but not really.

will be going to some forclosed property investing seminar tom. i hope yang will come with me.

and then,there'll be a warmth servers' meeting on sun, so im hoping for a productive weekend ahead.. if productivity equates to activity that is.. but well, let's just give it a rest.

rest. i want rest. doing nothing is not suppose to exhaust me but i really feel exhausted. drained. dead bat and all.

been reviewing the list of things i want to achieve inside my head. i memorized it by heart.

i wonder if these are the things i really want for myself. or are these things, things that the society, the norm had thought me to want because these are what everybody else want--or thought they want.

what do i want? sometimes, when i try to be brutally honest with myself, i realize im not liking my own answers.

i dont want my decision to be based on fear. i dont want it to be based on what other people's idea of a good thing is either..

among my list, i only got one thing that im truly certain.

that, i dont want to be an employee anymore.

dont get me wrong, i believe that having a job is good. i believe that job is a blessing and i myself feels truly blessed that i have one now. but see, i want freedom. i sought freedom even when i was a child. my definition of freedom had sure evolved, but essentially, its the same thing. freedom. its something i couldnt get while having a job. freedom.

freedom. i know our ancestors fought with their life to claim it. i wonder if i too will have to engage in bloody battles to gain my freedom.

sighs...

will be revising my list. junking what seems to be realistic and sticking to the balance of what i really what and what's achievable. one can only do so much in one's life time. we got to choose the best ones and let go of the rest i guess.

{ 本} the richest man in babylon

07:30 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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