Entries in category "Tuesday"


Tuesday, October 9, 2018


Just got back from a 3-day long weekend, tas nagkasakit pa ko. Takte. Wanna go home. Huhu.

So how are things going? At times I feel like there's a lot going on, but not really. I'll be going to watch an opera for the first time this Friday and I need to hunt for a dress/gown. Couldn't take a leave because Partner already filed his so haggardan ito. After work I need to fly to the venue nang naka gown. Thank you very much. Sa totoo lang, I'd rather stay home.

In about a month now, the cage will transfer to another site since they'll give up the current building na. They will provide me advance and deposit for a place to stay near the new office for about 3 months. I'm already feeling homesick, but I'm not so sure if kaya ng katawang lupa ko magcommute. It's not really that far from the current site, but the traffic jam in that area is known to be epic. Partner will not be going with us so we need to hunt for a new native speaker. Sana maging maayos ang lahat.

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BFF is busy with the wedding prep. I will be the MOH. This is the 2nd time I'll be a MOH. The 1st was during my brother's wedding. Said the wedding will be an intimate one lang daw. Closest friends and relatives lang ang invited, yet for some reason, BFF invited my entire family.

Mom and Dad will the one of the ninongs and ninangs. The wedding will be in Batangas and BFF will give me and my family 2 days accomodation dun sa venue. I've always seen BFF as a sister. To me, she's family. Nakakatuwa lang na her love for me is extended even to my family.
 
 
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From someone who can't stop checking, now I can't bring myself to even look. Nakaka amuse ang evolution ng heartbreak na to.

Hindi pa naman talaga ok.

The last time I was watching a K-dram entitled 'Go back couple'. Tungkol sa mag-asawa na nag file ng divorce and they both wished na sana hindi nalang nila nakilala ang isa't isa. Then by some miracle, nag timetravel sila parehas sa nakaraan nila at nung nagkakilala sila when they were 20 yo. It was such a cute drama. Kahit patapos na ko sa sumunod na dramang pinapanood ko, naiisip isip ko parin to.

Ano kaya ang gagawin ko kung sakaling mag time travel ako sa past? What will I do differently? Marami akong naisip gawin. Mga bagay na gusto ko itama. Na surprise lang ako na willing pala akong hindi ka nalang makilala at all.

Putek. I feel like my heart is a whole lot sicker than my immune system.


Written by cinderellaareus at 11:41 AM.

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Tuesday, September 4, 2018

EP

Sabi sa nabasa ko, scientifically, emotional pain daw can only last for 10 minutes. Anything longer than that is self-inflicted. 

I was starting to feel ok until I once again checked his IG. Why the heck did I delete my own account if I'll keep on visiting his in the first place? Nade-detox din ba ang puso? Putakte.

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Things are pretty bad in other things as well. The cage will no longer keep the current building. Said we will be transferring to Pasig before the year ends. I need to explore my other options fast.

Gusto kong maniwala na pag shine-shake ng Diyos ang mundo mo, diladala ka lang Nya somewhere better. Still, I wish he'd just give be better options instead. When I got myself here, I said I'd just stay for a year. Tapos, poof! 5 years na. Oh, Lord...


Written by cinderellaareus at 03:23 PM.

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Tuesday, August 21, 2018


I saw the neighbor's dog, Kilay's dad, at a sarisari store across our house, so I greeted him, "Hello Pogi!"

To my horror, a man nearby, standing next to his motorcycle winked.

Mej creepy. Huhu. : (

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F: Anong age mo balak mag-asawa, R?

R: Siguro mga 30s.

F: 30s daw, Z?

Z: di na tayo magkakaanak non, R

R: edi live in

Z: ano ka, siniswerte

*** I wonder if the girl now will say yes to that. But then he's more than capable of getting married now though.

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Holiday Tuesday at work. My workweek just started and I already want to go back home.


Written by cinderellaareus at 07:27 AM.

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Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Please don't panic, please don't panic

I asked the Heavens for the rain to stop. Mejo maulan pa pero nakapasok na ko. Putek, ano ba pinaggagawa ko kahapon?

