there's that abnormal thumping in my heart as a write this. i am like this whenever i feel a mixture of excitement, awe, fear and a whole galaxy of other emotions.

4 wonderful days at kcon were over. as always, i learned a lot. i just realized i feel most alive whenever i learn new things and meet new people i wonder if being this way has something to do with my life's purpose. idk.

one of the classes i chose was entitled "from grit to great" where the speaker was jonathan yabut who was the champion of the apprentice asia season 1. grabe, he was so galing i was in awe the whole time. i dropped writing down notes altogether because i didnt want to miss a single word from his talk. grabe, ang galing nya!! he actually reminds me of my mentor, ivan. the composure, the way he speak, his outstanding common sense.. and pati aura din. i dont know if its just me.

we were not able to take a photo with jonathan but i think its ok. in fact i wasnt so keen in taking pics with anyone from the speakers i admire from this year's kcon because i dont think taking a pic will make a difference--I WANT TO MEET THEM IN PERSON. i want them to know my name. i want that when they see me, they greet me by the name with matching beso beso pa. ganung level. i dont want to be a mere fangirl anymore. i really want to hang out with these people. i want to be like them. be one with them. i dont want to just sit in the sidelines admiring how great they are. i want to see if i can do the same and i want it so bad it hurts.

i just thought of sha. she was once someone i admired and i still do. but it's different now. whenever she see me, she now greet me by the name and do beso beso. i want things to be the same with the other people that i admire. before i met sha i was scared of her. not because she's scary, maybe because i saw myself as someone who doesnt/cannot/wont keep up with her level. i guess sometimes it's just us who's building our own barriers that keep us from reaching out to people.

i told yang we will find a way to meet dylan wilk(another speaker we loved at kcon) in person. i intend to do the same with jonathan yabut. i dont know how, but i will. i dont know if i can pero bahala na.

sabi ni tim ferriss, mas madali daw i reach yung mga (seemingly) impossible dreams kasi majority daw ng tao e ine-aim lang yung sa tingin nila e kaya nilang ma achieve, which is mediocrity.. kaya sa mediocre dreams, marami kang kompitensya at sa impossible dreams konti lang, so when it comes to numbers, mas mataas ang likelihood na maabot mo ang impossible dreamsn kesa sa mediocre dreams. gusto kong panghawakan ang concept na to.

started watching the apprentice asia season 1 in youtube, ewan ko kung bias lang ako pero episode 1 palang, i think jonathan was really quite promising na. but well, we know the ending. he was the champion.

----

a lot on my plate still. bsp6 due in less than two weeks and i still cant find the inspiration to write anything, which is quite ironic because i am nothing but inspired right now. kung hindi ko masusulat to before friday, id be in trouble.

friday will be nini's wedding. im trying not to worry too much on how i can shed off kcon-acquired fats in just a few days, i wish lipo can be an option. lel.

Christening of injan's baby boy soon. im gonna be a ninang again. jeez.. gusto ko na namang magbenta ng body parts. haha. sighs..

sabi ni tim ferriss, instead of asking what you want, ask what are the things that excite you and find ways to do that. kung yun lang ang tanong sa tingin ko kayang kaya ko yong sagutin. learning things, meeting people and reading books. these are the things that make me feel so much alive and come to think of it, if these are the things im suppose to be doing in my life, then im already living it. nice right. i guess i wasnt doing so bad after all.

another thing. table topics and international speech contest due in january. this is what ive been waiting and preparing for the whole time since i joined toastmasters. i fear that i wont be able to write a piece in time for the club contest again just what had happen back in the contest for midcon. malulungkot ako kung hindi ako makakasali sa inspirational speech contest this year. ayoko ng table topics. at dahil delusional na tao naman talaga ko, pangarap ko talagang maging world champion.. pano ko kaya gagawin to kung pagsulat palang ng bsp6 ko e hirap na hirap na ko..

pero kahit ano pa man.. masaya ako kasi meron akong ganitong mga pangarap...

04:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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