if so, then maybe I would at least exert an effort to improve my love life.

On a date with bff the Monday that followed my birthday, she told me something about being in a relationship. She said na before daw, nung single pa sya, she thought that being in a relationship is so much of a big deal. Pero ngayong my bf sya, she realized na hindi naman daw pala. Na ang pinagkaiba lang ng single sa in a relationship e yung may ready lang kasama if gusto mo pumunta somewhere or may ready kang kausap if gusto mo ng kausap. Natuwa lang ako sa humility at sincerity nya. Well, she is my bff for a reason.

Sa tingin ko, simple lang naman if gusto mo magka jowa. Magpa cute ka sa type mo hanggang sa magustuhan ka nya. If hindi effective, e di yung dude na may gusto sayo na hindi mo type, patulan mo na. Simple lang naman di ba? Ang hindi lang magets nung mga tao na wala sa sitwasyon mo e yung angle na, "wait, kailangan ko ba talaga?"

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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:35 AM.

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all for Daisy
Tuesday: September 26, 2017

I remember our former J-quality manager, Meguri, loved Leonardo diCaprio. He used to rant about how he cannot believe why Leo was yet to get an award from Oscars. I wonder how he felt when Leonardo finally got one. I love that dude too since Inception, so today I decided to watch one of his movies. Chose The Great Gatsby. Ngayon ko lang naintindihin bakit Gatsby at Daisy ang pangalan ng 2 pomeranians ni Meguri.

Hindi naman 5 stars pero super affected ako sa movie na to. Now, it's taking so much of me to fight the urge to storm the bookstore later and find the book version. Please, please... wala pang sahod, Z... T_T

Sheeeeeet. Nakakalungkot.


Yesterday was the Huntsman. Because Chris Hemsworth.

Watched him in Ghostbusters last Sunday, and shoooot, ang gwapo nya please! *drools*


Oh, I just realized TGG was my 10th movie since I started watching at least 1 movie per day.

I don't know what I'm trying to get out of this. I don't watch a lot....


Wait... I think... Actually, I know.


So what to watch next?

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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:00 PM.

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9th and how it all started
Tuesday: August 15, 2017

Was searching for an entry on how i first attended a tm meeting. found this on a september 2015 entry:


it was a happy weekend.

saturday, yang and i went to a toastmasters chapter in QC. extreme nosebleed moment, man. people in there use the english language as naturally as breathing. ang gagaling nila! my normal self would've felt intimidated, but during those times, i didnt feel that way. i was more like... challenged. see, i've seen sha nacino's plaque for winning a toastmasters contest before and since then, i want the same plaque for myself. i dont know how could that be possible.. but yeah.

from what i understand, there would be an inter-division contest where a girl named janelle will be joining as representative for their division. she looked smart. i wonder if she's going to win the contest. i have no idea how good people from the other divisions are. i dont even know what division sha is from. there's also another girl in there who seem to be joining a contest for evaluators. i didnt know they do contests for evaluators too. she' great too, with matching animated face, actions and all.

the people we sat with on the same table was a married couple who just recently joined the club. i find it so nice watching them doing something like this together. i think for most cases, after getting married, the lives of a married couple will be all about raising a family, sending the kids to school, etc etc--but will never be about theirselves as an individual or their personal growth... it made me think that maybe, marriage doesnt always mean having to live a life less than the life you had as a single person. maybe you can continue learning. maybe you can continue taking care of yourself. maybe you can continue to be an awesome human being just as how you were as a single person. or even better, maybe you can get to do it all together with your partner. i guess it all relies on picking the right partner... maybe.

aside from that couple, there was another couple there who are much older. indeed, one can never be too old to learn new things and extend youself to your full potential. this said couple were 2 among the 5 who gave their prepared speeches. And despite the age, they were awesome!! i love their stories and i love how they delivered it. nakaka amaze. nakaka.. awe... nakaka... basta.

if it wasnt for the whopping 3200 membership fee, i wouldve join right away. funny, 3200 use to be nothing back in the day, but now i consider it as a whopping amount. hindi naman ako magastos. in fact, the last time i updated my wardrobe was  more than a year ago. And kung uso pa ang piko ngayon, sa sobrang obsolete at lowtech ng phone na gamit ko, pwede mo nang gawing pamato. i dont know why money has the habit of extinguishing itself before my eyes recently. i wasnt even able to take advantage of the recent stockmarket bloodbath. sighs..

siguro tama si yang, ang dami dami kasi naming gustong gawin. laser focus daw ang isa sa mga secret ng successful people-- and that's the very thing i dont have at the moment.

yang and i were thinking of club hopping first tas saka na muna magpa member, kasi nga, mahal. we we're so amazed by their guest general evaluator named jesse. we heard he's from a chapter in cubao. we're thinking of sitting in for that chapter too (to hunt jesse. but he's probably married, #zannen..haha).. mejo inconvenient nga lang yung sched and merong "Membership eligibility criteria required" daw. so im not so sure if we are eligible to sit in. we'll see.


fast-forward today, ang dami nang nagbago. ang dami palang pwedeng magbago in a short span of time. i wonder how things would be like if i didnt join elite, if i ended up in another club instead. hindi ko maimagine.

i honestly think that our club is the best. pero syempre, bias ako. i also checked the profile of tm's from another club that i recently added in fb. i have this weird feeling na they probably feel the same about their own club. ganun ata talaga.

TM meeting this fri. im supposed to deliver my bsp9. im still halfway through its completion. halfway palang. anong petsa na? it's gonna be a filipino themed meeting. taglish speech ko. i told mentor i wont be sending him my draft kasi baka uminit lang ulo nya sa wrong grammar ko.

tagalog naman kami magsalita sa bahay. kaso kasi, jeje levels talaga yung tagalog ko so mejo kinakabahan ako this meeting. etong lokong andre pang to was proposing na mag multa daw para sa mga mag-eenglish. ayawan na. mag sa sign language nalang ako.

in character na ang mga kasama kong tm sa aming group chat. ang lalim ng tagalog nila, literal na nakahilo. mukhang mano nosebleed ako sa meeting. magdadala ko ng tissue.

shucks... wala pa pala kong speech. huhu.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:27 PM.

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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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my name is z




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