Nakita ko announcement sa FB na ready na daw ang club namin for the Filipino Speech Contest. I remember I'm supposed to back up our initially agreed contestant after he begged off. And boy, I'm so far from ready. Pak, ano ngang pinaggagagawa ko kahapon?

I was home. I think I just spent the day sleeping, eating, repotting my plants, reading posts and articles in facebook about plants and so on. Hindi man lang ako nag attempt gumawa ng speech. Juicecolored!

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I rewatched Jane's reading for August. For some reason, it no longer resonate as much as it did the first time. 

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko forte ang magmultitask. Kaya pag marami akong nararamdaman, nadidisorient ako. Sa tingin ko, wala namang hurt. Fear lang. Regret. Sadness. Mga ganun. Naisip ko rin na if mabibigyan ako ng power to snatch the boy back, hindi ko rin naman gagawin. In the end of the day, I also want him to be happy.

Napansin ko lang rin na inuulit ulit ko lang yung mga situation ko sa buhay. I want to focus on making sure that this won't happen again especially because my recent situation is starting to look like it's heading to that same direction. 

Fear. Regret. Sadness. Ihalo mo pa yung panic na nafifeel ko about the contest. Pero siguro, katulad ng ulan, huhupa rin naman to.

Tag-ulan man ngayon, the sun will soon rise up. And when that time comes, siguro may bulaklak na yung mga alaga kong jade at cactus. Magiging okay din ang lahat.


Written by cinderellaareus at 08:50 AM.

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Tuesday, July 24, 2018

The Empress

"You're name means Empress. Queen."

I barely remember my prof in Humanities2 saying this line in front of the class everytime she mentioned my name.

Queen.

I also remember how he claimed that his name means "King", making us King and Queen.

King and Queen.

This is a closed book now though. I'm more than okay.

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It's been a while since Jane gave a reading that resonates as much as this one. Seems like my fav tarot reader is back. All hearts.


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:00 AM.

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Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Stuff and stuff and stuff

951pm. For the past 2 nights, I've been lacking sleep. It's langgam season once again, and every effing night, I have to ward them off.

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After so much deliberation, I've decided na sa bahay na ko uuwi sa Friday at luluwas nalang ng maaga for the COT as I was tasked to do the registration. Then, when asked, "sleepover ka samen, Zah?" My fingers typed, "sigi". Grabe, wala talaga akong paninindigan. 

Two years na kaming magkakilala. Mukhang sanay naman na sila sa kaartehan ko. Still, I don't want to cause them any trouble. Ang hirap lang rin kasi talaga kung manggagaling pa kong Bulacan, and wala rin naman talaga akong pang hotel on my own at the moment. I'm not really thrilled about sleeping in a bed other than my room's.  Still, I will do my best not to hassle anyone.

The weekend's going to be long. Div A party by the evening after COT. Formal event. I intend dress down a bit. Gusto ko nga sana mag rubber shoes. Will be doing the registration also. My kerengkeng side would be excited about this since this could be a venue to meet new people, but right now, I just feel too lazy.

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Was chatting with someone fr another club earlier. The dude was asking what will be my position in our club for the next term. I told him, none.

Friday last week, I joined Jer's execom for the new set of officers. Gabby and Ivan even booked a hotel for this. I'm no longer an officer, but it's yet to feel like so. Ok lang, masaya naman.

Bea brought her tarot cards and gave us a reading. Mine was quite on point. 1st card meant deception daw. Bea said that the other person's sincere and that the deception's on me. Gusto ko lang daw yung other person because we share common values and for his character also. She said I'm staying for the wrong reasons.

Second card shows a picture of a woman paddling away on her boat. Bea said the cards suggest for me to let go. Leave. So that I can get to the third card which is about finding love. I will only find love daw if I leave. There was a 4th card pa pero tinatamad na ko mag explain. It has something to do with keeping my path clear.

Idk. Totoo kayang I will only find love if I will walk away? The rebel in me wants to cling on all the more. Lol. I wonder if these will even matter.

