Entries for October, 2011
when things are at worst, you can only expect it to be better, right?
dad run away from home after having a quarrel w/ my bro yesterday. he didnt come home last night. he dont have money. it rained and the night was cold and he's only wearing sando and his usual shorts made of thin fabrics..i just hope he slept somewhere warm...i hope he's fine now...i dont know if he'll ever come back..i just dont wanna think anymore.
my week was just as bad. i said goodbye to two people. you see, i suck at goodbye. and goodbyes suck..pak..and now my dad...for some reason the word suddenly feels foreign...and the world itself feels foreign...
i feel like an alien.
07:50 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
am i strong?
or simply indifferent?
does indiffence equate lack of love?
am i human? am i still human?
03:19 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
pakiramdam ko nakalunok ako ng bubog today.
you know i hate drama...that's why whenever i sense a strong emotion trying to surface itself within me, i usualy back out, run, or react as if the opposite is true.. i dont know why but my own feelings scare me most of the time..
just like now..may nalunok ata akong bubog..pak..ang saket..
11:16 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
tough times...i had a lot of these in the past..i thought being sick would be the worst. but it turned out that life could offer far more..
another tough times... i wanna believe that the BIG daddy up there has something in store for me..i dont wanna wish for what i want...i just wish that what HE wants would happen..and that whatever it is..sana kayanin...sana /..
12:02 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
ang paghihintay ko sa bus kagabi, grabe, HARDCORE..nag-out ako sa office ng 8 at 9 na ko nakasakay..
naisip ko tuloy...ang paghihintay sa bus..parang paghihintay lang rin ng prince charming...
tae no..you will think that its bound to come, so you wont be running after the ones who get past you...but sometimes, bus doesnt come,you know..
08:01 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
OK siguro magkaron ng amnesia..
wala kang nakaraang babalikan..
wala kang idea sa kung anong plinano mo para sa kinabukasan..
wala kang kilala..kaya wala kang inaalala...hindi ka mag-aalala para sa iba..
at malaya mong mapipili ang hinaharap...
masarap siguro magkaron ng anmesia..tapos gumawa ng bagong buhay na ayon sa gusto mo..
pathetic nga na sa kagustuhan kong ayusin ang buhay ko..amnesia nalang ang naiisip kong paraan....tae no..
*EMO*
11:16 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
i saw this at fb:
it sucks when you know that you need to let go but cant, because you're still waiting for the IMPOSSIBLE to happen..
ayos...hindi ako nakailag dun ha..pak..
healthy pa ba to??
sadya lang bang believer lang ako ng milagro?sadyang matigas ang ulo?
baby, there are many fish in the sea...
katulad ng bus..maraming bus...hindi nga lang un ung bus na kaylangan mo...ang hirap talagang maghintay sa bus...kaya ko pa bang hintayin ang bus??magtaxi nalang kaya ko??tae no..
11:56 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
hindi ko alam kung baket kailangan kitang paulit ulit na pakinggan...
03:13 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
i dont wanna cry..i might look weak...
i dont wanna get angry..that wont look cool...
i dont wanna complain...that would make me look incompetent...
not too loud..
all in moderation..
all toned down...
i wonder how did i came to be like this...like a robot...this is how i trained to be independent...did i became one?
the KA of zalakaluna added me on facebook..i thought i'd never see her again..
zalakaluna...such a lame name...where is the us now?...people change..i too changed much. i wonder if KA and i will talk the same way we did back in the days...im no longer the ZA she knew..i know im no longer am..
i hate that i changed..
i hate that i didnt change..
hey CHANGE...cant we just get along?
03:30 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
kung kahapon ako nagsulat ng entry eto siguro sasabihin ko.
its not doing me any good..and its not doing you any good either...kaya siguro tama na..
pero ngaun kasi, im so tired, so sleepy, and so wanna go home to even think about you...pak. that's a lie though..
pero tama na ha..
for you,
for me,
tama na...
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ang saket ng katawan ko..feeling ko isa kong boxingero..or kargador...tae, nag-aral pa ko ng 5years para maging kargador..tae.
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I've been reading beastly...sadyang hindi pa talaga ko nakakagraduate sa mga fairytale..i so love beast..i wish he didnt turn back into a prince nalang...tae..fairy tales..aint i too old for this?chebers..
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my bro pissed me off last night..when angry i learned not to speak. afterall, every word will just be wasteD to someone who doesnt know how to understand. to narrow-minded people who resorted to counteract their ineptitude with rudeness and violence.
maybe that's the reason why im into gentle guys..not the typical gentleman type and all, but rather the one who's innately gentlE..not just as a guy but as a person...i've met a few...i know one now..him...kaso, someone else discovered him first. i wonder if ive ever met one again..
i remember beast.. he had gotten two years to find true love.. i wonder what's my time limit..for sure i dont have forever, dont i?
11:34 AMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
