Entries in category "月曜日"
Been sick for a few days. Wala namang fever, but I feel generally heavy, masakit ang ulo, at winner ang sakit ng lalamunan. Kung employed siguro ako, baka nagka problem na naman ako sa leave.
The first day I was sick, bumuti ang pakiramdam ko after uminom ng lysine. So naglaro ako ng Battle Realm sa laptop at hindi nagbother na magkumot kahit malamig ang aircon. The following day, my head was spinning, and even just speaking was hell painful. Epic yung sakit ng lalamunan ko.
Still sick today. Speaking is less painful, pero mas mahirap ng kumain. Para akong lumululon ng graba pag kumakain ako ng kanin.
Hahhhh. I hate getting sick.
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I'm still jobless. Not that I'm applying for a job anyway. My brother's also jobless and seems to be getting help from our relatives. Probably the salary will be lower than the previous one. Sabi nya, mas okay na daw yun kesa wala.
Haaaaah. Ayoko magtrabaho. Pero kailangan ko ng pera. My earnings from my FB page had increased, but it's not like I can live off with just 25 dollars every two months. Pero umaasa ako na lalaki pa to soon. Sana nga.
Ano bang gagawin ko?
Siguro for now, I have to focus on gutting better first.
09:54 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
1 week since I've gotten back to PH, and I'm already itching to go back to Japan. I bought the biggest box of Shiroi Koibito cookies as pasalubong, but it was nowhere near enough. Next time I go there, I won't experiment on other snacks, but will just spend all of my pasalubong budget on Shiroi Koibito, and maybe some milk-flavored Kitkats. I didn't like the other flavors of Kitkat, so I'd stick with Milk. Will also buy some Royce chocolates, but maybe, 1 box lang. The best kasi parin talaga ang Shiroi Koibito.
Gah! I miss Japan. Mom said maybe I should just live there for a while hanggang sa magsawa ako. Maybe she's right, but I'll miss my cats.
My expenses were surprisingly lower than I expected. Marami pa akong naiuwing yen. And after paying all my credit card bills post travel, may tira pa kong pera for the month's budget. I thought I will need to sell stocks to pay everything. Yiii.
Anyway, that said, until this month nalang ang budget ko. I might need to sell stocks, or if I get lucky, maybe I'll get to receive payment from Tita's loan. She said she'll pay the rest of her loan by June. If she will pay me, then next month budget, plus Dad's birthday celebration, will already be covered. Wahhh! Crossing fingers. ><
Going to Japan despite unemployment turned out to be a great decision. Bago kasi ako umalis, nahihirapan na kong matulog from worrying sa kung anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko, since I really didn't want to go back to the corporate world again. Ngayon feeling ko mas clear at fresh na ang utak ko and more ready to tackle the challenges ahead.
Pero syempre hindi pa dito nagtatapos ang laban, in fact, nagsisimula palang.
I told Mom I plan to earn about 1M in a month, then live off with that for a whole year, which, if divided into a year's worth of monthly expenses, e just a few thousands less than my net salary back when I was still working. Since hindi naman ako mamamasahe at nasa bahay lang, I think it should be more than enough to keep our lifestyle. Ang tanong lang naman talaga e... paano?
Wahahaha!
Nagbasa ko ng reddit responses sa tanong na "how did you earn your first 1M(pesos)?" Alam ko namang hindi magiging madali, pero at least, hindi na naka panic mode ang utak ko, unlike before I left for Japan.
I want to bring Mom and Dad to Japan. I think I can afford it now since hindi ko naman nagalaw yung stocks ko plus ang dami ko pang yen. Ang problema lang e my parents don't have JP visa yet, and ako, bilang sole guarantor/financer ng would-be travel nila, will need to have show money for the visa application. I have less than 30k under my name right now, na mababawasan pa for the month's expenses. Wahaha!
Nakita ko yung simplified visa application for BDO cc holders na applicable daw sa family members ng credit card holders. Mag Korea nalang kaya kami? Mom's not thrilled when I told her na summer and rainy season sa Japan by June and July. She said it's not wise to travel during this season. I just checked and found that Korea's similar. Oh well.
Hindi porket konti lang ang nagastos ko sa JP trip ko e makatwiran nang gumastos without restraint. But if it's for my parents, then it's not unreasonable.
