Entries in category "月曜日"


月曜日. July 15, 2019

Onna Otoko

Trying to pass time. Alas sais pa out ko. Sabi ng trainor after 30 minutes lecture, bukas nalang daw iba. Namemorize ko na ang mga nakasulat sa dingding. Wala pa kong pc login I have no way of pretending to be busy. Pwede kaya matulog muna?

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Brother and I was having a convo abt men. He said na ang gusto daw ng mga lalaki e yung mejo boyish. Ayaw daw ng mga lalaki yung maarte at matagal mag-ayos. Ayaw din daw nila yung matagal mag shopping. He even joked na nagoyo lang daw sya ng asawa nya.

Iniisip ko lang... may babae bang hindi maarte, mabilis mag-ayos at mabilis mag shopping? Feeling ko kasi, kung lalaki ka, at ganito ang hanap mo, mas mainam siguro na humanap ka na nalang ng isa pang lalaki. Lol.

I got the same thinking though.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit pag nagsama sama ang mga lalaki, para silang kitikiti. Pwede naman lumakad ng maayos, may pa sirko sirko pa. Kailangan ba talaga nilang maging laging magulo?

Ngayon, naiintindihan ko na kung bakit ang dami sa mga lalaking nagustuhan ko noon ang bading. Mas pino kasi silang kumilos at hindi yung lundag ng lundag. Lol.

Pero sa totoo lang, gusto ko parin ang mga lalaki.

Iniisip ko lang, paano kaya matagumpay na nare-reconcile ng mga mag-asawa or mag jowa ang mga ganitong differences.


03:41 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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月曜日. July 15, 2019

Day 2

Because I slept my Sunday away, hindi na ko nakatulog kagabi. Day 2 is a day when I'm supposed to observe. There's nothing to observe though. Walang magawa. Antok na antok na ko. Wala rin naman ginagawa sa dati kong trabaho, pero at least, pwede matulog.

Ansakit ng paa ko. Bakit ba ko nag high heels?

Sabi nila 1 month pa daw yung ganito. Walang ginagawa. I thought this is an urgent position.

Uwing uwi na ko. T_T


11:23 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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月曜日. July 1, 2019

Kanshashite iru

Kasi naman, when I told him my expected salary after he asked, he was like, "ah... pasok naman," so kala ko, sakto lang dun sa amount na sinabi ko. That's why I got so surprised when he presented me the actual breakdown.

The last time, I made a bargain with the Heavens that if He'll give me a salary with a certain number of digits, I'll give 10% of that to the Feast. Siguro kailangan talaga ng Feast ng pera. I wonder if this is an answer to their prayers.

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"Basta ako, hindi ako nag-oot."

Ang cute cute talaga ni Sir P, gusto ko na syang iuwi. Promise, hindi ko naman hahawakan. Titingnan ko lang. Lol.

Ang pleasant pleasant nya kasi at sobrang mukha syang harmless. I doubt that he's single though (nega!). Pero malay natin. ^<

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I just sent my resignation letter, effective on Friday, July 5. I'm yet to complete the pre-employment requirements at alam ko naman na marami pang pwedeng mangyari. Sana talaga maging maayos ang lahat.

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Naisip ko lang... I also made another bargain to the Heavens that if He'll have me get married before the year ends, I'll give 100k to the church. I'll add another 100k to that if He'll make our love story epic. Yung tipong kakabugin ang koreanovela sa level ng kilig.

Mukhang pumapatol naman sa bargains ang Langit. Iniisip ko tuloy kung ready na ba kong mag-asawa.


06:47 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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月曜日. June 24, 2019

Peel

3rd post today. I just have some thoughts that I need to get out.

I had a final interview earlier at 7pm. This is the co whose name Mom doesn't like. I'm surprised that their office is actually posh. I think that alone will solve the problem.

I'm not so sure if they'll accept me though. The HR was good. He was the best I've seen so far. See, I'm good at packaging truths so I always, always get past the HR. But this HR was different. He was able to peel the packages off. I was surely taken aback, but I must say, I was also impressed. Single kaya sya? Lol.

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Seeing my dream co tomorrow. Sana day shift. Sana maganda office. Sana malaki sweldo. At sana tanggapin nila ko.


09:07 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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月曜日. June 24, 2019

Bare

Kung hindi ko kailangang maging nice and civil, I do have opinions on things. There is this co that I already said no to because they said they're offering a nightshift position. Then they're calling me again telling me na dayshift naman daw. I don't know if I should trust these people.

