Entries in category "土曜日"
2AM and I'm watching Japanese bento reels on IG.
Man, I'm hungry. I miss Japan's tamagoyaki. May itlog din naman dito sa Pilipinas, pero ba't di ganun yung lasa? At yung gulay gulay na hinahalo nila as side dish, takte, ba't ang sarap? Yung talong, radish at kahit carrots, manamisnamis. I stayed there for for 11 days on my trip there last May, pero there was never a day na nagkaron ako ng allergies. Funny, because I always get allergies everyday. Ano bang siktreto ng mga pagkain sa Japan? Ah, miss ko na rin yung inari sushi. I miss Japan so much.
02:09 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
We'll be going to Cebu in 4 days. All 7 of us including my brother and his family of 4. This is the first time for my neice and nephew to board an airplane. Ngayon lang rin kami makakapunta ng sama sama sa airport. I, too, am looking forward to this trip.
But I still haven't packed our stuff. Tamad na tamad akong mag empake. I've been to Cebu before. Plus, our itinerary is designed for kids. Though I'd like to be with the kids, I'm not really looking forward sa place itself, and sa mga pupuntahan namin. Sa totoo lang, I wish we can go somewhere abroad. My brother still can't afford it. Siguro afford kong dalhil kaming lahat sa mga cheaper countries, like maybe, Vietnam, or even Hong Kong. But I can't do that without incurring big damage to my bank account.
I'm planning to bring my parents to Japan next year. I need show money to get their visa. I should've applied for their visa together with mine back when I still have money to show. Japan's really expensive. I feel like it should be cheaper than Singapore, pero hindi ko alam why my credit card bills were telling me otherwise, when I got from my trip last May.
Speaking of, I miss Japan. It takes so much restraint not to book a flight since hindi pa nakakarecover ang bank account ko from our previous travels. Gusto ko nang yumaman.
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I'm feeling a little better regarding work. Nakakapagod parin. Gusto ko pa rin yumaman. Gusto ko parin tumakas. I feel like I've been spending my life thinking of wanting to escape my situation. Just thinking. Never actually doing anything about it.
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Sabi sa BL na binabasa ko kanina, nung dinescribe yung unrequited love, parang nauuhaw ka, at nasa harap mo yung baso ng tubig, pero pinipigilan mo yung sarili mong inumin yung tubig. Eventually daw, magugulat ka nalang, natuyo na yung laman ng baso.
Parang love life ko. All dried up. Lol. It's been a really long time since I last liked someone. I did revive my dating profile, pero yung isang kausap ko, mag iisang linggo ko nang di narereplyan.
I feel like BL had messed up my feelings towards men. Parang mas kikiligin pa ko kung sila sila yung naghaharutan.
Urg. Ewan. Do I need a therapy?
06:28 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Pasado alas dose ng gabi.
I'm worried about my cat because she's sick. Worse is that she got sick because of me. I raised 2 of my cats since they were a few days old. They're practically my children. Parang hindi ko kaya if something bad were to happen to them. Oh God...
Kababalik ko lang from my HK trip. Walang buwelo buwelo, full blast agad ang dami ng trabaho. Ni hindi ko nagamit yung breaks ko kanina, at napaOT pa ko ng 15 minutes.
Kahapon, bumisita ang mga clients. Naatasan akong magbigay ng flower sa isa sa mga Japanese guests. Sabi ko, mas ok na sakin na hindi ko magamit sa JP skills ko so long as same parin ng sweldo. Pero in a way, may onting frustration sa side ko.
Nung nasa HK kami, I feel like wanting so learn Chinese so bad. Pero naisip ko, siguro, dapat mag focus muna ako sa Japanese.
Para sa akin, expectations are more of a gift, than a reason to feel pressured. Nakakalungkot din pag walang ineexpect ang mga tao sayo. Pero pag iniisip ko na this work is hard enough as is, tas mag ninihongo pa ko, parang okay na rin na wala silang inaasahan sakin.
Sa ngayon, gusto kong mag focus sa SAP. Pag na gets ko to, to an acceptable level, ie-aim ko naman ang N2.