Another reason e kasi, yung pinsan ko, dinala yung parents nya at parents ng asawa nya sa Hong Kong. That kid's mom is my dad's sister. Tas yung asawa nun, Dad's brother-in-law, e.... uhm... idk. Basta, Dad hates Tito's guts. Niyayabangan daw kasi sya. I trust Dad's words, because he's not really the type to hate people's guts without reason.
True, my parents had been to Hong Kong and had traveled to more countries than they did, but knowing Tito, he'd probably come up with something annoying to brag about, despite that fact. Gusto ko lang na merong pang counter si Papa sakaling magyabang si Tito. Like, "nako, nung nag Hong Kong kami, bumagyo, kaya di kami masyado nakagala. Dinala na nga lang kami ng anak ko sa Japan para makabawi," or something like that. Hindi ako mapagpatol sa kayabangan, pero ibang usapan kasi pag parents ko na ang involved. I don't want them to look kawawa.
Ugh. Kailangan ko ng maraming pera.
05:54 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Hahhh. So, my short-lived romance has ended.
I wonder if I should've negotiated my terms instead of ending it altogether. I tried messaging other people, but it didn't feel as fun and as natural as it was with him. Why did I end it nga? Was I just running away again? Naiyak rin ako ng very slight. Naalala ko nung grade 1 ako, inaway ko yung kaklase ko, tas ako yung umiyak.
I should've let him show me the 6.2. But it's fine.
Were men this boring to talk to before? Maybe I should allow myself a few days off from this whole goal-setting thing.
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Papalapit na ang Japan trip, pero wala pa ring nadadagdag sa pera ko, puro bawas lang. I don't want to sell my stocks sana. Sumali kaya ako sa game show? Ugh, still not enough. What should I do.
Nag self-publish ako ng coloring books online. Kanina ko lang natanggap yung notice na napublish na. I made them during weekends. I made 3, yet only 2 notifications came. I wonder what happened to the other one. I'm working on another one. Ipo post nalang. Was too lazy to open the laptop today.
I was at Watsons earlier. Ngayon ko lang nalaman na 45 pesos pala ang isang sachet ng hair mask. 45 pesos for 1 time use?? Omg. I used to not mind the price. Nagulat nga ako na yung ginagamit ko palang bulak for my face e 99 pesos. Jeez, magkano lang yung totoong bulak.
Ugh, I can't even buy lip gloss. Nakakaiyak. Hahaha.
Haaaaah.
Sa totoo lang, hindi pa rin ako nagsisisi for resigning. Pero sana soon, I can get back to my old lifestyle.
Haaaaah.
I miss that pervert. Lol. I wish I get to meet someone like him again. Ang weird, I actually ask for someone with the same specifications, yung height, age difference, and even the 6.2! Hindi rin naman talaga ako nag sisisi. But I'm thinking maybe I should've negotiated my terms instead of just easily letting go. I mean, he's not a bad guy, and we have chemistry, and I do like him. Pero okay lang. I mean, anong gagawin ko?
Haaaaah.
Andami pang more pressing things to do. I stopped doing everything else na hindi pasok sa 4 goals na naset ko for 6 months. Halfway through April, pero wala parin talagang progress.
I pray for things to get so much better very very very soon.
06:36 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Apat na goals to focus on for the next 6 months based sa activity my 4-hour work week book ni Tim Ferris.
1. Buy 8-seater car (Innova)
2. Find a hot and sexy boyfriend
3. Lose over 15 kilos weight
4. Travel to Korea with parents
Bale sa computation ko, kailangan kong kumita ng over 400k para ma achieve yan in 6 months. I still don't have a job. I don't plan on getting back to the corporate world. Considering that I don't like people very much, ayoko ring magtayo ng business. So nag iisip ako fully-automated source of income. Yung hindi ko kailangan magmanage ng tao, or better yet, hindi ako kaylangan at all, for the business to run. Tim Ferriss says it's possible. Nakakainis. Gusto kong maging masipag in working smart.
To start getting the goal, need daw ng first step. My first step for goal number 2 is to create a dating profile. Tapos, message at least 5 men na type ko. Kaso sa sobrang tamad ko, I changed it into 1 man per day. I only reply once to twice daily. He used to just let me be, until I accepted his invite on IG. He's starting to be a little more impatient. He said I look like I'm in my 20s daw. I told him I look normal. The guy actually look more matured than his age. I guess it's an Asian thing. My friend, LA, is 42, but she can still be mistaken to be in her late 20s.
