Entries in category "土曜日"



Ida to Aoki
土曜日: January 15, 2022



I happened to click the Netflix JP series, "My Love Mix-up". Natapos ko all 10 episodes today. I love the main characters, Ida and Aoki. I was never a fan of BL romance, pero sobrang kinilig talaga ko sa dalawang to.

I want more eps! Bakit ba ang iikli ng mga JP series?

Really thankful in finding this series. Even just for today, nakalimutan kong ang dami ko nga palang problema.

Ang cute cute ni Ida and Aoki. I love them so much. I love them for eachother. ❤

Ano pa bang magandang series?

Just finished Jujutsu Kaisen. Started watching Manifest. Ok naman yung Manifest, pero hindi kasi nakaka uplift ng mood gaya ng My Love Mix-Up.

I need more series like this. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:03 PM.

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Mugen
土曜日: December 25, 2021



Started watching Demon Slayer. I watched the 1st ep ages ago. Kala ko pangit kaya di ko binalikan agad.

Bad trip lang, kung kelan napapamahal na sakin tong anime na to, isa isa nyang pinatay lahat ng paborito kong characters. Huhu.

Only 3 eps for season 3. Ongoing pala ito. Malamang dekada muna bago matapos.

Hayst. Rengoku-san. Huhu.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 06:37 PM.

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Lupa
土曜日: September 25, 2021



Saturday. Back to work. Nakakatamad, pero kailangan kong kumita.

Ang bilis tapusin ng squid game. Nanood lang kami ni mama the whole day kahapon. Binida ng pamangkin kong 6 years old na napanood nya rin daw. Naalala ko yung scenes na parang di nya pa ata dapat makita. Haha. But I'm sure her parents must've fast-forwarded that scene naman siguro.

Ang cute cute talaga ng pamangkin ko. Mamimiss ko sila pag lumipat na kami ng bahay. Pero around sjdm lang naman kami. Madali naman kaming makakadalaw, if ever. 

Sana matupad ang mga pangarap ko. At sana nandyan parin ang mahal ko sa buhay so I can enjoy living my dreams with them.

----

Nanganak pala ang isang friend ko. Baby no. 2. Parang kailan lang, pangarap lang nyang magka baby. Ngayon, naka dalawa na sya. Nag positive sa swab test ang friend ko..muntik na syang di tanggapin sa hospital nung manganganak pa lang sya. Pinaglaban ng asawa nya. Pulis din kasi. Sabi ng friend ko, ganun daw ang lalaking hanapin ko, yung kaya akong ipag tanggol. Lol. Loko talaga yung friend ko. May Covid na nga sya, love life ko parin inaalala. Lol. 

Hindi nya mapa breastfeed ang anak nya ngayon. At yung isa nyang anak na baby pa rin, iniwan nya muna sa nanay nya. I'm glad that my friend seems to be all positive kahit nagpositive sya sa covid. Pero sana gumaling na sya.

Si Indian din, kapapanganak lang sa baby no.2. Tapos namatay pa 2 siblings nya dahil sa covid. Ang alam ko 5 lang sila magkakapatid. The other 2 namatay na years back. Mag-isa nalang si yata si Indian.

Ang hirap ng buhay ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung wise bang mag buntis. Nag-aalala ako sa nga friend ko.

-------

Over breakfast kanina, I was happily talking about my dreams sa parents ko, and mom was like, "bago yan, intindihin mo e paghahanap ng mapapang-asawa".

Ewan ko ba. Pwede bang wag na? Masaya ba talaga? I wonder if the married people who encourage me to get married actually mean it. Feeling ko kasi they're just doing it out of habit, but I'm not really sure if they really like being there...being married, ganun. 

Kailangan ba talaga?

Pag nawala ang parents ko, mag-isa nalang ako. But I can't name a person I want to be with for the rest of my life e.

Sabi ng mama ko mag anak nalang daw ako. Takot ako maoperahan. Iniisip ko rin pag nagka anak ako, walang takas sa ganun kalaking responsibilidad. Bukod don, sa lahat ng nangyayari sa mundo, gusto ko ba talaga magdagdag ng human na magsa suffer kasama ko?

Ewan ko. Gumagana kaya tong matris ko? I don't even know.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:14 PM.

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Juuichi nichi me
土曜日: September 18, 2021



Ika labing-isang araw ngayon. Bumalik na ko sa trabaho, dahil wala na kong sasahurin, at andami ko pang bayarin.

1 day lang ang ipinasok ko last week. Saka ko nalang siguro iisipin.

