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Entries in category "火曜日"



火曜日, October 26, 2021

Ways ways

Kaya mo bang ispend ang isang buong araw na hindi nagrereklamo.

Kaya ko to back in the day. Petiks naman kasi ang work ko noon. Pero ngayon, bwisit na bwisit ako sa ilan sa mga kasama ko sa work.

May admin issue daw kaya pag may ticket na need ng admin, papasa samin? Wow!

I had an admin issue before and it got fixed in less that 48 hours. Kahit wala pa akong admin, nakagawa naman ako ng paraan. Yung isang kasama ko na may admin issue, tinulungan pa nung isa kong kasama to get it fixed. Mali mali kasi ung request na sinasubmit kaya di naayos. Yung TL at SME namin, hinahayaan lang na yung agents e may admin issues. Ano kaya yun?

Ang toxic ko na siguro sa paningin nila dahil panay ang reklamo ko. Minsan naiisip ko rin na baka ako na pala yung mali.

kainis pa, pag check ko nung KB sa ticket, di naman need ng admin. Sya mismo nag attach nung KB. Nasabi ko tuloy kay TL na parang para paraan nalang lagi nyang ginagawang excuse na wala syang admin. TL is still neutral about it.

Ako ba yung mali? Posible. Naiirita talaga ko. Alam ko, there are bosses and officemates out there who are so much worse. Hindi naman ako galit sa kanila. Ayoko lang talagang i-tolerate.

Surprisingly, I feel a whole lot calmer after writing this. Salamat, Tabulas.

Ang hirap kumalma these days.

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Nalock ako sa loob ng banyo the last time. Sira yung knob. Hindi kumagat yung susi kaya sinira nalang ng tatay ko yung pinto ng banyo para makalabas ako.

Mom is pressing me about marriage lately. Sabi nya, pano daw ako pag wala na sila. Naalala ko tuloy nung nalock ako sa banyo. Kung mag-isa siguro ako sa buhay, anong gagawin ko para makalabas? Naisip ko e baka baliin ko yung shower at ipukpok ko sa pinto, to get rid of the knob. Naisip ko rin na siguro, mas mainam na pag nagpagawa ako ng bahay, wala nalang knob yung banyo.

Marriage. Ewan ko. Masaya ba talaga ang mga may asawa? Siguro hindi naman ganito lahat ng husbands, pero pag naiisip ko na sisigaw sigawan lang ako ng asawa ko, parang mas gusto ko nalang mag-isa kahit pa makulong ako sa banyo at walang tumulong sakin.

36 na pala ako. When my birthday came, I was thinking the whole time na 37 na ko. The days went by with me believing na 37 na nga ako, until bff sent me a belated happy birthday message with my correct age in it. Lol. Kung hindi nya ko binati, hanggang ngayon siguro, naniniwala parin akonna 37 na ko.

36... ano na? Anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko?



Written by cinderellaareus at 10:35 AM.

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火曜日, October 12, 2021

mga bagay na gusto kong kainin kapag hindi na ko inuubo

Kanina ang dami kong naiisip, pero ngayon, gusto ko lang ng Fibisco Peanut Crunch. T_T



Written by cinderellaareus at 02:38 PM.

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火曜日, October 12, 2021

Maring

Ang lakas ng ulan. Nakakatamad magtrabaho. Ang sarap umupo sa sofa at magmuni muni. Pero pag wala akong pasok at umuulan, hindi naman ako umuupo sa sofa para magmunimuni.

Kagabi, I was reading Earthclinic's archive from Ted. I realized how there were people who spent their lives being sick. Having been sick for a while myself, narealize ko na yung mga simpleng bagay pala— kahit yung ability mo lang to smell, breathe without discomfort, or even our appetite—sobrang laking blessings na pala. At kahit yung mga boring days na madalas nating ireklamo, isang malaking biyaya rin.

I'm truly grateful. Marami pong salamat, Universe.

My greatest fear is losing my family. Maybe next to that is not having enough money to give my family and myself a good life. Siguro hanggat okay ako sa mga area na to, there will always be something to be very grateful for.

Salamat talaga, Universe.

After today, 1 more work day at off ko na. I'd probably spend tbe day playing Battle Realm and Harvest Town, then maybe at night, watch Bleach. Okay lang kahit di remarkable. Basta sana, kasama ko pa rin ang mga taong mahalaga sa akin, pati mga pusa ko.

Balang araw, yayaman ako enough na hindi ko na kailangang pilitin ang sarili kong magtrabaho. I'd give my parents an even better life than this. I will bring them to beautiful places, make them eat great food. I wish that the Heavens will let us live longer pa to experience all these.



Written by cinderellaareus at 10:46 AM.

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火曜日, October 5, 2021

Fire

Ang ganda ng ulan kanina. Nakakatamad tuloy pumasok.