To prevent myself from running away, I keep reassuring myself that I'm just looking for a boyfriend, not marriage partner. I can't get married yet. Lalo't wala akong stable source of income.
Speaking of source of income, my BL page in FB received an invite for a bonus program 4 days ago. Yung mga non-reels and non-stories ko daw will earn money depende sa number of reach and interactions. I only have 2.6k followers, but my reach this week was about 67k. Huge chunk of which e galing sa post before I signed up for the program. So far, for the last 4 days, I already earned—drumroll please—2.43 dollars! Lol. Malayo layo pa ko sa target monthly income na over 400k.
I've been receiving emails from companies, and I even received a call from a job offer kahit di naman ako nag-aapply. Iniisip na ka pag wala na kaming makain, I can always go back to the corporate world. Pero sana talaga, hindi ko na kailanganin pang bumalik.
Haaaaa.
Ang hirap hindi mag-alala. Eventhough I still have more than enough money to survive, nakakatakot parin gumastos. Wala rin kasing pumapasok na pera. Puro palabas. Because of worrying, madalas na badtrip ako.
Haaaaa.
I need to earn something soon.
Since hindi kailangan ng pera yung goal number 2, sana nga, kahit yun, ma achieve ko.
06:05 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Nag punta ako ng bank to deposit some check. Nag grocery ng konti at nag-uwi ng konting pasalubong sa bahay. Then, when my niece got back home from school, after thanking me for yhe the pasalubong, she asked:
Niece: wala ka work?
Tita: di ba nag resign na ko?
Niece: resign? Kelan ka mag wowork ulet?
Tita: hindi na.
Niece: *long pause* paano na tayo bibili ng kotse?
Tita: don't worry, yayaman parin si Tita kahit di mag work.
Ugh, that look of worry on her face when she finally realized that I don't have work anymore was quite heartbreaking.
Coincidentally, nag message din yung former workmate ko. Nalaman nyang nag resign ako and was offering me a job na 100% percent wfh. I told him, I don't plan to work anymore, at balak ko nalang mag artista.
Haaah. Kaya ko to.
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Mom's attending some birthday party happening at a private resort in Laguna. Overnight, and she wants me to go with her. I already told her I can't because I need to take care of the cats. She talked to my sister-in-law and asked her if she can do the job just for the weekend, and she agreed. Ayoko talaga pumunta, pero drinamahan na ako ng nanay ko, so I guess I'm going.
Tita will go too. She's bringing her stepson. I hope she won't push me into the dude, because that guy is like an older cousin to me. We're actually cousins by law, aren't we? Nakakaumay.
Well, whatever.
Sabi nila, if gusto mong dumami ang pera mo, you've got to expand, not only your knowledge on your craft, but also your network. Tsaka gusto ko rin naman magswimming, kaya oh sya, sasama na.
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Ang bilis ng araw. 11 days na kaagad ang lumipas at wala parin akong nagagawa para matupad ko ang plano kong kumita ng 1 million pesos monthly.
Basta. Kaya ko to.
04:30 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
We were at a mall in QC when Dad noticed the mall decorations overflowing with red. I told him, "baka kasi Chinese New Year". To which he responded, "hindi, dahil sa Valentines yan."
Valentines na nga pala. Akala ko ang pagiging wfh ang dahilan kung bakit walang ganap ang lovelife ko, but 2 years after return to office, I realized, it was never really the case. Oh well.
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Nagpunta ako sa Quiapo with Mom and Dad. We ate something fancy before going there. Bakit kaya iba ang pakiramdam. Naisip ko lang na iba ang confidence ng alam mong marami kang pera.
Last Saturday, kahit sa sosyal kami kumain, wala yung usual na... angas ba ang tawag dun? Idk.
I like that part of myself. Yung maangas at confident sa mga bagay na kaya kong gawin. Akala ko dati natural ang confidence ko, pero lately, narealize ko na nakadikit pala yun sa idea na meron akong magandang trabaho.
Sa totoo lang, ayoko ng ganitong feeling.
Sinabi ko kay Mama na mas konti ang work lately. Nagdagdag kasi sila ng tao dahil na rin siguro sa andami naming reklamo. Sabi ni Mama, "oh okay na pala, wag ka na magresign. Di ka naman na pagod."
Alam mo bang natulog ako kagabi at gumising ngayong umagao dreading going back to work, kahit na work from home na ko? Nandun yung resign-na-resign-na-ako feeling, even though I have submitted my resignation already.
