3 days before the year ends.

this holiday season is making me so lonely.

foods, feasts, people are everywhere and yet i never feel more alone.

2015 soon. ive read the goals ive written in different notebooks i have. i feel like ive failed myself again this time. but i dont want to be hard on myself anymore. i feel sad, yes. i feel frustrated, yes. i feel lonely, yes. and i am still taking the responsibilities for all these. but dont want to consider everything as my fault. its not anyone else's fault either. i just want to think of ways on how can i make things better this time around and i refuse to blame anyone, including myself, including the circumstances and everything else.

i just wish i dont feel this bad.

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the past few days had been low.

i feel like i was back to my old self who doesnt mind losing her life because she doesnt like it anyway. i know i dont wanna go back there..

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i hope that as 2014 leaves, it will take all this negativity and sadness and loneliness with it..

please heavens..

04:18 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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