Entries for July, 2014



hello productivity
: July 2, 2014



ugh.

what's happening to me. a few days after deciding im gonna organize my life through planning and implementation and now this. for the past few day ive been spending my time staring at my pc doing nothing. my larry gamboa book is just a few pages away from completion and yet hindi ko parin sya binabasa. i bought "the richest man in babylon" book and aim to finish it before the next payday when id be buying another one. pero anong petsa na ba?

tinatamad na naman ako...wahhh..this is not good. im nowhere near accomplishing my 90-day goal. and worst, im not doing anything about it. ive been spending a lot of time doing nothing and ive been staring at walls more often lately. ugh. hello productivity.

the day after i attended the technical analysis seminar for stock market trading, i tried out the principles right away and there.. red numbers are now flooding my portfolio..wahhh!!pwedeng umiyak??waahhh!!.. maybe i got the lecture wrong. even yang doesnt seem impressed when i told her the companies that ive traded in. may mali ata sa pagkakaintindi ko sa lecture..huhu..

sighsss...

i think i need to remind myself again and again on why im doing all these in the first place.

i hate not having a choice. i know it was i who had place myself in this situation. i may not sound like it, but really, i have no regrets whatsoever. still, i do want to get myself out of this.

sighs.. may gamot ba to induce motivation. pak this.

 

{ music } 99 red balloons
{ book } grow rich pinoy



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Written by cinderellaareus at 01:52 PM.

2 comments






: July 4, 2014



i was about to go home yesterday when a security personnel approached me.

after a few talks he then said, "magaling ka palang magtagalog no?"

and i was like, "ano daw???".. i mean, hey, pilipinas to. pinoy ako. hindi ba normal lang na magaling akong magtagalog?

it took me a while to process all that.

i use to get annoyed whenever some security people kept talking to me in english. thinking, 'ano bang problema ng mga to?' . ngayon ko lang narealize kung baket.

anak nang..

mag iisang taon na ko rito, akala parin nila hindi ako marunong magtagalog. weird.

made me remember back then during the bcp drill when i was with the evening people in our acct. i dont know what happened basta our manager then just told off the people behind me and said,

"pagkwentuhan nyo pa ha.. pinoy yan. nagtatagalog yan. naiintindihan kayo nyan."

really, i know i look every bit pinoy. but my job can sure cause so much misunderstanding.

{ mood } #feelingforeigner



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:39 AM.

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hooorayyy to friday!!
: July 4, 2014



today, i successfully escaped my way out from another socializing event.

dang, im becoming my hermit self again.

what's really odd is  that i felt ubermegaextra relieved.

but whatever. i guess all are how buzzfeed say it.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/samstryker/why-go-out-when-you-can-stay-in

yay to weekend.. all smiles.

i escaped the saturday event too. i know i vowed to go out every weekend to expand my world.. but i feel like my things are in a mess and would do some cleaning (i swear im not making this all up to avoid socialization)..

ahh.. plus a good book and movie marathon and sound tripping sounds lovely.

oh, here i come, weekend.

--

but still, sunday will have to pass. its something that i look forward afterall. bro. bo asks us to wear corporate clothes to this sunday's feast for fun. something we'd wear once we got promoted to a position we aim. i do not really aim any position in my current job but i do aim for an upgrade in my career life. i guess ill still be joining that dressing up thingy. yay!

i need to make kalkal my baul of clothes to see i have anything that looks corporate. i hope id find one.

--

happy weekend everyone! =)

{ mood } in a state of food coma



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:58 PM.

4 comments





teehee
: July 5, 2014



natawa naman ako dito..haha

jeez..kaylangan ko na magdiet.

aja! fighting!

{ music } nena-99 luftballons
{ show } i-witness
{ mood } food coma parin. this should stop.ugh



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:54 PM.

2 comments





please don't go down
: July 10, 2014



masama talaga sa puso ko ang stockmarket =(

{ mood } scared. terrified.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:14 AM.

2 comments





180 degrees turn + its friday!!!
: July 11, 2014



i turned left

i turned right

i counted sheeps..

counted goats..

counted dinosaurs..

but it just wont do

*damn insomnia..

..

joke lang. insomnia hadnt been visiting me for quite some time now that it actually feels odd.

--

oh, look, its friday again!

dad's birthday celebration on sun. people at home will do some general cleaning tom.

exposure to dusts gives me sneezing fit and barely touching detergent soap immediately peels my skin, so i guess the best thing i could do to help in that general cleaning thing would be to get out of the way. i guess ill be seeing injan tomorrow.

relatives to the nth degree will come and some family friends too. introverted as i am, i still love mingling with relatives i havent met yet. it makes me feel  like i belong to something big. something grand. i dont know. i feel like meeting them is connecting me to some ancient history whatever.