Ang gulo no? I love the version of myself na confident dahil marami syang pera, pero ayoko paring mag stay sa lugar na nagbibigay sakin ng confidence na yun.
Gusto kong maniwalang makakayanan ko parin to kahit hindi na ko empleyado. Na magkakaron parin ako ng maganda at masaganang buhay outside corporate world.
Matalino parin naman ako. Talented parin naman ako. At hindi naman nabura ang skills at achievements ko kasabay ng pag resign ko, kaya, kaya ko to.
Haaayst.
Payakap nga, Universe.
Tapos, pahingi ng passive income na 1 million pesos monthly.
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Nanaginip yung tatay ko na mag-aasawa na daw ako.
Mas matangkad daw sa kanya. Medjo macho daw at kulot ang buhok. Lol.
I few days back, naglalaro ako ng game sa Netflix na Too Hot To Handle. Kulot yung nakatuluyan kong character. I wonder if Dad saw that. Although dun sa game, lalaki yung character ko, then lalaki rin love interest ko, para BL. Hahaha.
Tokwa, sa totoo lang, masama ata talaga sa lovelife ko ang BL hobby kong ito. Gah.
04:01 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
On shift ako today. Work from home. Sobrang chill, that's why I'm super grateful.
Alam mo ba, it feels like ages ago, kahit months lang naman ang nakalipas nung inannounce ng previous account namin na they are letting go of the JP team.
Ako ang unang pumasa sa next account na interesadong kuhanin kami. I remember how I tried to comfort Wendy when she was worried and sad dahil hindi sya makabasa ng Kanji during the assessment. I told her na malay mo, pag natapos ang lahat ng to, mas maganda pa pala ang napuntahan nyo kesa sakin.
Hah! It came true.
Alam mo, I've long known the power of words. It's nice to use it to give encouragement to people. Pero tokwa. I should've known better than to use it against myself.
Hahhhhh.
Yung account na napuntahan ni Wendy, forever work from home, at madali lang daw ang work. Tas today at sa new year, wala silang pasok.
Sa totoo lang, wala namang bitter feeling. Hindi naman puro bad stuff ang naranasan ko sa account na ito. I'm glad to have met Kayla, Johanna, Diday, John and Alex. Sam is also treating me well. Hindi naman talaga masama.
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I couldn't sleep kagabi. Like, past 3 na, gising pa ko.
Siguro may dahilan ang langit why I ended up here. Whether I stay here or leave, sana maging maayos ang lahat.
Malay mo, ako naman yung maging maswerte this time.
Baka ito pala yung mag led sakin sa one true love ko. Char!
....
Sa ngayon, gusto ko lang ng malaya, masagana, at maligayang buhay.
I wish the same for you, Tabby peeps.
Merry Christmas sating lahat.
01:13 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Every single time na nagresign ako, laging meron nung super pleasant feeling of knowing na hindi ko na kailangang pumasok ulet sa trabaho. Yung tipong paglabas mo sa office, it's like feeling the wind breeze on your face for the first time.
I love that feeling.
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Na ping daw ako for always being late sa trabaho. Back in Takeda, even if I was late every day, they left me alone, and quietly deduct money from my salary. I wonder why can't this account do the same.
Nakakatamad. Gusto ko na maging malaya
My only saving grace in this life is BL Bukod don, stress at pagod lang ang nafi feel ko sa buhay.
Of course, I'm grateful for this job. I love having more than enough money, allowing me to love myself and my loved ones better.
Pero pwede kaya yung parehas na mayaman ka at malaya?
Gusto ko nang maging malaya.
Yung malaya at mayaman.
Sighs.
07:43 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Monday palang, pang isang buong week na yung level ng umay ko sa buhay. As always, I wanna get out of here.
This Saturday na ang Hong Kong namin. Friday palang, absent na ko. Sa totoo lang, the thought of not having to go to work excites me more than going to HK itself.
Siguro unfair na sabihing ang toxic ng mga workmates ko ngayon. I know they're just doing their job, and they're not like that 100% of the time. But trying to be understanding doesn't erase this feeling of wanting to get out of here quick. Umay na nga ko sa work. Umay pa ko sa workmates ko. Umay fiesta ba ito?
Haaaaah! Hanggang kelan ba ko magrereklamo until I actually do something about it? I want to end this corporate slavery for real.
04:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
