had fun at the grand easter feast as usual.

went with yang and joi. yang and i met up at around 11. the program started at 2. joi, who got our tickets, arrived at almost 3. great. pero ok lang. masaya parin naman. whenever i go to gatherings like this i usually go home with that happy and light feeling... that's why it baffled me how yesterday was so different. i didnt know what's with the dark clouds and all until i remembered why...

its been years...

straight pa buhok ko non.

tas kinulot ko.

tas from waist length, naging mid length, hanggang sa naging shoulder length tas ngayon hanggang sa batok nalang ang buhok ko pero pumupunta parin ako dun.

nakailang transform na ko ng sarili. from 2 naging 5 na ang ear piercings ko.

nakailang transfer na rin ako ng trabaho.

but i always go back to that same place where i found refuge n years ago.

a place that made my wednesday special.

I started going there at a time when my life was pretty messed up. i dont remember anymore how i felt back then. but im pretty sure it had been really bad. i dont know how i managed to maintain a composed demeanor when i was a total wreck inside...

in there, i found solace. i found safety. and peace. and inspiration.

i remember being too busy at work and yet found time to go there. i-skip na lahat ng event, wag lang yun.

my wednesday. my beloved wednesday.

since the year started, alam kong hindi na ko nakakapunta dun. hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari. hindi naman nagbago ang amount ng time na meron ako for the past years. ano bang excuse ko? hindi ko alam.

siguro kasi pag ok ka naman, pag medyo masaya ka, madaling makalimutan yung source of comfort mo nung magulong magulo pa ang buhay mo.

nalulungkot ako.

yesterday, i only got to see him halfway through the sermon because we were late.

he's still as good as ever. when the mass ended i just watched him stepped out of the stage, walked at the side stopping from time to time to allow people touch the back of his hands on their foreheads.

we were sitting at the lower box in second floor.

i wouldve been one of those people na gustong magbless sa kanya kung nasa first floor lang ako. if i could be bold enough, maybe i would even give him a hug.

shocks.. this is so heartbreaking.

i wont be seeing one of the most influencial people in my life from now on. for how long, im not even sure. i dont even know if ill ever see him again.

that person who had kept me sane for all these years... and he doesnt even know my name.

that person who had kept me from falling apart... without him knowing anything about it.

i know he was a tool that the Heavens used to prevent me from destroying myself...

tapos ngayon.... tapos ngayon.... wahhhh!!!

grabe nalulungkot talaga ko... good thing im alone at the office, no one will see me crying.. wahh!! takte to. tissue please.. huhu.

sighs..

everything happens for the best daw.

matagal kaya sya don? baka mamaya one week lang pala sya dun nagdradrama pa ko. haha.

sabi may pinapagawa ata sa kanya si pope. training or something. hindi ko na matandaan.

sana maging maayos ang lahat.

..

huhu.

ingat po kayo dun.

balik po kayo.

isasama ko po kayo sa prayers ko.

thank you.

good luck

please come back..

hihintayin po namin kayo...

..

..

love,

z

02:50 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

コメントを書く