Entries in category "火曜日"



Clown
火曜日: March 31, 2020



I've been reading Deepak Chopra's 7 Spiritual Laws of Success. These laws have been helping me lot and I feel like it is because of these laws that I'm having a lot of good stuff. 

The laws speak of detachment. 

The laws speak of non-judgment. 

Ang hirap hirap i-practice ng mga bagay na ito these days.

Nakakagalit maging parte ng bansa na pinamumunuan ng isang payasong humingi ng emergency power para magpapicture kasama ng pritong isda.

Tapos sasabihin nyang maswerte ang mga tao (doctors/frontliners) na namatay para sa bayan?

These lives were wasted dahil sa kakulangan mo, g*go.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:50 PM.

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Kababawan 101
火曜日: March 17, 2020



1:46PM. Hindi pa ako natutulog. Ang daming kaganapang negative pero wala ako sa mood na ikwento yun. I'm all feeling sunshiney right now kahit medyo heavy na ang head ko from lack of sleep.

Ampogi nung crush ko.

Sa sobrang tagal ko nang walang kaharutan, minsan kinakabahan ako pag nagagandahan ako sa babae. Baka kasi na convert na ko ng di ko namamalayan. Pero dahil sa crush kong to, sigurado akong babae talaga ko. Lol.

Ayoko sa lalaking masungit. Kaya nga di ko crush to dati e. Pero bumabait na sya lately. At lalong nag-iba yung tingin ko sa kanya dahil sa pinakita nya kagabi.

5PM sya pumasok. He was working fervently to fix the PCs we were supposed to bring home para makapag work-from-home kami. 3AM na, hindi pa pala sya kumakain.

Last night, most of us went to the office only to pick up our pc. Hindi naman talaga kami dapat papasok. But the manager said we should login to recieve calls para paid ang pagpunta namin sa office. It was then that D spoke and defended us to the manager. Promise, ang laki ng kina pogi nya nung mga panahon na yun kahit dati na syang pogi.

I've always seen D as someone hardworking. Kala ko sadyang workaholic lang sya. Mataas din ang standards nya sa trabaho. He expects this same standard to the people he works with. It never occurred to me that he'd care though. Suplado nga kasi yun.

Ayoko talaga sa lalaking masungit, but leadership is a quality in a man that I can't possibly ignore. And D has that. He excels on that. On top pa yan sa skills nya sa trabaho. Ang sakto naman sa taste ko nitong taong to!

Maybe that's why he's not single. Kasi, takte, makakaligtas ba sa babae yung ganyang klaseng lalaki?

D doesn't have a single post about his wife in FB. He doesn't really post so much, but he did post some pictures of his son. I wonder how his wife looks like. But regardless, takte, ang swerte siguro ng asawa neto, no? Kung naging jowa ko siguro to, baka ang dami ko nang nasabunutang babae. Hahaha.

------

Pinagdadasal ko, kasabay ng pagdadasal ko sa safety ko at ng family ko, na sana hindi tamaan ng coronavirus ang future husband ko. Sana rin may qualities sya na gaya ng kay D.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:21 PM.

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1238
火曜日: February 25, 2020



I'm just a little bothered. Nothing serious naman.

A friend announced to our ladies' GC her happiness about her club being able to open a bank account under their club's name. Said the maintaining balance is 50k and all of these, they got from their club fund and a kidney daw. I immediately thought the 'kidney' part was a joke.

We congratulated the friend. But the math-loving kiddo in me felt restless. I got a calculator and started computing. Theirs is a relatively new club and an even smaller one. Even with the size of my own club, I knew it's impossible to have a 50k fund. So I asked, "seryoso yung kidney?"

The friend didn't confirm but said something like, "kailangan kasi e." I think this is outrageous and utterly impractical. Things felt off because that friend doesn't seem to be someone who do impractical things. I still can't rest. But if the friend is happy... go nalang siguro. It was then that she said, "hindi pa pala kumpleto 50k, need pa namin ng isang kidney."

