suicide mission over. i didnt die. woohoo!!

it wasnt bad. it was sort of fun even.

know what, a few days back, partner noticed some guy officemate to which he said "not bad" (translation: "mejo gwapo") to which i agreed and since then he never stop teasing me to the guy.

last night he kept teasing me even when the guy's actually around. good thing he's teasing me in japanese so the guy and the others dont really have an idea. jeez... i just hope partner would get over with all these teasing soon. nahihiya na kasi ako. baka magka effect. haha. leche.

partner was "observing" the women at the area, giving comments from time to time, until out of the blue, he told me, "marami ka palang kakompetensya", still pertaining to the guy he's teasing me with. i wonder if he's really buying into the idea.

i too observed the women in there. it just fascinates me how different they are from the women im accustomed to (ie. my friends, acquaintances, people i worked with, etc.) who are mostly more on the victorian side. when i was younger, it use to shot my brows up whenever i see women like this. but right now i actually see them as people where i can learn something from. and though different  in many aspects, i think we all have a common denominator. we all seek men's attention.. we're just doing it differently. and to some, they seek every man's attention, some are just interested to get that from that one man they cherish the most. i guess it's not a case where one is bad and the other is good. we just happen to be different. and that's ok.

i often like just one guy at a time. so it follows that i only seek that one guy's attention. some girls aim to catch men's eyes (i think that's rather easy since men are visual creatures). i often aim to catch the man's heart (i realize though that in order to catch a man's heart, you need to catch his eyes first). i wonder if that's the reason why i do things differently... but then again, i guess, we all do.

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friday payday.

ice's asking to watch mockingjay together.

and college friend's setting up some meetup to watch some tagalog movie i have no idea about.

i said yes on both.

but in reality, my social juices are all exhausted i just want to stay home and sleeeeep. i dont even want to see my friends. i do miss them though.

my friends had change. i too did. and we're still changing. as i watch the changes in my friends' life, i feel like im becoming clearer in the kind of life i want to live.

if clarity comes, can the realization of the dreams be far behind?

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another realization:

maybe one can actually care for a person even without having to own that person...

01:13 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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