Ang weird ng feeling ko lately. Parang lagi kong gustong maghamon ng away. Fighting it is quite a struggle. Pag nagchachat ako, I'll pause muna bago ko isend. Naiirita ako sa ibang mga kasama ko sa work. I don't hate them though. I'm just annoyed. 

Hormones ba to? I want to be a bright and happy human, at hindi yung ganitong mainit lagi yung ulo.

A friend said she's seeking professional help para sa mental health nya. I've long been wanting to see a psychiatrist. Kaso di ata covered ng health card, balita ko mahal daw, at tinatamad din talaga ko.

A friend ask, "anong wish mo?", I answered 3 million pesos.

Pangpagawa ng sarili kong bahay. 

Pero kung sakaling you'll be granted 1 wish, yung tipong sure na matutupad pag winish mo, what will your wish be?

I'm no sure if I like my answer.

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Putting off watching Boruto's latest episode. Tokwa, na deds na ata si Kurama. Huhu. Masyadong mapanakit yung nagsulat neto. T_T



Written by cinderellaareus at 12:39 PM.

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火曜日, September 21, 2021

Loss

I learned that a former colleague attempted suicide.

I remember she was a sweet bubbly girl. Pretty smart. Suma Cumlaude in UP. She got accelerated twice when she was a kid, kaya bata pa grumadweyt. Bata pa. 

She lost her mom March this year. Sabi nya best friend nya daw ang mom nya. Mukhang depressed pa rin until now.

Sa perspective ng taong tulad ko na walang kinalaman sa nangyayari, naisip ko na sayang sya, matalino sya, bata pa, at may bright future pang naghihintay sa kanya...

Pero kung iisipin... 

Pag nawala na yung reason mo to keep on living... ano pang point no? Pano mo maiisip na bright ang future kung wala na dun yung taong gusto mong kasama sa future na pinangarap mo?

Iniisip ko kung tatawagan ko ba si former officemate. Anong sasabihin ko. Kung ako kasi ang nasa kalagayan nya, baka maisip ko rin na best option ko e sumama na sa mama ko. 

Anong words of comfort ba ang pwedeng i-offer to someone who's falling apart? Siguradong masakit e. Siguradong mahirap. Madali lang sabihing "wag sumuko", but how about the pain that the sufferer has to live with everyday? Parang sinasaksak sa dibdib mo araw araw, pero "sige, go lang, kaya mo yan. Don't give up."

Tsk. Bullshit.

Hindi ko talaga alam sasabihin ko e. 

*isang munting prayer na sana malampasan no rin yan, Former Officemate. And, kung totoo ang Diyos, sana tulungan ka nyang bitbitin ang sakit ng loss na nararamdaman mo. Isang mahigpit na yakap.*



Written by cinderellaareus at 01:15 PM.

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火曜日, August 24, 2021


Cat is sick simula kahapon pa. Twing pinaplano ko talaga na ipakapon sila, bigla nalang silang nagkakasakit. I'll just buy a cage. I plan to put the cage inside their room and only put them there when they're in heat. Let's see if this will kind of work out. Bahala na.

I'm a little relieved though. Hindi ko na kailangang maglinis ng sugat ng pusa ko. I'm not really fond of blood, you know.

Sighs. Okay, what's next?

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VL ako bukas. Still sending my cat to vet kahit di na tuloy ang kapon. The vet clinic here is about 15 minutes walk. I sometimes ride a jeep to get there. Pero mula sa kanto hanggang sa bahay, kailangan talaga maglakad. Masyado kasi maingay if mag ta tricycle, maiistress yung cat. I feel like my life will be so much easier if we have a car. Pero kasi... I don't think I can ever drive, even if I try to learn how.

Nung bata pa ako, sobrang takot ako sa multo. Ngayong adult na ko, hindi na nga ako takot sa multo, pero mas dumami naman ang mga kinatatakutan ko. 

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180+ eps in Boruto. Exciting na ng mga eps. I love Mitsuki. He's so adorable. I feel like I can handle any death in Boruto, so long as it's not Mitsuki. Well, Naruto is given.

Kainis yung mga memes na nababasa ko. I'm trying my hardest not to spoil the next eps. Is Kashin Koji, Jiraiya? Jiraiya, my beloved ero sennin. Did he somehow survive? Tokwa, tokwa, tokwa.

I. MUST. NOT. GOOGLE. THE. ANSWERS.



Written by cinderellaareus at 12:54 PM.

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火曜日, June 23, 2021

Me no itami

Off work to rest my eyes. Feeling ko scammer yung doc. Sa mahal nung gamot, yet my eyes aren't feeling any better.

Few minutes after opening the tv, sumakit agad yung mata ko, so I spent the afternoon sleeping. My eyes hurt as I write this. It hasn't been 5 minutes since I started.

Dahil natulog ako ng tanghali, ang hirap matulog now.

Ang aga ng pasok ko. Ansakit pa ng mata ko. Good luck talaga sa work bukas. 



Written by cinderellaareus at 12:33 AM.

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火曜日, June 8, 2021

Blessed?

