Entries in category "Saturday"

Mga kumpisal
Saturday: July 22, 2017

Chatting with my girl friends and i found it amusing how we have the same opinion about the men present in our common circle right now.

You see, i never had a sister. That's why i love having girl friends around. They are the sisters i never had.


So LA and I had a mini food stop after the meeting.

Kwentuhan. Chika chika. Etcetera.

Then she mentioned a dude that she noticed earlier sa meeting.

"Ay, napansin ko rin yun," i said.

When she said "shucks" thought she meant, "shucks, parehas tayo ng taste," until she followed,

"Type mo? Naku baka bading."

Ay, grabe sya...

Laugh trip.


A friend was depressed a few days back so i was surprised to find out that she had completely bounced back na. All because she received a pm from some dude she's been eyeing for some time.

I know. I'm the same. I'm a woman too.

I, too, was a little bit depressed earlier until this message came. Minsan naiinis ako sa kung pano mo ko napapasaya.

I find men's effect on women both fascinating and infuriating. Nakaka amaze na isang simpleng message from a guy na special sayo e kayang i-turn ang super low days mo around and make u all bouncy. Infuriating din, kasi nakakainis na may taong may ganung power over you di ba?

I just retreated from a battle and im still wounded. I know it's not wise to get back fighting when you're not yet on your best self. At alam ko rin na hindi reliable ang nararamdaman ng mga taong fresh pa ang sugat. Siguro, chill muna.

Hindi naman ako dating ganito, pero parang ngayon, takot na ko.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:44 PM.

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So yeah...
Saturday: July 22, 2017

And i sabotaged once gain my own love life.

Thank you very much.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:29 PM.

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Mga munting katotohanan na hindi mo sinasabi
Saturday: July 22, 2017

Club contest over. Hindi ako nanalo, na disqualified pa ko. Overtime.

Ok lang naman. Nakakatawa lang na sasali rin pala ang mentee ko sa isa pang category tas sya rin na overtime.

Ayoko talaga ng natatalo pero this time, ok lang talaga. Nalulungkot lang ako na hindi ako magkakaroon ng excuse para makasama ka.

Pero kahit yun, ok na rin talaga. Pero syempre, gusto pa rin talaga kitang kasama.


Alam mo ba yung hunch? Yung madalas tinatawag nateng "kutob". Common yun sa nga babae including me. I remember back in the day when cellphones weren't a thing yet, i would always know if bff was visiting our house because of this hunch. Same goes if it's nephil or anyone i have strong connections to.

This hunch also makes me foresee the outcome of things. I remember very well the times when i thought i won't get something i badly wanted and i felt this pull in my gut then ended up getting that thing despite the apparent impossibility.

There is also that other kind of pull where I'd get the opposite. I don't remember this ever failing.

Just a few hours ago, i felt a pull. A pull i recognized as that of defeat and i have a bad feeling about this.

Has anyone felt something like this before? If you're able to fight the hunch and get the opposite of what it's telling you, please, please, let me know.


Then i watched the other boy slipping away.

There i was pretending i don't really care.

I hate lying. If you lie in your actions, then that's still a lie. I wish i have the courage to act the truth out though.

I already told the Heavens that i don't want to lose you.

Kaya sige, bahala na.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:10 AM.

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Saturday: July 15, 2017

The 1st day of my bakasyon grande just ended. My body chemicals are probably messing up with my moods once again and i feel like a volcano ready to erupt at the slightest provocation.

You're better than that, z.

A lot of things upset me lately, and really, sometimes the things that affect you the most, you find hard to talk about.


Took a half-day leave yesterday and a whole day leave today. Monday's a j-holiday so that's 4.5 days of freedom. I want to plan. Rebuild and redesign my life, myself, and then create something so much better.

I spent my half day leave in taguig yesterday to buy products for business. Will be meeting tita once again by Sunday and hopefully a few more potential customers.

Since i was going to pass market market anyway, i decided to walk around a bit. Market market is the worst place go when you're on diet. But hey, i managed to get out of there without eating anything nakakataba.

5 days on diet and i can now slip off my pants without undoing the zipper and button. Applied the same pattern i used 5 years back and it seems like it's just as effective. If i manage to do this for another week, i plan to switch to a healtier version of this by the following week. I wonder if this is the cause of my volcanic attitude lately.


