on a jeep ride home kanina..

i saw my highschool ultimate crush. hindi ko talaga sya nakilala.. my umbrella almost fell on his son's face. i clumsily held it in between my knees kasi when i was fumbling through my bag in search for a hanky. said sorry. akala ko the father was just smiling in acknowledgement for that sorry. pero when he kept staring and kept smiling.. i found it really weird. maybe he saw the quizzical look on my face kaya he decided to say something.

- di ba ikaw si __, yung kapatid ni ____ na taga ___

- yeah, wait..sino ka nga po? ..

-si R-----, kaibigan ako ni (insert my bro's name here).

so, there. nagkaintindihan na..akala kung anong problema nya at bakit sya ngumingiti at nakatingin lang saken. i told him na hindi ko sya nakilala kasi he looked different. sabi nya, pero gwapo parin naman di ba? 

i then told him that my bro is gonna get married. he asked kung ako daw kelan. when i told him i dont know, he asked kung kelan ko daw balak. i dont know why i found the whole conversation flirty..or baka guni guni ko lang..

14 years back. he was this guy who asked me if he can have a dance with me on an acquaintance party. saktong sakto naman nung papalakad na kami sa dance floor, biglang hindi na sweet yung song. kahet nuon pa, lagi talaga kaming wrong timing.. liking an elder brother's friend had never been easy.. and i know its way harder on the guys side. but whatever.. its just a past now.

sighs.. i just wish, i had put some powder on kanina or kahet lipgloss man lang. hindi ko pa nakita yung panyo ko kaya hindi ko mapunasan yung pawis ko.. badtrip. wrong timing talaga.

sighs.. if things have been different, will our today be different kaya.. will his son be my son instead of someone else's? ewan ko.. or fate ba yun? yung nagset ng lahat ng barriers.. that force who made things not possible for us then? or is it us? hindi ko rin talaga alam..

i remember a book i use to read. entitled para kay b. the title says, may kota daw ang pag-ibig. the main reason why i bought it.. pero may kota nga ba? i dont know..

its just weird how we sometimes claim that we love someone, or that a certain someone is really important to us. but what's really confusing is how we just let them pass us by.. i mean, if they are really that important, why would we let them go anyway.

love is for the brave indeed.

{ 気分} an addition to my what ifs

09:11 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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