Chotto gurai jubun no koto omotte kangaenai no
金曜日: June 21, 2019



When upset, I try to remind myself of my own blood type.

B-positive.

Sighs.

I was just watching a Bo Sanchez vid on fb saying that God answers our prayers in 4 ways.

1. Yes. Here it is.
2. Yes. Wait for it.
3. No. That's not good for you.
4. No. Here's something better.

Ano kaya ang sagot ng Diyos sa dasal ko?

Hindi ko alam kung bakit lagi nalang shifting ang available na hiring for J-speakers sa Jobstreet. Kahit yung mga malinaw na nakasulat na "day shift" click bait lang pala. Shifting parin. With potential night shift. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pa ko hinayaan ni God na ma-elect ulet as an officer sa club kung hindi Nya naman pala ako papayagang makaattend sa mga meetings.

God, ano pong point?

Iniisip ko kung ito ba ay "yes, wait for it" or a "no, here's something better".

I said "no" to so many companies already though. Sighs. Iniisip ko palang na hindi na ko makaka attend sa meeting, nalulungkot na ko. 

--------

Met with Injan earlier. I was so happy to see her, I forgot why I've met with her in the first place. We've been friends since Grade 2. Tinatamad na kong bilangin kung ilang taon na yun, basta matagal na matagal na. We're practically sisters.

Injan didn't have so many relationships when she was single. She only had 2, and the first one, she didn't even met in person. Of course, the other one is her now husband. He's technically all her firsts. And you know how they met? Facebook. The guy just added her up though they didn't know eachother. They started chatting, became steady, got married and now they have a beautiful baby boy (with lovely eyelashes!).

Come to think of it, even the other people in my life have an almost similar story.

BFF met her husband in Filipinocupid. Brother and Sis-in-law were just textmates who became bf and gf even before they actually met. And yet, here am I insisting that I want someone I already know flesh and bones when I know naman na walang lalaking available sa circle ko.

Well, that's not entirely true. Marami namang available. Wala nga lang silang gusto sakin.

Kung ililista ko at susuriin ang mga lalaking nagustuhan ko nitong mga nakaraang taon, isa lang ang naiisip kong kanilang common denominator.

Proximity.

This girl can be easily lured by a person's presence. Yun lang naman talaga e. Kaya hindi ko alam kung paanong mag wo-work sakin ang dating sites, facebook, or texting.

I asked Injan how she did it. You know... finding herself a husband through Facebook. She said, "ako kasi accept lang ng accept (ng friend request)".

Iniisip ko tuloy kung ang future husband ko ba e kasalukuyang nakatengga sa listahan ng pending friend requests ko sa Facebook. Lol.

I also asked her how did she sustain the conversation. She said, "ewan ko. Boring nga ko e. Basta dapat lang consistent ka." Hindi ko alam kung anong ibig nyang sabihin. Paanong consistent? Consistently boring? Lol.

Siguro ang ibig nyang sabihin e "keep going". 

Keep going.

Kung mag iinvest din lang ako ng time in the hope that things will develop into something better kahit wala namang kasiguruhan, e bakit hindi nalang dun sa taong gusto ko talaga?

Pero kasi...

------

11:25pm na. Bukas ay aalis kami ng 4am papuntang Laguna. Dapat talaga natutulog na ko, pero nagsusulat pa ko dito. What the eff.



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Written by cinderellaareus at 11:27 PM.

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C I N D E R E L L A A R E U S
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep"

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私の名前はZです。

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