while staring at  the walls earlier this morning, i had that thought again.

maybe  because yang's planning to do it too..

and really, what's there lose?

a side of my brain says, "a lot" and i know that a lot of people are depending on me, but the other says, " so what?"

ive done this twice... what's weird is that im scared because im no longer scared.

see, i have the knack of deciding things that are worst for me and put myself into trouble. i guess i just want to push myself against the wall in the hope that maybe, id start doing incredible things once i lose all my options.

maybe im being selfish.

but i dont want to use my responsibilities nor the idea that other people depend on me as an excuse to not jump off and settle for a life i do not want.

this time being selfish sounds better..

or maybe..

im just lacking sleep.

whatever.

01:38 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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