Problems and gifts
金曜日: June 7, 2019



"Kung date, date lang, wag mo aalukin ng insurance."

-kaibigan kong bugaw. 

Putek, natawa ko dun. Lol.

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Almost a week of very little sleep. I'm perpetually insomniac, so this is not really new. I did have a little more sleep yesterday though.

I had to take a call before leaving so I missed the start of the mass last night. I was in Quaipo. It took more than an hour travel from my work place, pero sulit naman. I love Quiapo.

When I got there, I was suprised na all-star cast ang mga pari. There was about 10 priests up in the altar, which was weird. 

I went there for the purpose of buying a new rosary and have it blessed. Mine got broken kasi. Bilang lahat ata ng pari sa Quiapo e nagmimisa, wala akong mahagilap na mag be bless ng rosary ko.

I asked every staff, security guard, and volunteer na nakasalubong, all of them said that I can try to wait until the mass ends, but it's not likely daw na nabeblessan yung dala ko since may healing mass pa.

The church smelled like omega pain killer when the mass ended. I got all perplexed when people started lining up. Tas when they get to face the priest and the priest put some oil on them, bigla nalang silang natutumba. Kahit hindi ko naiintindihan kung anong nangyayari, nakipila na rin ako.

Maraming tao sa Quipo. Past 7 na. Sabi ng binilhan ko ng rosary, pwede ko daw isawsaw nalang dun sa may sawsawan ng daliri sa may pinto ng simbahan. Kahit malibag na, sinawsaw ko na rin. Pinahid ko rin yung ibang oil na natira sa kamay ko dun sa rosary, thinking na baka maging healing rosary na sya. Kahit na nabasa na ng holy oil at holy water yung rosary ko, hindi parin ako satisfied.

I waited till the anointing of oil ends. Isa isa nang umaalis ang mga tao. I noticed some of the priest are already washing their hands and leaving. Kaya sinundan ko  yung isa. Ang bilis magkalad ni Father, hinabol ko sya hanggang makapasok sya dun sa pinto. Pakikiusapan ko sana yung guard na tawagin sya para i-bless yung rosary ko, but he instead motioned me to the man standing beside me.

Hinabol habol ko pa yung naglalakad papalayo e nasa tabi ko lang pala yung hinahanap ko. 

The priest who had been standing beside me laid his hand on the rosary on my hand. The guard handed him the holy water, at ayun, I got what I wanted. Minsan, ang far-sighted talaga natin no?

Whenever I have problems or heartbreaks, I feel like it's just God's way of calling me back to Him. It is during desperate times kasi na mas mahahaba at mas heartfelt ang mga dasal natin.

Ano bang worst na pwede mangyari?

Ano bang worst na pwede mangyari na hindi ko kaya?

Hindi naman siguro talaga dapat mag-alala.

------

We are few hours to the weekend. A few weeks from now will be Mom's birthday. We're planning to go to a hot spring in Laguna together with some family friends. Overnight.

Multitasking is never my forte, that's why it goes that I can only feel very few things at a time. Now that my dominant emotion is that of worrying, I find it hard to feel excited about an event that I could've felt excited about if only things are different.

But I'm thankful for the life of my mother. I forever will be.

And despite all the chaos that's going on inside my head, my heart is still grateful. I've been in really dark days before and from those days I learned that problems do not go without blessings along with it. Parang yung sabi ni Richard Bach, "there is no problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek problems because we need their gifts."



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Written by cinderellaareus at 09:07 AM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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