Still sick. I've lost about 5 kilos already. Yung na pandemic fats na na accumulate ko sa isa't kalahating taon ng pandemic, na lose on the 8th day of being sick. I still keep on losing weight to date, pero di parin naman ako payat. Mga 18 kilo pa siguro.

I can taste food na. I eat like a normal person, but not yet on my "normal" standard. May ice cream pa ko sa ref, takot akong kainin dahil sa ubo ko. I fear eating anything for the same reason. I've been coughing a lot, I've been having muscle pain na sa abs. I often drink green tea, because it's the most effective way to tame my cough. As a result, eto, GERD. Sana kayanin ng tiyan ko.

I still can't smell. Palyado naman talaga ang sense of smell ko noon pa, but it was never like this na wala talaga at all.

Mom still feels weak. She's lost only 2 kilos as she tries to eat as often as possible to regain some energy. Payat din naman kasi si Mama. Sobrang nakakapag alala pag nagkakasakit ang parents, lalo't senior. Sana talaga gumaling na si Mama. And me too. And Dad too. 

Namimiss ko nang huminga nang walang sumasabit sa lungs ko. Though I do feel a little better naman na, gusto ko parin maging healthy ulet.

antagal na napostpone ang mga plano ko sa buhay dahil sa sakit na to. Pero thankful na eventhough there's discomfort whenever I breathe, well, at least I'm still breathing. 

Sana talaga gumaling na kami.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 12:45 PM.

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Kuuki yomenai no ka
土曜日: August 14, 2021



Kamusta daw, sabi ng relative ko sa probinsya. Kala ko uutang. Even worse, hihingi pala. Pandagdag daw sa bibilhin cellphone pang online class ng anak nya, na inaanak ko.

Naiistress ako. Naiirita. Nakakairita kasi feeling ko ang damot ko. Hahaha. Totoo, ang laki ng binayaran ko sa credit card this cut off, at tootoong I borrowed money from mom kasi kinulang.

Pero syempre hindi ko rin sinabing meron naman akong fund sources, ayoko lang mag withdraw dahil sayang ang interest. Naiinis din ako sa conflicted feeling na to dahil 1) this is the 1st time na lumapit sakin ang taong to, hindi naman sya madalas manghingi. 2)naiintindihan ko na taghirap naman talaga. 3) tumanda na yung inaanak ko at few times ko lang syang nabigyan ng regalo. 4) alam kong dapat kong maisip na blessed ako to be on the giving end, and not with them on the receiving/borrowing/asking end.

But at the same time 1)ayoko ng feeling ng naabuso at pineperahan. 2) ayokong sanayin ang mga kamag-anak ko na sakin lumalapit kapag nagigipit. 3) hindi man lang nya naisip na utangin, hingi talaga, so mejo... nakakainis. 4) I want to take care of my self and the people in my life---- they're not one of those people. I want to make it clear to them na hindi ko sila pananagutan.

After explaining that I had to pay a lot for may credit card at walang extra sa ngayon, ang sagot ni relative e next time nalang daw pag may extra na ko. Naiinis ako na walang trace ng hiya sa side na.

Naiinis ako. Sa kanila. Siguro mainly because they make me realize na ang damot ko pala, though matagal ko naman nang alam. Siguro kasi, they made me explain myself, and I hate explaining myself. Siguro kasi they made me question my humanity, or on why I so much lack generosity... or compassion, and whatnot. Naiinis ako kasi alam ko na lahat ng rason ko, hindi naman talaga sila ang may kasalanan kung hindi ako. It's not them who are making me feel this way, it's my own thoughts. Di ba?

Sighs, yaan mo na nga.

------

Naghahanap ako ng way to trick myself into exercising. Naisip ko e yung game na gagalaw ka talaga physically. Nag check ako ng dance pad, pero wala namang compatible sa smart tv. Meron nakong nabasa about Xbox at Nintendo switch. The more I read about them, the more confused I become. Ano yung kinect? Ano yung console? Katulad ba to ng family computer nung 90s? Or iniinstall ba to gaya ng mobile games? Nakakalito.

An officemate suggest na bili daw ako ng 2nd hand para mas mura. Mahal daw kasi to. When she told me the price, narealize ko na magkaiba ang definition namin ng mahal at mura. Lol. To think that this person's salary is higher than mine, by 2-3k. 

Tsaka hassle ang 2nd hand. Pano pag di gumana. At least pag brand new, may warranty. Tsaka yung mga 2nd hand, for pickup pa sa kung saang ibayo. I seriously think that buying brand new is a wiser option.

