I remember he was the one who introduced me to pritong palaka. I bet I wouldn't ever know the taste if it wasn't for him. I also learned from him that a small galunggong is also called "jiji". I was never a fan of fish since I was small, but I liked the jiji that we ate in their house. I even told my mother to cook jiji but it just didn't taste the same.

I also remember how he often stormed the house to pick a fight with my dad, his younger brother. I remember he once broke our window while causing raucous. I remember becoming big enough and brave (others might say stupid) enough to get out of the house to fight him back and tell him to stop pestering Dad. I remember the shouting. He brought his gun some time... but never once pointed it to me. I remember lola's tears. I remember shouting at tita for telling me to stop. I remember crying and saying sorry for talking back. I remember being angry, so angry.

But I also remember asking Dad to forgive him. I remember how I started to realize that he was just a child in a man's body, how he never learned how to express his love properly. I thought then that he's stupid, but also pitiful. I also remember thinking that maybe he's not really a bad person afterall.

I remember how one of his grandchildren died. Just an infant then. I remember how Dad went to his house to attend the funeral of the child and the warmth I felt in my heart when he and Dad finally reconciled.

He was the toughest man in the family. Also the most industrious. I don't remember him going to the gym, but even at an old age, he had abs to prove his daily physical labor. I remember him helping us collect the garbage. I remember him being our go-to person when there were threats of burglary in the neighborhood. He was the man-est a man can be. He was Tito Peping.

He left us today. He's the first to go among Dad's many siblings. I was saying my condolences to my orphaned cousins, but I don't know. I don't think there will be any word that could soothe a grieving child's heart. If it had been Dad... oh God... I don't know.

Rest in peace, Tito. Salamat sa lahat ng tulong mo. Sa paghatid mo sakin papasok sa trabaho when Mom and Dad were in the province. Our memories were not all bliss, but I'm glad, we were able to work things out. Between you and me, between you and Dad.

I pray that my cousins will find the peace and comfort they need at a time like this. I don't know what to give. Heavens, please... 

04:14 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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