--

birthdays left and right are killing my month's budget(not to mention, my diet).

baket ba ang mahal mahal mahal mahal mahal ng cake(tapos nakakataba pa)!! T_T

i think i need to learn how to bake soon so as to cut cost.

 

 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:00 AM.

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n years
: July 11, 2014



matagal na tayong friends sa facebook.

matagal narin tayong HINDI NA friends(or at least not as we were before) in real life.

pero ngayon ko lang inistalk ang facebook mo.

takte lang..

namimiss parin talaga kita paminsan minsan..

{ mood } remembering someone



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:48 PM.

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random thoughts on a thursday
: July 17, 2014



a few pages from my "the richest man in babylon" book and its starting to invade my dreamland already. i feel like i didnt sleep at all.

a few minutes ago, i was sleeping (while at the office---i hope this is perfectly legal) when the phone beeped. grabe panic mode.. antok na antok parin talaga ko. ugh.

--

so, how are things going? so far im not happy with my progress. i feel like ive been slacking off lately. i jotted a few lists of things that i want/need to  do but still, i am yet to formulate a plan on how to get them.

ive long finished my entry for the contest. i actually written 2 entries since im not satisfied with the first one yet. i still find the 2nd one so-so. i think i'll be writing the 3rd. im still in need of a picture. i dont know if it has to be original. just to make sure, i plan on sending an original one. contest is due on the 21st, anong petsa na? sighs..

--

my phone has been busy this week. 4 companies contacted me and another one sent me an email. weird because im not even sending an application.  sssssssssssighhhhs.. ive been hearing things i dont want to hear again. i dont want to be shaken from what i have long decided. ive been closing my ears to things i dont want to hear. i wonder if this is still healthy.

a friend, nini, was asking me to send her my cv. she said she got a client in need of a bridge engineer they'll gonna send to france. i said sure, but days passed and i am yet to send my cv. what's wrong with me? ugh.

its just that, i dont think i want to work abroad. i know i can earn way higher salary in there.. pero  ayoko parin talaga. i do want to GO abroad.. but i dont want to stay there. i dont know..

--

anak ng... mukhang uulan na naman..

--

a friend just sent me this link

http://maypasokba.com/

http://maypasokba.com/pumasok-ka-ba/

haha.. laughtrip

 

 

{ mood } starving



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Written by cinderellaareus at 10:14 AM.

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if you need a good cry
: July 20, 2014



got this from

http://9gag.com/gag/a8WPNQ1?ref=android.s.fb

This Dog’s Final Day Proves: We Should Live Every Day Like It’s Our Last

This Dog’s Final Day Proves: We Should Live Every Day Like It’s Our Last
----
im still not sure on what my take is on euthanasia. But im pretty sure that to any of my dogs, i dont think ill ever consider that as an option. i heard people's take on this thing.. i guess we just love differently and there's nothing wrong with that.
i hugged my dog tight after reading this. she's our eldest dog among the 7 dogs we had. she's around 9 years old. the thought of her dying is just unimaginable.
i wonder if dogs go to heaven too.. i dont know if afterlife do exist. im not even confident that id land in there. but still, the thought of that little chance of meeting again up there in eternity comforts me.
life after death may not be something we could be certain about. life now is what we have. so, allow yourself to love people, pets, ideas.. hug your mom, hug your pets, hug your spouse, your friends.. care, get hurt, fail, succeed, hope, lose hope, move on, set out on an adventure, fall,sing dance, be foolish, be crazy.. be human.. life is what we got..let's make the most out of it.
sighs..
RIP dukey.. sending loves <3

{ mood } tearful



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:48 PM.

2 comments





very smart
: July 20, 2014



got no work tom since its japan's holiday.

and tom's the deadline of the COL's contest.

and yes, i left my entry in my office PC..

very smart.

arg.

{ mood } #startingalloveragain ←not love related



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Written by cinderellaareus at 04:10 PM.

2 comments





Conversations
: July 22, 2014



siguro hindi lang ako ang nag iisang bored na tao sa mundo..

umuulan nga naman kasi..

..

a friend and i was chatting on skype talking about his plan on setting up a company and all until the conversation went into something like this:

Friend: may isa pa ako option, gusto ko mag hermitanyo, magtatayo ako ng kubo sa kagubatan.. tapos dun ko na ipagpapatuloy yung pag aaral ko ng magic and alchemy... pag na discover ko na philosopher stone, pwede na ako mag transmute ng lead to gold...

me: hahaha.. sobrang realistic ng option mo. lol. pero kanya kanyang  trip lang yan e..haha

Friend: pero dapat may internet yung kubo.

me: modern na hermitanyo..lol

teka,what made u think na nasa kagubatan yung philosopher stone?

