Entries in category "月曜日"



TYSTC
月曜日: March 23, 2020



A doctor I'm acquainted with posted a notification for his patients saying he won't be able to give online consultations anymore as he will be going on a 24-hr hospital duty.

My tears are falling as I type this. I don't know. I feel like Doc A is going to a battle with no guarantee that he'll be going home alive. Will he die? I feel so sorry. I'm so sorry. While I'm here, safe at home, there are people who are risking their lives in the call of duty amidst the pandemic.

Heavens, isn't this enough already?

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I have a colleague who just left the company. Her new employer had extended her supposed start date due do the lockdown. She's now wondering what would happen to her if this community-wide quarantine continues.

I read somewhere that there are downsizing happening in some BPO. There are companies from Europe who are closing down due to this COVID situation and are due to open until further notice. I wonder what will happen to those people who have lost their job now that we're all in crisis.

I feel grateful that the company I'm with is still up and running. That despite the lockdown, they've tried their hardest to send our PCs to our homes. That they're keeping the business afloat.

I am grateful. I will always remember this, company#4. Thank you.

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Sana ok lang ang lahat ng mga taong mahalaga sa akin.

Sana manatiling safe si Doc A habang nagliligtas sya ng buhay. He's a good doctor. He's a good person. Please protect him and his family. Heavens, please. Protect all of our doctors, nurses and everyone who are saving lives at the expense of their own. Awat na po sa casualties. God, tama na po.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:46 AM.

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156
月曜日: February 24, 2020



It's almost 2AM and I haven't slept yet. I'm supposed to wake up in 2hrs. Accompanying Parents to the Doc to have Dad's eyes checked in a public hospital in QC. Maaga daw aalis dahil mahaba ang pila. Mas gusto ko sana matulog nalang.

The day went with me cleaning my room. I'm not finished yet. I thought my days will be hayahay but the Universe planned differently. Hopefully, by Tuesday, my room will no longer look like a damp site.

Few days and I will be back to work. 1 day to my 9-6pm sched. I have no idea what my March sched will be. Bahala ka na sakin, Universe. Inaalala ko lang yung mga ganap sa office. If panggabi ako tas may team building, paano kaya yun? Hindi matutulog?

I read the groupings from the email. Nabasa ko rin yung nakasulat na toka toka rin pag dating sa chores like cooking and dishwashing. When I told Mom about it, she was like, "sabihin mo sa kanila, hindi ka pwede maghugas ng plato. Yung kamay mo..." referring to my allergies. Jeeesh. Sana luto nalang mapunta sa group namin. Yun nga lang, hindi rin ako marunong magluto. Iniisip ko rin ang pagkain. Hindi ako kumakain ng hayop. Sabaw sabaw nalang siguro. Sighs ulit.

I don't want to cause any hassle to these people. Ito talaga yung reason kung bakit ayoko sa lumabas kasama ng mga tao na hindi ko pa masyadong ka close. Ang dami ko kasing issue sa buhay.

Ewan. Saka ko na siguro to proproblemahin.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:14 AM.

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Band aid
月曜日: February 17, 2020



I just revived my dating profile in various dating websites. Sabi nila, when you lose a person daw tas hindi ka nag move on dahil feeling mo wala ka nang makikilalang tao who will make you feel the same way, scarcity mindset daw yun. I hate scarcity mindset.

Hindi naman talaga applicable sa situation. I didn't lose anything. I'm just sad. Putek, may na swipe right pa ko na kamukha nya. Lol. This is silly.

I'm naturally detached. Nadi disorient din ako sa mga emotions na unuasual sakin or kaya yung mga extreme. Madalas hindi ko na ine examine kung ano bang na fi-feel ko. Lol, ni hindi ko alam ang difference ng tamang fondness lang sa romantic attraction. Hindi na rin ako pupunta sa topic ng love kasi masyado yung higher level para sakin, tipong papunta ng outer space. Kaya ngayon na nalulungkot ako ng dahil sa isang tao, nako confuse ako... pero teka, ano bang point?

Maybe I just need to meet more people.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:03 PM.

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SSS
月曜日: February 17, 2020



So I just went to a government office to day in the hope that I can have the rest of my leaves covered. The doc there said, kung hindi ka sick, you're not entitled to it. Vinerify ko pa sa actual officer kasi bago lang naman daw dun si Doc. Syempre nakipag argue pa ko. Mukhang natakot naman sila sa taray ko at binigyan ako ng options. Nowhere near good ones though. In the end, they suggested that I call the main hotline.

Nakakapagod ipaglaban ang sarili mong benefits. Iisip nalang ako ng way para kumita ng pera habang naka tengga ako sa bahay.

Sinong may kailangan ng kidney?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:54 PM.

