Entries in category "土曜日"


土曜日. September 18, 2021

Juuichi nichi me

Ika labing-isang araw ngayon. Bumalik na ko sa trabaho, dahil wala na kong sasahurin, at andami ko pang bayarin.

1 day lang ang ipinasok ko last week. Saka ko nalang siguro iisipin.

Still sick. I've lost about 5 kilos already. Yung na pandemic fats na na accumulate ko sa isa't kalahating taon ng pandemic, na lose on the 8th day of being sick. I still keep on losing weight to date, pero di parin naman ako payat. Mga 18 kilo pa siguro.

I can taste food na. I eat like a normal person, but not yet on my "normal" standard. May ice cream pa ko sa ref, takot akong kainin dahil sa ubo ko. I fear eating anything for the same reason. I've been coughing a lot, I've been having muscle pain na sa abs. I often drink green tea, because it's the most effective way to tame my cough. As a result, eto, GERD. Sana kayanin ng tiyan ko.

I still can't smell. Palyado naman talaga ang sense of smell ko noon pa, but it was never like this na wala talaga at all.

Mom still feels weak. She's lost only 2 kilos as she tries to eat as often as possible to regain some energy. Payat din naman kasi si Mama. Sobrang nakakapag alala pag nagkakasakit ang parents, lalo't senior. Sana talaga gumaling na si Mama. And me too. And Dad too. 

Namimiss ko nang huminga nang walang sumasabit sa lungs ko. Though I do feel a little better naman na, gusto ko parin maging healthy ulet.

antagal na napostpone ang mga plano ko sa buhay dahil sa sakit na to. Pero thankful na eventhough there's discomfort whenever I breathe, well, at least I'm still breathing. 

Sana talaga gumaling na kami.


12:45 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く


* * * *

土曜日. August 14, 2021

Kuuki yomenai no ka

Kamusta daw, sabi ng relative ko sa probinsya. Kala ko uutang. Even worse, hihingi pala. Pandagdag daw sa bibilhin cellphone pang online class ng anak nya, na inaanak ko.

Naiistress ako. Naiirita. Nakakairita kasi feeling ko ang damot ko. Hahaha. Totoo, ang laki ng binayaran ko sa credit card this cut off, at tootoong I borrowed money from mom kasi kinulang.

Pero syempre hindi ko rin sinabing meron naman akong fund sources, ayoko lang mag withdraw dahil sayang ang interest. Naiinis din ako sa conflicted feeling na to dahil 1) this is the 1st time na lumapit sakin ang taong to, hindi naman sya madalas manghingi. 2)naiintindihan ko na taghirap naman talaga. 3) tumanda na yung inaanak ko at few times ko lang syang nabigyan ng regalo. 4) alam kong dapat kong maisip na blessed ako to be on the giving end, and not with them on the receiving/borrowing/asking end.

But at the same time 1)ayoko ng feeling ng naabuso at pineperahan. 2) ayokong sanayin ang mga kamag-anak ko na sakin lumalapit kapag nagigipit. 3) hindi man lang nya naisip na utangin, hingi talaga, so mejo... nakakainis. 4) I want to take care of my self and the people in my life---- they're not one of those people. I want to make it clear to them na hindi ko sila pananagutan.

After explaining that I had to pay a lot for may credit card at walang extra sa ngayon, ang sagot ni relative e next time nalang daw pag may extra na ko. Naiinis ako na walang trace ng hiya sa side na.

Naiinis ako. Sa kanila. Siguro mainly because they make me realize na ang damot ko pala, though matagal ko naman nang alam. Siguro kasi, they made me explain myself, and I hate explaining myself. Siguro kasi they made me question my humanity, or on why I so much lack generosity... or compassion, and whatnot. Naiinis ako kasi alam ko na lahat ng rason ko, hindi naman talaga sila ang may kasalanan kung hindi ako. It's not them who are making me feel this way, it's my own thoughts. Di ba?

Sighs, yaan mo na nga.

