it was a hot monday morning and im wearing black. i feel like my shirt's absorbing all the heat of metro manila.
lesson learned. i will never ever wear black again.
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holiday monday at work. uber buryo mode. wala akong makulit sa mga friends ko online kasi nga wala naman silang pasok.
office's back to normal.. but then when it comes to this office, im not so sure what's normal anymore.
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was at the chap this morning. last thurs, i wrote a letter and drop it in their petition/love offering box. it was immediately granted... so today, it made me think, "wait, let's do this again" .. and so i took another sheet of paper, wrote down my thanks and a few more things. i was surprised, when i was finished, i was able to fill the page back to back. read what i wrote and it got me teary eyed. parang ang weird na naiiyak ka sa sarili mong sinulat.
been feeling this twisting pain in the chest as if what's inside my rib cage is being tied up into a knot. i know this feeling very well because ive felt this twice before. i know this is a call for a massive change.. but the Lord knows i cant afford to do that at the moment.
shucks... ano bang gagawin ko, God? huhu..
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bro and i formulated some plan yesterday. when we were finished with the brainstorming, he was like, "asahan ko na yan ha.. baka bumack-out ka naman.." sheeeshh..and here i am thinking all along that im not the type who backs out.
i want to not overthink anything about it right now. over the years kasi, narealize ko na ang delaying tactics ko sa buhay e to complicate things too much untill id end up not doing them at all.. so ill try to trick myself into seeing through this idea by making everything as simple as possible.
ayoko na muna matakot, or mag alala, or mag-isip at all. id do what i can... act lang. tipong robotic act para walang emotion. kasi pag may emotion baka matakot na naman ako, or tamarin, or mag back out. so hanggat hindi ko natatapos to, kailangan ko munang maging robot.
yeah. im a robot. jeez.
03:05 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。
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