Then followed... "baka gusto nyo mag donate ng pusong hindi nagagamit." Lol. I felt attacked.

I love my girls, you know. I still think that they should've used the money for something else though. The bank account, after all, doesn't have any other purpose other than to recieve money, which they'll be sending to the international website soon enough anyway. Hindi ko ma gets. Pero hayaan na natin.

------

Few days and I'll be back to work. Parang ang dami nang nagbago sa setup sa trabaho. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako magsu-survive. Lalo na pag nalipat nako sa panggabi. Hayst... help, please, Universe.

Aalis na yung TL namin soon. Mabait din naman yung papalit. Siguro magiging okay naman. Pero nakakalungkot pa rin. From what I know, open pa ang QA. Sana mapunta kay PK. Wala lang. Para masaya. Naalala ko lang yung interview ko nung nag aapply pa ko rito.

TL: matagal ka sa dati mong company, what made you stay?

Z: the people are nice.

TL: mabait din ang mga tao rito. Magugustuhan mo rito.

Tapos ngayon, aalis sya. Ano kaya yun?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:40 PM.

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Otwh
火曜日: January 21, 2020



A month before my trip, nagsubmit na ko ng leave request kay TL. Ewan ko kung nakukulitan na ba sya sakin. Shift bid kami ngayon, meaning, kung sino ang mas mataas na score, sya ang may karapatang mamili ng shift. 

Partial result for the 1st 17 days of the month just came this week. I'm ranked 6th. 8 lang kami. Syempre naka panic mode na ko dahil dito dahil: 1) ayoko na bumalik sa night shift, 2) I need the best shift possible para konti lang ang makuha sa leave ko for the Taiwan trip, 3 ) Well, mejo nagising rin ang competitive side ko. Syempre ayokong matalo. But more than anything else, ayoko na talagang bumalik sa night shift.

Had a coaching sesh with TL earlier. Inexplain nya kung paano kino compute yung scores. Iniisip ko kung nakukulitan na ba sakin to.

Hayst. Ang hirap mag leave. Ang hirap, Universe. And this is just the 1st streak. I have more in the following months. 

------

Ang alam ko, I've unfollowed the guy a long time ago na. Ewan ko kung bakit lumabas sa news feed ko yung post na tinag sa kanya ng wife nya. Nanganak na pala yung asawa nya. Baby girl. Kamukha nya. Hindi naman na masakit. Pero syempre may part sakin na nagwo wonder, "kung kami ang nagkatuluyan, ano kaya hitsura ng anak namin?"

It helps na may iba akong nagugutuhan ngayon.

Pero negs din. Wala naman syang gusto sakin. Hahaha. Pero ok lang. Mejo boss ko kasi yun so magiging complicated lang pag na reciprocate. Tamang pang paalis lang ng boredom lalo na't naiistress na ko sa kaganapan sa iba't ibang aspects ng buhay ko. 

Minsan naiisip ko na "hindi kaya panahon na para bumuo ako ng pamilya?" But building a family requires another person. And that other person is out of my control. I have decided to let go of everything that I couldn't control.

Tingin ko, magpapayaman nalang ako.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:18 PM.

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Monoblock Chair
火曜日: January 9, 2020



Bo Sanchez often tells the story on how he met his wife. Sabi nya, he used to see her daw, not as a woman, but as a monoblock chair. Gaya ng tingin nya sa mga furniture. Dinadaan daanan nya lang. Masyado daw kasi syang busy nun.

A friend and I was chatting a few days back. The friend had just gotten married February last year and is now pregnant. As usual, she's still pressuring me about my relationship status.

Know what, I've thought about it for long and I think it's about time to give it a rest. Ayoko nang pilitin ang sarili ko sa awkward dates, chats, whatevs. Ok naman ako as is. Bakit kailangan ko pang baguhin?

This allows to me free up a lot of my time and focus on things that I truly like to do. I also feel less awkward around men now as I no longer see them as a potential love life. All good.

But then, there's this monoblock chair that I've been noticing for a while now...