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Hi ulit
月曜日: December 30, 2019



Papatapos na ang taon. Ang daming dapat gawin. Ang dami ko rin ipinag-aalala tungkol sa buhay buhay.

I just booked for my parents flight to Taiwan on Feb na sabay sa flight namin ni Mel. Bigla kong na realize na wala akong ipon and I need now 3 times of my original target budget. Lol. This is only 2 salary cut offs away. Bahala na.

Dad started exercising again para daw makapaglakad sya ng maayos pag nag Taiwan kami. When we had our family trip kasi in Intramuros, napagod sya at nagpaiwan nalang sa bench. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako kukuha ng pera. Hahahaha.

When we were in college, I had this friend na ang daming issues sa buhay. We often helped her get through her life as a student, but I used to hate it when this control freak  (myself) was already pulling her hair to help a friend get through an impossibly tight situation,  tapos the friend she was helping was acting all chill pa, saying, "God will provide."

Looking back, she was indeed able to go through all the hard times with just that idea though.

All my life, I've always worked and worried my way into having things done. It made me always stressed, but I did get things done. Iniisip ko if magwo-work ba sakin ang pagigimg chill. Right now, I feel like that's the best choice I have. God will provide.

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Ang daming bagay na nag-aalala ako.

Yung work ko na hindi ko alam kung makikeep ko ba since we're still waiting for the decision of the client if they'll keep us or not. I'm not even regular yet. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong mangyayari pag hindi kami nakakuha ng favorable na decision.

Yung Taiwan trip nga.

My parents' health.

My singularity at this age. Yes, there's that too.

And then this person that I'm worried about...

yung future ng club...

kung dapat pa ba ko mag stay...

kung kaya ko bang isabay lahat ng to considering na ang dami ko na ring inaalala even without this...

...

I woke up early kanina. Mga 5am. At around 6am, bumaba ako sa may sala to find that I was alone in the house. Namalengke pala ang mga magulang ko. I took my time to enjoy the silence. I opened the back door of our house and smelled the fresh air sa garden ng tatay ko. Namunga na pala ang puno ng papaya. Yung isa, namumulaklak na. Pa chirp chirp lang din ang nga ibon at ang sarap nilang pakinggan.

Know what, hindi naman talaga ganun kasama. Ok naman talaga ang buhay ko. Sadyang mahirap lang talagang hindi mag-alala, pero kung tutuusin, ok lang naman talaga.

Siguro for once, kailangan ko ring matutunang maging chill at maniwala na God will really provide. 

May mga days na nalulungkot din ako at nao overwhelm. There were days I've spent crying because I felt unsure on what to do. Days that looked so nice on the external. But then they were. It's just that, life has so many angles pa at hindi naman lahat, naka capture ng camera.

2019 had been a happy year, but December was the most challenging part.

And it's not over yet.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:04 PM.

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Pang
月曜日: December 16, 2019



Intramuros between '02-'07.

We were on the walls--the two of us, overlooking the golf course, waiting for Lights and Sounds Museum to open. We were poor college students without a peso under our name. We munched on Skyflakes and some candies as we wait.

Were we happy?

Why, I can't remember anymore.

-------

Our plan this weekend is to roam around MOA, visit Intramuros, and if time allows, maybe we'll go food tripping in Binondo. Brother bought 3 tickets for his family to watch Disney on Ice. Mom's not interested so we'll probably do something else around those hours. I downloaded a map of Intramuros in preparation, along with the schedules of activities happening around. Nandun pa pala yung Lights and Sounds. The heaviness in my chest is still there. I wonder if this will ever go away.

His wife is pregnant now. 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:53 PM.

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Junbi
月曜日: December 2, 2019



Monday. My graveyard shift month at work has officially started. I forced myself not to sleep last night so that I can sleep by morning, but I only managed to stay up until 3:30am. Woke up 11:30 and I just spent the last 2 hours forcing myself to sleep.

As someone who spent her childhood, teenage years and early adult life as an insomniac, hindi ko alam kung bakit takot na takot akong mapuyat these days.

------

We have a new j-hire at work. He's half Japanese but has been here in the country for only 6 years. His Filipino is almost native. 29 yo dude who has many hugots, he's really funny, I like him (not romantically, he's just 29). He's into weightlifting and often goes to the gym. When I asked him what's his goal for doing so, he was like, "para makahanap ng forever".

Hindi ko gets. He wants to find a girl (he likes the morena beauty of pinays daw), and yet he stays in the gym (yung bakal gym type na tig 50 pesos bayad). I told him, walang babae dun! Lol. It's been 2 years since he was rejected by the girl he courted for 2 years din. Naawa ako sa batang to, gusto ko sya ipakilala kay Mel. She's a morena beauty, really nice woman. I know her type though. He's probably too nice for her taste, but who knows...