Pero siguro, ang even wiser option e to not buy at all. Tokwa, maglalakad lakad nalang ako sa harap ng pc twing avail. Wala pa kong gastos.

Still considering it though. Meron kasi ata game na multiple players. Pwede siguro gamitin ng buong pamilya namin. Nag iisip pa ko.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 05:21 PM.

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Hoshi mono
土曜日: July 17, 2021



There are many things I wish to buy, but the desire to invest and save as much money as I can seem to have a better control over my spending. Hanggang kailan kaya tatagal ang pandemya na ito? Gusto ko nang yumaman. Malaki parin ang gastos ko kahit hindi ako masyado lumalabas. Mostly sa cat food. Ang mahal ng cat food. Grabe.

Gusto kong gumawa ng bagong template sa Tabulas. Maybe Jiraiya themed. Or Naruto themed. Wala lang kasi akong pc at ang hirap gumawa at mag test ng code kung nakacp. Hindi ko rin alam kung pano. Ayoko i-access ang tabulas sa work pc. Mahirap na.

The newly issued work laptop look nice. Nicheck ko yung presyo, nasa over 30k. Bibili ba ko?

Lol, syempre hindi. 

Gusto ko rin ng personal ref. Nasa 9k ata yung maliit. Bibili ba ko?

Again, hindi.

Maraming easy payment mode to buy a car. My life will be a whole lot easier if meron kaming sasakyan... bili na ba ko?

Hindi pa rin ang sagot.

Pag super mayaman na ko, titipirin ko pa rin ba ang sarili ko?

Though I don't spend one time big time, I do give in to mini luxuries, like aircon jeep kesa regular. Magtata tricycle for 70 pesos kahit wala akong bitbit, against 10 pesos sa jeep, para mabilis akong makauwi kesa lumakad ng kaunti. I also spend on good restaurants whenever I go out of the house. Afterall, halos once a week or once in every 2 weeks lang naman ako lumalabas. Lahat ng to ginagawa ko para kahit paano hindi ko ma feel na deprived ako.

Saan ba ko dadalhin ng lahat ng ito?

When I was younger, I had grand dreams for myself. I remember I used to want something grand. Achieve great feat, then prove myself to the world. Ngayon, I just want to live an easy life. Yung malaya ako sa oras ko. Yung may pera ako para sa mga gusto at pangangailangan ko. Yung hindi ako marerestraint ng kakulangan ng pera at oras. Ganun.

Hindi noble na dream. Pero parang yun kasi yung gusto ko. 13 years of corporate slavery. Siguro lahat naman ng empleyado may point sa buhay nila na gusto nilang lumaya. Ako every single day, I dream of breaking free from this. Yet the thought of losing job is still very scary. Kaya siguro ganito yung nararamdaman ko. I guess it's natural to hate the things that bring you fear, no?

Ano kayang gagawin ko?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:06 PM.

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Kero kero
土曜日: July 10, 2021



It is said that Sasuke is the most handsome dude in Konoha. Can't help but doubt that when Naruto is looking so fine in his Sennin mode. Orang eye shadow and all. That's whole different level than Sasuke. Yiiiii!

211th episode of shippuuden. I guess an anime/krama series can't be too long if it's this good, no? Ampogi kaya ni Naruto. I also love Shino, Shikamaru, and Gaara. Excited na ko sa shinobi war. With the effect of coffee ice cream kicking in, I can watch until my phone's battery run out, if only my eyes allow. Yun nga lang, I have work tomorrow. 

--------

Tita told me that my cousin, her son, wants me to be the ninang of his child. All good naman. Pumayag ako. Nakakainis lang na pinipilit ako ni Tita to physically attend, when I already told her that I'm not yet vaccinated, neither are anyone from our household. Nakakainis that she was able to convince Dad, and Dad promise he'll have Tito to send us there using his car.

Naiinis ako. I hate it when people decide on my behalf. Naiinis din ako how Tita kept insisting na pumunta ako, when I already said 'no', and with legitimate reason at that. Nakakainis. I'm feeling disrespected whenever people closest to me do things of this sort. Parang emotional blackmail. Nakakaiinis.

I'm not going. Oh, watch me. 

I've always been seeking freedom. You know that, right? Lahat ng pangarap at aspirations ko sa buhay, yun naman talaga ang ultimate goal. Freedom. Nanggagalaiti talaga ko when people try to control me, or force things on me. Grrrrrr.

Alam mo ba, when we were younger, bff had always sought peace. I think it's a nobel thing to seek. Di katulad ng hinahanap ko... yung freedom. Parang ang selfish lang kasi. But this is what my heart screams for.

