while scouting for a souvenir to bring home for tita, i saw this wood carving at a stand that looks like a man with his body hidden inside a barrel.

the guy in the shop told me that the carving is called "the barrel man". he then removed the barrel that was covering the man's body, revealing the man's springy putoots..i was so shocked. before i could hold myself up, it was too late-- i shrieked. arg.

salbahe si kuya. i knew it. i knew there was something anomalous about that carving. i was just asking for the price and the shop's kuya seem to be more interested,excited even, to tell me the carving's details.

whatever. i was just a little embarrased. i mean, see, im not really young-young whatever. things like this shouldnt be shocking me out. i must've looked so neneng. the kuya must've been laughing at me inwardly. kainezz..arg.

--

just got home from a 3 days 2 nights worth of trip.

injan and i went to baguio. just like what happened in my last year's bora trip, umulan din.wala naman akong balat sa pwet , hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung baket lagi nalang umuulan pag nag a-out if town ako. whatever.

all in all, though it swept out most of my wallet's content, it was fun naman.

i dont know how in the world the money left in my wallet would suffice for my expenses till the next payday. =(

--

i skipped my panata wednesday and feast sunday this week. feeling ko na lo-lost na naman ako.

the few days ive spent running away from the world had been fun. naging mefenamic acid ko sya in a way--a good temporary relief..

but really, it didnt cure anything.. it didnt make me forget.. it didnt fix me in anyway whatsoever.

i think im doing this the wrong way. sabi nila insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

where to go.

what to do.

ano na, now what.

feeling ko hindi ako umuusad sa buhay.

i sought for change. with so much courage, i chose it. earned it.

SO.NOW.WHAT.

ano na?what's next to this? what to do next?

it sucks how people were not born without an instruction manual in life. ang hirap mag isip. ang hirap mag decide.

kahet sa kung ano bang gusto ko hindi ko pa mapag desisyonan.

6 hours bus ride gave me the time to contemplate. i wasnt able to formulate a plan.. but i am determined to make a move.

april's about to end and i am just a couple of months away from my deadline. i need to make a decision after this. or kahet backup plan lang. naguguluhan parin ako.

ayoko na mag-isip. nag-iisip lang ako most of my life and it didnt work.

i need to act. jump. jump off the cliff. bahala na.

wahh! bahala na talaga.

hindi naman talaga ako takot mag fail. siguro tamad lang ako. or siguro, takot lang ako to go through hardship to get what i want. get it and then realize na hindi naman pala talaga yun yung gusto ko..

minsan kasi nag da-doubt na rin ako kung meron pa ba talagang makakapagpasaya saken..

hindi ko na talaga alam.. bahala na.

07:11 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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