I woke up fresh from a dream this morning.

Pagpasok ko sa room ko, na currently in real life e room na ng cats, nakita ko dun si Tita E, my tita who passed away a week ago. Dun sa dream, mejo bago pa yung room ko at walang mga pusa. Pagbukas ko ng pinto, I saw Tita E with her back facing the window, looking at me. Maaliwalas ang mukha nya at medyo humaba ang buhok. She was smiling. The first thing she asked me was, "anong pangarap mo?" To which I answered with, "yumaman". She laugh good-naturedly. She then asked me kung anong trabaho ko. Hindi ko maalala kung ano ba ang sinagot ko dun. Tapos sabi nya, "ako may trabaho na". She mentioned na tinulungan daw sya ni Nene (my cousin na inaanak nya). I was guessing she meant na tinulungan syang humanap ng trabaho. She started searching for her notebook as if to show me something about her job. Kaso, ayun, nagising na ko.

Dreaming of the dead usually scares me, but I was kinda happy when I woke up. Pinagtataka ko lang e bakit naisipan ni Tita na dalawin ako. Mom said, "paborito ka kaya ng tita mo." I never felt that though. She used to give me a lot of stuff. She was an OFW. And everytime she came back sa Pinas, lagi syang may pasalubong. 3 pairs of gold earrings, 1 white gold necklace, 2 gold necklaces (with pendant), 1 gold pendant (without necklace), 1 gold ring, stuffed toy, pabango, small book-- ito yung mga naalala kong gifts na narecieve ko kay Tita bukod pa sa mga chocolates at hair accessories. All the jewelries were real gold and pawnable. Sabi ni mama, ako lang daw sa pamangkin ang binigyan ng mga jewelries. Yung pinsan ko na inaanak nya, hindi daw binigyan. Her reason was that, sakin daw kasi, nakikita nya yung mga binigay yan. The ones she gave sa mga daughters-in-law nya, naisanla na daw. I think she knew though na yung iba sa bigay nya, kahit di namin sinanla, e nawala na. Like, all the earrings e kalahati nalang. I still have the necklaces, except sa white gold one na winala ng kapatid ko. Still, emotionally, I don't think I was Tita's favorite whatsoever.

It could be just a dream. Baka hindi naman talaga nya ko dinalaw. She's been gone for only a week afterall. Pero kahit ganun, I felt reassured na mukhang happy sya dun sa dream. I asked chatgpt to interpret the dream for me, and it said na I have ancestral blessings daw. Yay, I guess.

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No contact from the company. I wonder if nagbago na ang isip nila about my application. I hope they'll let me know sooner para makapag start na ko with my other project. Sana nga totoong may ancestral blessings ako. I may not be the most kind-hearted person in the room. Alam kong masama ang ugali ko, and I have terrible temper. But in my heart, I want wealth because I want to give my family and pets a good life. I can live simpler, but that won't do kung meron kang mga taong inaalagaan. Magsisinungaling din ako kung sasabihin ko na I don't want good things for myself. Damn, I love good things. I want to eat good stuff. Visit good places.

Well, I guess I just want to justify why I deserve blessings. I hope my ancestors are really blessing me.

04:46 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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