Entries in category "Saturday"



HO
Saturday: March 24, 2019



I don't know if there's a scientific explanation on this, yung pag pinagsabay mo ang alak at mint candy, mas malakas ang magiging effect ng alcohol?

Had a little inuman shesh/bonding/meeting with the gang, so today, I woke up and attended the training with a skull-cracking headache.

Namiss ko to. Alcohol and conversations is my favorite mix. The ladies and I are planning for another inuman shesh next Friday. Ang tagal ko nang gustong makipag inuman, gulapay levels. Lord, pengi pera, please.

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Jer saw that Bea's boyfie was working on some stock market-related sheesh on his laptop. We flooded questions on him afterwards, and Bea beamed proudly.

Ang cute ng mag jowang to. I feel so happy for Bea. I think it would be great kung sila na ang magkakatuluyan. I wholeheartedly support these lovebirds.

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If there's something I've learned in the love front as I grew older, siguro yun e yung "little things matter." Ang fragile ng puso ng taong nagmamahal, that's why you have to be extra careful. If you feel like your person is seeking assurance that he's the only one, then by all means, give it to him. Mind games are only for children and inducing jealousy is only cute in koreanovela. In real life, these things can set you apart little by little until the rift grew to a point na hindi nyo na kayang i-reconcile.

Gusto kong tandaan ang lesson na to in case magamit ko in the future. *wink wink*

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Sending Gigi back to the hospital on Thursday. I'm happy that the cage allowed me to take a leave. Thank you, Lord.

Our fur baby might be needing to undergo an operation. Sana ma accomplish lahat ng kailangang gawin on Thursday because I'm starting to feel bad about having to take a leave already.

Gigi looks so much better now. Sana tuloy tuloy na.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:06 AM.

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1249
Saturday: March 2, 2019



Two things I don't like: goodbyes and change.

It was a sad TM evening. I was told G and I were not coming. It wasn't the first time that the 2 of them failed to attend, and in those times we were able to fare well naman. It just feels different when you know one of them will not be around for a while.

Sa lakas mang-asar nung taong yon, imposible namang hindi ko mamiss yon.

Nakakalungkot. My friends explained the reason. Maybe it can't be help. But 6 months is an effing long time. Kailangan ba talaga? This is so sad.

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Chatting with bff earlier. She's expressing her fears and worries abt the wedding. I tried to console her but failed big time. Because, come on, what would I know about cold feet? I've never been engaged.

She seemed fine naman. I told her I'm happy for her and ask her na i-prayover ang lovelife ko. Sabi nya lagi naman daw. My bff is a Mama Mary levels good woman. I know she meant it when she said she's been praying for me. I wonder what's taking God so long. 

Bff told me "mag da move ka na kasi" and that "hindi masama mag flirt". BFF has been away for so long, I think the 'me' that she remembers is a totally different person.

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I'm meeting some dude next week. Business matters naman talaga. It's just that he's someone I was interested to back in the day and the things that bff told me kept ringing in my ears. 

Baka mamaya pag nagkita kami masabi ko na, "di ba single ka pa? Tayo nalang. Tara let's get married and have babies."

Tengene. Laugh trip.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:52 AM.

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Suki ni shiro
Saturday: February 23, 2019



My head aches. Insomnia has been visiting me from time to time. Not as often as back in the day. Still, this devil is far from welcome.

It was quite a busy night at the club last night. I tried to finish my dinner before 7 so we can start on time. When I got back to my senses, I've noticed the rice on my plate is almost finished. I'm not supposed to eat rice. 

Mom bought some chocolate drink for me and my niece. I'm not really that keen about losing weight if it wasn't for the gown that I'm supposed to wear. I remember a few years back, Atkins wasn't this hard. I used to lose 1 kilo per day, but now I don't know if I've lost any weight at all.

Pagtapos ng kasalang ito, kakainin ko na lahat ng gusto kong kainin. Wahhh! Gusto ko ng pizza.

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I'm a bit worried. I don't even know what I should be worried about. 

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I used to think that the club is probably jinxed because the people there who came single remained single for a very long time.

But Neri had just gotten married.

Trina, Bea and another-Instagirl-who-must-not-be-named are now in a relationship.

Has the jinx been lifted? Can I go next now, Universe? 

Char.

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"Maganda ka naman kahit walang make up."

"Ihahatid kita kahit ikaw lang."

For someone who has made it his life's goal to annoy me, it kinda feel eerie when he's sounding a lot nicer like this.

Ano kayang nakain nitong taong to?

