C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S

木曜日. June 18, 2015

torsion

i read somewhere about humans need for struggle and how they need it to survive.

no wonder im still alive.

...

work can be stressful sometimes, which is odd considering im petix 99% of the time.

...

i think i miss being good at something. i miss excelling at something. i miss doing something important. i dont think id mind the struggle if that is the setup. and sa tingin ko namimiss ko nang maging... importante??

...

have u ever done a huge decision that changed your life forever?-- i did.

id like to believe that ive made the right decision, but with all these struggles, im not so sure.

i was doing good. i had a great life ahead of me... but i threw that all.

i guess, i just wanted to be free then. to not having to miss important occasions because im too busy. to have time for my family and my dogs. to bond with my friends and meet new ones. to expand my world, learn new things and see what life outside the four walls that i use to confine myself in has to offer.

in a way, i think, i got what i wanted.

pero...

hayyst. do i really need to let go of one in exchange of the other?

...

i traded the prestige, the sense of importance, career fullfillment etc for more time, better relationships, personal growth and a lot more. well, these are good things. leaving one in exchange of the other is explainable.. siguro i just want to have them all. maybe i could've gotten them kung nag-isip pa ko at nagplano some more.... pero hindi rin. i was sure that was the only way back then. and i still am..

still, part of me wants to claim my life back. but im scared of having to let go what i have gained from that huge decision.

...

really sometimes, i dont know anymore.

...

i guess i just want to pack my bags and run away from all these.

ayawan na.

sighs..

...

sana ganun nalang kadali.

{ 気分} worried, depressed, sleep deprived and hungry

02:58 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

6 コメント

* * * *

You are not logged into your Tabulas account. Please login.

liruandlegallyraven

Comment posted on June 18th, 2015 at 10:54 PM

"i think i miss being good at something. i miss excelling at something. i miss doing something important. i dont think id mind the struggle if that is the setup. and sa tingin ko namimiss ko nang maging... importante??"

I feel you in this

but I can only tell you one thing there are times when the mind needs to rule the heart and the body and there are times when you need to hear you heart out. but the most important thing is to balance both. but we always in pursuit of that balance.
so why don't you try to relax when you're lost.
but if you aren't lost, get lost.
you must relax in order to clear up your mind and get yourself back together

I know you already know this but I just want to throw some 2 cents in

and I should probably listen to myself saying this to you

I can see bits of myself in you po although I am just 24.

still you are you and I am me.

let's shake things up, don't we

lol. I technically just wrote my supposed post as a response to you

Reply to this comment

cinderellaareus

Comment posted on June 19th, 2015 at 09:31 AM

thanks liru-chan. whatever u r in now must be tough.. pero pasasaan ba't malalagpasan din naten to..hehe..

goodluck saten.:) <3

Reply to this comment

flor_zee

Comment posted on June 18th, 2015 at 08:17 PM

Never second guess yourself,you are just missing the familiar. When this life necomes easy then you'll realize what you really want. Beverley Knight's song went: People ask how it feels to live the kind of life others dream about
I tell them everybody gotta face their highs and their lows
And in my life there's a love I put aside, cause I was busy loving something else
So for every little thing you hold on to, you've got to let something else go

Reply to this comment

cinderellaareus

Comment posted on June 19th, 2015 at 09:33 AM

Thanks. :)

at talagang nireseach ko pa kung sino si Beverley Knight. hehe..

"And in my life there's a love I put aside, cause I was busy loving something else
So for every little thing you hold on to, you've got to let something else go.." i love this.

Reply to this comment

koficola

Comment posted on June 18th, 2015 at 07:16 PM

wow, that's very brave. A friend said that in order to gain what you want, you need to get out of your comfort zone :D Wishing you well with your decision, whatever it might be ;)

Reply to this comment

cinderellaareus

Comment posted on June 19th, 2015 at 09:44 AM

thanks. this are just some career-related mayhem of thoughts inside my head.

"order to gain what you want, you need to get out of your comfort zone."--your friend's right. i agree. :)

Reply to this comment