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Last weekend, I watched Spider-Man: the homecoming and Thor Ragnarok. I realized Tom Holland(Spidey) is rather adorable pala and Tom Hiddleson(Loki) could fit to be the god of hotness instead of mischief. Tas kanina, I was watching Capt America: Winter Soldier. Chris Evans is Chris Evans. Masyadong gwapo napapa buntong hininga ako pag ngumingiti tong taong to. Jeez, may panget ba sa Marvel?

Ang saya siguro kung makakapag asawa ako ng lalaking papasang maging Marvel superhero. Para mangyari yon, kailangan ko bang maging kamukha ni Elizabeth Olsen?

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Teka, inaantok na ko.


Written by cinderellaareus at 10:48 PM.

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Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Sigh

I miss you and I don't know what to do about it. 

 


Written by cinderellaareus at 11:44 PM.

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Tuesday, May 8, 2018

BZ

Spell T.I.R.E.D.

Been working on my biz lately and there's a lot of things to do. One of my mentees, Toni, sent her speech draft and I'm yet to work on that one. I'm barely answering PM's from messenger. In a way, I'm liking this kind of busy. I just hope I don't feel this tired.

I haven't been eating and sleeping much lately. Must be the source of that walang gana feeling.

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If there's one thing I'd like to learn para masabi kong nag mature na ko bilang tao at bilang babae, siguro yun e yung hindi na lilipad yung kilay ko twing may ibang babae susulpot na baka bigla mong magustuhan... because come to think of it, wala rin naman akong magagawa.

What's meant for me will not miss me.

Naalala ko rin yung law of least effort. Maybe sometimes, we need to be at peace and just allow things to fall into place.

I'm letting go.


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:25 PM.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Kyoukai no otoko

Araw araw ko syang nakikita sa simbahan.

Naririnig ko kasi yung kaluskos pag lumuluhod sya sa pew sa likuran ko.

Bukod sa fact na mejo gwapo sya at matangkad, napansin ko sya kasi paulit ulit ang ritwal na ginagawa nya araw araw.

Pagpasok nya, luluhod sya sa parehas na pwesto araw araw. Yung pangalawang pew mula sa harap. Magdadasal ng ilang minuto, tapos tatayo palabas. Hihinto sya saglit sa may labasan para magsindi ng kandila. Apat na kandila na pinagdidikitdikit nya sa iisang tirikan. Tapos magdadasal ulet. Ginagawa nya to approximately same time araw araw. Iniisip ko tuloy kung dito rin sya banda nagtatrabaho.

Ano kayang pinagdadaanan ni kuya at bakit sya araw araw nagsisimba? Para mag effort syang pumunta don araw araw, siguro may mabigat syang dinadala. Kung ano man ang pinagdarasalal nya, siguradong importante yun sa kanya. Naku-curious ako kung ano-ano bang mga bagay ang pinagdarasal ng isang lalaki sa Diyos. Finances kaya? Work? Business?

Gwapo si kuya, so hindi naman siguro love life...

Kaninang umaga, mejo nalate ako ng punta sa simbahan. Pagdating ko, nakapagtirik na ng kandila si kuya at nagdadasal na ulet. Pumasok ako at umupo sa parehas na pwestong inuupuan ko araw araw. Yung pinakaunang pew mula sa harap. Nagdasal ng ilang minuto, tapos tumayo palabas. Huminto ako saglit sa may labasan para magsindi ng kandila. Apat na kandilang pinagdikitdikit ko sa iisang tirikan. Narealized ko na parehas na parehas pala kami ng ginagawa ni kuya. Parehas kaya kami ng ipinagdarasal?

Pagdaan ko sa tirikan ng kandila kanina, sinindihan ko yung apat na kandilang naiwan ni kuya na wala nang sindi. Sinindihan ko na rin pati yung mga kandilang nasa tabi nito. Kung ano man ang pinagdadaanan ni kuya, kung ano man ang ipinagdarasal nya... Kung mabuti yun para sa kanya at sa mga taong nasa paligid nya... Sana makuha nya.


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:50 PM.

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