Entries in category "土曜日"



Walk in faith
土曜日: June 6, 2020



My Avaya app stopped working today. For over 2 months, surely there were little issues here and there, pero ngayon lang to hindi gumana ng isang buong araw. Nag clear cache na ko, nag resetup na ko. Tinry ko na rin sa iba pang device, ayaw talagang gumana.

I was off work Thur-Fri, yet needed to report for at least 2 hrs each day for the training. Nakakapanghina ng loob sa hirap. Sabi ng kasama ko sa team, sa sobrang hirap daw napanaginipan nya na daw yung training. Takte, me too! Hirap na hirap akong matulog these days sa kaba sa mga susunod na mangyayari. 

I did ask the Heavens for help. Kasi hindi ko na talaga alam gagawin ko. I wonder if my broken Avaya is the Heavens way of helping me out. Syempre hindi ko parin alam. May usap usapan daw ng pagbabalik office for some people. With my Avaya not working, natatakot ako na baka bigla nalang akong papasukin. Ayoko pumasok, buwis-buhay from Bulacan to Quezon City. I have parents who are senior citizens. I have a kitten and 3 dogs. I can't risk passing the virus to them. Pero takte, ako lang ang inaasahan samin para sa panggastos.

Sighs. Hindi ko naman na talaga control ang mga bagay na to. Ang tanging option ko lang e to have faith... then let go. 

Bahala ka na sa akin, Universe.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:53 PM.

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Cinderella
土曜日: May 23, 2020



12:01mn. 1 minute past Cinderella's curfew.

In 12 hours, I'll start with my new work shift. Mejo nakakakaba.

I just finished watching Howl's Moving Castle. It's the first Studio Ghibli film na napanood ko na merong clear happy ending. Found a Japanese version with English subs. I think this is the closest I can get with my Japanese language studies.

Around 12 hrs back, I woke up in my brother's message about my nephew's newborn screening results. Our baby boy got an "out of normal range" in one of the tests. I've researched what it meant. Sabi, no cure. Need na ng support for life. May lead to anaemia. They'll be seeing the doctor tomorrow. I know it could be worse. Pero sana parin, mali lang ang test. Sana ok parin si Kyler.

Also found out that a friend have tested positive in COVID. I feel so sorry for her, specially for her children. Wala naman daw syang nararamdaman, well, aside from emotional distress, that is. Ang hirap ng panahon na ito. Sobra. I feel sorry. I feel scared. It's hard to feel so many things at the same time.

Hindi ko ni lu look forward ang pasok ko bukas ( technically, mamaya). Nasanay na rin ako na tulog sa umaga at gising sa gabi. Kinakabahan din ako dahil hindi ako familiar sa process ng Japanese users since I've had very few of them sa night shift. Alam ko, marami pang tao na may mas malaking problema kesa sakin.

Sa mga panahon na hindi ako natatakot o nag-aalala, nararamdaman ko rin naman yung gratitude. Alam ko naman na kahit maraming hindi magagandang nangyayari, naa outweigh parin ng good things ang mga bad things sa buhay ko. Siguro kailangan ko lang talagang matutunang kumalma.

My friend said COVID testing costed her 8k for the 1st test. She needs to undergo 2 more tests na dapat mag negative na this time, to get cleared. That will be 24k pesos for all 3 tests. Iniisip ko tuloy kung may sapat ba kong pera pag may nagkasakit samin.

Hindi na ko aabsent ulet. Kailangang makaipon.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:32 AM.

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52
土曜日: May 16, 2020



Past 12mn na nung bumalik ang kuryente. Humupa na ang bagyo. Balik na naman ang alinsangan ng panahon, at nagbago ang isip ng aming local government at pinromote muli kami sa mecq last minute bago ang supposed  transition namin sa gcq.

Parang walang patutunguhan ang 2020.

Got the announcement kagabi sa bagong set of officers sa club. One of my ladies was elected for the highest position and they were like ako na daw susunod. For the past 3 years I've been dodging that position like a plague. This year, I went as far as postponing my membership renewal just to make sure I won't get elected. I feel like they still don't get it.

With this, all my friends are either a past president or a current president na. Normal lang siguro na hindi nila ma gets why I don't want it. Ako nga rin, hindi ko gets. Lol.