Friend: pag nadiscover ko na philosopher stone, bentahan kita ng elixir of immortality, mura lang sau, presyong kaibigan.

me: hahaha.. mgkano? lols..pero gusto ko yung lead na nagiging gold..magiging effortless na pagpapayaman ko..haha

Friend: sa kagubatan dahil tahimik, walang distraction... pwede ako mag experiment sa laboratory.

me: ahhh.. so iinvent mo sya.. hindi mo sya hahanapin??hahaha.. push mo yan <insert friend’s name here>..lols..

laboratory sa kubo in the middle of the forest tas my internet..haha..

--

pinaglololoko ako ng lokong to..haha.

mom said my ideas are crazy.. i wonder what she'll say once she meet my friends.

{ book } TRMIB
{ mood } #birdsofthesamefeather #nerdyfriends



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Written by cinderellaareus at 02:26 PM.

5 comments





gif gif
: July 24, 2014



things not going out as planned.

nakakaemo. umuulan pa.

sh*t. ano nang gagawin ko ngayon?

it sucks how my backup plan/s are just as lousy as my 1st choice.

ano na, self? damn..

sighs..

--

read an article about someone who gave up on his dream.. i could almost taste the pain..am i heading to that direction too?

"rest if you must, but dont you quit"

kailangan ko lang kaya ng rest? or should i just slow down a bit... my progress had been snail paced as it is,, slowing down ba talaga ang kailangan ko?

hindi ko na alam..

 

depressive eating for days and counting..i know this wont help..

 

i guess i just need some space to breathe.. 

 



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Written by cinderellaareus at 08:26 AM.

7 comments





happy friday
: July 25, 2014



but not really.

will be going to some forclosed property investing seminar tom. i hope yang will come with me.

and then,there'll be a warmth servers' meeting on sun, so im hoping for a productive weekend ahead.. if productivity equates to activity that is.. but well, let's just give it a rest.

rest. i want rest. doing nothing is not suppose to exhaust me but i really feel exhausted. drained. dead bat and all.

been reviewing the list of things i want to achieve inside my head. i memorized it by heart.

i wonder if these are the things i really want for myself. or are these things, things that the society, the norm had thought me to want because these are what everybody else want--or thought they want.

what do i want? sometimes, when i try to be brutally honest with myself, i realize im not liking my own answers.

i dont want my decision to be based on fear. i dont want it to be based on what other people's idea of a good thing is either..

among my list, i only got one thing that im truly certain.

that, i dont want to be an employee anymore.

dont get me wrong, i believe that having a job is good. i believe that job is a blessing and i myself feels truly blessed that i have one now. but see, i want freedom. i sought freedom even when i was a child. my definition of freedom had sure evolved, but essentially, its the same thing. freedom. its something i couldnt get while having a job. freedom.

freedom. i know our ancestors fought with their life to claim it. i wonder if i too will have to engage in bloody battles to gain my freedom.

sighs...

will be revising my list. junking what seems to be realistic and sticking to the balance of what i really what and what's achievable. one can only do so much in one's life time. we got to choose the best ones and let go of the rest i guess.

{ book } the richest man in babylon



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Written by cinderellaareus at 07:30 AM.

5 comments





not a premonition--i hope not
: July 29, 2014



im only 28..turning 29 in a few months..

will i die at 28?

i dont think im scared..

i think im just...

sad.

{ mood } sick and paranoid



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:47 AM.

7 comments





0729
: July 29, 2014



happy anniversary, work

{ mood } neutral



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Written by cinderellaareus at 03:56 PM.

3 comments





it feels like friday everyday
: July 30, 2014



i ran just to get to the office on time this morning. being late is somewhat good for my heart afterall.

reached the biometrics flat on time. cursed the elevator and ran my way up our floor only to stare blank-faced in front of my phone realizing, i forgot my password. pak. yeah, i just turned 1 year here yesterday and im still forgetting my password (but, hey this is the first time it happened!!←yeah, whatever).

---

yesterday, i got home with my brother happily announcing the they have bought baby items for his about to be born child already. he showed me the items which are mostly green and blue with prints of cars, balls and boyish stuff. obviously, my brother is hoping for a boy. he keeps on postponing his wife's ultrasound because he wants to extend having his little hope for a baby boy. and so just to annoy him, i asked, "where are the baby headbands?"..

hmm..really, i often find babies, or children in general, noisy and annoying. but right now i really cant help but share my brother's excitement.

---

im thinking of a way on how i can "graciously" escape my way to another sunday event. ive been escaping a lot lately. this is soooo not good.

{ book } same same same
{ mood } sick still



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:53 AM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
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