Said my pc replacement will get to be delivered by the weekends pa. That's a full week without work, but with pay. As much as I'm grateful, I still feel uneasy about it. I feel like I was given a gift I didn't deserve. Bukod don, nahihiya rin ako sa mga kasama ko sa work.

And the oddest part is that I still wish to be free from my job when I'm not even working. Ano bang problema ko?

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I was supposed to attend a webminar on forex with Mel today. Skipped it and decided to finish watching Encounter instead. Just a few days ago, I felt like I've already set the motion towards the most realistic thing I should work on. What's with this 180 degrees turn? Tae.

I re-watched the 1st episode of Encounter after finishing the final episode. I wanted to see the long-haired Park Bo Gum again, and I also loved the setting (Cuba). Ang ganda rin ng music na pinakinggan nila while watching the sunset. Kahit hindi naman talaga ako mahilig sa music, nagustuhan ko.

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I bought 2 cans of beers today. Foreign brands. Something that reminds me of the pre-covid luxuries I used to experience. I miss dim lights, fancy tablewares and table tops, soft music, smell of overpriced coffee, etc. Parang ngayon ko lang naramdaman to simula ng pandemic.

Gusto ko na bago matapos ang lahat ng ito ay malaya na ko.

Alam ko. Wala naman talaga ako sa posisyon para magreklamo. This job is giving me so much more than I will dare to ask. So much more than I actually deserve. Even the past jobs that I had weren't bad either. I used to think that maybe it was because of money. But I do have money now, yet still feels the same.

Then, naisip ko rin na baka dahil lang sa mapapagod ako sa byehe papasok sa trabahaho. Pero hindi na ko nagko commute, pero ganito parin yung feeling. At kahit ngayong isang linggo akong hindi magtatrabaho, andito parin yung feeling na yun.

Anong bang tawag sa feeling na to? The closest that I can think of is the word "trapped". But I feel like it's an unfair label to give to something that's been serving as a huge blessing. I'm sorry, Universe.

I'm turning 36 this year. Hindi ko parin alam kung anong gagawin ko. Hindi ko rin sure kung ano bang gusto kong mangyari. Basta ang alam ko lang, hindi ko gusto to. Lahat ng ginagawa for over a decade, hindi ko gusto. Tokwa... ano bang gusto ko?



Written by cinderellaareus at 11:09 PM.

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火曜日, June 1, 2021

Ohayowww

6時の勤務は開始した。

Tahimik. Yehey.

So kahapon, kinausap na ako ng boss. The boss is 意外と話しやすい. I didn't get the terms I want. Hudas was as epal as usual. Still I did my best para hindi matapos ang meeting na wala akong napapala. In the end, the boss ordered na tanggalan kami ng PDT skill until we finished the training. Lel. Boss ordered Hudas na siguraduhing matapos to within the week. E 3 sa group namin off ng Thursday and Friday, myself included. Bleh, ayan, dami mo extra work now.

Tinabla ko rin yung sabi nya na ako nalang daw mag relay ng info sa iba. Aba, trabaho nyo yan no. The boss listened. Extra work ulet for Hudas. Haha.

Sa totoo lang, di pala masaya maging difficult employee, or person in general, kagaya ni Robert no?

I also feel like the tiny benefit that I can get from being difficult is not that worth it compared to the peace that I have to sacrifice in order to get it. My peace worth so much more than this.

Kaya, oh sya. Ang mahalaga, wala kaming pdt calls hanggang walang maayos na training at access. I still hate Hudas. Gusto ko syang tirisin. But I guess, I'll just let this go.

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Ang hirap matulog kagabi. Nanood din kasi ako ng Saiki. Natapos ko na ang season 2. Nalungkot ako to find out na 2 eps lang ang season 3. At least meron pa nung Saiki Reawaken ata yun. I think that's about 7 eps din. 

Feeling ko, kakanood ko ng anime, mejo nag improve ang Japanese language skills ko. I'm an auditory learner afterall. But the downside is that, my English skills seem to be getting worse.

Sabi nila, to be good in one language, you have to think in that language at least for 30 minutes daily. Ang hirap pala. I realize that most of the time, I don't use any language at all whenever I think. E for effort talaga to. Ewan ko kung nagwowork ba. Ang alam ko lang, ang pangit ng English ko sa meeting ko with the boss kahapon. The boss is an Indian. No choice. English only talaga. I'd like to think that I can speak in English so much better than this. Tokwa. Nakakahiya.

We have more Japanese calls now kesa English. I still suck in Japanese, and my English is getting worse. Alam mo yung multilingual ka, but you suck in all 3 languages. Juice colored. 

If I will watch an English series or movies for some time, I'm pretty sure my skill will improve a great deal. Pero after a while, tokwa, makakalimutan ko na naman.

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40 minutes na kong avail. Ano bang gagawin ko sa buhay ko? Makapag review na nga lang ng KB ng PDT. Tokwa.



Written by cinderellaareus at 06:43 AM.

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