C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S

. December 29, 2014

before 2014 ends

3 days before the year ends.

this holiday season is making me so lonely.

foods, feasts, people are everywhere and yet i never feel more alone.

2015 soon. ive read the goals ive written in different notebooks i have. i feel like ive failed myself again this time. but i dont want to be hard on myself anymore. i feel sad, yes. i feel frustrated, yes. i feel lonely, yes. and i am still taking the responsibilities for all these. but dont want to consider everything as my fault. its not anyone else's fault either. i just want to think of ways on how can i make things better this time around and i refuse to blame anyone, including myself, including the circumstances and everything else.

i just wish i dont feel this bad.

the past few days had been low.

i feel like i was back to my old self who doesnt mind losing her life because she doesnt like it anyway. i know i dont wanna go back there..

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i hope that as 2014 leaves, it will take all this negativity and sadness and loneliness with it..

please heavens..

04:18 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

4 コメント

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deliriousdelight

Comment posted on December 30th, 2014 at 03:32 PM

list down your achievements instead. i'm sure marami :) pat yourself in the back cuz you deserve it :)

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cinderellaareus

Comment posted on January 2nd, 2015 at 03:00 PM

thanks..ill try that--next year..haha.. i sort of forgot what ive achieved for this year. hehe.. but you're right, maybe im focusing to much on what i failed to get forgetting what ive gotten. or something close to that. haha

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Third

Comment posted on December 29th, 2014 at 09:30 PM

Charlie Brown: “I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?”

Perhaps going back to the real reason for the holiday might help i.e. spending time with family/friends, spiritual reasons, etc.

Have a great last few days of the year, friend. :3

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cinderellaareus

Comment posted on January 2nd, 2015 at 03:08 PM

thanks, i actually had a great last few days of the year.

i guess the holiday season was just too 'noisy' for me. you know..the facebook kind of noisy, ganun. its just so hard not to compare ur life to someone else's.

but yeah,"Perhaps going back to the real reason for the holiday might help". i totally agree.

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