------

Naghahanap ako ng way to trick myself into exercising. Naisip ko e yung game na gagalaw ka talaga physically. Nag check ako ng dance pad, pero wala namang compatible sa smart tv. Meron nakong nabasa about Xbox at Nintendo switch. The more I read about them, the more confused I become. Ano yung kinect? Ano yung console? Katulad ba to ng family computer nung 90s? Or iniinstall ba to gaya ng mobile games? Nakakalito.

An officemate suggest na bili daw ako ng 2nd hand para mas mura. Mahal daw kasi to. When she told me the price, narealize ko na magkaiba ang definition namin ng mahal at mura. Lol. To think that this person's salary is higher than mine, by 2-3k. 

Tsaka hassle ang 2nd hand. Pano pag di gumana. At least pag brand new, may warranty. Tsaka yung mga 2nd hand, for pickup pa sa kung saang ibayo. I seriously think that buying brand new is a wiser option.

Pero siguro, ang even wiser option e to not buy at all. Tokwa, maglalakad lakad nalang ako sa harap ng pc twing avail. Wala pa kong gastos.

Still considering it though. Meron kasi ata game na multiple players. Pwede siguro gamitin ng buong pamilya namin. Nag iisip pa ko.


05:21 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く


* * * *

土曜日. July 17, 2021

Hoshi mono

There are many things I wish to buy, but the desire to invest and save as much money as I can seem to have a better control over my spending. Hanggang kailan kaya tatagal ang pandemya na ito? Gusto ko nang yumaman. Malaki parin ang gastos ko kahit hindi ako masyado lumalabas. Mostly sa cat food. Ang mahal ng cat food. Grabe.

Gusto kong gumawa ng bagong template sa Tabulas. Maybe Jiraiya themed. Or Naruto themed. Wala lang kasi akong pc at ang hirap gumawa at mag test ng code kung nakacp. Hindi ko rin alam kung pano. Ayoko i-access ang tabulas sa work pc. Mahirap na.

The newly issued work laptop look nice. Nicheck ko yung presyo, nasa over 30k. Bibili ba ko?

Lol, syempre hindi. 

Gusto ko rin ng personal ref. Nasa 9k ata yung maliit. Bibili ba ko?

Again, hindi.

Maraming easy payment mode to buy a car. My life will be a whole lot easier if meron kaming sasakyan... bili na ba ko?

Hindi pa rin ang sagot.

Pag super mayaman na ko, titipirin ko pa rin ba ang sarili ko?

Though I don't spend one time big time, I do give in to mini luxuries, like aircon jeep kesa regular. Magtata tricycle for 70 pesos kahit wala akong bitbit, against 10 pesos sa jeep, para mabilis akong makauwi kesa lumakad ng kaunti. I also spend on good restaurants whenever I go out of the house. Afterall, halos once a week or once in every 2 weeks lang naman ako lumalabas. Lahat ng to ginagawa ko para kahit paano hindi ko ma feel na deprived ako.

Saan ba ko dadalhin ng lahat ng ito?

When I was younger, I had grand dreams for myself. I remember I used to want something grand. Achieve great feat, then prove myself to the world. Ngayon, I just want to live an easy life. Yung malaya ako sa oras ko. Yung may pera ako para sa mga gusto at pangangailangan ko. Yung hindi ako marerestraint ng kakulangan ng pera at oras. Ganun.

Hindi noble na dream. Pero parang yun kasi yung gusto ko. 13 years of corporate slavery. Siguro lahat naman ng empleyado may point sa buhay nila na gusto nilang lumaya. Ako every single day, I dream of breaking free from this. Yet the thought of losing job is still very scary. Kaya siguro ganito yung nararamdaman ko. I guess it's natural to hate the things that bring you fear, no?

Ano kayang gagawin ko?


03:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く


* * * *

土曜日. July 10, 2021

Kero kero

It is said that Sasuke is the most handsome dude in Konoha. Can't help but doubt that when Naruto is looking so fine in his Sennin mode. Orang eye shadow and all. That's whole different level than Sasuke. Yiiiii!

