my laptop's still alive. thank you, Lord!

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such an unproductive day. my location is bad enough and i hate that the traffic's stealing precious hours or my life away. hindi ko maintinhan kung bakit kung kelan tag-ulan e saka naman laging maraming inaayos na kalsada. 

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family's day out tom. dad's birthday celebration. i was suggesting na mag order nalang kami at sa bahay nalang kumain. nakakatamad kasi. this rainy season seems to be setting me automatically into hermit mode. 

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we're almost half way through july. the weighing scales says im still fine, but i can already feel flabs forming around the waist since ive been eating a lot and havent been moving much lately. the flabs weren't there before. i have a few more months. i know i should start moving now if id like to make it to my goal. started crunches, other ab exercises and a few arm toning exercise yesterday. ang saket ng abs ko. lalo tuloy akong tinatamad lumabas. arg.

im thinking of signing up again for the indoor pool near the office. kaso tag-ulan nga. di ba parang ang weird ko non, baka ako lang ang nagswi-swimming habang umuulan. well, wapakels naman talaga ko sa sasabihin ng mga tao pero baka rin kasi sipunin ako or something. kaso hindi ko naman maisip kung sang panig ng araw ko ko isisingit ang cardio. pero sabi nga, if there's a will there's a way. gusto ko narin talagang pumayat.

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ang daming gagawin at ang dami ko nang nasasayang na oras. im worried that if i fail to find a way to get myself out of my situation, baka forever na akong mastuck dito. oh, Heavens... please..

i decided not to proceed with the project that cousin and i have been thinking of starting. siguro nga promising yung project, but im no longer young. i dont want to waste away the remaining times of my life doing something i hate. i want to do something i love to do at ang pinaka malaki kong problema e hindi ko talaga alam kung ano ba yun.

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"when the devil calls, don't argue, just hang up."- heard this somewhere and it seems timely. i know my life's setup is bad enough and complicating it further will not make it any better. pero sa ngayon, ang gusto ko lang talaga e bumalik nalang sa dati lahat. sana may remote control na nag re-reset sa mga bagay bagay sa buhay.

*stop* ... *reset* ... *play*

sana pwede nalang yun. 

but humans live on what's there. not on what's not...

...

and yes, im sucking it up.

11:42 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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