Entries in category "月曜日"
12nn-9pm shift started today. I decided to commute to and fro home in Bulacan. I left 10am. Our store was still closed and some neighbors were waiting for us to open. As I got past them, 1 neighbor said, "Gag*, di ka pwede dyan. Engineer yan." And, I was like, "Lol".
Was at gathering this weekend where I met sis-in-law's relatives. 1 relative asked me, "maganda ka naman, ba't wala kang boyfriend?" I usually have fun, playful, lighthearted comebacks ready para sa mga ganitong linyahan, pero wala ako sa mood non. When she repeated, "maganda ka naman," I just answered, "of course!" That time I was itching to say, "hindi lang ako basta maganda, matalino pa ako, well-achived, multilingual, multi-talented at marami pang iba." Nakakapikon kasi na sa dinamidami ng magandang traits at kapuri puring bagay na meron ako, lagi lagi nalang na yung wala ang napapansin ng mga taong to.
Ang weird lang, I didn't mind back in the day. Now, I do.
There's this someone I'm seeing differently lately.
Sabi nila, meron daw 5 love languages. Eto yung different ways kung pano NEED ng bawat individual na mahalin. Iba iba daw ang love language ng kada tao. Acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, time at touch. And alam ko dati acts of service ang love language ko. Iniisip ko now, hindi kaya "touch"?
This happened back when I got sick. When I got back to work, this dude walked up to me para alamin kung kamusta na ko. As he did, he motioned the back of his hand towards my neck to check my temperature. E hindi naman lagnat ang sakit ko kundi stomach ache. Lol. Nakakatawa lang. Pero kahit ganun, ang sweet parin. Kahit naman before, sweet talaga tong taong to.
Still, ok... ang ambabaw. Itigil na natin to. Lol.
Pero at least, natutunan ko na weakness ko rin pala yung taong sweet. Sana sweet yung mapang-asawa ko.
Contest this Friday and the next. Ayaw mag sink in. Tamad na tamad ako lately.
Mel, the gang and I are planning to book at place overnight. Tamang Netflix ang Chill lang. Ang hirap mag match ng sched lately. Matutuloy kaya to.
I consider our dog, Gigi, as a miracle dog. Dati kasi she was so sick she was good as dead na. But I asked for her to be restored back to health nung Feast of Divine Mercy. Ngayon bukod sa magaling na sya, anlakas lakas nya pang kumain. Kahit balahibo nya naging mas soft ang silky rin. Totoo nga siguro na binubuhos ni Jesus ang Grace Nya pag FDM.
Ang alam ko, hiniling ko rin na mag flourish ang love life ko. On the way na kaya?
10:16 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I ended it this morning. Naisip ko nga, the best siguro kung bigla nalang mawawala. Yung wala nang usap usap. Para hindi mo na kailangan mag explain. At para may option yung taong involved na mamili ng explanation mas madaling tanggapin para sa kanya.
Pero marami sa kakilala ko ang hindi sumasang-ayon sa ghosting.
Pero kahit ano namang means ang gamitin, in the end, kung sino ang nag sever ng ties, sya parin naman ang magmumukhang evil. Pero ano naman ang gagawin ko?
So ito. Balik ulit tayo sa umpisa. Minsan, iniisip ko kung mas ok na ba na ganito nalang. Ok naman ako mag-isa. Tingin ko kasi ang pinakamahirap e yung bumitaw pag nahawakan mo na. Ganun ba talaga yun? Ganito ba talaga dapat yun? Parang laging pinipilit ang sarili? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko na maalala kung ano ba yung dapat na nararamdaman pag meron kang pinapahalagahan.
Was coloring my niece's Zootopia coloring book. There was a drawing there where Judy was hugging Nick and I found it so cute, I took a picture of it and saved it on my phone.
Kung merong love, siguro ganito dapat yung feeling. Same feeling na nafi-feel ko pag tinitingnan ko yung picture ni Nick at Judy. Nag hanap pa ko ng ilan pang sweet photos ng dalawang animated characters na to sa internet. Sa pagkakaalala ko, hindi naman romantic ang Zootopia. Pero basta, ang cute nila.
Gusto ko ng ganito. Yung ganito.
09:00 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I don't think I'm sad. If there's anything, I guess this is my entrepreneur side refusing to invest her emotion on something with less than ideal return. I guess with age, I'm getting better at moving on.
Mom came knocking on the door of my room. I told her I'm dressing up. She said, "ah basta, papasok ako", and helped me dressed and stuff. I think Mom is missing me too.
As I drag my luggage to the bus stop, the boy in the neighborhood who saw me arrived said, "hala, kararating nya lang, aalis na ulet?"
I don't know why I can't seem to satisfy this homesickness. Even my overly maldita niece is being extra sweet every time I go home for the weekend. I wonder if I should start commuting.
Mr. F looks like Presi in picture. He can cook and he doesn't make me feel like an alien when we converse in English. I like how he's easy to talk to. Also, I realized, I think men with goatee are cute.
I wonder if I should stop telling people I'm vegetarian. Para di sila nag eexpect na payat ako. Lol.
Ok, I'm a bit sad.
07:25 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
I bought an electric lunch box yesterday. Pwede mag init ng food, mag steam at magluto ng itlog. Gusto ko na kasi maging healthy. At bilang vegetarian na ko, hindi naman kasi talaga ganun ka accessible ang mga pagkain, though I still eat animals without backbone (ie, shrimp, squid, crab).
