my eyes sear. for the past 5 days since my dog got "sicker" than she already was, my eyes were practically a built-in irrigation system. today, the side effect (aka, eyebags, redness and swelling) got worse, makeup doesnt seem to have much effect...

so inside this 4-story building, im wearing sunglasses. thank you very much.

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my baby thangs is getting weaker. i refused to call the vet because of what happened to yuri the last time. i told mom im gonna sell my stocks to send thangs to a big hospital for animals. mom said it could be too late for that. she said i should accept it and let thangs rest.

i tried remembering my relationship with thangs since the day she was born. i only hurt her once and i only did that so she would let go of our other dog who was trapped bleeding between her teeth. even when she would playfully bite me to the point that it hurts, i never spanked her or anything...

i think i have been a good human to my dog. And, just this one time, im going to be selfish.

we've lost a number of dogs before and all the time they would just die only when we've told them that it's ok. that they could rest. i think it's sort of some magic words for dogs. im not sure too. mom said i should let thangs go already. i hate to see her suffering too.. but i cant. i cant. i stopped telling her to fight though. i wish she would just decide on her own if she wants to stay with us or not. im so sorry thangs... if only i could do something. anything. im sorry.

i dont know when this crying fiesta would stop. i wish thangs will just get well soon. i know. i know. pets die too sometimes.. still, i want to ask the Heavens for more time. And by more time, i dont mean days, or months.. i mean years.. maybe 10 or 20 or so. i know that's impossible, but we cannot really limit what the Heavens can do, right?

just a mental note though. if this crying fiesta continues, ill be needing to scout for sunglasses with corrective lenses because bad eyesight and walking along EDSA dont seem to go too well together.

12:32 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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