Rest day ko tomorrow. Technically today. Ang daming gagawin. Sana maging okay na ang pusa ko.
Bad trip din ako kasi nandito parin yung allergies ko. They only stop popping up twing on meds ako. Pero hindi naman kasi healthy na laging on meds. Dad said I should start eating pork. Ew. 4 years being a pescetarian and I feel like eating pork is not much different from eating kittens or puppies, or even my own cats! Hindi kaya. Seriously. Siguro kakain lang ako ulet ng pork pag nasa dystopia na tayo. Sana naman hindi mangyari yun sa buong life time ko.
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Ang sweet ng boss ko. Nanlibre sya ng BK. Nabanggit ng supervisor ko na hindi ako kumakain ng meat, so he bought me plant-based na burger. Alam kong maliit na bagay, pero na touch parin ako.
Ugh! Pagod ako sa work, but it's not really so bad. Siguro kung inayos ko ang training ko sa P2P at di ako palaging late, hindi siguro ako nangangamote ngayon. I'll spend some of my time to study p2p tomorrow. Ayoko na mangamote sa work. It's super stressful.
May training daw ako ng o2c. I'll do better this time. Sana magkaron din ako ng chance to learn SAP HR from Said. They'll be leaving by December. Sana talaga may chance pa.
Pag magaling na ko sa work, siguro, hindi na ko maiistress. Sana.
01:12 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Took a day off on Saturday for a dental visit. Considering that it's 12:16AM now, that's technically today. I'm also going to meet some relatives. Tito, who works in Middle East, just came back for a quick visit. Mom said they recommended Tito to treat us in Dampa. It's a seafood restaurant near our place that I've long been wanting to go to. That's actually the sole reason why I've decided to join. Sa totoo lang, I'm not thrilled to see Tito.
It's not like he's a bad uncle or anything. It's just that, he's like this typical aged relative who often choose to criticize their pamangkins whenever they can't find any topic to talk about. Well, he can't criticize my intellect, financial and career status, or anything similar, so he always go for my looks— my face, my make-up, my weight, my clothes, whatever, it's really annoying!
If we're not eating in Dampa, I really don't want to go. I'd rather have an extra day to read BL.
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I booked a place to stay for the Feastcon next month. I haven't even bought tickets yet. Lol. Yang and I will be getting premium tickets this year. I plan to treat my parents to a day tour in Okada the day before the event. The place I booked can fit 4 people, so we can all sleepover after the tour. If Mom will manage to find someone to take care of my cats, they can stay with me for 3 nights as I stay there for the event. The place is near MOA, so pwede silang mamasyal while I'm at the conference.
I do miss going out. Pero pag naiisip ko yung hellish commute, parang gusto ko nalang mag stay sa bahay.
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Reading Lost In The Clouds. Not fluffy as any usual BL. Meron syang Llewellyn vive, interesting yung plot. It's still ongoing though, so I'm preparing myself na mabitin.
Gusto ko rin gumawa ng story na may ingenious plot. I always try to start with the ending. Pero 1st step palang, literal na sumasakit na ang ulo ko. Parang nakakahinayang umeffort, only to use my work as a contest entry na 18k lang ang price for champion. Lel. Gusto kong gumawa ng manga, and actually earn. Kaya ko bang mag drawing?
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37 na ko. I remember writing an entry as a 24-year-old back in the day. Wow, 13 years!
Nakakatakot magplano ng buhay at this age. Ang dami kasing mga bagay na meron ako ngayon, tapos posibleng wala na pala in the near future. Siguro ganun din naman kahit nung mas bata pa ko. It's more likely to happen now though.
I was once a poor 24 year old who was looking forward to the future, and was full of enthusiasm. Ngayon, isa na kong 37 year old na laging pagod at tinatamad sa buhay, letting the days pass me by. I don't think this time of my life is bad. Siguro nasa point lang ako ng buhay na parang wala na akong mga bagay na gusto kong patunayan. Just taking things in as they come. It's really all good. But of course, I know it could be better.
Sa ngayon, saka ko na muna siguro iisipin yung iba. Gagawa muna ako ng mga isasali ko sa contest next year. As always, gusto kong manalo.
