i dont think i am the type who gets attached to past achievements. I actually have a short-term memory for happy stuff. and yet im feeling some things shifting recently.. clearly, one will cling to the past when there's no where else left to cling on to.

im trying to fix things. the external world looks promising and i think what really hinders me is something inside. i sure dont have the money yet to get on with my plan, but i believe that if you're really up to something, money will just show itself... just as the cliche "when you want something, the world will conspire with you.. " goes..(yeah, it somewhat became a cliche now).

brought my RCD book to the office today. im trying to familiarize myself with concrete design in case the plan that i made with my cousin will get to pass soon. been staring at one page to another and its a bit scary that i cant seem to remember anything. damn this.

they say you need 10,000 hours to be a master of something. i dont have so many 10,000 hours anymore. im scared that if i made the wrong choice as to where im gonna use my time on, i might end up wasting those precious hours that should've been spent with the right thing.. but then i know that time will not stop until i figure out what i want to do.

indecision that comes from not knowing what you really want sucks. pero sabi sa librong nabasa ko, stop asking what you wanna do. ask instead what you can do for the benefit of your family, or the society, or for your country.. or on what the Heavens wants you to do. I think, maybe, if i want to be something bigger than myself then i should start thinking more than myself--something other than myself. ive always been a bit self-centered. i know it will take a lot of me to do so.

but really now.. i know i just want to start a new chapter of my life and end this one.

{ 音楽} pink-true love

12:21 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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