I'm heading to a final interview after work. Mom have an issue with the name of the company. My mother is the most influential person in my life that's why I'm having a change of heart on this.

Nakalimutan ko kung anong schedule ko ng Tuesday. Baka matag ako ng no-show.

The co I'm seeing on Wednesday is something I'm really really interested to. Dapat nagpa appointment nalang ako ng Tuesday.

Thursday I've set for that co I don't trust. Sana mahire na ko by Wednesday so I wouldn't have to go.

I have a list of 4 others, isisingit nalang sa sulok sulok na oras kasi ano bang magagawa ko?

I asked the Heavens for a favor. It's more like a bargain. I said that if He'll give me an n-digit job, I'll give 10% of that to The Feast. I'm willing to accept a job even with half that amount though, so long as it's DAY SHIFT, MON-FRI lang at around Ortigas only or nearer home. 

If given 2 good choices, which one will you choose, the one that offers more money, or the one that offers more time? I feel abnormal because I'm pretty sure this girl will pick "more time" without batting an eyelash. Samantalang kailangan ko naman talaga ng pera.

My transition from a worried state to a wapakels state happened so quickly, I'm not so sure if this is even a good thing. You know the law of demand and supply? I feel like the tables have just turned. Of course I could be wrong. But I don't think I really care.

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"Ano bang hinahanap mo? Baka parehas tayo ng hinahanap. Pwede ba kitang mahalin?"

Hindi talaga ako nagmumura. At least never out loud. Pero putek, minsan parang mapapamura ka nalang talaga sa mga ganitong banat.

Sa ngayon, maghahanap nalang siguro muna ako ng trabaho.


02:58 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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月曜日. June 24, 2019

Ato isshukan

"Don't judge people based on their past mistakes."

I was reading random entries from my archives and arrived at some particularly dark ones. The darkness had long been cleared, but remembering how I was back then still gives me a heavy feeling inside.

But the past can't hurt you anymore unless you let it.

I'm all sunshiney now. I feel like, people with dark clouds surely have more character--parang art, parang painting--pero character or not, I will never go back there.

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One week left. Wala parin akong pupuntahan. While on the bus last night, I had a realization na siguro dapat nagfofocus sa dreams at hindi sa fears. In a way, it gave me peace. 

When stripped of all the things we carry and weigh us down, siguro don natin malalaman na hindi lahat ng bitbit natin sa buhay e mahalaga.

Maybe I cannot control the thoughts entering my head, but I can always choose which ones I will allow to stay. Maybe I can't control who my heart will cherish, but I can always choose the ones I will nurture and the ones I will let go.

Maybe we have more power in our lives than we thought we do.

I don't want to put so much resistance anymore. 

I've decided.

I will be water.


08:43 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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月曜日. June 17, 2019

Joyride

Gusto ko ng joyride. Kahit hindi ako marunong mag drive, at wala naman akong kotse.

Past 9pm na nang dumating ako rito. I was fumbling for my keys, nang bigla kong naisipang bumili ng softdrinks. Meron naman sa kapitbahay, pero naglakbay pa ko sa paborito kong tambayan para bumili. Sa Angel's Burger.

Nakakatuwang tumambay sa Angel's Burger. Iba't ibang klaseng tao kasi ang nagagawi dun. Ang sarap nilang panoorin. Minsan may nakasabay akong bumili na isang pamilya na dumating doon na nakasakay sa kariton. Madumi yung suot nilang damit. Pumunta yung tatay sa may tindera at sinabing, "pabili nga ng dalawang foot long." Tapos nagsigawan yung mga anak nya ng "Pa, ako rin foot long! Ako rin foot long!" Hindi ko naman talaga alam, pero basta dama ko yung saya at pride nung tatay na alam nyang kaya nyang ibigay yung gusto ng mga anak nya.

Kaya naman saludo ako sa nagtayo ng Angel's Burger. Ginawa nyang mas abot-kaya ang burger at foot long para sa lahat.

Sana balang araw magtinda rin sila ng spaghetti. Yung kinse pesos lang pero lasang Jollibee.

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"Anak, uwi ka bukas, may alimasag."

Know what, I really love my mother.

I'm going to attend a seminar tomorrow that will last until 9pm so I can't really go home. Maybe on Wednesday. Then on Saturday, we'll be swimming in Laguna for Mom's birthday celebration. Ang sarap na kalimutan nalang lahat at i-look forward nalang ang mga masasaya at exciting na bagay na naka line up sa calendar ko. At kalimutan na less than 2 weeks nalang bago matapos ang buwan na ito pero wala parin akong nahahanap na bagong trabaho.