Spent the day today cleaning my room. Not yet done with it so Saturday will probably be another cleaning day. I also plan to fix my body clock by going to bed at 9 and waking up at 4, securing a 7-hours sleep. It's 12:21am now, so as you can see, I'm failing miserably on this. I did go to bed at 9 though. I intend to wake up at 4am still. Hopefully later tonight, magawa ko na matulog ng 9.

Might be meeting my cousins on Sunday, tita bebeng's daughters. They are artista level beautiful ladies. We're not really close but they are super nice bunch so hopefully maging madali for me to set the friendly, sisterly vibe since ako yung ate. Hindi kasi pwedeng ako yung awkward di ba? Jeez.. Naiistress ako.

Eversince naman mejo socially awkward talaga ko. But my parents taught me to be polite and i think it's impolite to meet people and just sit there not talking. You have no idea how this is so much of a torture for me though. Pero usually sa una lang naman ganun. Besides, the times that i tried to combat my social awkwarness turned out okay naman 100% of the time, so laban lang!


12:56 am. Can someone teach me how to sleep?

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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:52 AM.


The hippie
Saturday: July 8, 2017

I wonder if it's really that bad. My usual get up.

Mind you, i was just wearing a collared blouse over a top.  : (

BTW, this came from a married dude who, at 9:43pm, is chatting with another woman (me) telling her how she stikes as a deeper person, "someone who has depth but decided to try to keep it easy".

Praning lang ba ko or nakikipag landian ba saken tong taong to??



Ok, hindi naman siguro...

Relax, z...

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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:21 PM.

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Love yourself day and other thoughts
Saturday: July 8, 2017

Saturday. It's been a while since i had the time home with nothing to do, though not really. Im feeling lazy, so when mom said she's inviting our manicurista over to have our nails done, i willingly obliged.

Red and blue in matte. I once saw someone in matte painted nails and it was in no way glamorous. I was just curious coz i havent tried matte so i chose it anyway. Surprisingly, it turned out nice. Mukha nga lang philippine flag because of the color. Lels.

2012 was probably my most payat days ever since i left my teenage years. I would like to recreate the results i got then through the same pattern. What worked then may not work now but i am a believer of patterns. i guess it wouldn't hurt to try. 

I also want to be a little girly, or at least more like woman. Maybe i can drop my usual off-to-hiking look and try something more feminine. Maybe id grow my nails longer. Do something about my hair, then diet, then exercise. As to what i want to get out of this, im not so sure.

Maybe i just want to prove to myself that i can and also im little bored. I guess i just want to take this time to prepare for the next battle. Maybe in a few months or so. This time, I want to choose something right. Something worth keeping. Seduction is a game that requires time, talent and energy. Talent, i can expend since it's the type of resources that gets better with use. But time and energy is a whole different story.


Puteeeek. Bat ba ang nerd ko?

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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:17 PM.

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Bagay bagay at 12:56 ng madaling araw
Saturday: July 8, 2017

Nakasabay ko si tintin sa bus kanina. Classmate ko nung highschool. Nagkakwentuhan hindi tuloy ako nakapagtext sa bahay nung malapit na ko. I texted sa may kanto na. I was so scared to walk i taught of waiting there kaso may pinatay na dati dun. So i proceeded walking kaso marami na na holdap at ni rape dun. Pak this.

Then i saw a huge ball of light from Dad's flashlight. I feel so sorry he had to run para masundo kagad ako. He's old and sickly and cant even walk straight anymore. I'm sorry, Dad... Huhu.

I can't imagine how it would be if my parents are not as they are. Puteeeek, kakatakot pala maglakad mag-isa sa dilim. And Dad has been doing that every single day para ihatid at sunduin kami ng kapatid ko.

Just a day to go. Advance Happy Birthday, tatay.


Nalulungkot ako. Hindi ko alam kung dahil mukhang hindi ka na naman natutuwa sa mga kaganapan or siguro dahil hindi na kita nakakasama. Hindi ka naman exactly cold pero parang may kakaiba. Siguro pagod ka lang... Or baka naninibago lang rin ako/tayo kasi bago lang tayo dito.

Hindi dapat ginagawa ng mga bagay ng halfhearted, z.

Yung tipong when u love, may exit plan ka kagad kung pano mag move on in case hindi mag work.