"Shall I go next now, Universe?"

...

Gah, that's so funny.

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Attending Dean's MSME course on Wednesday.

It will be nice if I'll meet someone interesting.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:27 PM.

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Staying power
Saturday: January 26, 2019



So the day progressed yesterday with me wholeheartedly believing tbat it was Thursday until someone from the office said, "happy weekend", so I had to check my phone only to realized it was Friday. Thank you very much.

Home now. There were a lot of things I was so scared and worried about. But there's just something magical about being home that it melts my worries away. In a couple of days, maybe my fears will haunt me back again. But for now, I want to enjoy home.

My niece happily reported to me that she went to her new school yesterday. Come June and she'll leave day care and will move to nursery. Bro and sis-in-law decided to send her to the same school that Bro and I attended. It was funny my niece was boasting "ang laki ng school ko" so I told her dun rin kami nag aral ng daddy nya. I even showed her the picture.

It seems like yesterday when that picture was taken. Grade 1, I was 7 and Brother was grade 2. It was Christmas party so we weren't on uniforms. In the background, my cousins are visible in blurred forms as they were approaching us to have all our pictures taken.

Ang bilis ng paglipas ng panahon. My neice doesn't want to have siblings. I wouldn't know if I'd be the same when I was her age because I was never given a choice. When I was born, I already have a brother. Mom said my brother had always wanted to have one though.

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I just finished Legend of the blue sea yesterday. Looks like I can finish a 20-episode long series in a week because I don't really have so much work load. If I'd kept watching, I can finish about 52 series in a year. I can already feel Kdramas frying my brain cells.

I'm a woman who likes men. I think there will be always something nice about a guy if only you will look hard enough. Maybe it's in the way he talks. Or in the way his eyes squint when he's smiling. Or the way he adjusts the watch on wrist. I think men are fascinating creatures.

But with these kdrama men being so perfect and all, I just can't see normal men the same way again. 

They're not even real. Boy, this is bad.

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I was killing time at the bookstore yesterday. I bought Bob Ong's new book and walked around browsing. I found that Dean Koontz is still writing books and Harry Potter still has a whole section all for itself.

It's been more the a decade and our favorite books are still up in the shelves. They are still there even if we've long been gone.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:21 AM.

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Sabishii
Saturday: January 19, 2019



It's 10:38. Mom and Dad went out for some medical thingy and Brother left to see a doctor on a separate hospital. Niece and Sis-in-law followed and they met for their own mini family bonding. I was left to man the house, cook breakfast for Mom and Dad and that was pretty much it. 

Tomorrow is the feast of Sto. Nino. We'll have a mini feast at home. Still debating whether to go back to Metro tomorrow or go straight to the office by Monday. My weekends have been pretty uncomplicated these days, and I really like it.

My job is foreign-language related. Though I could be getting more more money somewhere else, I think I get a pretty decent pay. I give most of my salary to my mother. My needs are pretty scarce so what's left is more than enough for myself. It's not so bad, you know. I'm just watching Korean drama at the office anyway.

It's hard to get motivated to do better when I already got everything I need. I know it doesn't cover my future, but it's hard to look into the future when you don't even know what's in there.

Hayst.

Last year, I watch a Korean drama, Go Back Couple, and it kept haunting me up to this day. The storyline is, there is a couple who got a divorce. A lot of misunderstandings were involved. They said they wish they never met. Then by some miracle, they just woke up and they were both timetravelled back to the time they met-- in college.

This kept me daydreaming of also going back. 

If you will be given a chance to travel back in time, which part of your life will you go back to?

Mine is in college. I find it pretty odd. Not in the time when I made some stupid decision in my early 20s. Not in the time when I had the best days of my life in CKC, not in time when I was a sometimes-happy-sometimes-overdramatic teenager. I don't know why I want it to be college. I think I just want to do it better this  time.

I wasn't bad though. There were 50+ students in our section when we started, and I was one of the 5 who made it out alive after 5 years without extension. I wasn't bad. I know I did my best. I don't know why I want to go back there badly.

Of course, it can't happen. And all that's left to do is move forward. It's nice to know I've got nothing to lose. What's bad is that it makes me ask, "why bother?" That's why I don't and I'm getting stagnant.

Sometimes I wish that the Heavens will just tell me what to do so that I don't have to think about it myself.

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Universe, I want to feel happier tomorrow. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:19 PM.

3 comments





Authenticity
Saturday: December 8, 2018



I've been thinking about this word for some time now. I remember I once saw a post about two people with blue colored skin, looking for someone who has the same skin color. They met and all but were never able to recognize that each was what the other had been looking for, because both were wearing a mask.

