Entries in category "Saturday"


Saturday. April 7, 2018

Patatas

Mom bought me a swivel chair from a junk shop a few days back. After having it cleaned, they put it inside my room. I hate seeing my miniscule room this crammed up, but I really love how comfy the chair is so i cant really get rid of it. Besides, Mom bought it for me.

Today, i spent most of my day sitting on the said chair yawning. A real patatas through and through.

Because of the drinking shesh with the girls plus gabby and ivan fri night that lasted until 2am, it was almost 4 when i got home and was able to sleep past 5. By 9am, the sun was all up and it's too bright so i wasn't able to sleep any longer. Feeling ko umandar lang ang araw ko today nang half asleep ako.

It's Lola's birthday today. She just turned 92. She changed so much from the last time that i remember her. She just lives next to us, but it's been a long while since i last visited her. She doesn't seem to recognize me and my brother. I'm not even sure if she can still speak at all. I wonder how people as old as Lola feels. Dumadating din siguro sa tao yung point na they're too old to even feel no? Well, i dont know.

Sana kung umabot man ako sa twilight days ko, sana by then, nakapag ipon na ko ng magagandang memories na pwede kong balikan. At siguro maraming pera na rin to live decently. Sana by then hindi ako nag-iisa. Jeez, feeling ko kailangan ko nga talaga mag-asawa.

--------

Will be meeting people from the club again tomorrow. Probably my last execom. I wonder how it would be like to be an ordinary member. Sana hindi masyadong nakakalungkot ang mga changes. Sana magkaron din ako ng courage and sipag to use the extra time i have to work on my goals and dreams. Sa totoo lang, minsan feeling ko hindi naman fear ang kalaban ko kundi laziness.

Parang ngayon,

Inaantok na ko, pero tinatamad akong matulog.

Very good.


Written by cinderellaareus at 10:44 PM.

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Saturday. April 7, 2018

No to "ok lang"

I was feeling so bad yesterday that i visited the chap twice and lighted 4 candles.

Everytime i ask something from the Heavens, I often say "ok lang po kung hindi mo ibigay, basta..." Kahit na most of the time, hindi naman talaga ok. Siguro may part saken na ayaw pangunahan ang Langit, but I think maybe the Father would rather have my honesty.

Lord, hindi po ok kung mawawala sya saken at mapupunta sya sa iba, so please don't make it happen.

There. Said it.

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TM night yesterday. I was hoping to have a drink with the girls to at least flush off the bad feelings. Good thing, i didn't have to ask because bea invited and said it's her treat. We drank and ate at Nommu and Doc Trina was even with us. Nakakatuwa. I love these people.

The only thing that makes me sad about not being an officer anymore is that i wont be able to have an excuse to hang out with them, but then maybe that doesn't have to happen because I'm still a member and they're still my friends. Di ba? I think I'm starting to find that relieved feeling i was hoping to feel before.

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"Z**, hindi nga, may gusto sayo si ***"

"Pano pag ligawan ka ni ***, Z?"

The boy and i had been talking. He reports what's happening to his life and his plans, and I do the same. If he doesn't stand a chance, he should've been rejected a long time ago. But to date, he had never received a single rejection from me. The guy's smart. I'm pretty sure he gets that. If he really likes me, he should've told me already.

------

I received an invitation to be a guest speaker in some university. My intestines were screeming "No!" But my fingers typed, "Sure. Please send me the details."

I didn't do so well the last time I became a guest speaker in this other University, that I don't really feel confident that I'll be able to pull it off this time. Still, I want to give it a try para no regrets. Sabi ni Jay, she'll help me day. I love that girl so much, I'm really happy. Still, I just wish the she could just lend me her public speaking skills even just for a day because this whole idea is making my stomach churn already.

------

I feel a whole lot better now but I don't understand why I still can't eat.


Written by cinderellaareus at 11:22 AM.

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Saturday. March 11, 2018

Saturday stillness, swim and stuff

Woke up in the silence of our house.

Wala nga pala si Kaitlyn. Sinundo ata sila kaninang madaling araw ng kanyang lolo't lola.

It was just Mom, Dad, me and the dogs.

It was almost lunch when I woke up. Dad cooked.

I was supposed to leave 1230 if i wanted to get to our speak & swim venue at 3 o'clock, but mom was sitting at our sofa playing pet rescue. She asked me to help her finish a level. I failed, but love playing and just sitting next to Mom like that.

At about 2, Mom decided to bathe the pups so i locked gigi up the store and let the pups roam around the sala while Mom bathes them one by one. I watched them run and play and bully each other.

