Entries in category "Monday"


Monday, August 13, 2018

Halaga

On normal days, I might find this creepy. Pero dahil sa mejo broken hearted ako ngayon, na appreciate ko talaga to. Hahaha.

Salamat, dude!

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Ang lakas ng ulan kaninang madaling araw nung paalis ako kaya hindi na ko pumasok.

Kahapon natapos ko ang tula ng pamangkin ko para sa school. Para ma motivate syang mag memorize, ginawa kong tungkol kay Spider-man yung tula dahil mahilig sya kay spider-man. Pramis, effort gawing related sa theme na "Filipino, wika ng saliksik" ang tulang tungkol kay spider-man. Kagabi, nagsimula silang magpraktis. Mukhang hindi effective. Good luck sa pamangkin ko.

Still, it's one down for me. Now speech naman. Insipirasyon, sapian mo ko!!!


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:24 AM.

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Monday, August 6, 2018

905

"Ok lang. Sumadal ka dito." He said motioning his shoulder and I was like, "Lol, no."

My head aches and my eyes sear. Had a crying fiesta for no reason and very little sleep. I must be getting old.

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Yesterday, I cleaned up my room and threw away stuff. I decided to let go of the letters I've kept since high school. Some of which were written by people who are already dead now.

"Sana itago mo 'to," I remember he once said. But this is long overdue.

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TM meeting last Friday. JP gave me a whole bag of fruits so heavy that when Gabby said, "samin na kayo sumabay," hindi na ko humindi. In the end, I got home at 3am. Lol.

Was with my Instagirlfriends then. While in the car, the topic went to rated R-ish, I swear I can't understand them-probably more than half of the time.

My friends, even outside TM, are mostly around my age. And yet, at 32, I'm probably still the most nene of them all.

But is that a bad thing?

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Last Friday, Jer told me, he resigned na. I thought he was joking pero sabi nya totoo daw. I remember I was also around his age when I left 1st co and the CE profession altogether. He is a CE too and it seems like he's going to do the same thing I did. It's like seeing my old self in someone else's life. I think Jer will probably do better than I did though. He's very disciplined and always strong in his resolve.

In a way, I'm envious. There's nothing I want more right now than to be free too. Without letting my family starve, that is.

...

Pero wait, kaya ko naman yun di ba?

Kaya ko yon! Puteeek, kaya ko talaga yon!

Wait for me, Universe.


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:07 AM.

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Monday, July 23, 2018

Math

Braving Monday with a sleepy head. It's been a long while since I had sleeping problems. I don't know what triggers this. Takte.

I went to this place I'm in now to find some quiet place to think and plan my life. I want to use the things I learned from the Harvest Master game and use it in real life. So ano na 'Te?

I feel wierd. I'm not even sleepy. Tamang lutang lang. Gawd, what's wrong with me? I few things piss me of. Ayoko na nang ganitong setup. Alam mo bang kahit sa bible nakasulat na you are supposed to protect your heart? Surely,  I trained myself to quickly move on, pero di ba lahat naman ng sugat, mag iiwan at mag iiwan din ng scar.

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Hindi ko maintindihan kung anong point ng meron akong acct sa isang dating site kung lahat naman hindi ko pinapansin.

Tingin ko kasi mas gusto ko pa rin yung tunay na tao flesh and bones.

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Halfway July. On the 29th, it's gonna be my 5th year here at the cage. I think this month and the last one had been tough. Ayoko na ring dagdagan pa yun bad feeling so wala nang sisihan ng sarili. Maaayos ko rin to. Oh God please...

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30% of the time, I think of how much I'm missing you. 30% thinking how nice it would be like to be with you. Another 30 thinking how maybe this is such a terrible idea. The remaining 10 reminding myself how I have a lot more pressing things to think about.

Oh God, I need sleep.

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Change of heart:

Enggwepenengnewmembernemen, OMG!!!!


Written by cinderellaareus at 11:52 AM.

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Monday, May 28, 2018

fonder or not

they say that absence makes a heart go fonder...

or forgetful.

I guess I've underestimated my capacity to forget. Sino ka nga ulet? Lol.

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Been on an eating fiesta since the day after our 007 party. Need to go back on eating moderately if I'd like to look like a normal human being. Another black tie event in a month now. Pwede namang hindi umattend. I just want to support Gabby. Besides, I might be needing more nice pictures in the future.

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Today, I learned that the language in Maldives is called Dhivehi. It's kinda interesting how there so much more out there in the world that I am yet to see and discover.

Maybe I can also visit Maldives one day.... Wait, why not? : )


Written by cinderellaareus at 04:01 PM.

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Monday, May 21, 2018

Kerengkeng at dating site

Traffic kasi. Inaayos kasi yung kalsada samin kahit hindi sira. Para hindi uminit ang ulo ko, I turned on the data of my fone. Umiinit din ulo ko sa Facebook kaya nag register nalang ako sa dating site na sinuggest ni bff kung saan nya nakilala yung fiance nya. Tamad na tamad pa ko mag ayos ng profile nung una. Kasi naman wala akong idea ano ba ginagawa sa dating site. Tas sabi bff, filter daw ng search. Hanap ka ng trip mo. I-like mo. Tas pag ni like back ka, ayun na. I don't have an idea yet what "ayun na" means, but when I started searching, ay sheeeet! Dami rin palang gwapo! Hahaha. Kaya tyinaga kong ayusin ang profile ko at nag upload pa ko ng matino tino kong pictures. Ang landi lang. Lol.