Know what, bff and I are so different. She's dedicated and reliable. Ako naman, lazy and indulgent. She's always been the cooler one between the two of us. Though I think highly of my bff, I kinda like myself this way. 

So I guess the question that I need to answer now is how I'm gonna turn my weaknesses into strengths, since I don't really hate my weaknesses at all.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:42 AM.

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Repeat
土曜日: July 3, 2021



Waited until 11PM for the delivery team. Waley. Wala parin akong pc for work. As long as the company will pay me still, keri boom boom.

There is a swollen mass on my armpit. Like a mini volcano of puss erupting. It has been tormenting me for days. Sana nga wag nalang muna dumating ang pc ko. My arm movement is limited because of the pain and discomfort. Wala na kong leave. Sana madeliver nalang pag okay na kilikili ko.

-------

Nagsusuka na naman yung isa sa pusa ko at ayaw kumain. Nakakapag alala. Sunday bukas, not sure if may vet. Yung kilikili ko pa. Tokwa. Bahala na. I sometimes wish I have a car so I can easily bring my cats to the vet. Kaso di nga pala ako marunong mag drive. There is this car on display sa sm. Suzuki S-presso na kulay orange. Sobrang naku cutean ako sa kanya. Manual daw to. Sabi nila mas madali daw mag drive ng automatic. May automatic bang orange na S-presso?

Syempre di naman ako bibili. Di rin naman kasi practical. Wala kaming garahe. Parang natatakot din ako mag drive. Sarap lang isama sa daydream. Mehehe.

Someday. Soon. Lahat ng bagay na gusto ko, makukuha ko. Sana.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:18 PM.

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Btw
土曜日: June 26, 2021



Saturday and I'm back to work.

I hate how I feel about it. I mean, I've got a good job that pays me well. The job itself is not so bad. Hindi ko alam kung anong iniinarte ko. Bahala na.

Gusto ko nang yumaman. Mayaman enough to never work anymore.

-----

Kulit ng panaginip ko kanina. Nasa school ako. May exam daw. Math. Keber daw sakin kahit late dahil magaling naman ako sa Math. Promise, hindi ako ganun ka arogante nung nag aaral pa ko. Hindi ko na natapos yung test, nagising na ko.

Tingin ko, math lang yung  bagay na kaya kong pag trabahuhan nang hindi iniinda ang hirap. Nung bata pa ko, akala ko gusto kong magsulat. Pero twing nagsusulat ako, dama kong pinipilit ko lang angbsarili ko. Hindi ganun pag math e. Siguro magugustuhan ko rin ang chemistry. Hindi lang kasi kami nagkaroon ng pagkakataong magkakilala ng lubusan. Distracted ako sa cocc nung hs, nung college naman, walang kagana gana yung teacher ko dun.

Kung yumaman nga ako to the point na di ko na kailangan magtrabaho, anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko?

Gusto ko matry mag work sa hotel. Kahit yung sa reception lang, or taga serve ng food sa dining area, ganun. Lol, anlabo talaga ng mga trip ko sa buhay.

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Ang haba ng Naruto. Season 8 na ko. Mukhang di kompleto yung nasa Netflix. I already found the rest elsewhere. Pati mga movies. Iniisip ko pa if panonoorin ko yung boruto. Dun ata madededs si naruto. Huhu. Sana fake news lang.

Grabe ang tibay ng gumawa ng series at manga na to, no? Great job, though.

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Ano bang gagawin ko sa buhay ko? I need this job. I need money. I don't think I'll ever find another company who will pay me this much. Hindi native level ang Japanese ko at wala ring background sa IT. Sinwerte lang talaga, di ba?

Alam ko namang malaking blessings to for me. I'm truly grateful. Naiinis din ako na nararamdaman ko to.

Tokwa. Help me, Universe. Penging passive income na 2 million pesos per month, please!

-------

May sakit na naman ang isa sa mga cats ko. Bringing her to the vet today after my shift. Wala kasi yung vet kahapon. Private vet to dahil maaga ang public vet. Di na kami aabot. Wala pala akong pera. Mehehehe. I rarely keep cash. Nanghihinayang ako mag withdraw from gsave. Sayang interest. Sana sapat na ang 500.

Sana ok lang ang pusa ko. I don't really trust private vets. They all seem to be after the money instead of the animal's welfare. Kainis. I wish I can send my Iya to the city vet. They have better facilities there.

Mag aral nalang kaya ako mag vet? There will be no safer hands for my cats than mine, di ba? 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:02 AM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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