I picked 2 Polo shirts and 1 t-shirt in the most baby friendly fabrics I can find. I love shopping for baby clothes. I admit there is that longing that someday I'd be shopping clothes for a baby that is my own. 

It was my nth inaanak's 1st birthday. Injan's baby boy. 

Injan and I sat by the couch. I realize how hard it is to talk to a friend you miss in between a stressful kiddie party. 

"Naalala mo ba nung high school graduation? Bago umuwi, di ba nagpaiwan tayo sa quadrangle para magkwentuhan tungkol sa mga pangarap naten? "

Injan's face lighted up. I knew she remembered. We can no longer recall the dreams that we had then though. 

A lot of things changed. Ang bait lang ng langit, He gave me friends I was able to keep this long. 

I asked injan if she's OK and if she misses being single. She said she does, but whenever she's with her son, worth it rin naman daw ang pagiging married. 

I met her husband for the first time. I felt relieved and happy that he actually seemed to be a good man. 

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TM night last night. I was one of the speakers. The vote master was announcing the winner then and when he mentioned my name, I just stared at him waiting for the punchline. Promise, akala ko talaga joke lang. I'm just happy that I was not only over with my least favorite speech project, I also ended up winning a limited edition pouch with the name of our club written on it. Grabe, gusto ko ngang ipa-frame to. 

Officers' meeting was held after. When u care, u get hurt with little things, and I hate that part. I can only respond with silence since I'm not so good at pretending to be all cool about things when I'm not. Nasan ba ko nung nagpasabog ang langit ng acting skills? 

Then I had a little chat over coffee with a friend after the meeting. Taught her how I "delete" feelings in order to skip heart breaks through some NLP technique. Her guy is a jerk and she knows that too. I think she needed it. I swore not to use the technique again though.

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He doesn't say sorry, doesn't like repeating himself and hates being interrupted. These are three of the things I don't like about him. But then he's just like the one-minute manager from ken blanchard's book, right. Maybe he really needs to be like that. I understand and accept. I still don't like it though. 

We can believe in the illusion of control, believe that we can(or should) change people. Or we can just have faith in the good things that we saw in them. In most cases naman, the bad rarely outnumber the good. Humans are complex beings. Control is so exhausting I prefer having faith. In a way, I think I'm starting to learn how to appreciate imperfections. Trust me, it's really hard if u have that perfectionist side in u. But I'm learning. 

Also, i realized, I'm not really afraid.

Boy, I'm in that loop again. It consumes so much time and emotion without guaranteed return. I wonder if I should once again be practical about it and do the easiest task of just "deleting" the feelings, skip all the drama and move on. But the guy involved is someone in have high respect for. I'm afraid that the respect would be "deleted" too if I do. 

Universe, okay na. Iba naman... 

11:09 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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