Last night, Ivan was asking if I'll renew na, now that the new officers have been announced. I hate explaining my shit, and I feel like these people keep on making me feel like I have to explain my shit. This is making me feel all the more wanting to extract myself off their circle. Maybe they mean well. Siguro mawawala rin tong feeling na to pag humupa na yung irita feeling na nararamdaman ko.

Sighs. Parang walang dereksyon ang buhay.

Siguro ang priority lang naman talaga natin dapat sa panahon na to e keeping ourselves alive.

Ewan.

I want to find a way to feel more alive these days.

I've been on full defensive mode. Naiirita ko sa lahat ng kumakausap sakin kahit online lang. The very few times na pumatol ako sa simpleng kamustahan, nairita lang rin ako. Maybe they didn't mean it that way pero feeling ko kasi tunuturuan nila ko kung paano ako dapat mabuhay. I hate that. I really hate that. 

Pero sa kabila ng di matapos tapos na rebulusyon sa isip ko, thankful parin ako na ok kaming lahat.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:24 PM.

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Black
土曜日: April 11, 2020



I should've slept few hrs ago as I'll be on an 8p-5a shift later. I ended up finishing up to ep 9 of this kdrama I'm watching. The female lead is a lawyer. So at the dining table kanina I told Mom I'd study law. I think my parents have had enough of my confusing life plans.

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Red alert today, I'm having cramps. Ayoko sanang pumasok. Sana walang calls.

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An acquaintance posted on fb that she's selling parts of her land in quezon. 50k, 100sqm. Sa 100k, i can buy a big enough land for a small house and s little garden. But if I want to build a farm, how much land do I need?

Minsan ang sarap magpakalayu layo no? Maiba lang. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 05:18 PM.

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土曜日: February 29, 2020



Just got home and couldnt help but cry because Gigi is no longer here to greet me. This is the first time that I cried since Mom texted me na wala na si Gigi yesterday. I miss my Gigi so much. 

Ilang minutes palang ako nakakaupo sa sofa when sis-in-law texted Mom that she needs to be admitted in the hospital daw. The doc said that if her BP will keep on going higher, sis-in-law might need to deliver my nephew prematurely.

Then there's Dad's operation to be scheduled for on Monday. I'll only recieve 1-day pay for the next cut off.

Ok lang. Kaya to. Pero pwede, wag naman sunod sunod, Universe.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:40 PM.

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House Arrest
土曜日: February 15, 2020



Lifted na ang travel ban sa Taiwan. Learned from Mel that their company is considering na wag na ituloy ang self-quarantine nila. I asked the boss if ako rin ba. Said he'll ask the Manager on Monday. Sa totoo lang, I'd love to rest some more. Tinatamad lang talaga akong mag file ng sickness benefit application sa SSS at umaasa parin ako na baka mahabol ko pa yung stats ko para sa shift bid on March.

3rd day of house arrest  (self-quarantine). Nag plano ako kung paano ako magda diet. Sinimulan ko na rin mag stationary bike for 30 minutes. Bad trip lang, naisipang mang libre ng kapatid ko. Nung lunch nagpa lechong manok sya. Hindi ako na apektohan bilang hindi naman ako kumakain ng hayop. Kaso nung meryenda, nagpa cassava cake at palabok sya. Oh well, I'll start again tomorrow. Gusto ko pag balik ko sa work, sexy na ko. Please help me, Universe.

Mel, who is also in house arrest, e nagyayayang mag jogging. Ayoko magjogging. Nakakapagod. So sabi ko mag Sagada nalang kami, or Baguio, o kaya magpa tattoo kay Wang Od. Kahit ano basta wag lang kami mag jogging She said yes to Sagada. Syempre nag jo-joke lang naman ako. Goodness, diet na diet kaya ang wallet ko ngayon. Ni hindi nga ako makapuntang SM.

Na surprise ako sa naging expenses namin sa Taiwan. Mga 30% lang ng total budget ko ang nagamit namin. Tatlo na kami non. And we were eating lavishly most of the time (though there were times na nag 7-11 lang kami or kaya nag tinapay because we didn't have much time). I have a few dollars left from our trip, may pera naman talaga ko. Hindi nga lang peso. Sayang rin kasing ipapalit. Bababa na ang value.