Written by cinderellaareus at 10:51 PM.

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Monday, April 30, 2018

Chrises

Sabi sa librong nabasa ko, lahat ng tao daw, pinanganak na bisexual. Yung society lang daw ang nag brainwash saten to have preference for the opposite sex.

I never liked a girl romantically, so I don't really know if this is true. 

Pero pag nakikita ko si Chris Evans at Chris Hemsworth,

Siguradong sigurado akong babae talaga ko. Hahahaha!

Puteeeek, ang gwapo gwapo, ayokonah!!! T_T


Written by cinderellaareus at 08:34 PM.

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Monday, April 2, 2018

Asdfghjkl

When I was in college, feeling ko ang pinakapainful parts ata ng college life ko e yung bigayan ng class cards. Madalas kasi square root lang naman ng klase yung pumapasa, at dahil most of the subjects e prerequisite ng next, ibig sabihin, pag may bumagsak sa classmate ko, hindi mo na sila magiging classmates sa mga future subjects nyo.

Kung may isang bagay na hindi ako magaling, yun e seeing people go.

Club renewals over and the nomination for the next officers just started. On the same time of the year last year, naalala ko na mejo excited ako. Pero ngayon.... Feeling ko, bigayan ng classcard.

Regardless of what's right and what's wrong, i still feel like we ousted a family member and this is really breaking my heart. But what's there to do?

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A lot of things hurting me lately. Naalala ko lang yung isa sa mga principles ng Stoicism na "amor fati"... " love the life that you were given". 

Kung iisipin ko, sa tingin ko, I love my life naman. Siguro sadyang nalulungkot lang talaga ko.

Naalala ko kasi yung mga bagay na hiniling ko pero hindi binigay ng langit. Kung tutuusin, mas marami naman sa mga dasal ko yung dininig kesa sa hindi. Hindi ko alam kung baket ba ang emo emo ko ngayon. Kakatapos lang ng red days ko kaya sigurado akong hindi to pms.

Pero siguro dapat lang na finefeel ang feelings.

Lord, I'm hurting. Nakalimutan po ata akong balikan ng mga assistants mo dyan sa langit.

Hello, Lord...

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Watched "ready player one" today and i liked it so much that I'm worried i won't be able to like the movie we'll be watching tomorrow because today's movie had set the bar high.

Ang ganda ang ready player one. Panoorin nyo!

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Some days, i feel like maybe i really want to be with you.

Some days, i feel like we aren't really going anywhere.

Then most days, i feel like maybe I'm really better off alone.

...

Bakit ang complicated ng buhay pag may taong involved?


Written by cinderellaareus at 07:56 PM.

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Monday, March 19, 2018

Drama and blessed

An fb friend posted something like, "kung tutusin, lahat naman tayo blessed. Madrama lang talaga tayo."

I cannot agree more.

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Got to the office on time.

Partner helped me attend to some painful customer. The issue was resolved in the end.

When I got off the bus on my way home, Mom and Kaitlyn were waiting for me.

Sis-in-law cooked sopas and it was so good.

BFF said she'll buy a swimsuit from my swimwear line.

My beautiful cousins said they will too.

Alam ko. Blessed ako. I am greatful.

I just can't explain this unhappiness. This dissatisfaction. And disappointment.

Probably the time of the month.

Siguro din, namimiss lang kita. As much as i want to have you have a taste of your own medicine, it sucks that the thought of you hurting hurts me too. 

Sa isa sa mga paborito kong kdrama, may isang lalaking nagtanong dun sa bidang lalaki kung paano daw magiging kasing cool nya para sya rin maging popular sa girls. Ang sagot nung bida, ang cool daw e yung taong nagmamahal ng malaya. Nagmamahal na hindin nagho-hold back out of fear na baka sya yung higit na nagmamahal kesa dun sa other person.

Gets ko ung point. I think, what messes up loving e pride. Pero puteeek, ang hirap kasi nung wala yung pride. Ewan.

Sabi sa talk show na napanood ko noon, hindi mo daw masasabing nagmamahal ka kung hindi ka nasasaktan. Tingin ko hindi naman laging ganun. Hindi DAPAT laging ganun.

Kaya kanina, dumaan ako sa chap bago umuwi. Twing dinadapuan ako ng lungkot, feeling ko sinasadya lang yun ni God dahil gusto Nya kong makausap. Kanina i asked the Heavens for a love na hindi masakit.

Wala lang.

Para maiba naman.


Written by cinderellaareus at 09:44 PM.

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Monday, March 12, 2018

doomed

every time that i try to fix my speech,

i feel like it gets even worse.

...

huhu.

ayoko na.

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"umiinom si za*?!"

people's reaction every time they see me with a beer in hand.

i started drinking 15 years ago, what's up with that?

i wonder why people always assume that i dont drink, in the same way they assume that im always single.

lol.


Written by cinderellaareus at 10:45 AM.

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