I love moments like these. In silence and simplicity, spending time with people (and animals) i love.

In the end, i left the house at 4 and got to the venue past six.

---------

Got to the venue. Ok naman. Mejo na disappoint ako kasi na bring up na naman yung election. Sobrang off ako sa workplace, clubs, etc na mapolitika and it pains me seeing us transforming into one. Mejo naiinis na ko.

I was just so relieved when Bea came dahil with Bea, for sure ang topic, love life.

After non, mukhang humupa naman na. Until Jer came up to me convincing me again to run. I had to shut him off.

Sa tingin ko, hindi naman mapolitika si Jer. Bothered lang sya na hindi na ko mag o officer. Hindi ko maintindihan kung ano ba talaga ang issue e meron namang nomination. I'm getting sick of this, really. I wish that the election will  be over already.

I'm also starting to feel sorry for the boy. Ang hirap kasi to talk with and smile at him kung kasali ako sa nagko-conspire para iba ang manalo at hindi sya. Besides, it's just 1 term. I'm sure the club won't just shatter in a year and it's just one person! There are 6 positions left that a few good members can fill. Kailangan ba talaga namin gawin to? Nakakawalang gana.

Oo nga pala, hindi pa nga pala ko renewed.

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Hitched a ride home sa car ni Bea. Before we go, MaAnn showed us around sa Victoria tower. It was so nice. Looking at the model units made me want to get married and build a family. 

Habang tinitingnan ko yung rooms, iniisip ko nga kung magugutuhan nya. Alam kong anlayo pa namin dun. I dont know if magiging even a step nearer man lang kami dun. Siguro sadyang futuristic lang ang mga babae.

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-ano bang magandang nadudulot sayo na may alam kang isa pang language?

-wala. Pwede ko lang ipagmayabang na trilingual ako.

-balak ko kasi mag-aral ng Chinese

-maganda yun kasi sasakupin na tayo ng China.

-oo nga, unahan na naten sila.

-tama! Magtayo tayo ng language school!

-ha?

-maganda yata magtayo ng Language school.

...

.

I'm pretty sure,  narinig nya.

Iniisip ko kung may patutunguhan ba talaga kami ng taong to.

Kasi kung hindi rin lang e bago ko pa simulang planuhin ang future ko kasama sya, kailangan makahanap na ko ng iba.

...

Promise, ang hirap maging babae.


Written by cinderellaareus at 01:14 AM.

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Saturday. March 10, 2018

Zaia for President

12:12 na ng madaling araw. Inaatok na rin naman ako, yet here i am, typing.

Wala lang.

Election na kasi ulet sa club. Kanina, jay sent a message sa instagirls GC asking for recommendations sa pwedeng inominate para daw makapag exchange notes. Idk. Parang dati kasi chill lang naman at walang ganitong anik. Maybe because there's this someone who expressed a desire to get the highest position or the next. I wonder if thet really dont want to have this someone get the position this much. Naiintindihan ko rin naman why.

LA said that both Jay and I are eligible to be the Pres. I told her i dont want to and that money is my reason. I thought Jay too was the same kasi she didnt include her name too sa list na sinend nya. When i asked, she said she's ok to be the Presi basta strong ang VPE. She's rooting for Jer for that position. 

Hay... ewan ko. Nakakawalang gana talaga ang politika. I told them im not running para makapag focus ako sa love life. Syempre, joke lang yon.

Tingin ko, mamimiss ko parin maging officer at malulungkot rin ako kung sakaling hindi ako mano-nominate at iboboto bilang president. Dont get me wrong, i support jay with all my heart. Ayoko rin naman talaga maging president. Nakakapagod, nakakatamad at magastos. Ni ayoko na nga rin maging officer. Pero kasi, kung hindi nila ako ino nominate/ibo-boto, feeling ko ibig sabihin non, hindi nila ko love. Malulungkot lang naman ako for that reason, pero makakamove on rin naman ako.

Sabi ni Gabby, si Jay at Jer daw ang 2 sa mga popular contenders sa club. I love them both and i'd be happy if either of them wins. Pero kasi, bunso ako in our family, kaya hindi talaga ako sanay na hindi ako yung favorite. Pero ok lang naman talaga. Huhu.

Grabe, para akong 2 years old.

-----------

Swimming with the people in the club in more than 12 hours. Earlier, excited pa ko, until i learned that people I'm not close with will come. Theyre from another. Parang ayoko na tuloy pumunta.


Written by cinderellaareus at 12:49 AM.

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Saturday. February 3, 2018

Osoraku

I feel sorry.