Naisip ko lang din, I'm probably like this dude, naghahanap sa maling lugar, ganern. I saw a meme that say something like, baka daw kaya tayo single e dahil umuuwi tayo kagad pagkatapos ng church service.

I don't even go to church anymore.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:42 PM.

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anti s
月曜日: November 25, 2019



I was on sick leave last Thur and Fri. No one believed though that I was sick. And why is that? Lol.

Do you believe that I was sick?

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I was planning not to go, you know. Lalo na nga, my boss here is really nice, and I hate lying to people who are nice to me. Pero kasi, I KENNAT!!! I just can't miss this, you know. This event, since 2013, had been the highlight of my year, year after year, after year! Hindi ko kayang hindi pumunta! Juice colored. Huhu. I'm sorry, TL. T_T

So ayun. I went while on "sick" leave. Natatakot din akong mawalan ng trabaho, pero bahala na. Next year, my VL na ko (kung nandito pa ko). Hindi naman na siguro kailangang maulit to.

Sa totoo lang, ang daming magagandang nangyari sa taon na to. Pero ang hirap sabihin na hindi KCON ang highlight kasi feeling ko ito parin talaga. Ansaya kasi e. Feeling ko nagbabago ang pagkatao ko pag uma attend ako ng KCON.

This is the last KCON though. Next year, they'll be calling this FeastCon na. Yes, I already bought a ticket. All smiles.

-------

Ang daming pangyayari. Ang daming gagawin. Graveyard shift na daw ako sa Dec. Sa tingin ko, ok lang naman. Ang di lang ok e ang daming tao dun na di ko kilala. Ang daming tao, period. Sa totoo lang, bukod sa pag-asang maimprove ang love life ko e sumali ako sa TM at Feast para i-improve ang interpersonal skills ko. Yet as time goes by, feeling ko mas lalo akong nagiging antisocial. 

But, is it really so bad to be antisocial? 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:21 PM.

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On the way na ba
月曜日: November 4, 2019



12nn-9pm shift started today. I decided to commute to and fro home in Bulacan. I left 10am. Our store was still closed and some neighbors were waiting for us to open. As I got past them, 1 neighbor said, "Gag*, di ka pwede dyan. Engineer yan." And, I was like, "Lol".

Was at gathering this weekend where I met sis-in-law's relatives. 1 relative asked me, "maganda ka naman, ba't wala kang boyfriend?" I usually have fun, playful, lighthearted comebacks ready para sa mga ganitong linyahan, pero wala ako sa mood non. When she repeated, "maganda ka naman," I just answered, "of course!" That time I was itching to say, "hindi lang ako basta maganda, matalino pa ako, well-achived, multilingual, multi-talented at marami pang iba." Nakakapikon kasi na sa dinamidami ng magandang traits at kapuri puring bagay na meron ako, lagi lagi nalang na yung wala ang napapansin ng mga taong to.

Ang weird lang, I didn't mind back in the day. Now, I do.

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There's this someone I'm seeing differently lately. 

Sabi nila, meron daw 5 love languages. Eto yung different ways kung pano NEED ng bawat individual na mahalin. Iba iba daw ang love language ng kada tao. Acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, time at touch.  And alam ko dati acts of service ang love language ko. Iniisip ko now, hindi kaya "touch"?

This happened back when I got sick. When I got back to work, this dude walked up to me para alamin kung kamusta na ko. As he did, he motioned the back of his hand towards my neck to check my temperature. E hindi naman lagnat ang sakit ko kundi stomach ache. Lol. Nakakatawa lang. Pero kahit ganun, ang sweet parin. Kahit naman before, sweet talaga tong taong to.

Still, ok... ang ambabaw. Itigil na natin to. Lol.

Pero at least, natutunan ko na weakness ko rin pala yung taong sweet. Sana sweet yung mapang-asawa ko.

--------

Contest this Friday and the next. Ayaw mag sink in. Tamad na tamad ako lately.

Mel, the gang and I are planning to book at place overnight. Tamang Netflix ang Chill lang. Ang hirap mag match ng sched lately. Matutuloy kaya to.

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I consider our dog, Gigi, as a miracle dog. Dati kasi she was so sick she was good as dead na. But I asked for her to be restored back to health nung Feast of Divine Mercy. Ngayon bukod sa magaling na sya, anlakas lakas nya pang kumain. Kahit balahibo nya naging mas soft ang silky rin. Totoo nga siguro na binubuhos ni Jesus ang Grace Nya pag FDM.

Ang alam ko, hiniling ko rin na mag flourish ang love life ko. On the way na kaya?



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:16 PM.

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"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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