Pero wala lang naman. Mukhang hindi naman sya single. Siguro tamang pampasaya lang ng araw habang iniisip ko pa kung paano ko magagawa lahat ng gusto ko sa buhay.

Si Monoblock Chair. Lol.

Promise, wala akong gagawin.

-------

Area contest in 2 days time. Tinatamad akong umalis pero excited akong makita ang mga friends ko. Nalulungkot ako dahil alam kong wala sya and I'm really sad on how things turned up for him. At times I wonder how he's doing. At times I'm worried on how his absence will affect us, people of the same circle, now that he's no longer around. Ang dami kong hindi alam. Ayoko pa rin magtanong. Sa tingin ko kasi, minsan, ang kindest na pwede natin gawin sa isang tao e to not ask them difficult questions.

Nalulungkot pa rin ako.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:56 PM.

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Tuesday
火曜日: December 3, 2019



2:59PM and I've been awake for 2 hours already. I'm supposed to wake up at 5. Takte, pagtulog lang ang goal ko sa araw na to, hindi ko pa magawa.

Met up with Mel last night before work to plan our trip. I just learned that some of her friends will join us. See, Mel is a very kind and considerate woman. Tingin ko, hindi nya lang talaga alam na I don't feel comfortable with strangers. Hindi ko nalang din sinabi. Siguro panahon narin para matuto akong makihalubilo sa ibang tao.

Bigla kong namiss si Injan, my favorite travel buddy.

------

1st day ko bilang night shift kahapon. Someone else is sitting on my usual seat so I needed to select a new one  Gelo, who logged off at 9pm, offered me to just sit on the seat he left, saying, "dito ka nalang para may kausap ka". He's so much like PK. When I asked PK saan maganda umupo, he always consider a seat kung saan may makakatabi ako in his recommendations. Sabagay, hindi nga siguro normal sa tao na ayaw ng katabi. I've long known I'm not normal. And really, do I have to? I appreciate these two though. Gelo and PK. 

So, I chose a seat just adjacent to the section where the j-speakers sit. Right behind me is TL D. Next to him is PM who's an SME. I wasn't keen on sitting anywhere near D because I thought he's strict and masungit. I learned na hindi naman pala. Feeling ko nga I picked the best seat because of him. Surely, he's strict, pero within reasons naman. Takot ako magtanong dun dati, pero nakakatuwa na accomodating pala sya. Best part e alam nya lagi yung sagot. Feeling ko talaga, best seat ang napili ko dahil sa taong yun. Pero syempre takot parin ako magtanong all the time kasi baka magalit na sakin yun. I still plan to sit next to PK ng Thu and Fri pag naka rest day na yung katabi nya sa upuan. Yun kasi kahit kulitin ko, di naman magagalit yun.

-------

3:24pm. Wala pang 4 hours ang itinulog ko. Good luck in staying up until 6AM.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:31 PM.

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Tuesday
火曜日: October 29, 2019



Home now. Been commuting from home to work since Monday. I woke up 5:50 since I need to leave before 8 so that I can get to the office before 10. Kaso, putek, ansakit ng tiyan ko.

Tuesday today. Parents will leave later to watch a movie. Senior citizens are free to watch 1 movie every Tuesday here. I will be left alone in the house to nurse this stomach ache. At least I have my dog Gigi.

Earlier this year, Gigi got very sick. I thought she was going to die. I even baptized her so that she can be with her mother - my dog, Thangs - in heaven. Isa si Gigi sa hiniling ko kay Jesus nung Feast of Divine Mercy. Binigay Nya naman. Iniisip ko tuloy kung nasama ko ba sa dasal ko ang love life. Imposible namang nakalimutan ko yun din ba? Nasa Cebu ako non, nakalimutan ko ba?

Ang dami palang nangyari ng taong ito. Ang bait ng Langit. May bago akong work at sa totoo lang, feeling ko ang tagal ko na rito. It has been 3 months pero parang distant past na ang co #3 for me. The only link I got there is this dude who had been sending me messages.