But maybe feeling sorry is a form of love in itself.

If caring comes, maybe loving is just a few steps behind.

Maybe time and efforts can make things change...

...

But until then, I guess we don't really have to hurt each other unnecessarily.


Written by cinderellaareus at 10:35 PM.

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Saturday. February 3, 2018

Sankaku

Beside me is the guy I like. His height about 5 inches higher than mine, just exactly how i wish my man would be.

I like his hair brushed up. Makes him look neat and gwapo.

Though I also like it when he wears white, I guess he can never go wrong with black.

He's tough, but can be soft too on rare occasions. When he's angry, his eyes will look like burning. I once saw them reflect tenderness though. It was like watching a storm calming down. I loved the sight of it.

Then on my other side was another. A swift glance of him makes me say to myself, "woah, gwapo naman nito..."

With eyeglasses or not, in suits or not, he's often like that. Gwapo.

But he's not only gwapo. He's also kind, gentle. He takes care of the people around him. He keeps you on the safe side of the road when you two are walking. Sensitive to the needs of everyone. Nice.

He can be masungit sometimes. Mapang-asar too. I also like that side of him though.

If only my life is a Korean drama, it would've made a perfect love triangle

Where two amazing men like the heroine of the story (me)...

And not each other.


Written by cinderellaareus at 12:07 PM.

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Saturday. January 20, 2018

Hima

Hima in Japanese means walang ginagawa.

Hima. 

Sa Tagalog, petiks. 

Hima. 

Spent half of the day locked up in my room doing nothing. Another half watching the pups and fixing their cage. 

Hima. 

Club contest yesterday. I love how my friends were so supportive even before and after I delivered my impromptu speech. Jer said that if I didn't go overtime, I would've placed second daw. Jay was asking me if I did it on purpose. 

OK lang naman. Mejo namimiss ko lang siguro yung training days. Pero wala rin naman talaga akong time na pwedeng i-devote para rito. Or siguro sila yung namimiss ko. For now, OK na rin siguro na ganito. 

Initially, naisip ko na kung hindi makakapasok si Jer, I'm not gonna watch the next contests na. But then Bea gurl won so I have to be there. Bea is an insightful woman. I bet she's gonna be a breathe of fresh air in the area contest. I'm excited for Elite. I hope we'll make it to the nationals too this year.

------

I wonder how the TM clubs in Cebu look like. Parehas kaya samin? Pag nagawa ko ba lahat ng plano ko, will I be able to leave everything behind and live there? Sighs. Sa ngayon, gusto ko lang magawa lahat ng plano ko. Maybe I'll just start thinking about running away after that. 

20the day of the year and I haven't done anything though. 

------

I remember bff and I having a little debate about whether one is being "paasa" or maybe nagbibigay lang sya ng pag-asa. Giving a chance vs. giving false hope. I'm not so sure which boat I am in right now. For whatever the consequences may be, I wonder if I'll be able to pay the price. 


Written by cinderellaareus at 07:09 PM.

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Saturday. January 13, 2018

Power of five

Woke up this morning and mom told me a happy news. Our pregnant dog, Mihan, already gave birth. I hurriedly came to her place and felt it in my heart that there will be 5 puppies there and the pure white one is my Thangs reincarnated.

There were all cute, chubby, healthy pups. I picked the one nearest to me and held her/him in my hand. White with a few patches of black and brown. I searched the rest of the pups looking for a pure white one. Found it but when I turned it to its side, there's a black patch in its ear. Not pure white. None was. So i thought, maybe Thangs is the one with a patch on the edge of the tail. I remember my Thangs was brown with a patch of white at the end of her tail. I also counted and there were only four.

Mihan was acting odd. She always get up when people visit her. It seemed like she wanted to get out. I thought it was normal for a dog who just gave birth.

It was already late afternoon when mom let her out of the cage. She immediately went under the cage and mom noticed that there's another puppy in there. Turned out Mihan indeed gave birth to a 5th puppy. I felt so sorry i didn't notice. She was cold and can barely drink milk. Thankfully, she seemed better now. I'm not really sure of if it's a she or a he. All I know is that the 5th pup is pure white.

I'm so happy. My Thangs is back. : )


Written by cinderellaareus at 05:43 PM.

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Saturday. January 6, 2018

Mini goals

I was looking at old photos. 

I miss my long hair and those days when I still can wear body-hugging outfits.

I want to bring these back.

Dr. Atkins and I need to talk.

I also promise never to do anything stupid to my hair until it reaches a certain length and from there, parang gusto ko ng beach wave. Pag-iipunan ko to.


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:49 PM.

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