It's a Friday. I'm supposed to study for the exam tomorrow. Earlier, I felt like I have so much time until 2 hours passed and I haven't opened my reviewer yet. Great.

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I've been sleep deprived the entire week. I'm all lutang I feel like I've  had very little grasp of reality.

I was with a friend yesterday for an after-work bonding. We're both single, that's why I can't understand why we have to go to an all-girls gym when we should be expanding our network of single men. Lol. Pero ok lang naman.

But last night got me so surprised because of the ffg convo:

Z: you know I like *****, right?

F: oo. *pauses for 5 sec*. Crush ko rin yun.

Z: what?!

Oh well. But I guess it wouldn't matter since the guy's already taken.

Besides, I do have my eyes set for this not-yet-taken dude, but it seems like I won't be seeing him for a while.

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I've been hearing the line "boys will be boys" ever so often from people. Mostly from men who are convinced that their kind are slaves of their own instinct, driven by their desire for sex, like that's they are all about. Sex. It's such a pity seeing men like this.

But I just can't believe that. Because I have a father, a brother and a few good men in my life, who manned up and are manning up, proving themselves to be better than their desires. Maybe they too want sex, but I never saw them wrap sex around their identity as a man, nor act like they are a slave of it. It such a pity. See, I grew up seeing men as warriors, defenders, leaders, using their manly strength to protect and serve... not just some mascot, itching to mount on a woman to pleasure himself.

I'm just so disappointed, I don't know if I'll ever recover from this. 

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I just remember Mr. Chill. We're not friends. We're not related by blood. But if there is one man I can trust despite that, that would be him. Because I've seen how good his heart is. And he's one of the reasons why I will never accept the pathetic excuse that "boys will be boys."

I heard he's recently single. But I think time had already passed us by so... I think I'm just gonna let the Universe handle this.

08:06 PMにcinderellaareus によって書かれました。

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