E kung tumuloy kaya akong Sagada? After ng hassle na nai cause ko sa boss ko with this trip, hindi ko alam kung mapapayagan pa ko sa matagalang leave next time. Hindi ko rin sure kung may leave credits pa ko. Feeling ko ito nalang ang chance kong makagala ng matagal.

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Andami kong time!!! Wooohooo! Sana tuloy ang quarantine. Sana bayaran parin ng SSS ang leaves ko. Sana magkaron ng milagro sa shift bid at makuha ko parin ang gusto kong shift.

Nalinis ko na ang kwarto ko. Sunod kong gagawin e magbasa ng libro. May nabasa akong article na may book daw si Dean Koontz nung 80s pa kung saan accidentally e parang na predict nya ang pagkalat ng virus sa Wuhan ngayon. Wuhan-400 ang tawag nila sa virus dun sa book. Kaka download ko lang. Malapit ko na matapos yung isang chapter. Si Dean Koontz e isa sa mga paboritong authors namin nung college. Nagkalat ang Dean Koontz books na sumicirculate sa section namin noon. Marami kasing Dean Koontz books sa Book Sale at yun lang ang afford namin dati. Funny we can afford more expensive books now... but for some reason, we don't read as much anymore. Hindi ko masasabing dahil busy kami ngayon. We were engineering students. Boy, we were more than busy. Feeling ko nga mas busy pa kami back then kesa ngayon. Siguro sadyang naiiba lang ang priority natin as we grow older.

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Siguro kailangan kong mag low-internet diet para maging productive.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:48 PM.

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No to racism and other bs
土曜日: February 1, 2020



Shift bid over. I landed at the 5th rank but somehow managed to get the shift I want. 9AM-6PM. With this I'll be able to attend out Friday meetings sa club on time...

Then I realized, we're back to 1st, 3rd and 5th Friday sched, which means I'll only be able to attend on the 3rd Friday because I'll be in Taiwan during the 1st. I will have to endure waking up early and very little sleep all for 1 night of our meeting. What the eff. Pero ok lang din. Iniisip ko kung paano ko maitatawid ang schedule ko on March. Wala namang ganap nyan. I think I can take the worst sched, but still~

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Ang daming opinyon ng mga tao sa social media re nCoV. Others think against racism sa mga Chinese, saying they are humans too and victims of the virus. Others think we are just overreacting. Others defend that by saying that we act this way because we care. Yung iba naman, Pinoy daw muna, Pilipino muna, and all these "be nice to Chinese" sheeesh are all BS daw.

Pag babad ka sa social media and hirap na hanapin kung ano ba yung raw opinyon mo sa mga bagay bagay. Yung hindi na sulsulan lang ng mga posts na nababasa mo.

Ang alam ko lang,

1. We should do our best to protect ourselves and our family. I've long stopped depending on the government for protection because they always lose their backbone everytime the issue involves China.

2. If you feel sorry for Chinese people, go ahead, be sorry. But do not allow your emotion to cloud your logic and start thinking that we should start embracing their virus-laden presence in our country. And UTANG NA LOOB, stop spreading that #notoracism bullshit because this is a time for our people to highten our vigilance. Yung lecheng nag post tungkol sa pamilyang Chinese na nagpaubayang mahuli sa pagsakay sa elevator should've joined them instead. I mean, no hard feelings. I feel sorry that they came from China and they're probably sick, pero takte, wag mo kami hawaan. Lol. HINDI TAMANG NANDITO SILA SA PILIPINAS SAMANTALANG SARILI NILANG BANSA HINDI SILA TINATANGGAP. No to racism your face. Hindi sila dapat nandito.

3. Wag mag panic. That won't help. Do your best. Stay informed.

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Ilang linggo na kong nakatambay sa website ng Earthclinic. May contributor dun from Thailand na isang gifted naturopath. The last I heard of him e he had a stroke daw. I wonder what he would've prescribed at a time like this na may epidemya. I searched for the website's archive for his posts regarding SARS and MERS. Now I'm headed to buy the supplements he recommended. Hindi naman talaga ako takot sa nCoV. But I'm not taking chances and let it hit my family. (If you're interested, go to earthclinic.com, type "SARS" on the search box, and click the tab for "Ted's Q&A").



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:49 AM.