211th episode of shippuuden. I guess an anime/krama series can't be too long if it's this good, no? Ampogi kaya ni Naruto. I also love Shino, Shikamaru, and Gaara. Excited na ko sa shinobi war. With the effect of coffee ice cream kicking in, I can watch until my phone's battery run out, if only my eyes allow. Yun nga lang, I have work tomorrow. 

--------

Tita told me that my cousin, her son, wants me to be the ninang of his child. All good naman. Pumayag ako. Nakakainis lang na pinipilit ako ni Tita to physically attend, when I already told her that I'm not yet vaccinated, neither are anyone from our household. Nakakainis that she was able to convince Dad, and Dad promise he'll have Tito to send us there using his car.

Naiinis ako. I hate it when people decide on my behalf. Naiinis din ako how Tita kept insisting na pumunta ako, when I already said 'no', and with legitimate reason at that. Nakakainis. I'm feeling disrespected whenever people closest to me do things of this sort. Parang emotional blackmail. Nakakaiinis.

I'm not going. Oh, watch me. 

I've always been seeking freedom. You know that, right? Lahat ng pangarap at aspirations ko sa buhay, yun naman talaga ang ultimate goal. Freedom. Nanggagalaiti talaga ko when people try to control me, or force things on me. Grrrrrr.

Alam mo ba, when we were younger, bff had always sought peace. I think it's a nobel thing to seek. Di katulad ng hinahanap ko... yung freedom. Parang ang selfish lang kasi. But this is what my heart screams for.

Know what, bff and I are so different. She's dedicated and reliable. Ako naman, lazy and indulgent. She's always been the cooler one between the two of us. Though I think highly of my bff, I kinda like myself this way. 

So I guess the question that I need to answer now is how I'm gonna turn my weaknesses into strengths, since I don't really hate my weaknesses at all.


01:42 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く


* * * *

土曜日. July 3, 2021

Repeat

Waited until 11PM for the delivery team. Waley. Wala parin akong pc for work. As long as the company will pay me still, keri boom boom.

There is a swollen mass on my armpit. Like a mini volcano of puss erupting. It has been tormenting me for days. Sana nga wag nalang muna dumating ang pc ko. My arm movement is limited because of the pain and discomfort. Wala na kong leave. Sana madeliver nalang pag okay na kilikili ko.

-------

Nagsusuka na naman yung isa sa pusa ko at ayaw kumain. Nakakapag alala. Sunday bukas, not sure if may vet. Yung kilikili ko pa. Tokwa. Bahala na. I sometimes wish I have a car so I can easily bring my cats to the vet. Kaso di nga pala ako marunong mag drive. There is this car on display sa sm. Suzuki S-presso na kulay orange. Sobrang naku cutean ako sa kanya. Manual daw to. Sabi nila mas madali daw mag drive ng automatic. May automatic bang orange na S-presso?

Syempre di naman ako bibili. Di rin naman kasi practical. Wala kaming garahe. Parang natatakot din ako mag drive. Sarap lang isama sa daydream. Mehehe.

Someday. Soon. Lahat ng bagay na gusto ko, makukuha ko. Sana.


11:18 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く


* * * *

土曜日. June 26, 2021

Btw

Saturday and I'm back to work.

I hate how I feel about it. I mean, I've got a good job that pays me well. The job itself is not so bad. Hindi ko alam kung anong iniinarte ko. Bahala na.

Gusto ko nang yumaman. Mayaman enough to never work anymore.

-----

Kulit ng panaginip ko kanina. Nasa school ako. May exam daw. Math. Keber daw sakin kahit late dahil magaling naman ako sa Math. Promise, hindi ako ganun ka arogante nung nag aaral pa ko. Hindi ko na natapos yung test, nagising na ko.