Someone told me before- more like, announced - that this guy has a crush on me daw. Akala ko joke, well, baka joke lang naman talaga, but the guy started sending me messages. Wala lang naman. Hindi rin ako masyado nagrereply. Hindi sa suplada ako. It's just that, that guy is married. Sa tingin ko, hangga't mahal ko ang nanay ko, hindi pa rin siguro ako papatol sa may asawa. Mahirap magsalita ng tapos, kaya "siguro". 

-------

Hindi ko matandaan kung paano nagsimula, basta bigla nalang na sila Charlie at Wendy e naghahanap ng lalaking irereto sakin. Ipapakita dapat sakin ni Charlie yung picture, pero sabi ko "kahit wag na picture, payslip nalang." When I got back after lunch, Charlie was like, "payslip gusto mo di ba, may nahanap na kaming lalaki para sayo." As I got back to my seat, I asked, "sino?" Then Wendy made me turn around and pointed me to Angelo. He's also a j-speaker. I've seen that guy's payslip. Alam kong pasado. Still, I didn't see this coming. Ang bait ng taong yun, I kinda feel bad na nadadamay sya sa mga kalokohang to.

Payslip nga kaya ang importante sakin? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam.

---------

Ansakit parin ng tiyan ko. Ano ba to? Uso daw ang swine flu, e hindi naman ako kumakain ng baboy. Red tide?

Matutulog nalang ako.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:33 AM.

3 コメント





Malay Mo
火曜日: October 9, 2019



"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different result."

Si Einstein ata ang may sabi neto.

Pero... malay mo.

May story sa bible na nangingisda yung mga apostles. Wala silang nahuli. Pauwi na dapat sila, pero sinabihan sila ni Jesus na try lang ulet, pero sa mas malalim na pumunta. Tipong try the same thing again but do it differently this time around. When they did, it worked for them. Ang dami nilang nahuli, muntik na masira ang lambat at hindi pa nagkasya sa iisang bangka.

Maybe it can work for me as well. Di ba? Lol.

I'm already 34. It's not like I haven't been hurt before. Hindi rin naman ako takot. Pero kung susuong ako sa laban, ayoko naman nung sobrang dehado ako. Yung alam mo yun? Ewan.

Basta. Bahala na. Siguro magpapatangay nalang ako ulit sa agos.

-------

Gutom na ko. Walang makain sa mall. The last time, magkaron ako ng meeting sa resto na walang salad. Lahat ng nasa menu e pork at chicken. Wala rin shrimp or squid. Ang ending, nag order ako ng cake at mango frappe.

Ngayon ko nalaman na hindi ko pala ikapapayat ang pagiging vegetarian.

Pero ang weird no? At mejo magical din. Hindi ako disiplonadong tao, pero for over a week, kahit anong gutom ko, hindi parin ako kumain ng kahit anong hayop na may back bone.

Wala lang. Ang galing lang.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:48 PM.

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Bagay Things
火曜日: September 17, 2019



Iniisip ko kung manonood ako ng sine or mag me-memorize ng speech. Putek, kailangan ko na magtipid. Promise, gusto ko lang suportahan ang pelikulang Pilipino kahit hindi ko naman talaga nagustuhan yung pinanood ko kagabi.

--------

"Weakness mo talaga ang mga bading no?" BFF said a few days back.

Tingin ko hindi naman talaga ganun yun.

Mejo declining na yung liking though. For all I know, baka friendship lang rin to. 

"Ang sarap ng feeling na mauuna akong umuwi sayo." He said this earlier, pero wag ka, 8 na sya umuwi at sumabay sakin.

"Saan ang way mo?"

"Sa puso mo."

"Ha?"

"Sa puso ng Pilipino."

Kung di ko alam na bading to, iisipin kong nakikipaglandian sakin to. Pero kilala ko sya e. Alam kong normal nya yan.

Still, crush or not, I won't mind having this person around. If only he can just stay.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:20 PM.

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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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