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K
土曜日: January 25, 2020



"Mukhang may chemistry kayo nung bago nating member," Andee told me the last time we met. I just laughed because the person she's talking about is my mentee. I was the one who assigned mentors to our new members. To be fair, I assigned it through draw lots. Promise, hindi ako nandaya. Kung ako pumili non, iba siguro pipiliin ko. Lol.

I was watching the vids that I got from our Friday night bonding yesterday. Aliw na aliw ako sa bago kong mentee kasi ang kulit kulit nya. Sa totoo lang, when I got his name sa draw lots, mejo di ko bet. Akala ko kasi snob sya, mayabang, at tipong hindi magiging active sa meeting. E takte, ang kulit kulit pala nitong taong to.

Ang tagal na when I added him sa FB bilang part ng trabaho ko ang mangulit sa mga role takers every meeting, pero ngayon ko lang naisipang i-check ang profile nya. What the efffffff, lawyer to? National defense something something, basta tunog astig. Yung kasama naming makipagkulitan at tumatawa na parang walang bukas e may ganito palang background? Wala lang. Interesting. 

Then I started asking a friend na kilatisin kung bading ba to (because you know my inclinations, right?)Tapos ngayon nag wa wonder ako kung single kaya sya. Hahaha. 

Kahapon lang sa ibang lalaki ka interesado. Lol.

Pero, come on. I have all the right to be kerengkeng because I'm very much single. Haha.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:24 PM.

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Katsu da
土曜日: January 12, 2020



Gumising akong mejo tinatamad na umalis ng bahay. Ang puso at diwa ko kasi ay nagbabakasyon na sa Taiwan nitong mga nakaraang araw. Pero nagbago ang lahat ng nakita ko ang mga kasama ko sa club. Lakas mang asar at mang bully ng mga taong to. Kaya siguro love ko sila.

In the end, nanalo ko bilang champion sa contest. Hindi ako nagkaron ng time na maenjoy ang victory ko dahil tawang tawa ko sa mga kalokohan ng mga kasama ko. Yung tinawag yung pinakamalakas na contender bilang second place, inassume na nila na ako ang nanalo. Ayoko nga sana lumapit sa stage kasi hindi ko naman narinig na tinawag yung pangalan ko sa sobrang ingay nila. Kinilig lang ako when AD Ces was teasing the audience before announcing the champion saying, "I'm looking at her right now", while looking at me. Wala lang. Ang saya lang.

Winning the area contest means I should be advancing to the division level. This will be happening on Feb 8. I will be in Taiwan then. I knew this from the start and I was okay with it. Nalungkot lang ako kasi Keren from the neighboring club sweetly offered na me-makeupan nya daw ako sa division contest. Tas nalaman ko pa na nag champion pala yung crush ko from other club dun sa area nila sa same category. Makakalaban ko sana sya sa division kung makaka attend lang ako.

Gusto ko makalaban si Crush. Syempre hindi ako magpapatalo. Sana mamove ang contest. I already talked to the 1st runner up regarding this though. But who knows... Universe, baka naman po...

Pero all kababawan aside, I'm happy that I won. Things haven't been smooth in the club lately. Or maybe feeling ko lang. But I think this victory brought smile to our faces, and that more than paid the price.

Next year, lalaban ako ulit. Gusto ko makaabot sa district level at maging national champion.

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One of the reasons why I wished to win the contest even before I actually did e para malaman nung everyday crush ko na I'm really good. Tas di man lang nya ni like yung post ko. Hmp.

Syet, ambabaw. Lol.

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One of the perks of not being pressured about getting married anymore e I can like whoever I want na.

There's this dude I've noticed since the last time we had a lengthy talk. For someone so young, he's quite matured. And with him, grabe, walang dull moments. Ang sarap nya kasing kausap. Bukod dun, ang ganda rin ng buhok nya, ang haba ng pilikmata, tas ang ganda rin ng kamay nya. He's such a gentleman also and is really generous. When he's not wearing anything formal, tipong everyday casual lang, he kinda looks gwapo and nagiging obvious ang pagiging rich kid nya. On top of that, he's very very smart. I think his only flaw is that, he's just 21 years old. Lol.

I used to like 1 guy at a time lang, pero ngayon paramiran na. And really, why not? For 1, hindi naman nila alam. Lol. 2, hindi ko naman sila papakasalan lahat. Lol ulet.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:38 AM.

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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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