"if all else fails..try the truth"

hey.

i should be sleeping as ill be leaving early tomorrow. pero nakakatamad matulog.

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at home the whole day today. a few days ago i was carefully planning how id spend today, pero wala. walang nangyari. i didnt fix my things. i havent even fix my bag for tomorrow. unfinished books are still waiting..downloaded series na pinaghirapan pang i download ng kapatid ko for me are now rotting here inside my computer. hindi ko rin nagawang ievaluate ang buhay ko the "30yearoldninja" way. I dont know where my day went. Hindi naman ako nanuod ng tv(except when i played hiphop abs for workout purposes)..feeling ko wala parin akong na accomplish.

im starving..

based on experience, going to bed while hungry makes it impossible for you to sleep. that's why im not yet sleeping now. im hoping for this damn hunger to subside. Ive actually just eaten. salad. ive been living with salad before and i was fine with it. but due to this damn hormones, ive been eating like a pig for the past few days (ok, not so few) and i think i somehow messed up my eating habits... oh, hunger, go away. arg.

im finding it hard to stick with atkins diet lately.. actually, ive never completed another program since the first time ive completed one. ive been trying out fasting too lately pero mas mahirap sya pangatawanan kesa sa actual diet. sa totoo lang this is no longer an issue of wanting to get fit or anything. im just trying to develop descipline. feeling ko kung magagawa ko to sa health ko, then kaya ko rin tong magawa sa ibang area pa ng buhay ko.pero pak, ang hirap, men. pero keri na. lahat naman ng bagay na worth it, mahirap.

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gumawa ako ng script para sa radio ad project ni partner. i hope ma approve. dad's bday's coming, it would be great if id earn an extra income prior to that. im thinking of going back to that co that i went to for a part time job. extra 8k a month doesnt sound so bad.. but then..urg. i dont know. i dont want to exchange my time for the money. meron bang work na hindi kakain ng time pero kikita ka ng money? 

ok. well, not that im broke or anything. i CAN spend money for dad's birthday. i just want to be more careful in spending. i think i could use some more savings. i need that to expand my options once i figured out what im gonna do next with my life. pati pala yun hindi ko parin naiisip. feeling ko kasi bigla nalang may iilaw na light bulb sa ibabaw ng ulo ko habang naglalakad ako sa kalye at bigla nalang akong magkakaron ng idea sa kung anong gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko.

sometimes i just want to pack my bag and run away. seek for my own adventure.

pero may part din saken na gusto lang i organize ang buhay ko at ayusin yun ng ayon sa gusto ko. 

iniisip ko kung ano bang definition ko ng success. ano bang definition ko ng happy at fulfilling na buhay.

sa tingin ko.. may idea na ko.

11:03 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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