I think it's bad when people pretend to care when they actually don't, but I think it's worse when they pretend that they don't when they actually do.

If I'll be my authentic self, I'll be hugging every single person I appreciate. That is probably going to be creepy. Lol.

I have so much to thank God today.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:03 PM.

3 comments





Hedgehog
Saturday: December 1, 2018



I remember he was the one who introduced me to pritong palaka. I bet I wouldn't ever know the taste if it wasn't for him. I also learned from him that a small galunggong is also called "jiji". I was never a fan of fish since I was small, but I liked the jiji that we ate in their house. I even told my mother to cook jiji but it just didn't taste the same.

I also remember how he often stormed the house to pick a fight with my dad, his younger brother. I remember he once broke our window while causing raucous. I remember becoming big enough and brave (others might say stupid) enough to get out of the house to fight him back and tell him to stop pestering Dad. I remember the shouting. He brought his gun some time... but never once pointed it to me. I remember lola's tears. I remember shouting at tita for telling me to stop. I remember crying and saying sorry for talking back. I remember being angry, so angry.

But I also remember asking Dad to forgive him. I remember how I started to realize that he was just a child in a man's body, how he never learned how to express his love properly. I thought then that he's stupid, but also pitiful. I also remember thinking that maybe he's not really a bad person afterall.

I remember how one of his grandchildren died. Just an infant then. I remember how Dad went to his house to attend the funeral of the child and the warmth I felt in my heart when he and Dad finally reconciled.

He was the toughest man in the family. Also the most industrious. I don't remember him going to the gym, but even at an old age, he had abs to prove his daily physical labor. I remember him helping us collect the garbage. I remember him being our go-to person when there were threats of burglary in the neighborhood. He was the man-est a man can be. He was Tito Peping.

He left us today. He's the first to go among Dad's many siblings. I was saying my condolences to my orphaned cousins, but I don't know. I don't think there will be any word that could soothe a grieving child's heart. If it had been Dad... oh God... I don't know.

Rest in peace, Tito. Salamat sa lahat ng tulong mo. Sa paghatid mo sakin papasok sa trabaho when Mom and Dad were in the province. Our memories were not all bliss, but I'm glad, we were able to work things out. Between you and me, between you and Dad.

I pray that my cousins will find the peace and comfort they need at a time like this. I don't know what to give. Heavens, please... 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:14 PM.

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Bleak
Saturday: November 24, 2018



Malabo, malabo, malabo talaga. O sya, wag na nga lang.

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Man, I can't believe this. Last day of kcon na tomorrow. Tas back to real world na. I'm not really sad. I miss my niece, Mom, my plants, my room, and so on. Tsaka... gusto ko na rin simulang ayusin ang buhay ko.

I'm glad I came. I'll just miss the songs and the lights.

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One of my classes was about raising selfless children in a self-entitled world. I took it basically for my niece because I'm afraid she'd grow to be maldita since she's a little too well-loved and spoiled. While listening to the talk, it turned out that my brother and sis-in-law seem to be doing quite a good job.

I want to also apply the things I learn to my future kids. Sabi nila binibigay daw satin ng Universe ang mga bagay na gusto natin kapag totoong handa na tayo. See, I don't dream to become a mother. I dream to build my own family. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung paano magkakatotoo yun. I know my limitations. I know my handicap. Something I don't know how to overcome. But the Heavens had shown me miracles before. I can't see why He wouldn't do that again this time or in the near future.

Dean Pax showed us a video about a butterfly who was never able to fly for the rest of it's butterfly life. Because a man, out of his kindness, tried to help the butterfly get out of its cocoon by cutting it. The man thought that the butterfly needed help because it took the butterfly so long to finally get out of the cocoon and it seemed to be having a hard time to get out. It turned out that to be able to fly, the butterfly needed to go through all those slow and painful process.

My journey as a caterpillar has been long and excruciating. I don't even know if I'm already at my cocoon stage. But if the Heavens is indeed preparing me for this, then maybe when that day comes, I will be an amazing mother and an amazing wife.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:53 PM.

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Joy
Saturday: November 10, 2018



I found this on the timeline of an fb friend who is a cancer survivor. I love it so much, I'm making this a sticky post.

"We have the right to our joy -- sick or healthy; with children or no children; with partner or no partner. Seek it! Find it! And have a joyful life no matter how much you make or don't make."

May we all find joy in every day of our lives. Goodnight. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:34 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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