So nagpunta ako sa palengke kagabi. Aliw ba aliw ako sa palengke. Isang tali ng kangkong, nabili ko ng 5 pesos. 2 tali ng okra, sampum piso. Bumili rin ako ng 1 pack ng sili. Sa halagang bente pesos, may 2 meals na ko.
Bumili rin ako ng isang tray ang itlog. 30 pcs for 195. Hindi ko akalaing pwede palang mabuhay nang ganito lang kamura. Bukas, babalik ako ulit sa palengke.
Gamit ang electric lunch box, maglaga ako ng okra, kangkong at itlog. In 15 minutes, may hapunan na ko.
Sa grocery, bumili ako native suka probinsya levels. Ang sarap, Bes. Nilagyan ko ng sili at toyo. Dun ko sinawsaw yung okra at kangkong. Winner talaga. Wala pa atang 50 pesos ang halaga ng hapunan ko ngayon, pero parang 5 star hotel ang lasa. Wala pang ka effort effort yan.
Ang downside lang e, eto, ang dami kong huhugasan. Sighs.
So this is how 34 looks like. This is actually good.
Tita Pet gave a flower paper weight and an hour glass.
Si Wendy, binigyan ako ng lipgloss from Japan.
Si Sir Jek, Happy Birthday chocolate pop from Goldilocks.
Si Crush, bukod sa pasalubong nyang marmol key chain from Romblon, binigyan rin ako ng ethnic sling pouch na kamukha nung lagi kong dalang bayong pouch.
Ang si sweet ng nga tao sa paligid ko, gusto ko sila i-hug isa-isa... kaso parang ang creepy ko naman pag ginawa ko yun. Lol.
Kung hindi ako praning, siguro sweet akong tao.
10:30 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
"P* is gay."
I overheard someone say this at the office. While I was stressing myself thinking, "shit, bading na naman," bigla kong narealized na, "hey! Crush lang naman. Hindi ko naman sya pakakasalan." Lol.
Today, I learned that Pe**y's leaving na. By December daw, si P* naman. Marami pa daw ibang aalis. Kapapasok ko lang sa co na to, sila naman aalis na. Nakakalungkot. Pero naisip ko na hindi pa ko regular at marami pang pwedeng mangyari. So... I don't know. Bawal malungkot?
Hayst. Ang daming existential questions. I remember Tim Ferriss said we should ask better questions. Ano kayang magandang tanong...
"Universe, I want to build my own family with a wonderful, loving husband na gustong gusto ko at gustong gusto din ako. Anong pwede kong gawin to make this happen?"
Tim Ferriss, is this a good enough question?
Kahit tamad na tamad ako I started responding to messages from various dating apps. Kasi anong point ng may dating app accts ka kung hindi mo naman ine entertain ang mga nakikilala mo don? A lot of my friends found their boyfriends--husbands even--sa mga dating apps. So siguro, wala namang mawawala.
Hindi ba pwedeng yung crush ko nalang?
Lol. Kung sakali bang hindi sya bading, magkakagusto kaya sakin yun? He's 6 years younger. Idk.
Let's ask better questions.
08:55 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Thermometer read 37. Wala naman akong lagnat. I don't know where this about-to-faint feeling comes from. My head aches and I feel like vomiting. Pain travels through my eyes and left ear and also at the back of my neck. Still having chills and cold sweat. Ano ba ito?
Guess I'm taking a leave tomorrow.
Nadz sent me a message telling me she's resigning from her position sa club. Naunahan nya ko. I also told mentor about my plan. We talked over the phone and he asked me not to do it. He made a bargain with me na he'll bring the club back to it's old, fun self by January and that he'll help me out with my tasks. My head started spinning halfway our conversation so I had to cut it short.
Ang daming nagaganap sa Earth. Tapos may sakit pa ko.
I just want to go home. Dapat pala dumerecho na ko sa Bulacan kanina.
10:35 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
You know, I'm a very smart woman and my comprehension is a lot quicker than the average. Hindi naman talaga totoong hindi kita naiintindihan. I just want you to stay a little longer.
Ang kire. Lol.
11:21 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Peeta: You love me. Real or not real?
It's hard to be a woman. When hormones mess up with you, it's hard to know when your emotions are real or not. So I always have to ask, "real or not real?" I swear I'm generally happy human being when I'm normal.
My head aches from a crying fiesta. I probably slept at around 2am. I checked the Flo app and there, 1 week before red days. Hello, PMS.
Not real. The irritation I felt and is still feeling is probably not real also.
Will train our contestant tonight. I just want to go home and read my books in peace.
10:16 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Pag natuto na ko mag paint, ipe-paint kita. Mukha lang, tas contemporary. Red, blue, yellow, violet contrasts. Naiimagine ko na maganda kakalabasan. Ang cute cute mo talaga, Crush! <3
Takte, ang highschool. Lol.
He told me how it hurts him knowing that with his dad and brother gone, hindi na mabubuo pa ang pamilya nya. So I told him what I felt to be the most obvious.
-e di bumuo ka ng sarili mong pamilya.
Bading kaya to?
Sh*t, ang praning ko. T_T
10:09 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。