12:52 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I asked TL to allow me to go on half day VL today to meet my friends. He agreed. Pero ayun, hindi rin natuloy.
My cat is very sick. He can't even walk. Since I'm wearing facemask, I allowed myself to cry while waiting for the vet, confident that no one will notice. When the vet came to asked what happened, my voice cracked, but at least, there were no tears.
Agh, I'm tired. I'm just glad I have the money to at least provide for my cats' medical needs. I wish they will never get sick again ever, as this is really emotionally painful and exhausting.
I still came here at work. An escalation welcomed me. Masamang magbintang, pero alam kong galing to kay Robert. I'm too fed-up to think about retaliating, or to at least even defend myself. Mukhang di naman sya pinaniniwalaan ni TL, pero kahit ganun, naiirita pa rin ako. Napapagod akong makipag-away. Nakakapagod mag explain.
Sana gumaling na yung pusa ko. Sana masurvive nya to. Sana ma extend and contract ng account namin. Oh God, I'll be in so much trouble if I lose this job. I'm tired. I'm scared. Universe, please.
I like that vet. I found his presence reassuring. I stopped feeling like crying when I found that he's today's vet. I think I also like him romantically, but maybe I'm just lonely. LOL.
Jeez, I'm still feeling down despite this imagined love life.
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I just got a text from my mom. My cat, Goldie, is gone..
The rain was bad. I feel like the Heavens was crying on my behalf.
02:57 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Back to work, alright.
Yesterday, my whole body hurt, I found it hard to get up from the bed. Grabe yung massage dun sa spa. Mapanakit. Still want to go back there though. Officemate and I are planning to go back, maybe by the end of next month. I loved the jacuzzi and herbal bath.
Convo with friends revolved mostly about love, trauma, and undergarments. It was really funny, I had a good laugh. I'm glad we went there.
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I still can't seem to shake this dissatisfaction. I want to do something about it.
Spent the day yesterday reading BL and playing with neice and nephew. I need to tone down my spending as Mel and I are planning to push through with the Korean trip by November. Of course, I'll be bringing my parents along. Of course, I'm going to pay. I need to save. Big time.
10:33 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Waiting for news regarding the building transfer tomorrow. 11PM, there's still no news.
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Heard that Ms. Ayen passed away. This came as a shock.
A lot of things happening...
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I fully get it. Now I can't sleep. Dang.
11:12 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Leave office at 6. Get home by 8. dinner and evening rituals for 2 hours and around 10pm, I'll be in bed, with the alarm set at 5AM.
But this closet fujoshi cannot possibly end the day without having her daily dose of BL. I read 5-6 chapters before I sleep. I always lack sleep, but that's fine.
Life's pretty simple these days. It's not bad. It's not the best, but not bad.
Work is easy. Officemates are nice. Pay is good. Not bad.
Still, there is that "okay, ano na" feeling.
Okay. Ano na?
10:10 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Received a favorable response on the complaint concern I've raised regarding the chat QA at the office. I've been raising a lot of "concerns" lately. I hope this will not get me into trouble.
Nephew's birthday on 22nd. The celebration will be in Cavite. The plan was to stay at a resort near my brother's in-law's house. There are also plans to go sightseeing. Might take 2 days. I already said I'm not going as I can't really leave my cats. I need a yaya for my cat. I really wish to go. T_T
RTO is fast approaching. Nakakatamad. I've started having trouble sleeping kakaisip na magbabyahe na naman ako pabalik sa office. I'm thinking the commute will be so much easier and faster if only I have a car. I cant drive though.
Sighs. Ewan. Gusto kong maging tipo ng tao na chill lang even when things don't go my way. I hate this frustrated feeling. Grrgg!
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Tried watching romcom kdrama again. Having exposed in BL, parang ang korni korni na ng usual love stories. Hindi ko na natapos.
I watched Sk8 The Infinity. Though technically not a BL, I love to bromance. There are only 12 episodes though. I wish there's more. Can't get enough of Reki and Langa. They're so cute. Can't find a manga of this though. Sayang.
Oh, wait. Gotta work.
08:26 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
