sleep has been elusive for the past few days.

you used to invade my dreamland and now i find it unfair how you invade both that and my waking hours too.

there was this Neuro-linguistic programming practice that i learned a few years back. it was being used as a cure for phobia caught from traumatic expreriences. the technique was pretty simple. i tried using it more than a couple of times to "forget" people. most of the time to "delete" heartbreaks. i find heartbreaks time-consuming and absolutely unnecessary so i skip going thru them through this technique. i know this is a coward's way out, but--

The effect is that you'll remember everything, but the feelings that you feel for the person or for the experience itself will just miraculously disappear. You can see the person or remember the event but it can no longer affect or hurt you. it works wonders, really.

i thought of "deleting" you too, you know... because you're taking so much space in my head and so much time, and not to mention, you're preventing me from sleeping. but--- i dont know. ayaw e.. i cant seem to do it. leche, right? also, im scared that maybe the technique is not reversible. i cant imagine "forgetting" you forever.

so yeah, maybe instead that, the most effective approach right now is to ignore whatever this is. since there's no chance that id see you, i think you're basically harmless to me. it's just that, im still that painfully jealous type who would fume at the slightest provocation, like when someone mention a girl's name, relating that girl to you or when you get flirty flirty with someone we both know and whatnot.

leche, i should delete you... but--

yeah, i think this is just a phase. besides, it's december. i remember you every december year after year after year, so what's new?

i wonder what will happen if one day ill find out that you have someone else na.. im not scared, im more like curious. really curious. how will i react? will it kill me? i think that's ridiculous...

but then, not impossible.

so yeah.. i guess, i wont "delete" you after all.. maybe not now.. or maybe never.

and... give me a few more days and ill get over this... oh, watch me.

03:58 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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