Tingin ko, math lang yung  bagay na kaya kong pag trabahuhan nang hindi iniinda ang hirap. Nung bata pa ko, akala ko gusto kong magsulat. Pero twing nagsusulat ako, dama kong pinipilit ko lang angbsarili ko. Hindi ganun pag math e. Siguro magugustuhan ko rin ang chemistry. Hindi lang kasi kami nagkaroon ng pagkakataong magkakilala ng lubusan. Distracted ako sa cocc nung hs, nung college naman, walang kagana gana yung teacher ko dun.

Kung yumaman nga ako to the point na di ko na kailangan magtrabaho, anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko?

Gusto ko matry mag work sa hotel. Kahit yung sa reception lang, or taga serve ng food sa dining area, ganun. Lol, anlabo talaga ng mga trip ko sa buhay.

-------

Ang haba ng Naruto. Season 8 na ko. Mukhang di kompleto yung nasa Netflix. I already found the rest elsewhere. Pati mga movies. Iniisip ko pa if panonoorin ko yung boruto. Dun ata madededs si naruto. Huhu. Sana fake news lang.

Grabe ang tibay ng gumawa ng series at manga na to, no? Great job, though.

-------

Ano bang gagawin ko sa buhay ko? I need this job. I need money. I don't think I'll ever find another company who will pay me this much. Hindi native level ang Japanese ko at wala ring background sa IT. Sinwerte lang talaga, di ba?

Alam ko namang malaking blessings to for me. I'm truly grateful. Naiinis din ako na nararamdaman ko to.

Tokwa. Help me, Universe. Penging passive income na 2 million pesos per month, please!

-------

May sakit na naman ang isa sa mga cats ko. Bringing her to the vet today after my shift. Wala kasi yung vet kahapon. Private vet to dahil maaga ang public vet. Di na kami aabot. Wala pala akong pera. Mehehehe. I rarely keep cash. Nanghihinayang ako mag withdraw from gsave. Sayang interest. Sana sapat na ang 500.

Sana ok lang ang pusa ko. I don't really trust private vets. They all seem to be after the money instead of the animal's welfare. Kainis. I wish I can send my Iya to the city vet. They have better facilities there.

Mag aral nalang kaya ako mag vet? There will be no safer hands for my cats than mine, di ba? 


07:02 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く


* * * *

土曜日. June 19, 2021

Tuck Forever after

Been having thoughts about death and stuff. I remember an old book I had. Tuck Everlasting. I don't remember everything from the book, only the part where the girl gave her elixir to a toad to save it forever, thinking that she could anytime get another elixir from the fountain. The elixir was from a boy. He and his family own the fountain, and they all became immortal after drinking the water from it. The boy gave that bottle of elixir to the girl. She's supposed to drink it once she's 17. They promised to meet again. Kamalasan, after nyang ibigay sa toad, tinamaan ng kidlat yung fountain the following day. When the boy came to see her again, ayun, deds na sya from old age.

Walang kinalaman sa moral lesson ng story. Naisip ko lang yung toad. I wonder if it's wise to make your pets immortal. Like, pano kung ma stuck sya sa meat grinder? He'd stay there in pain for all eternity without dying.

Naisip ko tuloy... we were all programmed to fear death. But if you look closely, maybe it's just nature's way of expressing it's kindness to those who suffer.

Tas naisip ko yung religion. Tas naisip ko rin, why do we badly want heaven to be real. Or reincarnation. I mean, can't one life be enough? If death happens to be the end itself, then, what's the big deal? Do we really need more lives?

Ewan ko. Religion makes me feel like I'm sinning whenever I question things. If God is really good, will He throw me to the fires of hell just because I asked for some clarifications?

Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko talaga alam.

---------

Watching Naruto. The subtitles suck. Lol, I need to rely on my Japanese skills most of the time. Average Shonen anime, pero nakakahook parin. Sexist pa. I hate how the author made Sakura and Ino lame heroines. Uraraka of My Hero Academia may not be as good as the main heroes of the anime, pero hindi siya katulad ni Sakura who just sit there getting rescued. I mean, look at Froppy, a female frog hero, pero she's rocking it. Kainis tong Naruto na to. Pero pinapanood ko pa rin. Lol. 

