had my haircut twice during the weekend. it was now very short i think i look like a lesbian. hahaha.
i guess i have to live with the damage for the next 3 months. hopefully not more than that. sighs.
--
was writing down a plan yesterday when i got hold of my battered 2015 planner. checked each and every entry i jotted down in there since the year started. i remember the 1st quarter of the year on a creative entrep summit with the wbp girls. i remember how much they've changed over the year. and with it i felt the pang of enviousness knowing i didnt change one bit.
i wanted change.
for the past months i made change happen.
ear pierce. haircut after haircut. hair color after hair color. and list goes.
i changed.
or did i?
two months more before the year expires... i know this feeling very well...
--
a few days back ive met a few people. among them, it was this kid who caught my attention.
we were told to separate ourselves into two groups. one will be those who would speak in english, tagalog or whichever language they prefer. and the other one will speak in pure japanese.
i stood up to join the pure japanese group. she then asked, "lilipat ka?" to which i replied something like, of course, isnt that why we came here for? to which she said, "oh sige na nga. pero sasama lang ako sayo ha.."
well, i dont know. i feel like i can see myself in this kid. i think what she really aim for is greatness.. but for some reason she disguises her aspirations into something smaller. maybe so that people will not tag her as someone too ambitious. i dont know. i think its such a waste.
pero kahet ganun natutuwa parin ako sa kanya. nakita ko kasi sa kanya yung flame..yung passion.burning. and her choice of words were very similar to mine (i.e.. take risk, try, kakayanin). natutuwa pag nakakakita ako ng mga ganun tao. so i tried to encourage and help her out. because she's just like me. and to my surprise, i learned she's also a CE grad and licensed din. she's about to be sent in japan next year...nice.. kung ano man ang inaaspire ng batang to sana maabot nya.
in a way, siguro namimiss ko rin yung dating ako. nasa akin parin naman yung flame.. but it no longer burns like the way it use to. sometimes im scared that the monotony in my life will soon extinguish this fire. i want to protect this fire but lately ive been feeling so powerless. hindi ko alam kung kaya ko ba. nalulungkot ako.
madalas wala naman talaga akong pakialam. pero kung may isang bagay siguro na kinatatakutan ko... siguro yun e yung lumipas ang panahon at gumising nalang akong nagsisisi dahil hindi ko na pala kayang abutin pa yung mga panagarap ko. ayokong mangyari yun. ayoko talaga..
pero paano?
--
less than a couple of weeks before KCON. i already filed my leaves at the office. hindi ko mafeel ung usual excitement na nafefeel ko everytime na naiisip ko yung kcon nuon. pero sana naman, maging maayos lahat.
--
another absolute zero hour sleep. i wonder when will i ever outgrow insomnia.
03:12 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
コメントを書く