Or ung when u decide to move on,  naka ready ka rin mag jump back kung biglang parang may pag-asa pa. Wag ganun.

Worse, wala naman nagsabing may pag-asa pa.

Again, wag ganun.


But then maybe we can move on in our own pace ng hindi pinipilit ang sarili.


I admit i am fond of the boy. Lalo na nga at nalaman ko na mabait at sweet din tong batang to pero seryoso naman ako nung sinabi ko na hands off ako e.

Kaya lang kanina when i was with LA and i told jay about the boy. I was just being animated. Charot lang naman talaga yung mga sinasabi ko e. Kaso sabi ni jay, "ambisyosa" jokingly.

Dont get me wrong, i love jay. She cant possibly offend me with that simple joke even if it's half meant. Its just that, words like that induce some reaction in me. It's when i am told i cant that i want to prove them wrong all the more.

So u think i cant do it? Oh, watch me...


Ay, wait... Wag nalang pala. Haha!

Hay z... Walang kadala dala?

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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:39 AM.

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The Answer
Saturday: July 1, 2017

Yesterday night, we were walking our way to where Bea's car was parked. That was when LA had the idea. We've always had the best person to ask all along yet this was the only time that we had the chance. 

We got the answer. Speculations were confirmed and I went home feeling like I've swallowed shards of broken glasses. I can feel the spikes piercing. Ang hirap huminga. 

Pero okay lang. At least alam ko na. 


1St meeting in our new venue yesterday. Lakas ng ulan, buwis buhay levels. Huminto pa operations ng LRT habang bumabaha so hindi ako makapag Jeep. Nastuck sa traffic sila Andre. Then I had to push through with the meeting on time kahit lilima lang yung Tao. Then gabby and Ivan weren't able to make it. Then we ended the meeting without being able to fill the required consumable. 

Mejo haggard, parang bigla kong namiss yung CaliBurger. But in the end, naging maayos naman lahat. 

The  boy who just signed up approached LA and I. Kami daw yung pinagpipilian nyang gawing mentor. In the end, the boy chose me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nya ko pinili, but I feel both flattered and frightened about this. Still, sana magawa ko yung role ng maayos.

This was the same boy that we thought to be cute last meeting. Yung malambot ang kamay  (and yung arms, matigas----eeee! Landeee! Hahahaha!) dude.

But he's going to be my mentee now so dapat hands off. Hahaha. We're not so sure if he's straight though. Pero saken, hindi naman yun issue. Natawa lang ako when LA said something like, "ganyan talaga magnet mo no?"


Wasn't able to do anything productive today because of this skull cracking headache. Got home about 2am and i also drunk a little. Konti lang naman. Still, that's probably the cause of headache. Nakakatamad pumasok sa lunes. 


Naiinis ako.

Hindi ko kasi maintindihan kung san nanggagaling ang pagiging yelo mo. Posible naman na guniguni ko lang pero weird kasi e. Hindi ka naman ganyan e. Ewan ko. Mejo nakakapikon. 

Well, ayun lang naman.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:23 PM.

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So long, Cali
Saturday: June 17, 2017

A lot of things going on. Should be meeting gabby, but it seems like our sched is not going to allow us to.

Yesterday was our last meeting at CaliBurger, a place that served as another home for me since i joined Toastmasters 1 and a half years ago. Nakakalungkot. Pero naisip ko naman kasi na as long as kasama ko parin yung mga taong mahalaga saken sa club, then it's ok.

But then i realized, baka maging deal breaker na naman saken ang venue... Pero sige, saka na siguro dapat mamroblema. Let's hope for the best. Please help us, Universe.


Hitched a ride with bea together with LA yesterday. I love these girls. I hate how the ride was so short we weren't able to finish the kwento. Nakakatawa lang, there was this new boy kasi who just signed up to become a member. All of us agreed that he's such a cutie pie. I had stitches when this convo took place.

B: cute sya no. At ang ganda ng boses. Mukha syang rich kid.

Z: uu, baka nga rich kid. Lambot ng kamay e.

L: grabe ako nakausap ko palang, ikaw nahawakan mo na kamay?

Z: lol!

Sana maging okay ang lahat about the venue. Ayoko talaga malayo sa mga taong to.

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Written by cinderellaareus at 06:07 PM.

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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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my name is z




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