Hayst. Gusto ko mag joyride nang makalimot.

Lord, penging pera. T_T

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Ayoko ng feeling na naiinis. Hindi reasonable. Hindi productive. Hindi patas. Kaya naiinis ako na lagi nalang akong naiinis sa taong to. Parang hindi na maubos ubos yung inis ko.

Pero siguro, if there's someone I don't mind getting annoyed with, it could be you. 

And maybe pag hindi na kita gusto, hindi na rin ako maiinis sayo. But until then...

Naiinis ako na naiinis na naman ako sayo.


10:31 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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月曜日. June 3, 2019

Not Tuesday

The day will be over in an hour, yet I already feel like it's Tuesday.

I just got an email from a company. Said they saw my profile and is asking if I'm interested to apply to their job openings. It's around my expected salary, twice my current. The only problem is that it says, "willing to permanently transfer to Cebu."

Anlabo. In the past I was all, "I want to live in Cebu" and sh*t, and yet now that the opportunity is here, I just can't hit the reply button.

Juice colored. Eto na naman tayo.

I feel so weird lately. One moment, I feel giddy about the endless possibilities that could happen if I embrace change. Then another moment, I feel all consumed by fear and anxiety at the thought of what could happen if things won't go well. Parang ngayon, kinakain na naman ako ng pag-aalala. Pero ano bang worst na pwede mangyari?

Kahit tamad na tamad ako, I did send out applications. Ayun, walang pumansin sakin. Ayoko munang kabahan since kakasend ko lang naman kahapon. 

The companies I've sent my applications to are mostly around the area lang. All either in Cubao or Ortigas. Lahat day shift. Truth is, I'm just considering the club. Surely, I wasn't all happy when I was elected as an officer. It's just that, our incoming President interests me. I'm liking the way he handles the position so far. I want to learn from him as much as I could. Besides, he's an agriculturist. Someone legit. Unlike me who's just winging it when it comes to my plants. 

One time, he showed me a picture of a very cute plant, mukhang echeveria, but different. When I asked magkano bili nya, he said mura lang, only to find out na it costs as much as my most expensive plant. Lol.

It's not every day that you get to meet people who live the life you want to live, know the things you want to know, and have the chance to even work with them. I can't just let this pass me by.

Sana makahanap ako ng work around the area. Sana petiks din so that I will have time to do my other activities. Yung ang sweldo e mga 3x ng sweldo ko ngayon para masaya (mag wi-wish ka na rin lang, itodo mo na).

Worse comes to worst, I might end up just staying here, which is not really that bad. People here are very nice. Still, I wish to land to the best possible option.

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It's our first council meeting tomorrow. Ok, let's do this!


11:47 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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月曜日. June 3, 2019

Rid

"Does it make your heart pound whenever she's around, tortures you whenever she's not, drives you slightly insane at the thought of her being with another guy, and now that you're apart it makes your heart ache so much you can hardly breathe?

Pare, you're in love with her."

Read this somewhere back in hs. Ctto. Sobrang nacute-an ako, namemorize ko. Lol.

Lalaki yung nagsulat nito, so I wonder if men are like this in general. I can't say women are the same. I think we're slightly different. Or baka ako lang. Idk.

I was a Civil Engineering student for 5 years. Every sem, square root lang ng klase ang pumapasa. Kung hindi ka magsisipag, kasama ka sa babagsak. So I was trained to take studying seriously. This became my training ground into becoming a workaholic.

First 5 years of my professional life, I spent like a robot. I was cool with it. It makes me proud and happy doing a job well done. It was only when I got here in my current job that I learned how to chill.

But the workaholic in me hasn't died yet.

It was a particularly busy weekend, ni hindi ko na nadiligan ang mga halaman ko. As far as I know, I don't easily get distracted when busy, pero...

"drives you slightly insane at the thought of her(him) being with another guy(girl),"

You said you were out for a movie. Date ba yan? Romantic date? Sino kasama mo? Kilala ko ba? Kayo na ba? Man, this is annoying.

I wonder if I really like this guy, because if so, that's stupid. Okay, don't get me wrong. He's a fine guy. It's just that, he's so much like ***. It's like nadapa ka in a place, only to find another very similar place para madapa ulit. That's not a very wise thing to do. Not wise at all.

Pero baka wala lang naman. Maybe there's really nothing worry about. I remember the relationship coach discussed about this before. It's easy to like a person daw based on proximity. Maybe a little distance will do the trick.

Jeez, ang weird. Why do I always treat feelings like a problem that should be solved or get rid off? Is this even normal?


08:38 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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