holiday monday at work but im not complaining. this is one of those really rare times when i can leave home to work later than the usual and still not get late. how can i complain?

fast paced life is getting back on. i barely had time to mourn for losing my baby thangs but it doesnt mean i didnt. i stopped crying, alright. But whenever i see the couch i used to find her in, or whenever im in the bathroom and remember how she used to knock on our bathroom door to make me get out because she was going to eat (my dog required audience when eating). Or when i no longer have to cut some of my baon to share with my thangs... it still sends me to tears sometimes. ive always been scared of ghost, pero iba pala pag mahal mo yung nawala.. im not scared of seeing thangs as a ghost.. i actually long for it.. oh, man, i think ill start crying if i go on writing this.

jeez.. ok. moving on...

saturday was eventful. i thought we were just having the usual training session with g, until he proposed that we continue the coaching in his car kasi better ang audio. he then drove off. bought pancit and cake then drove some more. we continued training in the car even when it was moving. i was crafting and delivering evaluation speeches while the car was moving! it was epic!

then we found ourselves in a mayamanin house with a lot of crystals and glass displays which made jay gasp everytime her daughter, margaux, moves in fear that the little girl would break something. i can relate. i can barely move myself back there. i cant remember agreeing to come. i just found myself there. i guess that's just g's style. he would not let you know what's happening so you wouldnt have the chance to decline.. in a way, im glad that he brought us there.

that night, the officers of the oldest TM club in the philippines was having their meeting and g asked to have us with them so that we can deliver our speeches and have the core members of that club evaluate us. most of the members, by the way, were... how can i say it in a better term? well, old (sorry, i have limited vocabulary). which also meant that they were as knowlegable as they were wise because they've been into TM for a long time. it was also star-studded because among them were 2 showbiz personalities. one was a beauty queen and one was an actor.

the host(the owner of the house), they said, was the founder of TM in the philippines. she's this elegant woman who's probably in her 60's. she was no-nonsense and rather intimidating that when g announced that jay and i will be delivering our speeches, we were both asking, "ano tong napasok naten?" or "uwi nalang kaya tayo..."

when we got there, the members first had their meeting so jay, margaux and i waited at the dining area where a sosyal sosyalang buffet was waiting for us. it was about 7pm then. they finished their meeting, and we started eating. ang sarap ng food, men.. haha.. eventhough g basically just brought us there without so much prior knowledge on what we were heading to, thankful narin ako na binitbit nya kami duon. it was a "wow, ganito pala ang bahay ang mayayaman!" and "wow, ganito pala kumain ang mga mayayaman!" moment. i really enjoyed it.

when we were finished with our dinner, the dilemma continued. jay delivered her speech, i evaluated her, then they evaluated us. i was sure grilled, but i learned a lot. when their evaluation for jay was finish, the beauty queen among them sort-of brought jay to the sala and thought her how to stand and how to walk. i was dying to learn that too, but the host and the rest of the members was still grilling me at that time so i had to stay planted on my seat. how sad. that was a once in a lifetime moment to learn from a beauty queen.. why Lord?? huhu! char! haha!

i think it was about 11 at that time and they told jay and margaux(jay's daughter) that they can go home since she was already finished and just so that the little girl(margaux) can sleep already. so i was left to evaluate the actor among them. he was apparently their representative for the humorous speech contest. the other reason why they made jay go home was so that she wouldn't see his speech because they'll be competing with eachother for the same category.

before i delivered my evaluation for Mr. Actor, i was told to apply all their suggestions and observations for me back in my evaluation for jay. i was dead scared that Mrs. host will get angry if i mess up this time so nag performance level talaga ko. i might've did well because tita remy then shook my hand and told me, "good job".. even Mrs. Host said, "inapply mo yung mga sinabi namin." still, meron parin silang nakita, which im very happy about because it added up to my learning. the whole meeting ended up at past 12 and as usual, i hitched a ride with g up until mentor's place in fairview. he woke mentor up to open the gate and they both waited until i ride the bus home.

it's weird. that guy, mentor. i wonder, is he always that gwapo pag bagong gising??? lol.

just a week before the contest. if i lose, all will end there. no more trainings, hindi na kailangang magpuyat. hindi na kailangan kabahan. hindi na kailangan gumawa ng mga bagay na way outside ng comfort zone ko. parang si cinderella after ng ball? ganun. the best of the best from all areas will compete. i dont know what my chances are. i know how good some of them can be.. hindi parin talaga ako ganun ka comfortable sa english. still, i dont want to make it too easy for them to beat me. how can i do that? i dont know.

thankful narin ako sa experience... still ayoko parin talaga na mag end ng ganito lang. nakakalungkot kasi e.. parang sayang yung effort. ni g. ni mentor. yung mga taong nag-evaluate samen last sat. nakakalungkot kasi yung ganun. basta, im going to do my part, tapos neto, bahala na.

gusto ko paring manalo.

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g texted me that i was one of the 30 TMs chosen to be invited to tita remy's surprised bday party on sat. same date ng contest. i dont know who among our club members were invited or kung meron man lang ba akong kakilalang darating. sigurado akong iiinvite yung iba sa club namin, ang question lang naman e kung makakarating sila. siguro naman invited din si jay and she's so likely to come so im hopeful. mejo mayamanin din ang angkan ni tita remy, tas ang gaganda pa ng lahi nila. i thought of declining kasi nakakahiya... pero naalala ko lang na "do something that scares you"... so i confirmed my attendance. sa totoo lang, mas kinakabahan pa ko dito kesa sa contest.

the contest, by the way, is going to be held in some mini theater. so this time, sa isang legit na stage kami mag de deliver ng speech. mahiyain talaga akong tao, pero nalaman ko sa toastmasters na wala ako stage fright at hindi ako nahihiya pag nagsasalita sa harap ng stage. kaso naisip ko rin na it could be because we were delivering our speeches in an elevated platform at hindi naman talaga actual stage. this will be the first time na mag iispeech ako sa as in stage talaga. im bothered because im feeling more excited than scared at the thought. kasi baka kung kelan nandun na ko at mag iispeech na e baka saka naman ako dapuan ng kaba. well, bahala na. sa ngayon, naeexcite talaga ako. kahet ako, nawiwirdohan din na ganito ang nararamdaman ko.

limang tulog nalang... grabe, suspense to.

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PS: mentor tagged some photo showing the contestants for the upcoming contest with the question that went into something like, "who will be the next champion?" or something..

gosh...ayan na, ayan na... kinakabahan na ko... T_T

02:15 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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