yeah, monday na monday, mejo suicidal mode na ko. nakakadepress ang mga bagay bagay sa office. iniisip ko nga kung makakauwi pa ba ko ng buhay... hayy..

nakakadepress na ang daming bagay bagay na hindi ko maayos. naisip ko lang na maybe all these wouldnt be so depressing of only im not doing these all on my own. hayy ulet.

haaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

---

was actually happy yesterday. after months of not showing up, i went to my greeter's duty again. i was with jenny. we met up at GIG and it was AWESOME!!!.. the title was "a thing called direction." parang ginaya sa "a thing called tadhana". the talk was about discernment. discernment as in, ano bang life ang pipiliin mo, single life? married life? or consecrated life? ganung klaseng discernment.  they invited 4 speakers. si dr. d at albert zabala ung representative ng married life. ms. meann tee ung sa single life and si fr. pipo ung sa consecrated life. at ang galing nilang lahat.

even fr. pipo lumelevel din sa kulit. i thought he will be this demure-demure conservative type, but no, he wasnt. he made people crack up when the topic about sex was brought up and he mentioned about "protection" and that it can be bought in 7-11.. it was really funny. 

pero yung natandaan ko talagang line from him e yung, "do not reduce sexuality to sex"... or something like that. basta ganun.

natuwa rin ako dun sa take nilang lahat sa premarital sex. basta... ang galing lang. 

albert zabala mentioned about reading that same book that ive read for a lot of times already. nabanggit nya yung 2 words na naging sagot sa discernment process na ginawa nung author.. yung "you" at "choose".. or "you choose"

you choose.

jenny and i talked about it over lunch..

tas syempre ung tanong na "so, ano, nadiscern mo na ba yung direction mo?"... 2 people asked me that same question that day. 3 if idadagdag ko yung sarili ko.. hehe.. so, na-discern ko na ba??

well, dati pa naman, nadiscern ko na.

jenny then asked me, "e pano kung may ibang will pala si God?"

i think ive been asking the same thing for more than a decade now. 

i answered jen, "hindi mo pwedeng sabihing iba yung will ni God sa will mo hangga't hindi mo pa nagagawa lahat ng kaya mong gawin to get it."

we teach best what we need most to learn indeed.

naalala ko tuloy yung mga bagay na gustong gusto kong makuha noon tas hindi ko nakuha. i ended up concluding na "baka hindi ito para saken." even before the race ended. even before i start to fight. walang sense di ba?

feeling ko eto yung mga case na may gusto kang makuha but you're not willing to pay the price to get it so you resign into thinking na baka hindi para sayo... kahet hindi mo pa nasusubukan. kahet hindi ka pa lumalaban. katamaran ba o kaduwagan, hindi ko rin alam. basta.

basta naisip ko lang, from now on, ayoko nang i tolerate yung ganung excuse. bago ko iisipin na hindi para saken ang isang bagay, sisiguraduhin ko munang nagawa ko na lahat ng pwede kong gawin. yung as in nasubukan ko na talaga lahat ng option na meron ako. ganun.

---

x-factor ung topic sa feast. about finding  your passion. sa totoo lang stress na stress ako everytime na sinusubukan kong hanapin kung ano ba yung passion ko. yung gift ko. sabi kasi namamatay daw yung gift pag hindi mo na nu-nurture.. kaya pa kayang buhayin yung gift pag namatay na sya? hayy.. kawawa naman yung gift ko... namatay na walang kalaban laban. sana alam nyang sinubukan ko naman syang hanapin. at hinahanap ko parin sya just in case lang na buhay pa pala sya at naghihingalo lang... hay, grabe naiimagine ko talaga toooo..my poor gift. huhu.

---

will be going to sis-in-law's place this sun. fiesta daw e. ive been into hermit mode for what feels like forever lately and now i find myself craving for human interaction. yesterday turned out to be a good one. next week, it will too...

---

sa totoo lang, ang tough parin ng buhay ko lately. pero natutuwa parin ako dahil most of the time, naayos din naman lahat. or kung hindi man, may mangyayari parin na for the better.. or if i'm lucky, minsan for the best pa.

siguro sadyang kailangan nga lang magpatuloy.

03:25 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

2 コメント