9 seasons. Nasa season 3 palang ako. Sana kumpleto itong nasa Netflix. Sad lang I can't watch it while avail at work, because I'm on VPN.

Pag natupad ko yung pangarap ko na maging mayaman enough to not work at all, ano kayang mangyayari sa buhay ko no? Uubusin ko pa rin kaya yung oras ko araw araw sa netflix?

I remember my theory on how I ended up not eating cheese cake anymore. Naniniwala ako na my body will find a way to kick me out of slumber after some time. Mehehe.

Kaya siguro drawn ako kay Shikamaru. Aliw na aliw ako sa character nya. Sobrang tamad. Lol. Still a genius through and through.

It frustrates me though. The kanji in Gaara's forehead means love. The kanji written in one of the sound village's genin means death. The kanji in 4th Hokage's hat means fire. I'm pretty sure all the other kanji in there were from basic n5 level. Hindi ko mabasa lahat. Kung alam ko lang na kakailanganin ko to ng ganito sana pala nag-aral ako ng maayos noon. I mean, these are kanjis you wouldn't learn from work, you know.


07:59 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く


* * * *

土曜日. June 12, 2021

Deku

Matatapos ko na yung 5 seasons ng My Hero Academia, di pa rin nadedeliver PC ko for work. I remember they once delivered before, oround 12 MN na. Still waiting. Makaka work na kaya ako bukas?

2 eps left. Bitin to for sure. Dapat talaga completed series lang ang pinapanood. It can be frustrating otherwise. This anime is good. The main character, Midoriya, reminds me of Gon ng Hunter X Hunter. 

I remember Injan and I were huge fans of HXH. I loved Killua, sya naman, so Hisuka ang bet. I'm pretty sure she'll like MHA too. I wonder kung sino sa mga characters ang bet nya. Mine is Kirishima. Todoroki too. I doubt if Injan can still watch anime these days though. 

Dapat around December nalang ako nanood neto. Now I have to wait weekly for new eps.

---‐----

Gusto kong makahanap ng bagay na gusto kong gawin. Something I'd be willing to work really hard for, and actually enjoy the process, hardships included.

Anime side-effect ba to? Tokwa.


08:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く


* * * *

土曜日. June 5, 2021

PBG

Saiki k live action was so bad even with Kento Yamazaki in it. Di ko na tinapos. Tried to watch Penthouse, pero masyadong masakit sa dibdib, so I watched Love In Moonlight instead. Natapos ko today, so I started watching Encounter. 

Walang hiya, ang adorable ni Park Bo Gum. Lumiliwag ang mundo ko pag nakikita ko sya. Bakit kaya may mga tao na yung looks e iisipin mong favorite siguro sila ni God, no? Lol.

Sa totoo lang, ang boring ng Encounter. Pero para sa ngiti ni Park Bo Gum, pinapanood ko parin. 

------

Hindi ako nakapag work today. Sira PC. Need daw replace sabi ng IT. Nagrequest na ko to have it delivered sa bahay. Baka bukas pa ng hapon yun. Ang saya. Extended ang weekends ko tas with pay pa! Salamat, Universe!

------

Alam mo, dama kong magaganda ang panaginip ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. Pero hindi ko naman talaga maalala.

Feeling ko, magiging maganda ang month of June ko.

...

...

...

...Or baka side effect lang to sa kakatitig ko kay Park Bo Gum. >.<


09:58 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く


* * * *
« Newer · »

私について

私の名前はZです。


ナビゲート

ホーム
アーカイブ
プロファイル
ギャラリー
お友達
Friendsof
お気に入り

メッセージボード



クレジット

レイアウト || zaia
画像1 || R A V E
画像2 || ruffled
パターン || hongkiat
ブロッグホスト || Tabulas
コンテンツ|| zaia


***

Google Analytics Alternative

http://www.hitwebcounter.com/
Counter For Wordpress


adopt your own virtual pet!
online
Online Casinos