when im depressed, i eat.

when im worried, i cant eat.

well i dont really think i am, but judging from the way ive been eating lately, i must be really really depressed. 

sighs.

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we went for a trip to quiapo yesterday. its been a while since i last went to manila. i guess im no longer use to the smoke and noise and terrible traffic jam of both vehicles and people.

we decided to see the church since its around the area and we have a few minutes to spare. i get to kneel down a pew by squeezing myself between a bunch of people. i wished to at least touch the nazareno, but the line was so long i settled to the one we saw in a street near the church. i wonder if quiapo church is always full like this.

i saw people walking on their knees. there were a lot of them. i dont know but the sight saddens me. is this how "faith" suppose to be like?? i dont know. it just feel so wrong to me. i just remember one of fr. m's homily about sister faustina. it seems to me that God is inviting us to come to him. that he WANTS us to come to Him. that He's actually accessible to us. i just dont understand why some people makes "faith" looks like a "sacrifice" when it doesnt really have too. pero siguro sadyang kanya kanyang trip lang yan. i mean, who am i to judge?

truth be told, i wasnt entirely happy about this pope francis thing. normally, i love seeing hope in people. and when i found out that pope francis is coming here, it was hope that i was expecting people will find when he comes. i watched most of the footage. i didnt see hope. maybe there were fragments of it, tainted with commercialism and idolatry and something else. i really dont know. im just not happy about it. i know its not pope francis' fault. i dont know whose fault it is. im just sad about it i cant even explain why. 

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just came back from a hospital trip today. i think im making the hospital owner rich already. had some tests and about to go back by the evening for some more. i feel like im starting to become a professional lab rat.

had a talk with the doctor-a cardiologist. i think i like it when im talking to people who know they're doing. made we wish that im a cardiologist too. i think its natural for people to wish to be something they're not.

i just wonder if it will ever be possible to want something that you already have...because it seems to me that its always the other way around.

12:03 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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