Entries for April, 2025
Namimiss ko nang kiligin.
14th month of being tambay. Kelan ba ko huling nakakita ng lalaki? Lol.
Yung kuya joyride car na pasado sa type ko 5 years ago, but not now.
Yung cute JP hottie na kumindat pa sakin dun sa resto sa Japan kung saan kumain kami with the TMs in Tokyo.
And that guy. Ugh.
And that other guy. Ugh ulet.
Buhayin ko kaya yung dating profile ko? Kaso wala akong bagong picture. I'm trying to grow my hair, but 8 months since I cut it, pero wala pa atang 2 inches ang hinaba. Also, pano pag tinanong ako about my work, ano sasabihin ko? Tambay? Di ba nakakahiya.
This is the longest I've been unemployed. I think of things like, pag nagka work na ko, I'll join this speed dating event in Makati, or try aerial yoga, or join Toastmasters again, yada yada.
Para bang I'm putting my life on hold until a certain condition is met. I don't like putting my life on hold, because tomorrow is never guaranteed.
I follow this gay couple in IG. Sa totoo lang, kahit hardcore BL lover ako, my love for gay stuff is exclusive for 2D men lang. Hindi naman talaga ako nagshi ship ng real-life men. I mean, if they're good, I'd rather have them for myself than to hand them over to another guy, right? But this couple if different. They look so in-love, it's heartwarming. They have this post that says, "loving you is so easy" or something. Wow. Easy. I wanna have that. Yung love na hindi mo kailangang paghirapan. Yung parang natural na nagki click. Yung kusang nagfa fall ang mga bagay bagay into place. Sure, maybe you need to nurture it along the way, and make effort, pero minsan may mga bagay talaga that feel easy, di ba?
I want to find love. The easiest one possible.
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Tomorrow, I'm gonna make a big decision that could change my life. I'm fvcking scared. I pray that the Heavens will guide me, and give me wisdom. I pray that the Heavens will keep supporting me. Na in the event na magkamali ako ng decision, nandyan parin Sya to make things work, fix my blunders, and make things better.
Big hug, Lord. Bahala ka na.
03:42 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
Slept 10 hours today. My eyes have been acting weird, I can't really stay up at night anymore.
Kagabi, bumaba ako sa first floor ng bahay namin few minutes before midnight kung kelan walang tao. Epic yung goosebumps at chills. Kumanta na ko ng worship songs, pero hindi parin nawala. Kailangan ko na siguro magsimba.
Palm Sunday in a few days. Magsisimba naman siguro kami.
My nephew's birthday celebration also happens this month too. This hermit is excited to see more people.
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I have a lot of issues with my body lately. Una, sumasakit ang mata ko around 11PM, forcing me to sleep early at hindi na ko nakaka cellphone. I also need to wear my eye glasses all the time these days due to eye discomfort. I don't usually wear eye glasses at home. Tapos, I can't eat past the point of feeling half-full. I'd have breathing problems if I do. I only eat half of what I usually eat these days. Hindi ko naman ikinapayat. Well, I think eating less and sleeping more will benefit me in the long run, but then I also have this other issue with no benefit at all. I have this rash on my back that looks like shingles. Masakit sya. It's healing and nearly gone now, but the pain is still there.
Other than that, I'm pretty content with my life. Actually, EVEN with that, I still feel content. I do need money like everyone else, pero naniniwala ako na money will come. MONEY IS COMING. Also healing. Also love.
05:19 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
The kid in the neighborhood died today. He's probably late teens or early 20s. He used to help us get my cat, Hamanya, off the neighbor's roof. Hindi kami close, but he seemed like a good kid. He was tall and not bad looking.
Kaninang madaling araw daw bumangga yung motor nya sa poste. Mom overheard his elder brother crying while calling out their mom's name. Probably around that time. I saw some monoblock chairs getting arranged on their front yard. Sabi ni Mama, kahapon lang e nag linis yung batang yun ng bakuran nila.
Ang bilis ng pangyayari.
Hindi kami close, pero ang depressing parin ng atmosphere.
His mom's quite easygoing. She's often having drinking sessions sa bakuran nila hanggang madaling araw. That kid was the one she used to rely on, running errands for her. I wonder how she felt losing her son. Nalungkot kaya sya? Umiyak ba sya? Will she absent-mindedly call his name tomorrow morning to make him run errands, forgetting he's already dead?
Bakit ang fragile ng katawan ng tao?
07:03 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
