the office feels arctic, grabe malapit na ata ako ma-coma.

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Monday's back. im suppose to device a battle plan on how im gonna make my life awesome, kaso tinatamad ako, bukas nalang. hahaha. sighs.

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was chatting with some friend from my old company. funny just a few days ago, i was thinking how my life back in there is just a few years away and yet feels like it's been ages ago. it actually feels like everything was just a dream now.. yung parang hindi talaga nangyari. ganun.

still, i do not feel in anyway detached. especially since i have few friends there who still keep me posted about what's happening. but  sometimes, part of me wants to burn the bridge completely. there are lot of times when im upset, bitter, pissed off, angry, whatever about the setup and all. plus yung mga might have beens. yung alam mo yun? ewan. basta nakakainis. if something about your past pisses you off, then it's best if you cut that off your life, right?.. pero kasi... sighs..

i guess i dont want to think about that anymore..

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anyway. late na naman ako. 1min. kada liko at kada kanto kasi sa lugar namin, may inaayos na kalsada. kung kelan tag-ulan at kakasimula lang ng pasukan. very good. iniisip ko nga if mag board nalang kaya ko near office just like i use to? that way i can say yes to some night outs plus going to my weekend events wouldnt be so much of a hassle. pero kasi.. sighs.. ive done that before. i remember going home in deafening silence.i remember dreading the idea of going home kasi alam mong wala namang tao dun. yung tipong feeling mo iwewelcome mo na kahit multo basta may makausap ka lang. it was terrible. nakakalungkot ng bongga. ayoko na ng ganun.

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know what, im starting to get so fed up with my life's setup lately. parang gusto ko na namang gumawa ng drastic change. yung tipong pag-sisisihan ko afterward? ganun? pero sa totoo nyan, konti lang naman yung mga bagay na nagawa ko tapos pinagsisihan ko. karamihan ng mga pinagsisihan ko e yung mga hindi ko nagawa. pero still, i dont think diving head first to my own destruction sounds like a good idea. siguro dapat stay put lang muna. or maybe i just need a break.

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i havent been to the feast for quite some time. i havent been going to my panata wednesday either. ang weird weird. normal na tao ka ba pag nalulungkot ka twing hindi ka nakakapagsimba? siguro hindi na talaga ako normal na tao...

this week, the panata wednesday will have to pass. for my own sanity, it has to. namimiss ko narin talaga si fr. m. sana nandun sya.

02:25 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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